13. Luna #2
I continue reading and learning about omega nesting habits.
The pictures included on the website of cozy-looking rooms full of soft things make something in my chest twist. I’ve never had that before, not until the Ward Pack’s kindness.
The soft comforter wrapped around me is the closest thing I’ve ever had.
A word catches my eye: scent matches . Charlotte mentioned something about scent matches, but she didn’t really explain what they were. I think she was more concerned with whatever is wrong with my body.
I’m not dumb enough to think I can figure out whatever’s going on with just the internet when an actual doctor said it would take her more research, but it looks like I can learn more about what she was talking about.
I click on the link and I’m sent to another page of the website.
“Scent matches are pheromone-based connections between omegas and alphas. Omegas and alphas often use scents to make decisions about pursuing relationships and bonds with each other. Appealing scents are usually signs of compatibility. Scent matches are essentially, the best sign of compatibility between omegas and alphas possible.”
It’s been a while since I’ve been in school, so my reading comprehension may not be the best, but it seems like scent matches are the closest thing to scientific soulmates.
My fingertips go white as I clutch the tablet. I glance at the door, swallowing hard.
Charlotte asked me whether it was reassuring to know that this pack was mine. Mine as in they’re my scent match?
But wouldn’t that be something I can tell?
“Scent matches are very easy for either party to sense if both parties aren't already bonded. Scent-matched alphas and omegas will be unable to identify their scent match should either party be bonded due to the pheromone changes that occur after that process.”
My hand flies up to my neck in panic. Alpha Niall didn’t bond me, did he? No way. I don’t know a lot about this, but I would know if he bonded with me.
From what I remember, Charlotte was very interested in the way I’ve spent my heats.
I open up another tab and look up another question: “What happens when an omega goes through heats without any alphas?”
My eyes go wide at the results.
“Omegas who are on suppressants for extended periods of time or omegas who repeatedly go through their heats without any alphas can have significant damage to their natural hormone cycles. Such damage can negatively impact heat cycles and their frequency, an omega’s sense of smell, and their fertility. ”
I rub my eyes, my head swimming with this information. Did the Ward pack tell Charlotte they think that I’m their scent match?
Am I their scent match?
Can I not tell because I went through most of my heats without alphas?
But… can I really not tell? I’ve never scented any alphas as delicious as the ones that’ve taken me in and shown me this kindness.
Granted, I haven’t really met that many alphas, but none of the ones I have scented have gotten close.
Even the scents that weren’t necessarily bad, like the ones from the alphas at the railroad tracks, pale in comparison.
Is this what the internet means by them being my scent match?
What does that mean for me? What does that mean for them? Is this why they’ve been so kind to me? Because they’re after a magical soulmate connection?
My throat closes up at the thought of these amazing alphas being stuck with an omega like me, an omega who’s defective. Even if they’re not after the kind of omega that Alpha Niall tried to beat me into, they’d probably prefer an omega like Charlotte over an omega like me.
They deserve an omega who isn’t terrified of everything. An omega full of softness and warmth, not jumpiness and insecurity .
But at the same time, the thought of them with an omega like that makes me feel sick to my stomach.
There’s a part of me that desperately hopes that whatever this scent match stuff means, they’re not going to find another omega that’ll suit their pack better and leave me in the dust, to watch as they care for another omega.
I try to distract myself from drowning in my own thoughts, continuing to scroll through that first website and trying to learn more about omegas and omega nature. When the letters start swimming together and my eyes grow heavy, I let them drift closed. A nap wouldn’t hurt.
When I open my eyes, it’s dark outside. Oh my god, how long was I asleep for? I tap on the screen of the tablet and see that it’s four in the morning.
I literally passed out for twelve hours.
Panic twists in my chest. I wanted to make dinner for the pack! I have no clue what I wanted to make them, but I wanted to try and make them something.
I know everyone’s been telling me I don’t need to earn my keep, that they want me here without wanting me to do anything for them, but still. How else am I ever going to manage to pay them back?
By bonding with them a small voice at the back of my head says.
I shake my head. I can’t think about that right now.
