Chapter 54
Chapter
Fifty-Four
My sleep was restless. It felt like every few minutes I woke up from my dreams. Everything felt chaotic, and I was in such pain that I stopped trying after a few hours. Getting into the shower, I washed off and went through the motions. I grabbed my glasses before heading out of my childhood room.
When I stepped out into the hall, the house was silent.
I quietly made my way to my dad’s study.
I was deep in a book I’d already read when Dad opened the door.
Looking up, he gave me a sad smile. He shut the door behind him and sat on the couch opposite me.
Rubbing his temples, he let out a deep sigh.
“I see you had a rough night.”
Nodding, I closed the book and set it on the table between us. “I kept having dreams or nightmares. I’m not sure. It felt like I was waking up every five minutes, even though it wasn’t. I also didn’t land back down until two. I hadn’t realized I kept him up that long.”
My heart felt as if it were in a vice grip. Everything hurt. We’d never not touched each other for this long. At least, not to my memory. He’d had seven months of my absence.
“He stays up anyway. Don’t worry about him. Kayla isn’t the greatest sleeper, so it’s been a struggle.”
I sucked in a breath. “Kayla? He actually…he named our daughter Kayla.”
Dad’s eyes widened. “Did you guys not talk last night?”
Slowly, I shook my head. “I couldn’t. I felt like anything I said would only make things worse without knowing everything.
” Dad frowned, but I continued. “I’d end up putting my foot in my mouth if I said something that I didn’t realize was a trigger for him.
He told me…” My eyes glazed over. “He told me he didn’t hate me, but the pain in his eyes says differently. ”
Sitting back on the couch, he crossed his arms over his chest. “Honestly, I don’t know if I could be half as strong as that boy. I know eventually it will be as though you never left. There isn’t a doubt in my mind, but it might take some time and a fair bit of apologizing.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know if I should tell you.” I started to argue, but he put up his hand.
“I’m serious, Marcus. What has happened to Colton, what has been done to him, is what I would consider unforgivable.
I know you weren’t in control. He knows that too, and it’s why he’s giving you a chance to even be near him. ”
I stood up, unable to stay seated, and paced behind the couch. “I don’t…I know I wasn’t there for seven months. His PCDHS…”
“…was horrible. At one point, he had an episode nearly every day. Luckily, both Laila and Eva were here to help. None of us could touch him since all of us are Alphas.”
My hands gripped the back of the couch as I leaned back and hung my head down. “Fuck.”
“It was up and down throughout the pregnancy. It’s gotten better, but honestly, I think he’s just stronger now. I don’t think he has been telling us he’s having an episode anymore.”
Shaking my head, I looked up at my dad. “What happened?”
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees before lacing his fingers together, using them as a platform for his chin.
“They drugged you for a little over a week while they took over your house. I think they thought they broke you then, but you fought back. Then you disappeared. That was from early February until May. We don’t know what happened or what they did to break you. But they did.”
My jaw locked, but I kept my mouth closed, listening.
“Part of me hopes you didn’t go through the pain I think you did. I know how much you love that little wolf. We all do. In order for them to break you so completely, I know it had to be something horrible.”
“Dad…”
He glared at me. “No, Marcus. You don’t get to dictate this. I’m not rushing through this. We are talking about months where the only thing keeping him together was the fact that you were still alive. Then, after you popped up in Fiji of all damn places, and you destroyed him.”
Before I could say anything, he continued. “They took apart around two years of your memories. Removed Colton, removed us, and embedded a love, adoration, and a want to create a family with Ebony. You fucked her, kissed her, and every time we had to watch as Colton broke down.”
I froze, staring at him. My entire body locked up as I tried to reason away what my dad was saying. There was nothing I could do but listen as the lines in his face grew deeper.
“That poor boy handled every single painful session. All while pregnant. Then, when he finally was not dealing with everything Kayla was throwing at him, he still was withering away. Sometimes, he had both the pain of the bond being betrayed and an episode at the same time. He endured all of it. All while trying to find you.”
Stepping back, I fell into one of the single chairs that were pushed up against a bookshelf. “No…”
“You came back into the States because I asked you to come to your mother’s birthday party.
Except that Ebony got it into your head that you were the reason you couldn’t have hatchlings.
She fed you the lines, and you ate them up.
You received four out of the five doses to break your mate bond.
Three of which were done willingly. You nearly broke the bond with your dragon, too. ”
“Stop!”
