15. Jordan
15
JORDAN
“ T his place is amazing,” Michelle gasps as we take a seat in our little personal booth which I booked especially for us. “I love it. And there aren’t really any other people here, which is awesome. I can actually relax and enjoy myself. Oh, I need that.”
I love seeing her shoulders roll back and her chin jut out. I can see her confidence shining out once more. It makes me yearn for the day when she can be like this full-time, when the danger has passed for good. I really hope that happens because although it might cause a separation for the two of us, she deserves to feel like she can live as everyone else does.
Since I haven’t had any sign of Russian danger, no matter how hard I’ve been looking for it, it feels like things really are going to be good for Michelle, for which I’m so happy. Of course, I’ll be terribly sad if things don’t work out for us, but instead of wallowing in that, I want to enjoy the moments we do have together. We need to create the best memories ever.
“I’m glad.” I reach across the table and hold her hand. “I want you to enjoy our date, and this place is perfect, right?”
“Sure.” She nods, but I do spot her eyes darting around everywhere. She can’t let herself fully let go just in case. “Definitely.”
A candle flickers between us, making her look even more beautiful than normal. I don’t know if she can have self-doubt at all. She’s utterly perfect to me, especially in that dress, but she feels it, anyway. I can see it rolling off her in waves.
“So the job…” I decide to talk about her positive day, to remind her of what brought us here. Particularly since we didn’t talk about it enough beforehand. I was far too preoccupied with the weird woman then. “Tell me more about it. What’s the office like? What are the other people like? I want to hear all about it. You must be so excited to get started on Monday.”
“Everyone seems amazing,” she begins, glowing with happiness. “Obviously, I didn’t get to speak to anyone in particular, but people were really friendly to me, so I think I’m going to do really well there. I might even make friends.” I give her a look, which she interprets immediately. “Don’t worry, I already know not to tell them too much. I get it. I’ll always have to keep a bit of a barrier up so no one knows where I’ve come from and what I’ve done. But friends… I want friends.”
I can see her desperate for those connections, for that life, and it has me wondering how I ever doubted her at all. I can clearly see now what Max saw in Michelle. I’ll definitely trust him more in the future, that’s for sure. He knows what he’s doing.
“Well, I believe that you’ll get the life you wanted. The life that you talked about when we first met. The American Dream. The apartment, which you already have, the job, which you’re starting on Monday, friends, dating…” My words trail off as I land on that one. Thinking about Michelle dating around and exploring that side of her life is too much for me.
“Which I’m doing right now,” she jumps in, sensing my discomfort at the idea of her hanging out with lots of other guys, not that I have any right to tell her not to. “And I’m very happy with it. You’ve helped me to overcome my fear of being out. I mean, I don’t think it’s something I’ll do all the time. I wouldn’t be able to do that without you . But I’m still grateful.”
I allow myself to smile once more, and we continue to hold hands across the table. We lock ourselves in a delightful little bubble where I’m pretty sure we’ll stay all night long. Just me and her, loving one another’s company. Even when the waiter comes over to our table, he isn’t quite as close to us as we are one another. He’s on the outside looking in.
We order food. I barely even know what I ask for. It doesn’t matter. I’m not here for the food, but for the company. I also ask for a bottle of champagne since we’re celebrating and I want to spoil Michelle, which makes her gasp with delight.
“You don’t need to do that for me,” she gushes with her hands clapped to her lips. “It isn’t that exciting news.”
“Don’t treat it as just a job,” I insist seriously, knowing she needs to hear this. “This is a huge deal. It’s a step into your new life. Think back to a while ago when it seemed like this wasn’t possible. Always remember how awesome your progress is. This is also our first proper date, so I think we both deserve a treat, don’t you? Champagne is a treat for the pair of us.”
She nods eagerly, accepting this now, which is awesome. I don’t want her to question anything about tonight. I just want the both of us to enjoy it for everything that it is. I need this night to be magical, the best memory ever, just in case…
“To us!” I declare once we both have a drink in our hands. We clink our glasses together and beam happily over the candlelight. “To everything we have been through and everything we will keep on achieving.”
Michelle tosses her head back and gleefully laughs. “Oh, you really do sound like my husband when you say that.”
A tight ball forms in my chest. Imagine if I were . But the thought is a weirdly good thing. I never would have liked the idea of commitment before. I didn’t think it would ever be for me, but now… well, with Michelle, everything is different. That’s frightening. I’m not sure how the hell I’m going to get out of this without becoming a broken man.
