13. Luna
Luna
E ven after Archer carries me back to the quiet of the room I’ve been given, his words still echo in my head.
The omega-alpha relationship, it isn’t a subservient kind of relationship.
All I ever did was serve Alpha Niall. All I was ever trained to do was serve him.
A true omega-alpha relationship is symbiotic.
Can I really offer this pack a true omega-alpha relationship? They’ve been so helpful, will the small things I’m able to do for them really be enough to count as a symbiotic relationship?
Because right now I feel more like a parasite.
They both have their strengths and their weaknesses.
I bury my head into my pillow. I don’t know what strengths he’s talking about. Because I only feel weak.
They’re two parts of a whole, made to support each other.
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to ward off the tears that want to fall. I’ve never ever thought I’d hear something like that, let alone from an alpha’s mouth. The only place I ever thought these sorts of ideas existed was in fictional stories. Not real life.
A knock sounds at the door.
“Yes?” I answer, quickly wiping my face with my hands and trying to appear more put together than I feel right now.
“Can I come in?” Madden asks from behind the door.
“Of course,” I say, sitting up in bed.
Madden opens the door with a warm smile on his lips. “I brought your tablet and some ice upstairs. I know you probably want to lay down in bed and rest and thought it’d be nice if you have something to do.”
“Oh! Thank you, that’s really sweet of you.” I return his smile.
He walks over to hand them to me, glancing to the side and seeing the four t-shirts I got from Chase last night neatly folded beside my pillow.
“Are those our shirts?”
A blush covers my cheeks. God, what must it look like, having all four of their shirts folded next to me?
“I—I don’t know if Chase told you, he—he got one shirt from all of you. He—he said it would help me get used to your scents. Is that okay?”
“Of course,” he says. “I’d offer to give you a fresh one, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
A fresh one? I glance down at the t-shirt he’s wearing now, a white one this time. Is he talking about giving me the shirt off his back?
My mouth gapes open. My brain short circuits. I don’t know what to think.
I do know that warmth gathers between my legs, my sweet perfume swirling in the air around us.
He swallows hard, his hand flexing before he shoves them in his pockets.
“I—I could make that offer, if you’d like,” he says, a hint of a blush covering his tan skin.
I don’t think I’d be capable of words even if I tried. I want to see him shirtless. I want to see if his ink extends beyond the sleeves of the t-shirts I’ve seen him in.
I give him a quick, single, jerky nod. His lips curve up into a small smile.
He reaches over his shoulder and tugs the shirt over his head.
Oh my god.
I can’t help but let out a gasp.
My entire face flushes a hot, tomato red. His tattoos don’t just end at his neck and arms. They spread across his entire chest and down his torso.
He’s also so, incredibly muscular that my mind doesn’t quite process it. He’s not as chiseled as Chase, but the sheer power I can see in his muscles is undeniable.
He hands me his t-shirt, his thick dark chocolate scent fresh on its fabric.
“You—you have a lot of tattoos,” I cough out, my hands clenching into fists around the fabric. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something as detailed as the art spread across his torso.
“Do you want to get a closer look?” He asks, kneeling down so he’s at eye level with me as I sit on the bed.
I tentatively reach out a hand, looking at him for permission.
“May I?”
What am I doing? I’ve never, ever wanted to touch a man, let alone an alpha. And now here I am, genuinely asking if I can touch Madden’s chest.
“Go ahead,” he says, his voice a deep timber.
“This is incredible,” I breathe. “Is there any meaning to this one?”
“I, uh, I liked dragons when I was a kid, thought they were cool,” he chuckles.
I trace my fingertip over the gorgeous dragon tattoo, that wraps itself around his arm, my touch following the outline of the flames across his chest.
A purr vibrates through his body, making my eyes snap up to his. His eyes are dark and intense as he looks at me. My perfume swirls around us, sweet and thick with my attraction to him.
Madden’s purr grows to a growl and he leans closer towards me, his nostrils flaring as he inhales deeply.
He’s so close to me right now that it almost feels like he’s all I can see. It’s almost like we’re breathing each other in. If he leans forward anymore, his lips will be touching mine.
