Chapter 9
Nine
I lost track of time kissing Verus. He didn’t rush or pull away. Didn’t shove his tongue into my mouth like I’d seen some couples do. He sipped at my lips until my belly quivered and I broke away with a gasp, only to come back for more because I couldn’t get enough. In all my fantasies, I never thought it’d be as all-consuming as this. Just the feel of his lips against mine. I felt like I would float away if he wasn’t holding me so tight.
Despite the innocence of the act, my body throbbed with need, and I shifted restlessly against the bedding, flinching when I tried to move my injured leg. That was what drew Verus to stop. He lifted his head, frowning down at my leg before turning back to me.
“We should not continue. You are hurting.”
“No,” I pleaded, tears filling my eyes. I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t know if I’d ever experience such pure joy again. “Please.”
Verus’s smile made my heart skip a beat, and he gave me one more gentle kiss before pulling away completely. “I will deny you nothing, my ravsol, but I will ask you to wait until you are well. I do not wish to hurt you.”
“But that could take weeks,” I protested. Zoya wasn’t sure just how long it would take for my leg to heal. Only that it would take time. It was why she’d had the crutches made for me. So I wouldn’t be trapped in this tent for weeks on end.
“Then I will stay by your side until you are ready for more.”
His gentle reassurance gave me hope. Maybe I wouldn’t be cursed to be alone after all.
It took another few days of practice, and some readjustments to the crutches, but eventually, I could move on my own and leave the healing tent. Which, of course, was when Verus insisted I move in with him instead. It almost started another argument with Zoya until I assured her I was happy to do it. Verus had slept beside me every night in the healing tent since I cried in his arms. I’d grown to crave it, and I wondered if I’d ever be able to sleep well without him. He was so warm.
My agreement to stay with him put Verus in a very good mood. He strutted around like a rooster, a big grin on his face, until some of his friends started teasing him. I watched him from my spot on the cushions next to Finn. I couldn’t go far yet without getting tired, but the healing tent was near the village center, where a massive fire blazed throughout the day to promote feelings of warmth and welcome. It was where many craftspeople worked on their craft so they could socialize and make trades. Finn told me everyone was seen as equal because one position could not thrive without the rest to support them. It was fascinating to me.
“He looks happy,” Finn commented when he looked up from his book. Not his work today, he was taking the day for himself to rest at his bondmate’s request. Rath said he was working too hard. He bought Finn books through clan trades, which made his bookworm bondmate unbelievably happy. It was cute to watch Finn gush over the moment.
“This morning, I told him I would stay with him in his tent,” I admitted quietly. I still wasn’t used to speaking so openly about my interests in a man.
Finn’s head jerked around, and he beamed brightly. “Really?”
I felt my face flame as I nodded. It felt a little like I was admitting to being intimate with the barbarian. We hadn’t; Verus said we couldn’t do anything besides kiss until I was better. But that didn’t mean I didn’t want to.
“Well, no wonder he looks like that, then. He’s been wishing for it since the day you showed up.”
I knew that, but it still made me smile. He went about it in all the wrong ways, but he’d shown me the day he saved me in the woods that he wanted me. And now he had me. For as long as he wanted to keep me.
A familiar face appeared out of one of the tents, and I braced myself for the fussing. Yamileth was the village cook. She visited a lot when I was in the healing tent, to make sure I was getting everything I needed to heal. She basically adopted me, making me special meals and checking on me often. I never knew that kind of affection, my parents weren’t overly affectionate themselves when I was younger, and I floundered a little every time she came to see me.
“Verus told me you are moving around now. How do you feel?” she demanded when she stepped up to me. She immediately touched my face, checking me over. I felt my cheeks flush from the warm gesture.
“I’m okay. A little slow. It is not easy.” My sentences were all simple, but Finn said I was learning quickly, and at least I could follow most conversations now. He was a good teacher.
She eyed the crutches and made a face. “No. I imagine it is difficult. Rest often. You are well enough to leave the healing tent, but you are not well. You need rest.”
“Verus is taking care of him,” Finn piped up shyly. He’d been with the clan a few months and knew everyone, but he was still quiet.
Yamileth didn’t begrudge him his silence. She just nodded and patted my cheek affectionately before turning to Finn. “I have a request for you, clan scribe.”
He sat up a little straighter. “Y-yes?”
“I wish to write down my recipes. I will not live forever, and I do not want them lost. No one here can be trusted to learn them correctly and share them.”
I tipped my head with a frown. “No one helps you?”
She scoffed, scowling at the nearby clan members. “They try—and only make more work for me. I worry for what will happen once I am gone.”
While Finn nodded and promised her he’d visit her soon to start writing, I considered my options. I wasn’t sure it would be a good idea to offer her help if they were just going to send me on my way soon. But it might be a good way for me to pay them back a little for helping me.
“I, uh… I can cook. I can help.”
She looked amused by the prospect, looking me over. “How? You struggle to move more than I do. You are supposed to be resting.”
I winced. I didn’t know how to say the words I needed in their language. I looked to Finn for help. “Can you translate for me? We haven’t gone over cooking words yet.”
He nodded. “Go ahead.”
With Finn translating, I turned back to Yamileth. “While I’m sitting, I can chop and prepare vegetables and meats, knead dough. I had my own bakery, so I’m good at that. You’re right that I can’t do everything, but I can at least ease some of the burden. And with Finn there taking down recipes, I’ll still be learning the language too.”
They both seemed happy with the offer, and Yamileth patted my cheek again with obvious affection. “You are a sweet boy. If your protector can figure out a way for you to be comfortable while helping me, I will allow it. But if you hurt, you will stop. Understand?”
I nodded. “I understand. Thank you.”
She chuckled, pinching my cheek a little. “You are helping me. I will thank you. Maybe. If you do not cause more work for me. I start before dawn. Your protector should be up by then for the hunt, anyway. Have him bring you to me.”
Waking up early wasn’t anything new for me. And I looked forward to having something to do to give back to the clan that took such good care of me. After I was hurt, I thought I was doomed. But they were trying so hard to help me and get me back on my feet. I wanted to do everything I could to pay them back.
I waited until we were back in his tent before telling Verus that I volunteered to help Yamileth. He looked curious as he helped me get more comfortable in his bed.
“You can cook?”
I nodded. “I, um… I had…” The word for bakery escaped me. I heard Finn use it while translating, but it didn’t stick. “A place where I sold bread in town.”
“Bakery,” he corrected with a soft smile. “You are getting better.”
I flushed at his praise and shrugged. “I want to learn.”
My reply seemed to make him happy, and he rewarded me with a sweet kiss that thrilled me to my toes. He offered his affection so easily, without asking for anything in return. When he pulled away, I fisted his tunic with a frown. I didn't want to let go.
“Verus…”
I wished I didn't have to go. I wished I was a tribute like Finn. But all anyone ever reminded me of was the fact that this was all temporary. I hated that. Who knew if I’d be able to find anything close to this anywhere else?
“Whatever you need, ravsol. It is yours.”
The words were there. I just couldn’t get them out of my mouth. I didn’t want to burden him. I doubted there was anything he could do about it. I just had to soak up as much of him as I could get before they sent me away.
“I want… you.”