23. Nevin
23
NEVIN
I woke before Kace.
For awhile, I just laid there and watched him slumber on. His dark hair sleep-tousled and his handsome face lax, he was oblivious to the thoughts swirling round and round my head.I listened to the birds sing their morning minstrel while my mind played snippets of the past few months of joy and love—and that one blip of fear that had been driving me crazy for two weeks.
The Omega from my pack, the one at the mall. Had she kept my secret? Or had she told Rex that I was still very much alive? If she did, did Rex even care? Or did I really mean so little to him that I was nothing more than the trash he took out months ago. Maybe I was worrying myself sick for nothing, but deep down, I was afraid. I was scared that that fateful encounter with Kerri would come back to haunt me.
Truth was, I never told Kace what happened that day. I'd sworn Xan to secrecy about it too. I didn't want my Alpha to worry for nothing. Because it was probably nothing. Why would Rex want me back when I'd failed him, time and time again? Why would he even bother going through the work of hunting me down when he could just handpick another fresh young Omega from his harem, an Omega who would happily bear him strong Alpha progeny.
An Omega without the mental and emotional baggage of being barren.
I was worrying for nothing. I meant nothing to Rex Hagan. I never had.
Breathing in deeply, I held it to the count of three, then slowly exhaled. As I did, I closed my eyes and honed in on the sound of Kace's heavy breathing. Slow and deep and peaceful. It made me wish I was still asleep.
My lashes fluttered as I gazed at my mate, studying him. How beautiful he was to me, even though he was snoring and there were pressure marks on his cheek and drool bubbling at the corner of his lips. I didn't know what I did to deserve an Alpha like Kace, or to miraculously be carrying his child, but I was so damn thankful.
I blinked tears away as Kace stirred with a soft sigh. "Nev?" His voice was roughened from sleep, but his hazel eyes were suddenly locked on me, searching my face. "You okay, honey?"
"Yeah," I whispered back. "I'm fine. Just... Thinking."
"About the past?"
"Yeah." It wasn't technically a lie, after all.
"Come here, baby." He reached out his arms. I rolled into his warm embrace. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in the soft cedar of his scent as I nestled in close. For a long time, I held onto him and he held onto me, and time seemed to stand still—although the birds outside didn't quite get the memo.
Then, softly, "Are you nervous for today?" Kace asked.
"Um…” I bit down on my bottom lip, worrying it between my teeth. "What's today?"
He chuckled and kissed my forehead, then pulled back enough that we could look into each other's eyes. "We're doing dinner and game night at Mom's place tonight, remember? A bunch of pack members will be there."
"Oh." I groaned softly, suddenly remembering what I'd definitely forgotten about. I'd been so worried about my past catching up with me that I'd completely spaced the pack activities Gracie had planned for this weekend.
"I forgot," I admitted with a sheepish smile. "Pregnancy brain, but yeah, now that you mention it, I am nervous." Even months later, being around a lot of other shifters made me antsy. It wasn't so bad when it was just Kace and his family, but when the entire pack got involved? I wasn’t as comfortable.
"You'll be just fine," Kace assured me, then leaned in for a kiss, which I happily gave back.
Later that evening, we drove over to Kace's mom's place. It was a blue two-story ranch with a huge pole-barn on wooded land that she'd designated pack territory. Off the back-half of her house, she'd built her veterinary clinic, so that she could practice right out of her backyard. It was pretty ingenious, if you asked me.
Still, my stomach did a somersault when I saw how many cars were already parked on the lawn outside. So many people…
"Do we have to?" I squeaked out, rubbing at my belly.
"Yes," he replied with a smile. "You'll feel better once we go inside. C'mon."
I followed him through the yard and up the driveway. We went in through the open garage door. There was a ping-pong table set up out there, and a bunch of guys were gathered around playing, red Solo cups in hand and the radio playing something twangy. They greeted us with soft whoops, clapping Kace on the back in greeting. Slipping past them, he led me up two steps and into the house.
