9. Chapter 9
“Is everything okay? You look like you”re stuck in your own head today,” Lexi asks as I walk back into the lobby after spending the afternoon with Zane on the lawn.
“Well, I guess that’s because I am stuck in my head. Trying to figure some things out. I don”t have a lot of close friends to call, so I might go visit my sister”s and see what advice she has offer.” I tell her, trying to shake out thoughts of Zane from my head.
“Listen, some of the girls who work here, we all do a girls’ night at least once a month. Coincidentally, we”re having one tonight. You should come. The guys go back, and they barbecue and chat and we girls take over my sunroom. This is an opportunity for you to get it all out and maybe get some good advice. There”s great food, and drinks, if you need them. We”re all willing to listen, troubleshoot, and give our opinions. Hopefully, we can help you out.”
I almost said no and passed, but stopped myself. Though I don’t know what the future holds for me, but while I”m here, it wouldn”t hurt to have some friends. I love my sister to death, but I could use some other people to talk to as well. Maybe even find some friends to go out with and get me out of the house.
“You know, I think I will join you. What can I bring? Drinks? Dessert?”
We meet at 6 p.m. at my house next door. You don”t have to bring anything, but if you want to bring a dessert, I know none of the ladies will turn it down.” Lexi gives me a hug before she is pulled away by someone in the lobby.Packing up my stuff, I go home to spend some time on the painting that I”m working on. I”m almost done with the view of the driveway, but I can”t stop thinking about what Zane said, how beautiful it must look at fall as all the leaves start to change.
I hope I”ll be around to see it happen. As much as I would love to put some space between me and my mother, I really want to be close to my sister and my niece. Also, I like this area, and there’s the added bonus of how much I enjoy working with the people here at Oakside. When I”m done painting, I take a quick shower to wash off any paint that I have on me. After applying a little makeup, I go to the kitchen and make the brownies that my niece loves. Hopefully, that means these girls will love it too.
By the time I get to Lexi”s house, I”m a few minutes early. While I’m sure that it’s okay, I’m relieved to see there are several cars already in the driveway.
When I knock on the door, it’s Faith, the ASL teacher at Oakside who answers the door.
“Come on in. Lexi said you”d be joining us today. She”s just finishing up dinner.” Faith leads me toward the kitchen at the back of the house.There are quite a few more people here than I expected. Paisley and her husband Easton, Jake and his fiancé Kassi, who recently got engaged.
The nurse Kaitlyn that I met the other day is here with a man who I assume is her husband because his arm is around her waist.
“I”m sure you recognize some people here, but this guy is my husband, Logan. He can hear you. He is not able to speak, so we use sign language to communicate. Over there is Gavin and his wife, Lauren. Even though he can hear, he won”t be able to see the sign language, so in order to communicate with everyone, we generally talk at the same time we sign. This cute little thing over here is Noah’s sister, Lucy. She”s recently met someone, but is being super tight-lipped about it and not sharing a thing.” At her words, Lucy’s face lights up, and she giggles.
Faith continues, introducing me to everyone around the room.
“All right, let”s get the show on the road, guys and kids. Food is here in the kitchen. Help yourself to anything that you want or need. The bathroom is under the stairs. No girls are allowed on the back porch, and no guys are allowed in the sunroom. If you need to talk to your spouse, you need to do it in the kitchen or a common room. Or wait until we”re done.”
A pang of jealousy hits me as everyone turns to their partners, giving hugs and kisses. Being one of the only single people here, I try to ignore it, but it sucks.
“You want what they have, don’t you?” Lucy asks walking up beside me.
“Sounds as if you have it,” I say, taking one of the chips from the bowl and popping it in my mouth.
“Not really. We”re just kind of talking and getting to know each other,” she shrugs her shoulders, but I can see what Faith means. There”s definitely more to the story that she”s not sharing.
We all file into the sunroom. If I hadn”t seen it attached to Lexi”s house with my own eyes, I would believe it belongs to someone else. While the rest of Lexi”s house has a beautiful farmhouse style with neutral colors, this sunroom is colorful with hot pops of colors everywhere you look.
“This is my fun room. I love coming out here to read or relax, especially when the weather is nice.” Lexi says, taking my arm and guiding me to sit down next to her on one of the sofas.
“Okay, here are girls’ night rules,” Lexi says. She holds up one finger. “One. No drinking and driving. There are guest bedrooms upstairs and downstairs and couches around the house. Crash anywhere you want. You are always welcome.”
She holds up a second finger. “Two, we are friends first. We are not boss and employees. Here we are friends. Venting about work is okay, venting about patients is okay, and venting about guys is encouraged. We are here to support each other,” she says.
Then she holds up a third finger. “Three. What is talked about at girls’ night stays at girls’ night. This is a safe place. What is talked about in this room doesn’t leave this room. Got it?”
Once Lexi has gone over the rules, everyone digs into their food, and for the first few minutes, it”s quiet.
