Chapter 9 Unwell
MAGDALENA
ELEVEN YEARS OLD
Anurse rolled me to a bench next to a willow tree in front of a big pond. The sunset painted everything in an orange-pink glow. Swans landed in the water, floating on it oh-so peacefully. With barely any strength in my legs, I moved to the bench.
“Magdalena.”
“Hmm?” I wasn’t sure how long she’d been there with me. I’d grown accustomed to going from silent trance to silent trance, hardly speaking, being lost in my own world, just remembering my times with Killian.
“Your parents will be here with Dr. Laurent in a minute, understood?” I nodded to fake being fine, but there was too much I didn’t remember. When was the last time I saw Mommy and Daddy?
“Are you going to be all right?”
I nodded again. No, I wouldn’t ever be all right, but I could tell she wanted me to be. “How long have I been in this … place??”
“A year, dear. Okay. There they are.” With no time to contemplate her answer, I turned to the side she was directing her attention.
Dad was carrying my sister and holding Mommy’s hand.
With the sunlight shining on them, it all looked like a dream.
I thought I would never see them again. They stopped when our gazes met.
My mom’s eyes were tearful, like mine, and her body was shaking.
I wanted to run to them, tell them how much I’d missed them, and hug them, but I was afraid I’d fall as soon as I got up and Dr. Laurent had already walked up to me. His palm squeezed my shoulder.
They wouldn’t know it, but I had just come out of yet another electrocution and drowning session. Those therapy sessions always drained and confused me. Dad pulled Mom toward me. Didn’t she want to see me? Little Ash ran into my arms and hugged me.
“Big Sister! We mish you.” After a year of isolation and torture, a hug from him made me devolve into weeping.
Trying to keep from completely crumbling, I smelled his hair, calming myself.
It smelled like home. My sister joined the hug, and Daddy stood in front of me, waiting.
Slowly, I stood, not too confident in my strength, and we hugged.
“My little angel,” he cooed, and pushed my hair back as my tears insisted on trailing down.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, baby?” Tears streamed down his cheeks too.
“Why am I here? C-can I go home now?” His brow furrowed and he glared at Dr. Laurent behind us.
“You were a little unwell, darling. We had no choice. The police and judges … they wouldn’t let us bring you home.
But yes. We are here to take you home.” Dad stepped to the side, opening the space for Mom and me to hug, but she didn’t come closer.
I looked at Dad, and he looked at her. She was so cautious when she finally approached me.
“I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” she asked.
“For whatever I did. I know you wouldn’t have put me in this place unless I did something horrible.
I’m sorry, Mommy. You don’t have to hug me if you don’t want.
I understand. I’m sorry.” She took me in her arms, and I crumbled on her shoulders.
“I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m s-so s-sorry. Please don’t stop loving me. Please”
Mommy was crying as she said, “You were unwell, baby. You have nothing to apologize about. Of course I want to hug you.”