I breathed in and immediately, my mouth began to water. Whatever she was cooking smelled amazing . It looked like everyone brought some kind of side, too, because there were tinfoil-covered casserole dishes and plates of desserts on a card table near the dining room.
A couple of three-year-old twins were racing around the table, squealing and laughing, while their Omega father hovered in the doorway, meekly calling after them to be careful. Chaotic, but cute.
"Hey, look what the cat dragged in," came a familiar voice. "About time you two showed up."
"Bite me," Kace joked, but threw his arm around his friend Pike's shoulder in a hug. Beside him, Pike’s coyote shifter Omega stood, looking utterly exhausted. His hair, once probably a vivid blue, was faded and the roots had grown out, and he had bags beneath his eyes, but he was smiling. No doubt because of the tiny bundle wrapped in his arms.
Kace smiled brightly. "Hey, Phoenix. Aww, and you brought the little one. Let me see."
I followed his lead and sidled a little closer, to get a better look at Phoenix's baby. My heart squeezed at the sight of her round face and rosy cheeks, and the tuft of blond hair sticking up from the top of her head.
"She's beautiful," I murmured, glancing up at Phoenix. "What's her name?"
"Kestrel," he said. “We brought Griffon, too, but Quinn scooped him up the moment we got here.” He laughed softly, but he looked a little relieved. “I think she knows I’m running on fumes. Kess is a very fussy baby. She has colic and we have to give her special formula, and Griffon wasn’t too pleased about having a little sister, so he’s been exceptionally grumpy, too. It’s been a rough couple of months, to say the least.”
Pike leaned in and wrapped his arm around Phoenix’s waist. “But we’re doing our best, aren’t we, babe?”
“We are,” Phoenix agreed. “And they’re so worth it. I just long for the day when I can actually sleep more than three hours straight. God, I miss sleep…”
“Me too,” Pike agreed with a laugh. “But a dad’s gotta do what a dad’s gotta do, and we’re doing it. Just think, maybe in a year or two, we’ll decide to have another.” He winked at his mate, and Phoenix groaned—loudly.
“I think two is enough, don’t you? One for you, one for me. There’ll never be the odd one out when they play together.”
“Two is a good number,” I agreed, and Phoenix shot me a small smile. His gaze dropped to the swell of my stomach before lifting back up. My heart fluttered in my chest at the knowing look he gave me.
He shifted the baby in his arms so that he could offer me a hand. “I’m Phoenix Noble, by the way,” he said, then shot a look at his mate. “Since we weren’t properly introduced.”
“Alphas, am I right?” I giggled. “I’m Nevin,” I replied, giving his hand a gentle shake.
“When are you due?” he asked me.
“Early February.” I bit my lip and rested a hand atop my tummy.
“That’s exciting.”
“Yeah, and a bit scary,” I admitted. “But this is what I’ve always wanted. I just never thought it would happen to me.” A lump formed in my throat at the thoughts that tried to wedge their way in, but I swallowed them down and shook it off best I could, putting on a big smile instead. “But here we are.”
“Well, congratulations,” Phoenix said, beaming at me. “We’ll have to arrange play-dates when the pups are older.”
Happiness and warmth bubbled through me. Maybe Phoenix could become another friend? I could use more friends. “I’d love that. Really.”
“Kace!” Gracie’s voice rang out. “Come in here and give your mother a hug.”
Kace laughed and looped his arm around my waist. “Sorry. It seems we’ve been beckoned,” he said before leading me towards the kitchen, where his mother was no doubt slaving away over a hot stove.
“Good luck,” Pike joked, saluting him.
I gave the pair a wave and followed along after my mate.
Several people loitered in the kitchen, either helping Gracie cook or simply just hanging around to chatter. They smiled brightly at us as we walked in.
Kace’s mom wore a cute maroon sweatsuit that looked more appropriate for jogging than cooking a pack meal, with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of slippers on her feet. Over the top of that was a stained apron with a cartoon spatula on it that said “Flip Me Baby, One More Time.”
When she saw us, her smile widened. She held out her arms. “There’s my boy. C’mere, honey.”
