Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Carly
It’s Tuesday night, and I’m sitting in my usual seat in Margie and Cornelia's apartment for ladies’ wine night. Bray came over again last night after Ava fell asleep. We made love until he had to leave for his night shift.
He keeps coming by in the mornings after work.
The man never seems to sleep. I teased him that he can’t live on sex and work alone.
He told me, as the physician in the relationship, that he absolutely could.
But I saw the bags under his eyes. Something has to give.
Maybe in another week, when school starts, we can find a better rhythm.
“Why do you have little heart eyes?” Piper asks.
I look over at her from where she’s sitting by Margie.
“Huh?” I answer, pretending I’m oblivious.
She rolls her eyes. “You have that dreamy, far-off look on your face. I’d recognize it anywhere because I watched Jocelyn doing that for months.”
Jocelyn chuckles. “Damn, was I that obvious?”
Cornelia reaches over and pats her leg. “Sweetheart, you practically had dick prints on your face.”
“Aunt Cornelia!” Piper yelps as her cheeks turn red.
“Uh, I don’t think that’s…a thing,” Roxy says and then purses her lips as if contemplating it. “Maybe.”
Cam rolls her eyes. She just got home yesterday from her honeymoon. “Out with it, Carly. Every woman here is onto you two.” She knows we kissed, but we never got into all the details of what happened in Italy.
Sighing, I look around at my friends. I can’t continue keeping this from them all. I might as well use this moment to confide in them. “Fine, we…sort of hooked up in Italy. And we’ve been continuing to hook up, like every night.”
Cam raises an eyebrow and smirks. Clearly, based on our brief conversation, she had her suspicions. I roll my eyes.
Roxy giggles. “I knew it! About damn time. You two have had the longest foreplay in the history of foreplay.”
I glare at her. “I highly doubt that. And it wasn’t foreplay. We just…we were friends, truly. It’s just…something changed.”
“Yeah, a dick in the hole will do that to you,” Margie quips.
Piper groans. “Seriously?”
Margie gives her a pointed look. “You ought to know. Kasen’s dick is enough dick for two ladies.”
Piper buries her face in her hands and shakes her head.
Cam and Roxy bust out laughing, and Jocelyn grins.
Margie looks at Jocelyn. “You have no room to talk.”
Jocelyn blushes and shrugs.
Everyone’s attention turns back to me. “Uh, no way. I’m not talking about Bray’s dick,” I state emphatically.
Margie waves me off. “You’re a killjoy. Now, at least tell us how you ended up finally sealing the deal.”
I nearly choke on my wine. I pat my chest and set the glass down. “We’re testing the waters,” I start and then pause before continuing. “But…it honestly feels more like a dam was broken, and everything that’s been holding us back is rushing downstream.”
“Is that a good thing?” Roxy asks.
I look over at her and nod. “After Chad, I…didn’t think I’d ever be with another man. I certainly never imagined acting on my crush with Bray. I thought we were friend-zoned forever. But…it feels natural now. It feels right. I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”
“And he feels the same?” Margie asks.
I nod and shrug at the same time. God, does he not? Everything he’s said and done says he feels the same, but I haven’t told him exactly how I feel. I haven’t said I’m in love with him.
“Bray seems to have a complicated relationship with…relationships.” Cornelia says the quiet part out loud.
Sighing, I say, “Yes. He does. I learned something about his past, about a childhood friend. I think he’s afraid to fall in love.
I think he’s worried the person could disappear, and that scares him.
I don’t know. I’m just trying to spend time with him right now.
I know things will get crazier with school starting. It’s a lot.”
I feel like I’m blabbering on and not making sense because my head is all over the place.
We’ve been in this cocoon for several weeks now, and I’m worried about where things will go.
I think he wants to be with me and really try to make this work, but I also worry that he’ll get cold feet.
I know all too well that it’s hard to overcome the demons of our past.
“What about you?” Roxy asks.