Dad stood up, roaring at me. “No, son! You wanted to know! You told her you loved her. Told everyone that she was your fated mate!”
I buried my face in my hands, pushing my glasses up.
“He kept breaking and trying to pick up the pieces when all he wanted to do was shatter for good. Yet he kept trying. When we found you, the way his eyes lit up. Except that the pain from you breaking the bond. The morsel of hope of getting you back died, and you could see it. The slump in his shoulders, how his feet dragged, the light disappearing as he well and truly gave up.”
“Please…” I begged my dad to stop.
He didn’t. “The only reason we got through to you was because I could reignite your dragon. Suddenly, everything you were told about your dragon dying, to cover up the fact that they were suppressing him, was wrong. We showed you the album from last year, but you still went back to her. Colton spoke to you through mind link, and finally, you started questioning things.”
I blinked, feeling my stomach turn. “I…came back?”
“You fought your way after being forced to take the fourth dose of the bond breaker and poison. Colton had us fly to you, and Beau barely caught you as you tumbled out of the sky. You would have died if she hadn’t caught you.
Colton was the reason we were there to grab you. He saved you. Despite everything.”
This was too much. My soul felt like it was cracking and shattering. Dad was angry, but his words justified his anger. I’d done the unthinkable. Even just thinking about it, I reached out and grabbed a trash can, throwing up only the water had when I got up this morning.
There was a knock on the door before it opened. I was bent over, my eyes closed, while my body shook violently. A hand touched my back, rubbing it softly. At first, I thought it was my mother, but when I opened my eyes, the look on Dad’s face made me know it wasn’t.
Turning my head, I caught a glimpse of the light blonde hair hanging down.
Coughing, I tried to move away from his touch, but he didn’t let me.
Leaning over the trash again, I threw up into it.
My skin crawled. I’d felt the need to strip my skin off simply from when I stopped her from attacking me on Christmas Eve.
“Ty, stand down.” His voice was soft, but it held an air of command to it.
“Colt…”
The hand on my back paused for a moment. “Do we need to have last night’s discussion again?”
“No.”
“Let your anger go, Ty. It’s not for you or anyone else to hold on to. I can handle it.” Colton’s hand continued to rub my back.
Dad looked like he was sucking on a lemon, and I would have laughed if I could. “I’m not happy about it.”
Colton snorted. “No one is. That’s fine. Go sulk. Go take a lap around the lair. Lash out again and you can kiss our races goodbye.”
“You have me beat…”
“Then I suggest you listen. I’ll handle this. Go.”
My dad was quiet for a moment before he did something I’d never seen him do.
He bared his neck to Colton before walking out of the second door.
He slammed it behind him, shaking the bookshelves.
I could even feel the back door slamming shut and him shifting way too close to the house for Mom not to give him shit for it later.
“Are you okay? Do you need me to get you some water?”
The command in his voice was gone. All that was left was softness. Turning his head, he squatted down like last night. This time, though, his eyes were worried.
“I felt you…”
“Don’t touch me.”
It didn’t come out as a command or even angry. It came out as a broken plea. I watched him purse his lips before his eyes fell. His hand never dropped, and didn’t stop its movement.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get here earlier. I knew he was getting riled up, but I was feeding Kayla. Your pain slammed into me, and I came down as quickly as I could.”
“Colton…did I…really?”
I don’t know why I was asking him. Not that I should hide it, but I’d never felt so dirty and felt such intense shame. Wrapped up in a sea of guilt in which I was drowning.
“Can I ask you a question first?”
My head rose, and he reached out with his other hand, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “Would you want Ebony to have sex with you?”
The question made me dry heave, and I leaned over the trash can, waiting, but nothing came out. There was nothing left in me, not even water. Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes back, trying to calm the steady stream of tears.
“Never. Not before you. Not after you. Never, Colton.”
He nodded. “I believe you.”
I looked up at him, confused.
“Let me get you some water. Start off with that. You need to eat something, though. You skipped dinner last night, and you were unconscious for several days before that. Your body is going to collapse.”
Part of me wanted to tell him it was the pot calling the kettle black when the realization slammed into me so hard I leaned between my legs back over the trash can.
Ebony and I, everything we did was nonconsensual.
She forced me, using poison and magic, and that’s what Colton was acknowledging. It tore me in half.
I wanted to hold him. I needed to wrap my arms around him. Moving the trash can away, I stood up to go after him, but the room spun and I passed out before I even hit the floor.