Chapter 18 The Fire #2
“When I was your age, I didn’t have a mother that cared. This is my job, Magdalena. I’ll be damned before I allow you to lose yourself to that boy again. There are more important things in life than falling in love with a psychotic boy.”
“Oh yeah? Like what, Mom. Because I’ve done everything in your list. I’ve finished school, I’ve started a career like you said. And I still feel just as horrible as I did the day I tried to kill myself. It’s all I fucking think of doing, either that or finding him. I need him.”
She dried her hands. “No. You fucking don’t,” she said the words through her teeth and then soften her composure.
“I want a different life for you. I want you to really fucking live, not just be obsessed to some boy that will lock you up and get you pregnant. Write a book, travel the whole entire world, learn five other languages, I don’t know, run a fucking farm in the middle of Africa that’s only run by women.
Have pet elephants. Live a few years in different places.
I don’t care if you fuck around but live your mother fucking life!
” Why did I feel like this wasn’t about me?
“You don’t understand. We’ve never really spoken about it.
” I paused and she waited for me to speak.
“I failed him, Mom. He was my best friend, he was struggling. I knew he was and I did nothing about it.” The tears clogged my throat and nose.
Mom shook her head with tears filling her eyes.
“I’m not looking for him just so I can settle down and have children. That’s not even an option—”
“Bullshit. You are a healthy beautiful perfect woman—
“Mom! I’m looking for my only best friend. I need to apologize to him.”
“He’s your only best friend because you never let anyone in, Magdalena!” We paused then both turned to the sink again.
After a while Mom whispered, “You didn’t fail him. You were just a kid. His parents, teachers, and family failed him. You can even say that your dad and I failed him, but you weren’t responsible for him. We were.”
“Okay, well, it doesn’t matter because I stopped, okay? You saw that too, right? I haven’t been in Ireland for a while.”
“No, I did not see anything. You have your own paychecks to pay for everything now, so how would I know that you stopped? You never really talk to us, so how would I know?” She paused.
“Your success, your happiness, it’s everything.
It’s more important to me than your father, and you know that’s saying a lot.
I do not want you to let him take all of you because he doesn’t deserve it—”
“You don’t know that. Everyone just made the assumption that he was to blame, but obviously everything in Monaco was not out in the clear, right?” I paused again, almost glaring at her. “Or do you not remember what happened to me the last time I dared to give another boy a chance?”
She sucked her teeth, sighed, and shook her head. “You have my luck with men.”
“What are you talking about? Dad would set off a nuclear bomb if he even suspected for a minute that it would make you happy.”
For a few minutes, we focused on cleaning the last of the dishes. “I’m … I’m sorry, Mom. But you should know that I did stop and … I do want more. I want whatever it is that you and Dad have. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“I just want you to be happy, Magdalena, that’s all. This boy. Maybe he’s innocent, but it’s been decades. You’re not even the same person. They say everyone has three amazing loves in their lives. You’ve only had one, and it was so early. Maybe what you remember about it wasn’t even real.”
“I know.” By then, we were already drying our hands. Mom opened her arms and embraced me.
“I just need to know that you’re going to be fine. It’s all I worry about.”
“I’ll be fine, Mom. I promise.”
In the living room, Ember was opening yet another romance book.
She’d just finished some dark mafia romance book, Slaughtered Firefly by F.
King Hayes. I didn’t even know those existed and now she was starting what I thought was hilarious, some wolf shifter story, Goddess’ Grace by Margareta Stroom.
Mom was worried about me, but I wondered if she knew the smut Ember was reading.
Ashton was watching some silly alien comedy but I could hardly keep my eyes open.
“I’m a little tired. I think I’m gonna go to bed. ”
“Night, sis,” Ashton said.
“Bye, Magdalena,” Ember said, with a Spanish accent.
“Night, honey,” Mom said.
“Night.”