I’ve spent my entire life thinking that a bond to an alpha, let alone four, would be a death sentence.
After my research earlier today, I know that bonding with my scent-matched pack is basically the best opportunity I could ever have as an omega, but still.
It’s hard to get rid of the weight of my past.
I notice a few notifications on the tablet from the messaging app.
Madden
Hey Luna, this is Madden. I knocked on your door earlier, but you didn’t answer. I understand if you want space after what happened earlier, I’m sorry if I pushed
I just wanted to let you know the guys and I are ordering pizza tonight, we got you a cheese pizza that’ll be in the fridge for whenever you’re ready to eat
Here’re all the other guys’ contacts in case you want to reach out to them too
Sorry again if I freaked you out
God, I’m so embarrassed. I cover my face at the thought of what happened earlier. When I close my eyes, I can still see the tattoos on Madden’s muscular chest.
I groan softly as warmth makes its way lower on my body. When will this feeling go away?
I sit up to try and make my way to the bathroom to splash more cold water on my face, but freeze as the aches and pains in my body start screaming at me.
Shoot, I guess I’m a little behind on my pain medication. I don’t have any food in the room, which means I have to make my way downstairs to grab something before I can take it.
It should be okay though, it’s late. Maybe I won’t have to run into any of the guys. Well, at least I hope I don’t run into anyone.
I don’t think I can face any of them right now. Not after failing at providing for them and selfishly thinking about them while touching myself.
I can’t even bring myself to text Madden back and tell him that he didn’t push anything, that he has nothing to worry about and shouldn’t feel bad.
I tell myself I can’t text back because it’s so late, but I’m definitely lying to myself.
It’s because I’m scared he’ll know what I’ve been thinking about .
With a deep breath and the bottle of pain medication clenched in my palm, I stand from the bed. My knuckles go white around the doorknob, but I don’t hear any sounds from beyond the door, so after a few seconds of trying to build my courage, I open the door and head into the hall.
The walk down the stairs sucks, but I make it to the kitchen.
There’s a pizza box with a sticky note with my name written on it in the fridge, just like Madden said there would be. It’s a whole cheese pizza all for me. For some reason, seeing something they got specifically for me has my hands trembling a tiny bit.
I’m just about to pull it from the shelf when I hear a throat clearing behind me.
I whirl around, jumping out of my skin and knocking into the fridge door. I’m about to fall flat on my face when strong arms wrap around me, pulling me against a strong chest.
The scent of a pine forest wraps itself around me.
“I’m sorry, little one, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he murmurs softly into my hair. He doesn’t set me down just yet, which I’m grateful for, it kind of feels like my legs are about to give out from underneath me.
“It’s—it’s okay, please don't apologize. I’m the one who should be saying sorry, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to be awake, since it’s so late.”
He relaxes his hold so I’m standing, but doesn’t unwrap his arms from around me.
“I have trouble sleeping,” he shrugs. “What are you doing up so late?”
“I just woke up, I came down here because I know I have to eat something with my pain meds,” I shake the orange plastic bottle that I somehow managed not to drop. “I saw Madden’s texts on the tablet he gave me about a cheese pizza.”
“Ah, that makes sense,” Kane says. “May I help you?”
His hand flexes against my waist, stopping my ability to form a coherent sentence for an embarrassingly long time .
“Oh, I—I think I’m fine, it’s alright, I’m alright—” I finally manage to stutter out.
“Please, you must be in pain. It’s been a while since your last dose of meds.”
My feet are killing me, which is why I’m still grateful he’s holding me close and giving me something to lean my weight against.
“O—Okay. Thank you.”
He sweeps me into his arms the moment I give him permission to and sets me gently on one of the barstools. I just sit there and watch as he grabs the pizza box and a plate from the cabinet.
“Two slices good enough for you to start?” He asks.
“Yes, of course, thank you,” I say, nervously clasping my hands in my lap to keep from fidgeting. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do when someone is taking care of me, let alone an alpha with a delicious scent.
The hum of the microwave fills the air as he puts the pizza box back in the fridge and fills a glass of water for me. When our eyes meet from across the counter, he holds my gaze, giving me a soft smile.