Kace dwarfed her, wrapping her up in his arms in a tight squeeze until she was laughing. When they parted, Gracie turned to me, raising her brows expectantly. “Your turn, Nevin. You’re part of the family now, after all. Carrying my sweet grandbaby. You get a hug, too.”
My face burned as everyone turned to look at me, but Kace’s gentle nudge had me tottering towards Gracie. Her strong Alpha energy was in direct contrast with her gentle embrace as she hugged me close. She smelled of roast beef and rosemary, and a little like Kace’s aftershave.
“See?” she teased when she finally let me go. “That wasn’t so bad. Better get used to it. I want that baby to grow up seeing its daddies getting their fair share of love, too. That’s how we do things in this family.”
“I know,” I murmured, smiling at her. “It’s what I love about you guys. You love with your whole heart.”
She reached out and ruffled my hair. “That we do, sweetheart. That we do.”
After an amazing feast, everyone gathered around the various tables to play card games and board games that were set up. I settled in at a card table with Kace, Pike and Phoenix, and we’d just started playing Yahtzee when suddenly, I felt a strange jolt in my stomach.
It took my breath away.
I went still as I realized… That was the baby. The baby just kicked. I’d felt flutters before, but this… This was real. Emotion clogged my throat, choking me as I jumped to my feet and mumbled an excuse, then fled down the hallway. Shutting myself in the bathroom, I sank down on the closed toilet lid, buried my face in my hands, and began to cry.
It was real. It was really happening. I cradled my stomach in my hands and let the tears flow free. I was finally going to have a baby of my own, to love and to hold, after all these years of pain and loss.
There was a knock on the door. I knew it was Kace before he ever said a word. “Nev? Honey? Are you okay?”
I stood and opened the door, staring up at him with teary eyes. “I… Yes? No? I don’t know,” I uttered, my voice cracking. “I-I felt the baby kick.”
His brow furrowed. “But that should be a happy moment. Something to celebrate, right?”
My lower lip wobbled as more tears spilled free. “You don’t understand,” I whimpered. “I’ve wanted a baby for so long, and every time I failed to conceive there were always repercussions. I went through so much shit, so much fucking abuse at their hands, and then to deal with the false pregnancies and to be around all the other Omegas carrying babies when my stupid body wouldn’t let me have one? It was torture, Kace! It was?—”
I gasped as the baby chose that moment to kick again. I quickly grabbed Kace’s hand and pressed it to the spot. “Feel?” I whispered, almost dizzy. His expression sharpened as he focused, pressing his fingers gently into my stomach, and when he was rewarded with another small nudge, his smile took my breath away. It extinguished my fears and lit up my entire world.
“Love truly is magic,” I said.
“It is.” Kace knelt and framed my belly with both of his big hands before kissing the space in between. My eyes swam with fresh tears as I tugged on his hair, needing him closer. He straightened and kissed me, and I crushed my lips to his on a soft whimper.
“I love you so much,” I whispered when we broke apart.
“I love you, too, Nevin. To the moon and back.” Kace’s hazel eyes glittered with truth, and my heart ached with how full it was.
Together, we went back out to be with the rest of the pack, who were still playing games, most of them oblivious to what had just happened. Most of them. Kace’s sisters were looking right at us. Tasha’s head was cocked to one side, and Quinn had her arms crossed over her chest. They exchanged a look, then started towards us.
“Okay, spill. What just happened,” Quinn all but demanded to know, but before Kace could open his mouth, I spoke instead.
“I felt the baby kick for the first time and it… It took me by surprise. I needed a moment,” I told her. “That’s all.” I rubbed my stomach, remembering the light touches of my little one’s feet, and smiled. They would only get stronger as time went on, but right now, it felt a bit like magic. “You wanna feel?”
Quinn’s eyes lit up. “Is it happening right now?”
“It’s pretty frequent,” I told her.
The next time it happened, I yipped and both sisters gathered around to feel the baby kick. It really, truly felt like I finally had a family. After, Xan brought me a big bowl of cherry crumble and I was on cloud nine.
This was real. This was mine, and I was never letting it go, Rex be damned.