I pause at her question. “What do you mean?”
“You had a…tough relationship with your ex. Are you ready for something serious?” she asks.
I bite the inside of my cheek. It’s as if she read my mind.
“I wasn’t for a long time, but then, after we all talked a few weeks back, I did some reflecting. I really do want to try again. But it’s different with Bray. I…am not trying with him; it’s easy. He’s like…being home.” I try to put words to my thoughts.
Piper claps her hands. “You’re in love,” she says, and everyone nods in agreement.
I blush.
“Are you going to tell him?” Jocelyn asks.
“Don’t tell him yet,” Cam interjects.
Roxy rolls her eyes. “Tell him when you are ready to tell him.”
“For crying out loud, let the woman make her own decisions,” Jessa says, and we all stop and stare at her. Jessa is normally the most soft-spoken of our crew. So, when she talks, we listen.
She waves our looks away with a motion of her hand. “You ladies need to let her breathe. This is a huge step for our Carly. Let her do it when she’s ready. Whenever that is, it will be the perfect time,” she adds as she gives me a warm smile.
I mouth, “Thank you.” And she nods.
“Fine. But we want details when this finally happens,” Cam says.
I laugh. “You guys are too much.” I open my mouth to say something else, but then I see Mr. Pickles hanging from a rope outside the window.
“Uh,” I start, and everyone’s gazes follow mine.
“Is that Mr. Pickles?” Jocelyn asks.
“Yep,” I answer as I walk over to where she’s sitting and open the window. I lean out and look up to see my daughter hanging out of the window. “Ava,” I hiss.
“Hi, Mom,” she says.
“Ava Maxwell! Get back inside! How many times do I have to tell you not to hang out of the windows?” I yell.
She rolls her eyes at me, and I’m five seconds away from marching up there and scolding her.
“Sorry! That’s my bad. I had to pee,” Hutch says as he leans out next to her and then glares at Ava, who has the audacity to laugh.
He grabs her, yanks Mr. Pickles back up, and tosses her over his giant shoulder, or at least I assume so because suddenly I only see her feet in midair. Then he leans back out and smiles.
“All good now. See you in an hour,” he yells as he slams the window closed.
I hear the shrieking laughter of my child, and I groan as I lean back in and close the window.
“Does anyone want a child?” I ask.
Roxy giggles. “Oh, come on, she’s not that bad.”
I roll my eyes at her. “She’s a pain in the ass when she wants to be.”
“Back to the issue at hand,” Jocelyn says. “Are you guys actually dating or just fucking?”
I plop back down in my chair and pour myself a large glass of wine. “What’s the difference?”
She gives me a pointed look. “Are you going out on dates?”
“Oh, uh, no?” I answer.
“That’s not an answer. That’s a question,” Cam says.
“No. OK. No. Because I don’t want Ava to know anything yet. So, he comes over after she goes to bed,” I blurt out.
“Oh, right. That complicates things, doesn’t it?” Cam says.
“What if we babysit? We could, like, take Ava out somewhere for a fun evening, and then you two could do your own thing,” Jocelyn suggests.
I purse my lips as I consider this. “It’s not a bad idea. I guess I can bring it up with Bray,” I agree.
“Great. That settles that,” she says.
“And Bray will figure out his shit. I mean, Hutch did, and we’re doing great,” Jocelyn adds.
“Same with Kasen,” Piper says.
“Well, thanks for the encouragement,” I say because I honestly don’t know what else to say. It’s so much more nuanced than I’m explaining. But I suppose all relationships are.
I’m grateful when Margie turns the conversation away from me and to the last book she read.
A deep conversation ensues about male main characters who are alphas.
I sit back, sip my wine, and think about Brayden.
I hope Piper and Jocelyn are right. I hope he can get over his demons.
I desperately want him to. I know I’m trying to get over mine.
I can’t imagine going back to being just friends, and I also can’t imagine life without him.