The warmth I’ve been feeling around all four of them grows and to my absolute mortification, I feel slick gush into Chase’s boxers as my core throbs.
Oh my god.
Oh my fucking god.
I jerk backward, covering my face with his shirt, not that that does anything to calm my body down, because his scent is practically soaked into the shirt.
Madden coughs. “Sorry, that… that was a lot. I’ll leave you for now,” he says.
The last shred of my dignity is grateful that he leaves, shutting the door behind him and locking the scent of my slick in here. Away from all the alphas outside that I’m not sure I should be attracted to.
This was the first time I’ve ever had slick drip out of me because of an alpha. I’ve had slick before, but that was because of my heat. And I just had my heat, so I know this couldn’t be because of that.
It’s undeniably because of my body’s response to an alpha.
The warmth in my body isn’t going away. It’s so intense, it’s almost like a throbbing that I feel deep inside.
I reach my hand down, cupping myself to try and ease what genuinely feels like a pulsing throb.
I close my eyes, imagining that Madden actually leaned in and kissed me gently.
He seems like the kind of alpha who would want to make sure I’m alright before letting himself go.
The kiss would take my breath away and I’d get to trace my fingers over more of his muscles.
I let out a soft moan when I reach under the waistband of Chase’s boxers, sliding my fingers through my soaking folds. At the reminder of Chase, I imagine what it would be like to be between the two of them.
What would it be like to have all four of them?
Considering how much my body wants them when they haven’t even touched me like that, there’s a primal part of my brain that thinks it would be amazing. It would be nothing like what I’d experienced in the past.
I drift closer and closer to the edge, turning my head and muffling my soft cry into a pillow. Waves of pleasure flow through my entire body like I’m floating on the surface of a gently moving lake.
I close my eyes as tightly as I can, refusing to lift my head from the pillows. A wave of shame threatens to drag me under.
I’ve never felt pleasure like that in my entire life. What is it about just thinking about these alphas that can make me feel like this?
I catch the mixed scents of the pack, on their shirts, through the thickness of my scent. When I take my hand out of the boxers I’m wearing, I see my hand covered in glistening slick.
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m wiping my hand on the collection of shirts I have beside me, mixing my scents with theirs. The omega part of me is practically purring.
I throw myself off the bed, my body jolting as I catch myself before hitting the floor. I see white from the pain radiating through all the still-healing bruises on my body.
God, what in the world was I thinking?
I stumble to the bathroom, frantically scrubbing at my hands, trying to wash away the feeling of being dirty from my skin. My mind is swirling with too many emotions to really focus on the pain from moving so quickly.
Why in the world would there be a part of me that liked mixing the scent of my slick with this pack? It seems like such an animalistic thing to do.
I’ve never done anything that’s pleased the omega side of myself like this before. If anything, everyone in my life, my parents, Alpha Niall, and even myself have all seemed to do their best to suppress my omega urges and tendencies.
I splash some cold water onto my face before building up the courage to glance at myself in the mirror. I don’t pay attention to any of the bruising that’s still clear on my face. All I really notice are the flush on my cheeks, my blown pupils, and how red my lips are from biting them.
Reminders of what I did to myself. What I chose to do.
More cold water doesn’t help the warm feeling that settles in my chest. I don’t even think an ice-cold bath would get rid of it, so I give up and throw myself back into the bed.
My own sweet minty scent wraps itself around me, mixing with the pack’s t-shirts spread about my head.
I was never really allowed to learn much about the omega side of myself, or at least nothing other than what Alpha Niall wanted me to learn. My parents certainly didn’t help. Anything omega-related seemed to disgust them.
I roll over and pick up the tablet Madden has let me use. Maybe I can do some research of my own.
After a quick internet search, I find a website that seems to have what I’m looking for that doesn’t look too medical or intimidating and start skimming through.
“An omega seeks comfort from alpha scents, especially those she is most compatible with. The comfort of alphas is necessary for an omega’s well-being after a stressful or traumatic incident. Without such comfort, an omega’s hormone cycle can be negatively affected.”
Well, I guess that explains why I’m so drawn to their scents. Being threatened with a future that might as well be a death sentence and running away is definitely a stressful and traumatic experience.