Chapter 36
Chapter Thirty-Six
Tori
Seven months later.
The universe is punishing me for whatever I did in a past life, I’m sure of it. What drew me to that conclusion? Well, Noah showing up unannounced this morning at Jack and Ria’s lake house, when I was informed by Harry that he was very much deployed.
Just when I think I’ve healed a little and got my feelings under control, boom, there he is.
When he walked into the kitchen, I dropped the dish I was washing in the sink and cracked it.
Noah seemed to find the whole thing amusing and has been toying with me all day. Glancing over when he thinks no one is looking but the truth is, I was looking. Every possible moment there is. I am staring back at Noah Jones, despite my protests and our promise to just stay friends. I want him.
But things between us are… weird. Is that the word?
I can’t explain it. It’s like we have forgotten how to be around each other.
Our easy banter and effortless conversations have disappeared, and now all that’s left is awkwardness and tension so thick it stifles the air.
I know we need to talk, but this weekend isn’t the one.
We just need to keep up appearances and act as if we haven’t been hooking up in secret and don’t harbor feelings for one another. Yeah, no biggy. We can do this.
Jack has fired up the BBQ, and the guys are pitching in.
Swigging beer from his bottle, shirt off, sunglasses on, Noah is looking unfairly hot, and when his niece, Elle, runs into his arms, and he hoists her up, giving her the sweetest kiss to her little button nose, I melt into the lawn chair I’m in.
I take a sip of my beer to cool myself down.
How the heck am I going to get through this weekend?
I stand, needing to get as far away from Noah as possible. I’m wearing an emerald string bikini and jean shorts, and even though his eyes are hidden behind Ray Ban sunglasses, I can feel the heat of his gaze.
“I’m going to get more beer. Does anyone want one?” Everyone raises a hand, and I chuckle. “Okay, I’ll bring a cart full out.”
I make my way across the decking and up the steps to the lake house.
The high ceilings, the wooden beams, and big windows make the place feel so spacious and calming.
I can see why Jack and Ria decided to move out here.
It’s beautiful. I head to the pantry where a tall drinks fridge stands, and open the door, feeling instant relief when the cool air hits my hot skin.
I pluck out two beer bottles, mentally counting how many I need, when a voice has me startled.
“Need a hand.” I whip my head so fast to see Noah standing in the doorway. I lose control of my movements, and the bottles slip from my fingers and fall to the floor,crashing beside my feet, the glass shattering and cold beer splashes up my bare legs and I scream in surprise.
I bend down and pick up the broken glass.
“Be careful,” Noah commands, which only startles me more and my thumb slices across the broken glass with a sharp sting.
“Ouch.” I wince, pushing my thumb into my mouth, the taste of copper hitting my tongue as I squeeze my eyes shut.
I’m lifted and placed on the countertop in the pantry with ease, and I open my eyes to be met with Noah just inches from me.
“Let me look.” “It’s fine. It’s just a scratch.”
“Tori, stop being stubborn. Let me look,” he asks with concern in his tone.
“Noah, stop fussing, I’m fine,” I stress.
“Victoria.” I cave at the use of my full name, holding it out for him to see. Blood trickles down it, and it’s clear it’s more than just a scratch.
“Don’t move.” He swiftly leaves, returning with a big red box marked first aid.
“Thankfully, my sister is always prepared for any and all accidents,” Noah jokes as he rifles through the box, taking out sterile wipes and a box of band aids.
“You sure are clumsy today,” he teases, and I give him a look that says, ‘yeah, and you know why’.
He makes me nervous.
He carefully takes my hand and places a wipe against my cut with a small amount of pressure. I hiss at the sting.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m just trying to stop the bleeding.
” I nod, our eyes meet, and for a split second, I forget to breathe.
Just one look into his deep blue eyes, and I am pulled back into a space where it feels like only he and I exist. A place where I forget all the reasons I told myself this couldn’t work.
A place where my feelings of guilt and betrayal don’t exist, a place that feels safe, a place that feels like home.
He takes a band aid out and tears it open, removing the wipe and wrapping the band aid around my thumb. He keeps my hand in his, and my eyes fall to where they meet; to where the pad of his thumb dusts over the palm of my hand. He presses his forehead to mine and lets out a slow breath.
“I miss you,” he says so softly I almost miss it.
I want to repeat his words back to him because I miss him too, but they die on my tongue.