The sleep I struggled to crawl out of was heavy. Its comfort and the extraction of my stress and exhaustion felt too good to end, but something kept telling me I needed to wake up. The slamming of my heart insisted I wake. My coughing helped a little more.
“Magdalena?” It was a call from far away, desperate. What was happening? Mom kept calling me, then my brother.
“Ash?” I heard myself reply, and wrinkled my brow before I could even open my eyes.
“Ahhhhh!” The screeching scream fully woke me finally, but I couldn’t kick the confusion.
Why is my bedroom full of smoke? Nothing registered. Calmly, I stood and walked over to my bedroom door. I hissed at the burning of my palm by the doorknob. The smoke was coming from under. Wait. There’s smoke coming from under the door and the door is hot! Fire!
“Mami! Daddy!” I yelled as hard as I could.
“Magdalena! Help me! Get Mom!” yelled my brother.
“I’m trapped!” What can I do? What can I do? Mom’s room was right next to mine, I could climb over the balcony...
I turned to my right and on the other side of the sliding glass door, there he stood—Mael.
My blood rushed from my head. The gasp got stuck in my throat.
I’d taken my meds, so why was I hallucinating?
The smile that spread on his lips froze me.
With my heart drumming hard, I glanced at the wooden door in front of me which the heat was bending toward me.
In the background, my family kept screaming my name, calling me.
He rolled the glass door open and slowly walked in.
“Magdalena Michaelson …” His smile was the same, too wide, his hair just as bleach blonde, his eyes just as cold.
It couldn’t be. I killed him. You’re supposed to be dead, Mael.
“Gotcha.” He clicked his tongue and with his hand acting like a gun, and pretending to shoot me.
Then, still holding that smile, he winked at me, and pointed with both hands toward the balcony hanging over the backyard garden, the same one I stared at for weeks after he and his friends raped me.
“You have nowhere else to go. Trust me.”
This can’t be real. I’m dreaming a very dark nightmare.
The thick smoke burned my throat and eyes, but I still stepped away from him, preferring to die in a fire than to go anywhere near whatever he was.
I shook my head, grimacing at the sight of him, not wanting to face the situation, as my back hit the closet door.
“No.” Not only wasn’t I processing things, I didn’t want to.
“Magdalena!” my brother’s voice full of horror called me from outside the house and pulled my gaze to the door, which seemed about to explode open.
Within seconds, a hand grabbed my hair and dragged me across the room to the balcony.
I couldn’t help screaming, especially when he pushed me over the veranda and the ground slammed all the air out of my lungs.
The last thing I saw about my room was the door exploding and the fire.
Every joint in my body was broken, or that’s how it felt.
Numerous times, I tried to regain the ability to breathe, but the pain burned through me.
He touched me. He’s real. Mael is alive. Runnnnn! Although I knew I needed to escape, there was no way I could; I was paralyzed, trapped in a broken body and I couldn’t scream.
Unlike me, Mael ran down the stone stairs to the grass. Our gazes were locked as he stalked toward me while my family screamed my name again and again. I heard the terror in their voices. They were at the front of the house.
“Ember!!! Ashton!!!! Magdalena!” Mom was hysterical, but I could tell she was outside.
“I couldn’t find her! I couldn’t get to her,” my brother cried. “Where’s Ember? She was right here, Mom. Where did she go?”
“Ashton!!!!” Mom screamed. “No! Ashton! You can’t go back in there.”
Part of the house exploded. “Astoria!” my dad screamed. “Where are they?”
“Ashton just went back in. He went back in!”
They were on the front lawn, thinking I was burning alive.
Without a care in the world, smiling, Mael gripped my neck and choked me. Through gritted teeth he said, “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this to you. I’ve been so fucking patient. But that’s okay. It’s given me time to come up with ways I can torture you to death.” He chuckled.
Ember? What would happen to them? No! My family! It was the last thing I thought as my gaze slid to the left and the roof faltered from the fire. Sirens went off in the distance. The fire department was coming. The world darkened at the edges. Then the darkness spread until there was only black.