24. Bailey
24
Bailey
Monday
L achlan was right—morning practices should be banned on Mondays. It probably didn’t help that my alarm went off only a couple of hours after I had fallen into a deep sleep. No matter. I was still looking forward to practice.
It took me a long time to finish the barn chores, or it felt like it. Like the water buckets in the horse stall filled drops at a time, no matter how fast the water flowed out. I tried to rush, wanting to head out as soon as I could to pick up Lachlan, but I found myself slowing down as well, talking to the horses, greeting them in a way I hadn’t in so long. Over the past couple of years, I had always rushed my chores, mechanically getting them over and done with. Feeding and watering the horses before turning some of them out into the pasture or paddocks. Everything habitual, no stroking of their manes, no bum scratches or cooing involved. Just getting the job done.
I was nearly finished when I got to Titan. He was so beautiful. I gave him his food in the bucket and moved the hose over to fill his water. While he ate, I got into the stall and began cleaning it out. Just as I shoveled his feces into the wheelbarrow, he stepped his legs back, arched, and began unloading a heavy stream of urine.
“Ah, come on, Titan!” I said to him. “You did that on purpose.” He stepped around the urine pile and gave me a look that told me he knew exactly what he’d done. I reached up to him and began scratching along his neck; it was his favorite spot. He leaned his neck into my hand and began bobbing his head up and down. “I know, buddy. I know I stopped coming. Maybe…” I thought about it—could I promise him? “Maybe I’ll take you out for a ride sometime this week.” I smiled at him. “I, uh, don’t know how much time I have. I don’t know how long I have here—don’t know if they’re coming for me—but I’m starting to think I can make the best of the time I have left.” With the presence of the police this weekend, I was starting to feel my time was limited. Talking to Titan was easy. He didn’t judge, he didn’t care, as long as I kept up with the scratches.
I felt a shadow pass over me, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.
I could feel Ed’s breath on my cheek. I could feel his hard body press against me. It was a ghost of a feeling—not real, because he wasn’t really there—but a memory come to life, which was just as terrifying. His hardness pressed against my lower back, and I became frozen, just like I had the first time he had done this to me. “Don’t scratch, stroke. Stroke him like this, princess, see?” He grabbed my hips, holding me in place while he pressed against me. “He likes that.”
I pulled my hand away from Titan, as if I had been burned, and jumped back, looking around the stall. Empty. Aside from Titan and me, it was empty. I was the only person in the entire barn. Still, his presence had been so strong then that I felt he was here now. How had I not seen his actions for what they were, what they had been?
After cleaning up the soaked shavings in Titan’s stall, I topped off his hay, turned off the water, then took the wheelbarrow around back. He would stay in his stall, as Dad had stated he was going to take him for a ride this morning.
I had a quick shower, knowing I was about to get sweaty during practice, then grabbed a few pancakes for the road and the Tupperware of muffins my mom had made for the team. I tried to tell her they served the team breakfast in the mornings, but she didn’t care; she still wanted to make the muffins, and none of the guys ever objected.
I swung by Lachlan’s place to pick him up. “Morning, sunshine,” I said around a mouthful of pancakes.
Lachlan winked at me, and then his eyes landed on the food. “Are those your mom’s pancakes?”
“Yep. Wha— Hey!” He snatched my last pancake from where it sat on my lap.
“Too slow.” He took a bite and moaned. “Tastes like maple syrup.”
“She puts it in the batter.” I glared at him. “I licked that,” I lied.
He grinned. “Is that why it tastes so sweet?”
I shook my head. “How was your weekend?” I asked as I pulled onto the main road.
“Stayed up way too late, got way too high, and played way too many video games. Talked way too long on the phone.”
I winced. “Sorry about that. I couldn’t sleep, thinking too much.”
“That’s why I smoke,” he said. “Hey, let’s stop for coffee.”
“We don’t have time, plus you shouldn’t be drinking that before practice.” I eyed him. “Are you high right now?”
“Nope. I’m always clean and functioning for football. But by lunch, I’ll be evenly baked. It’s why I choose not to drive to and from school.”
“Thank you for not driving,” I said, and Lachlan shrugged it off. I wanted to ask him if the smoking helped with flashbacks. In fact, I found that I wanted to ask Lachlan a lot of stuff, but thinking about the memories and seeing them differently was so new.
Lachlan began going through the center console of the truck.
“What are you doing?”
“Looking,” he replied.
“Looking for what?”
“Snacks. Why don’t you have any snacks in here? Who doesn’t keep snacks in their car when they drive practically an hour to school?”
I shrugged.
“I smell something good.” He looked around, trying to locate the scent, when his eyes landed on the Tupperware container on the back seat, and he gasped. “You’re holding out on me!”
“Lachlan, no! They’re for after practice.”
“Did your mom make them?” he asked with a pout.
“Yes.”
“What flavor are they?”
I smiled at him. “Coffee caramel.”
He whimpered. “Just one? I’ll share.”
“Fine,” I said, barely holding back a giggle. “Just one, though.”
He practically dove for the container like a rabid beast. Once the first bite hit his tongue, he slowed down and took his time savoring the muffin. “Damn, Bailey, this is so good.”
He had lied, though—he didn’t share a single bite. I had to snatch the container away before he went in for seconds, holding it safely on my lap the rest of the drive.