8. Chapter 8
Iknow I should stay away from Carlee, especially after the picnic, and she admitted that she was a virgin. The problem is that my dreams at night now consist of claiming her as my own. She deserves better, but I”ll kill anyone else who tries to put a hand on her.
It makes no sense, and I haven’t even tried to talk to anyone about how it makes me feel. I know the simple answer is to leave her alone. They will tell me to let her live her life, and my feelings will sort themselves out. But not being around her, isn’t an option either.
So, while I try to figure myself out, I go look for her. It”s our own little game of hide-and-seek. It”s been a few days since the first time she saw the scars on my hand, but every time we sit down together, she”ll take my hand and trace those scars again.
I was self-conscious about the scars. They stand out pretty easily against my skin, but the fact that Carlee loves tracing her hands over them and the way her body reacts when she does, I”m damn proud of those scars and happy they intrigue her.
It’s foreplay. A kind I’ve never experienced before, and I’m enjoying the hell out of it. Nor do I think I will ever find it again. Fuck if I can stop it, anyway.
As I enter the lobby, getting ready to go outside and find her, Noah steps into my path. While I want to ignore him and go find Carlee, it’s not an option. I don’t want to talk and waste time here, but he’s been nothing but nice and supportive, so I can’t be an asshole to him.
She”s doing some sketches of my place today. Take the path over by the parking area.He signs, pointing in that direction.
So, I head out to explore a new area that I have not yet been to. Off the parking lot, there”s a beautiful walkway that is paved and cuts between the trees. It has inviting benches along the way. Coming out on the other side of the path is a beautiful Colonial home, and sitting on the front porch swing is my girl.
I like the sound of that, my girl. I want her to be mine, but I don’t know if she really truly ever will be. But for now, for a time, she is mine.
As I make my way over to her, she looks up and sees me and there is a huge smile lighting up her face.
How did you find me?she asks.
Noah stopped me in the lobby and told me. I tell her as I approach the porch and stop at the steps.
That”s cheating. She says, but pats the spot on the swing next to her. I climb up the brick porch steps and join her.
When I glance over at her sketchpad to see what she”s drawing, all I see are a bunch of lines that look nothing like anything around us.
What is that?I ask her.
She looks at me hesitantly, but then reaches for my hand, and my dick instantly goes hard. Then she turns my hand over, runs a finger over the scars, and points to the sketch pad.
That”s when I realize that the pattern on the sketch pad is the same pattern as my scars. I flip back through a few pages and realize that all she”s been sketching lately is that same pattern over and over and over again.
I can tell that having me look at her sketchbook makes her nervous, but she doesn”t stop me. When I look back up at her, she tries to change the subject.
Why did you decide to join the military?
There was really nothing for me back home. My dad and I had completely different opinions. Mom agreed with him just to keep the peace. Why she”s still with him, I will never know. I think she”s just scared that she won”t be able to make it on her own. Even though I”ve offered to help her before, she never takes me up on it. So in short, I saw it as my ticket out of town because I knew college wasn’t going to be for me.I answer honestly.
I knew I was going to go to college, but my mom thought it was just a waste of time, especially since I was going to get an art degree. She thought I should use that time looking for a husband. I can”t prove it, but I”m pretty sure my dad convinced her that I”d have a good chance of finding someone in college. Needless to say, when I started dating Eric, she was ecstatic. She still asks me if I”m sure we can”t work things out, and I can”t tell her the truth without telling her I can no longer have kids, and I am just not ready for that yet.
A small irrational part of me is angry at her mother for suggesting that she be with any other guy but me. Her mother doesn”t even know I exist, so I get how crazy it all sounds. Nevertheless, the thought of her with anyone else drives me mad.
So, you got out and went to college. What made you decide to come back?
My sister. I wanted to be near her, and I wanted to be here to see my niece grow up. She”s the closest thing I”ll have to a kid, so I want to be able to spoil her as much as I can and then send her back to my sister to deal with the consequences.She says it with a slightly evil smile.
Oh, you want to be the fun aunt. I think it would be fun to be the fun uncle.I say with a chuckle.
I can see Carlee and me taking her niece out for ice cream and a day at the beach. Then bringing her home tired with a huge smile on her face. Once we’ve dropped her off at her parents, we’d go home to spend the rest of the night making love over and over again until she passed out.
Right away, I clear those thoughts because there”s no way that they”re going to happen. Eventually, I will get cleared from Oakside and discharged. I have to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I doubt the sweet, young, beautiful girl is going to want to be tied to a damaged older man like me.