3. Chapter 3
I get to my room and start pacing the long room. It”s comfortable and much better than any hospital room I’ve been in. There are hardwood floors, a comfortable bed, a desk, a living room with a couch, chairs, and a TV. It’s nice that I have a private bathroom, too. The decorations are in keeping with the rustic feel the place has. I”d take Oakside over a hospital any day.
My room is on the second floor and looks out over the back of the property, so I get great views from here. But I can”t see if Carlee is still on the front lawn or not. Now that my appointment is over, I would love to join her again on the lawn. But I don”t want to scare her off either.
I have this draw to be around her even more. To be near her. But I don”t want to scare her or put off stalker vibes. I’m sure the last thing she wants is an older, creepy man hanging around. Fuck, is she really only twenty-two? She is way too young, and I should stay away, but I know I won”t be able to. I need to be near her, and I don’t want to examine why this is.
Despite my injuries and lack of hearing, I feel like I am myself around her. The undeniable fact that I was fighting my cock from becoming hard the entire time I was with her tells the story. My body wants her, but my brain says she is too young, too pure for me and for my darkness to touch her.
The lights in my room flash, which is like a knock on the door to someone like me who can”t hear anything. When I turn toward the door, Noah is standing there. He”s one of us. When he was wounded in action, there was no place like Oakside that existed for him, so his wife started one. Now, we all get to benefit from it.
Noah wears scars on his face, neck, and arms. Many who are here have visible scars. Other than my hand, there won”t be scars on me for people to see. They won”t know until they realize I can”t hear them.
I nod my head toward the couch, inviting him in. Noah is very hands-on with the patients. I guess having once been in our shoes helps him deal with those of us who end up here.
He walks over, sits, and picks up the tablet that”s sitting on the coffee table.
How was the garden?he asks.
Of course, his wife told him I would be checking them out. I wouldn”t expect anything less, but good communication between them.
I actually didn”t make it that far. I met Carlee, and we got to talking.I’m not holding anything back and am going to be truthful.
I saw you, but I didn”t know if you made it to the garden. She”s really nice and incredibly talented.He watches me as I read what he wrote.
Yeah, she showed me her sketchbook. I can”t wait to see what she paints.
Noah smiles, looking at me for a moment before he replies.
I could tell by the way you looked at her that there was something there. So, I signed you up for art therapy in her class.
My gut reaction was to say no, I”m not going. But I stopped myself. I guess one of the things that came out of not being able to react instantly is that I allow myself more time to think. Not only do I want to see what she does, but I want to see her paint, too. It can”t hurt to get to spend more time with her.
Also, going to art therapy will show that I am trying and open to assisting in making sure that I can get out of here as soon as possible. Though I still have no idea what I”m going to do in civilian life. My top priority is to heal, and learn how to live my new life. If art therapy helps, then so be it.
But I’m going to need to address the other part of his statement.
She”s way too young for me.I don”t know what else to say, so I just leave it at that.
Says who?he asks.
Fuck, I don”t know society? She”s thirteen years younger than me, just out of college and starting her life. Here I am about to be medically retired from the military, having lost my hearing. I have no idea what I”m going to do with the rest of my life or how I”m going to support myself, much less someone else.
I could go on and on about how she doesn”t need to be involved in all of that. How no dating probably isn”t even on the table because anyone that I end up with would just end up taking care of me. How is that fair to them?
Noah types back. Time and time again, I pushed Lexi away. I knew it was the right thing to do, yet I couldn’t help pulling her to me over and over because I couldn”t stand the thought of not having her in my life. I thought that if she was saddled with me, she”d spend her life taking care of me. That”s when I was at my darkest point and couldn”t see the light through the trees.
What changed?I ask.
A beautiful blonde barged her way into my life. I finally realized that sometimes life throws you a curveball, and you watch your dreams crash and burn around you, but then you have to find new dreams. She looked me straight in the eye and told me that I will fight and that I would be okay and that I did not have another choice. When I needed her the most, she charged into my life. Once I began my recovery, I came to the other side. I couldn”t imagine my life without her. I fight every day to make sure that I”m the one taking care of her.
He has a huge smile on his face, and I can tell without a shadow of a doubt how much he is in love with her. I can only imagine the battle he had with all the severe burns and injuries that he had. The healing he had to go through must have been hard and intense.
He made it out on the other side, and he”s living his life. His dreams may have changed, but it”s clear he”s living the life he was meant to. He”s right where he needs to be.
I”ve never been an overly patient man, but apparently that”s what I’m going to need to be right now. Maybe giving it time and letting the dust settle will help me find my future.
Grinning, I tell him honestly, You got lucky with Lexi. I guess at this point, only time will tell, and I”m not in a position to rush anything. But I do want to get to know Carlee better. And then, under any other circumstances, I”d be upset that you signed me up for art therapy, but in this case, thank you.
We say our goodbyes, and he leaves, but I sit there thinking and going over everything that he just said.
If the boys in my unit ever found out that I was doing art therapy, I would never hear the end of it. But all the ribbing in the world could not keep me away from Carlee.