Kaitlyn says to us, “I’ll begin. Apparently, my dad is dating someone, and he posted about it on social media. But first, let”s take a moment and collectively agree how weird it is my dad is telling everyone about his dating life on social media. Then, I guess my stepmom saw it, and went ballistic. She didn”t even get alimony in the divorce because of all the crap that she put my dad through. Now Dad has a restraining order and a no contact order on her.” Kaitlyn finishes, shoving more food in her mouth.
If this is how girls’ night starts, I will be thoroughly entertained and will definitely be back.
“We all know your stepmom is psycho. I think the bigger thing here is how are you feeling about your dad”s dating life?” Lexi asks her.
“I felt fine about it until it was all over social media. They are great together. Not only is she really nice, but she”s also a fantastic cook. I just don”t want to log on to social media and see pictures of them kissing, filling my feed.”
“So unfollow him, and you won”t see his stuff unless you specifically go to his profile,” Mandy says.
“What? You can do that?” Kaitlyn asks, her eyes going wide.
Immediately, she goes and sits by Mandy, pulling out her phone and they huddle over it for a few minutes.
“You are a lifesaver,” Kaitlyn says before coming back to her spot at the other end of the couch.
“How are you living the mom life?” Lauren asks Lexi.
“I”m loving every minute of it, but I”m exhausted,” Lexi says with a winsome smile on her face.
“I remember those early years. Mine”s in school now and I can honestly say it”s just a different kind of exhausted,” Lauren says.
That sounds very familiar as I remember my sister saying the exact same thing.
The night goes on and just about everyone has something to say. Life updates, family updates, personal updates, they share it all.
Time and time again, I watch these ladies build each other up and help solve their problems.
And it finally gives me the courage to speak up.
“So I...”
I stop when all eyes in the room turn to me. It”s now or never and I don”t want to chicken out since I could really use some advice.
“There”s this guy,” I start and everyone smiles.
“There’s always a guy. Do we know him?” Paisley asks.
Lexi knows who I”m talking about, and I”m pretty sure Kaitlyn does too, as does Faith, so there really is no point in beating around the bush.
“Yeah, it”s Zane,” I say. Then immediately feel my face turn bright red.The girls clap and giggle, genuinely excited for me.
“Okay, girls, let”s hear her out,” Lexi says, trying to get them to calm down.
“Well, I want to start off by saying he”s a really good guy. The problem is, it”s a lot of little things. He”s more than ten years older than me, and that seems to bother him. Then, as you can guess, the fact that he”s still learning how to communicate with the world seems to be a crutch that he leans on. Not that I can blame him. Even though it”s made communicating difficult, we”re doing it, and we”re learning.” I stop to take a breath.
“But,” Lexi encourages me on.
“But then there are some larger issues. Such as I”ve always wanted to have a family, and he”s never wanted kids,” I say, unsure of how much I plan on opening up about this topic.
“Men change their minds on that all the time once they fall in love. Then they start picturing the future, and it”s always with children and with the woman that they love. Don”t let that stop you from moving forward. I guarantee you it won”t be an issue later.” Mandy encourages me and voices ring out in agreement.
“But there”s something else, isn”t there?” Kassi says, studying my face and speaking up for the first time.
“I can”t have kids. I was in a car accident a couple of years ago and it was pretty bad. I lost a lot of blood and was hemorrhaging because there was part of a tree lodged in my abdomen. When they couldn’t stop the bleeding, they had to remove my uterus to save my life. So, at least physically I cannot have children.”
“Does he know that?” Lexi asks.
“Yeah, I told him and I”m worried that the fact that I can”t have kids is what”s kept him from running, since he doesn”t want them anyway. But I still want a family someday. Though I won’t be going the traditional route. I”m enjoying spending time with him, and I feel like he”s starting to open up and talk about his hopes and dreams a little more. But I also don’t want to do anything to set his progress back.”
“First of all, you are talking of putting his needs above yours just because you think it”s going to set back his progress if you don’t. The men and women here are going to have the setbacks that life is going to give them. We don”t want them to be in such a cocoon that they don”t know how to deal with real life when they leave,” Kaitlyn says, with everyone agreeing.
“It sounds more like you really like him, but you”re not ready to walk away even though some part of you is saying that you should. We can give you the whole listen to your heart BS and everything, but when it comes down to it, the only one who can make that decision is you. You’re the one who knows what”s best for you. Sometimes life will step in the way and force our hand,” Lauren says.
I get a sense that she”s more experienced with it than I realized.
“It sounds like you”re in a situationship and have to see where the cards fall,” Kassi says.
“What the hell is a situationship?” Lexi asks.
“It”s kind of like friends with benefits, but you don”t have to be sleeping together. It”s all the makings of a relationship, but it doesn’t have an official title. You”re just kind of waiting for the other one to say, hey, I want this,” Kassi explains.
“Never been happier to be married,” Lexi says.
All the married women chime in with head nods and ‘yesses.’
We spend the rest of the night talking about fun stuff, celebrity gossip, things happening around town, and anything that pops up. It’s fun and relaxing, and something that I didn’t know I needed.
After a while, we all start heading back to the kitchen, and everyone but me goes to their guys.
Being the only single one there, I duck out pretty fast, not wanting to be a third wheel.
They definitely gave me a lot to think about.