“I can’t stop thinking about you.” He tucks a stray hair behind my ear, moving closer so we are only a breath apart.
“Noah, I…” His warm hand cupping my cheek sends shivers all over my body, and my legs widen on instinct.
“Tell me you miss me too, Tor.” I swallow hard, trying to pluck up the courage to say how I feel, but fear stops me. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep falling into his arms. “Noah, we’re just friends now,” I say but the words taste bitter.
“Darlin’, if we’re just friends, then I shouldn’t know the way you taste. Or the way you feel beneath me. We’re more than friends, Tor…” His lips brush lightly against mine and my eyes flutter closed in anticipation for more because, despite what my words say, my body wants him. Needs him.
“Always have been…” His hand weaves into my hair, and I exhale, licking my lips, my heart and body thrumming with need. “And always will be.”
I lean in slowly, yearning for his touch, but our intense moment is broken when someone yells my name.
“Tori, did you find the beers?” Ria calls out. Noah jumps back, creating distance between us just as Ria appears in the doorway of the pantry. Her eyes dart from the broken glass and spilled beer on me, on the countertop beside the first aid box. “Oh my god, what happened?”
“Noah startled me, and I dropped the beers. I cut my thumb.” I hold it up as if to prove my story.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, it, it was just a scratch,” I stammer.
“Let me get a broom and a mop.” Ria leaves, and I sag in relief. That was close, too close.
I wasn’t wrong; the rest of the day was hard. Being around Noah and pretending everything is fine, pretending I don’t want to be with him, to be able to sit in his lap the way Gabby sits in Brad’s, or have him kiss me so freely, like Jack does with Ria, is a new type of torture.
Jack and Ria’s girls are asleep, tucked up in bed, and Jack has the baby monitor balanced on his knee. We’ve lit a fire pit, and for the past few hours we have shared stories, played card games, and we girls have shared a bottle of wine.
“Oh my god, I love this song.” Ali declares, waving her wine glass above her head as she proceeds to hum along to it.
When my brother joins in, everyone turns to him. “What?” Harry exclaims, wide eyed. “Can’t a man love a bit of Dolly Parton?”
“I forgot how much you loved Dolly Parton. When we were kids, we’d put on shows, and Harry would always sing lead.”
“You did what?” Ali giggles.
“Yeah, he’d hit all the high notes too, didn’t you, Harry? Well, you know, until his voice broke.” Harry gives me a death stare, and I grimace.
Jack throws his head back and belly laughs, and Harry gives him a stink eye.
“Really, twinkle toes, you of all people are going to laugh at me for enjoying the arts. How’s ballet class going?
Have you managed to get into second position yet?
” Jack immediately stops laughing and stares at him, and then it’s Brad and Noah’s turn to fall into a fit of laughter, and then we all join in.
I wipe tears that roll down my cheeks. God it feels good to laugh.
“Cheers for sharing that private information, little sis,” Harry says through gritted teeth. I lift my wine glass. “Anytime, big bro.” I bring my glass to my lips, and my eyes lock with Noah’s.
“Aww, baby, don’t worry, I still want you and think you are big and manly,” Ali says, stroking Harry’s face, and then pressing a kiss to his mouth. I scrunch my nose up in fake disgust and cover my eyes with my hand.
“Get a room,” I joke.
“Great idea,” Harry declares, and in one quick motion, he’s up on his feet, passing Ali's wine glass to me and tossing her over his shoulder before running up towards the house. She shrieks and giggles and a pang of jealousy hits me. I want that.
“The kids, Harry,” Jack shouts. “You wake them, you take them.”
“Don’t worry, I’m going to gag her,” he calls back, and then he’s gone.
“I’m so glad our room isn’t next to theirs,” Brad mumbles.
“I think we might call it a night too, guys,” Ria says, stretching as she stands.
“Yeah, me too. It’s been a long day.” I yawn, avoid looking at Noah, and wave goodnight to Brad and Gabby. Then follow Jack and Ria up to the house and say good night to them as they head to the main bedroom downstairs.
I take the dark wooden stairs, smiling as I look at all the family photos from over the years that adorn the walls.
I find my room at the end of the hall, hurrying past Harry and Ali’s room, doing my best to ignore the muffled moans coming from their side of the wall, and when I close my bedroom door, I realize we do indeed share a wall.
Good job I brought earplugs.