Chapter 5 #2
I whirled back around, angry now that she wouldn’t understand.
“What if something happens to you while you’re with me?
I can’t protect you on this planet. I don’t know what the fuck I’m even doing here, but I do know that I can’t have anything happen to you.
” My voice rose, until I was all but yelling at her, but she didn’t even flinch at my tone.
She remained with her arms crossed, eyes firing at me defiantly.
I swiped a hand over my mouth. Anger wasn’t working, so I switched to pleading. Pride abandoned, I dropped to my knees. I wasn’t above begging to keep her alive. “If something happens to you, because of me,” my voice cracked. “I won’t survive it. I won’t, Goldie.”
Her big eyes blinked, and then she lowered herself gracefully to a crouch in front of me.
Her long fingers wrapped around my clenched fists.
She smiled softly, and her eyes glowed fiercely.
Fuck, she was perfect. So golden. So vibrant.
She brought my fists to her mouth, and touched them to her lips, just briefly.
Just a brush along my scarred knuckles. And she remained there, not moving. Not leaving.
My eyes burned. My throat ached. “You’re not going to go home, are you?” I rasped.
She shook her head.
I exhaled roughly as two emotions battled in my chest. Fear over what could happen to her, and relief that I’d get more time at her side.
“I guess you know the risks of this planet more than I do, huh?” She smiled at this, big and bright. A little patronizing. Which I deserved. She knew what she was getting into. I squeezed her hands “Then you have to stay safe and alive, okay?”
She nodded, and then I drew our hands toward my face.
I brushed my lips across her fingers. The fine scales there tickled my lips.
I wasn’t sure of the last time I kissed anyone.
A decade? More? The only person I’d hugged was Malcom before telling him I was going away for a while.
I certainly didn’t tell him I was heading to outer fucking space.
I wasn’t sure how to touch or be touched anymore, not without violence.
But Goldie was different. Part of me wondered if I’d died on that spaceship.
Maybe it had exploded, and I was currently floating through the galaxy in a million little pieces of bone and flesh.
Maybe this was all some sort of weird afterlife vision, the last gasp of my soul.
But then, even my subconscious couldn’t have dreamed a perfect creature like Goldie.
“All right,” I sighed. “You made your decision, so you’re stuck with me then.”
She smiled and hopped to her feet. Our hands separated, and she began to walk with determined steps in the direction of a large mountain in the distance.
As I trudged behind her, I pulled up the hologram map on my watch. Not that I didn’t trust Goldie, but I didn’t want to make her do all the work. Sure enough, we were heading in the direction of the X.
When I’d prepared for this job, I’d been all in.
The thrill of the theft had heated my blood.
But everything changed since I met Goldie.
The thought of returning to Earth, working a shitty job as an ex-con, and being alone without her didn’t appeal one bit.
Maybe I could stay here after I handed off the plant to Holmes…
I shook my head. That was a daydream. I wouldn’t fit into Goldie’s life here.
This was an alien planet. I was crazy. That head injury had scrambled my brains.
Goldie didn’t want to be my intimate partner.
My mind had conjured up a relationship in my dream that wasn’t a reality.
It wouldn’t be a reality. For all I knew, she had like five mates of her own and a dozen kids.
The lip brush on my hands had meant nothing but a way for her to communicate with me without words.
As we walked, we drank water. Ate. I had some provisions, and so did Goldie.
A few times, she picked some ripe fruit from plants we passed and let me try them.
A few I liked. One tasted like cilantro and that was gross.
Another was sweet and soft like a mango, and we laughed as the sticky-sweet juice dripped down our wrists.
I tried to lick at my elbow, which was impossible, but Goldie wasn’t built like me.
Her tongue was longer, and her limbs more flexible.
She lapped at the juice on the tip of her elbow, and I watched with fascination and a little arousal.
When I felt my cock stir, I grunted and turned away. The laughter died in my throat.
When the sun began to set, I stopped us for the day. I was exhausted, my legs like lead. Goldie seemed like she could walk another marathon, but the vanik and the fight earlier in the day had zapped my energy.
We made a small fire, and I collapsed on the ground on my back, knees bent and dropped my arm across my eyes.
Goldie stirred nearby, and I felt a gentle tug on my arm.
I jerked away, but Goldie was undeterred.
She sat at my side with long legs crossed in front of her, and she drew my arm into her lap.
My wrists were raw and angry looking. Hot to touch.
I was afraid they were infected, but there wasn’t much I could do.
Good thing I had Goldie. She rubbed a salve on them, similar to the same paste she’d made for my previous wounds.
The paste stung a bit, and I sucked in a breath, but the sting quickly gave way to a cooling sensation and eased the worrisome heat in my skin.
She then brought my other arm across my chest and treated that wrist as well. Her hands fluttered over my bare chest, applying some salve on some cuts and scratches that I’d accumulated over the day.
The way she tended to me made my head a little foggy. My muscles loose. The entire day I’d been tense, waiting for the next danger, but with the fire crackling nearby, and Goldie making a contented noise in the back of her throat, my body felt like goo.
Goldie drew her fingers over my palm and up to the tips of my fingers, as if she was petting me. I turned on my side and cupped her knee. She brought her hand over top of mine. Yeah, I had to be dreaming.
“I wish you could talk to me,” I said. “I want to hear about where you live. Who you are. What you like and don’t like.” My eyelids dropped. I was so tired, and yet I didn’t want this moment to end. “I want to know you.”
She placed a hand over my heart, fingers curling into my muscle. I tried to keep my eyes open, because I wanted more time with her. I wanted this moment to last. I didn’t even want a tomorrow. I just wanted now to last forever.
But it wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t get forever. I was Ethan Hackett, and I was lucky to even be alive. I couldn’t dare ask for more. I didn’t get a Goldie to keep.