24. Kace
24
KACE
As the weeks passed by, from the scorching heat of summer to the beginning of autumn, Nevin grew bigger and bigger, and I couldn’t have loved him more.
We were having a little boy. We’d been diligently going to doctor’s appointments and check-ups and taking Lamaze classes together—anything we could do to get Nevin ready to have this baby. I knew Nev was a little scared, but he was also excited, and so was I.
Sevren and Pike had jumped in, feet-first, to help me turn the spare room into a nursery whenever we had time, while Pike’s mate Phoenix kept Nevin company. Nevin fell head-over-heels in love with Phoenix’s little boy, Griffon, and seeing them together? Damn.
I couldn’t wait until our son was born and Nevin could pour his love and adoration into that pup. He was going to be such a good dad. I only hoped I could make them both proud.
Today, I was painting the room. Nevin had picked out a dusky shade of blue, and we’d agreed on white trim, though that would come after. I’d already laid down all the tarps so that I wouldn’t drip all over the floor.
I tended to be a little messy when it came to crafty things like this—the splattered hardwood in my laundry room told the tale. Pike had laughed at me for days, but we’d agreed that it looked pretty cool and decided to keep it. That room had character now.
I didn’t want the nursery to look messy, though, so tarps it was.
As I rolled the new blue paint over the white-washed walls, Nevin sat cross-legged just outside in the hallway. He’d wanted to help me paint, but I didn’t want him breathing in the fumes. I wasn’t sure if it was bad for the baby or not.
I didn’t have to do too much convincing, thankfully. He agreed that our son’s health was more important than helping with the nursery. I opened the windows just in case.
We chatted for awhile, before I asked the question that’d been on my mind all day. “So, have you thought of any names? We’re getting closer and closer to our due date, and we haven’t really talked about it. Not since we learned the baby’s gender, anyway.”
I turned to him, curious to what his reaction would be. Surely he had a list written down somewhere, or tucked away inside his mind. I had a few names I’d been entertaining for the past couple of weeks; I was simply waiting for the right time to bring it up in conversation.
What I didn’t expect was for sadness to shutter across Nevin’s beautiful face, or for him to loosely wrap his arms around himself, like he needed a hug that I wasn’t there to give him. His expression softening, he nodded slowly.
“When I was younger, I used to borrow baby name books from the local library all the time. I’ve wanted children since before I was old enough to know my place as an Omega, and I’d often daydream about little boys and girls with blond hair and blue eyes, just like me.”
He smiled, but it was wistful. “Of course, I was too young to have kids at that time, so I settled for picking out names for the barn cats instead. Every spring, we’d have at least two litters of kittens, and I’d name every single one of them. I spent my mornings and my evenings in the barn, playing with the babies, imagining they were my own. I miss them.”
The paint roller hung suspended in mid-air as I stared at my mate, who suddenly seemed so damn sad. All I wanted to do was to wrap him up in my arms and hug all of his broken pieces back together again, but I knew better than to think it was that easy.
Time would heal most wounds, I knew, but he’d been through so much in his life that it would take years of love and compassion before he truly found his happiness. That was okay. I would be with him, by his side, every day, every step of the way.
Because I loved him.
“What happened to them?” I asked.
“When Rex chose me as his Omega when I turned eighteen, I left my father’s homestead, and the barn cats, behind. Rex wasn’t a big fan of pets, so…” He shrugged. “It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Kace.” Our eyes met, and his brow furrowed. “Please. Just let it go.”
I swallowed hard, but nodded. “Okay, honey.”
It damn near killed me to turn away and start painting again, to leave Nevin bathed in silence, but he needed space and I needed to respect that. The last thing I wanted was for him to run away from me. I wanted to be his safe haven, the person he could go to when life became too much. His lighthouse in the darkness.
Thankfully, he wasn’t quiet for too long. “Um… But I was thinking, back to the names. Since we’re having a boy, maybe you’d be okay with the name Zechariah?” He hesitated, then added, “That was my brother’s name. We called him Zee.”
“The one who passed away?” I asked gently.
A shadow fell over Nevin’s face as he nodded. “Yeah.”
“Can I ask what happened? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“No, it’s okay,” he murmured. “There was an accident when we were pups. We were playing together outside one winter, seeing who could make the biggest snowman. Zee must’ve gotten bored of it, because he went over to the pond and started poking at the ice with a big stick. I don’t remember much, because I was young, but he kept trying to convince me to go out on the pond. I was too scared. I told him it wasn’t safe. So he went out onto the ice to prove to me that it was, but it cracked and he fell in.”
He shivered, his fingers flexing into his palms. “He was frantic, crying for me to help him, but I was too young and too small to do anything. I tried to fish him out with that big stick, but I wasn’t strong enough. By the time I ran up to the house and got Dad, Zee had drowned.” He dropped his head, looking down at his hands.
My heart ached for my mate. The idea of losing any of my siblings tore a hole through me. I loved them so much, and to lose his brother so young? “Damn, Nev. I’m so sorry. How old were you?” I asked gently.
“I was nine and Zee was twelve,” he said. “After that, my dad went into a deep depression and my life became very lonely. That’s when I started hanging out with the barn cats. They became my best friends. Pretty pathetic, huh?”
“Oh, honey.” I set the paint roller down and went over to Nevin, dropping to my knees beside him. Brushing blond bangs away from his face with the backs of my knuckles, I pressed a kiss to his forehead, lingering there for a moment. “I’m sorry. You’ve been through so much, and yet you’re still so damn strong.”
“I don’t feel it,” he whispered.
“Well, you are.” I pulled back and placed a hand on Nevin’s swollen belly. “I think Zechariah is a wonderful name, Nev, and I’d be honored to name our son after your brother. Baby Zee. It has a ring to it, doesn’t it?”
Tears brimmed in Nevin’s blue eyes, right before he threw his arms around my neck, sending us both toppling to the floor. He clung to me like his life depended on it, while I gently hushed him and rubbed his back. “Everything’s gonna be okay. You’ll see.”