“Tonight has been incredible,” Michelle whispers as she leans into me. “Dinner was awesome, and this is even better.”
It might only be walking along the riverside in the moonlight, but after the night we’ve had, it really does feel incredibly romantic. My feelings for Michelle are only growing with every passing second, and I don’t think there’s any chance of me shoving them away now, even if Max does find out and kick my ass. She’s just so perfect for me in every single way.
Don’t forget that you might lose her, I try to remind myself. This might only be temporary. Don’t fall too deeply.
But protecting my heart doesn’t feel easy when I look into her eyes. I don’t think I can do it. So instead of continuing, I simply spin her around where she stands and pull her toward me for yet another intense, mind-blowing kiss. My God, I could spend the rest of my life kissing her. The taste of her takes me somewhere new, somewhere exciting that I adore.
“This has been the best night of my life,” I let her know as we pull apart ever so slightly. “I never want it to end.”
“Well, just because we’re going back to the apartment, it doesn’t mean the night has to end now, does it?”
She shoots me a seductive wink, letting me know exactly what she means, which has me on fire with desire instantly. I can’t wait to get ahold of Michelle in that dress and to do all the things I wanted to do to her in the middle of that store. I don’t know how I resisted her in the changing rooms, but now I don’t need to worry about it. Now, I can live out every fantasy.
“Then what are we still doing here outside?” I laugh. “Let’s get back to the apartment right away and have dessert.”
“Ooh, I don’t know,” she teases playfully. “I might be full after all of that ice cream. They really did give me loads…”
But as I tug on her arm, she comes willingly, and we both end up giddily racing through the streets like teenagers in the throes of first love and lust. I honestly do feel like as much as Michelle is getting the life that she wants and is blooming into the flower she truly is, she’s bringing me out of my shell too. I’m becoming the person I always wanted to be. I’m softer than I thought I was, with a more open heart, which I don’t think is a bad thing at all. I’m also capable of lots I didn’t think I could be. I would love to continue on with this journey with her for as long as I can, until she’s had enough of me. I kinda need this too.
“Well, here we are.” Michelle unlocks the door and crashes inside the apartment. “Home, sweet home. What are you going to do about it, huh? You finally have me alone at last, and it’s date night, so what happens next?”
“Oh, Michelle,” I growl back. “You are about to find out. I’ve been wanting to get my hands on you all night long.”
I grab her hard and kiss her immediately. I press her up against the wall with my fingers knotted up in her hair, the desire flowing hard and fast through my body. Moans fly out of Michelle’s lips and vibrate in my mouth, sending lightning bolts of pleasure crashing all the way through me. I hook my eager fingers under the hemline of her dress and trace my fingers all over her soft, supple thighs. She presses her foot up against the wall and parts her legs for me, needing me to take her.
My fingers graze over her panties first. I stroke the material, never getting close enough to her core to give her any satisfaction, but enough to tease her and drive her insane. Michelle screams and cries out for more. I can tell that she’s wanted me all evening, too, which only intensifies the pleasure between us. We’re both on fire, and I love it.
“Not here,” I groan as I whip her from her feet and wrap her around me. “This has been date night. I’m going to treat you like the princess you really are. I’ll carry you to bed and make sweet, passionate love to you there.”
At first, I panic about the use of the L word. I didn’t mean it like that, but thankfully, Michelle doesn’t seem to notice. Her eyes are twinkling and sparkling too much with desire to get lost in any fear about misspoken words.
“You will?” She giggles and squeals with delight. “Oh, I like the sound of that. I feel like a real lady.”
I’m going to spend the whole night, or until we crash out to sleep, anyway, making her feel phenomenal. I want Michelle to absolutely lose her shit over me. I want to corrupt her, to crush her with bliss, to see her gorgeous face contorted in pleasure as the orgasm rockets through her body. I don’t even care if I experience heaven myself, although I know with Michelle, that’s a guarantee, but tonight is all about her and making her feel everything. Mmm, I just can’t wait.
But I can’t fall for her any more than I already have. As long as I don’t get carried away and really fall in love with her, then I’ll hopefully be okay when everything falls apart and my life crashes down around me. I want to be able to pick myself up to at least try to find happiness again… even if I can’t ever imagine it being as good with anyone else like it is with Michelle.