17. Sawyer
CHAPTER 17
Sawyer
SECOND brEAKFAST
It’s the laughter and the adoration in her eyes.
The way she understands. Truly, deeply understands how I feel and why I’m so fucking tired all the time.
The way she makes me feel the opposite of tired, and how she noticed the photos, and the way she called me out on my bullshit in the kindest way possible.
Her offer of help—her genuine, no-strings-attached offer—has me all choked up. Which doesn’t really make sense. People offer me help all the time, my family especially. Maybe Ava having to ask me point-blank to let her help has me realizing just how hard I am on myself.
Makes me realize my role as the helper—the one who catches everyone before they fall or fail—is maybe one that doesn’t quite fit anymore. Which is terrifying. And liberating.
I can’t. Fucking. Take it.
So like the sleep-deprived, sex-deprived, overly emotional asshole I am, I take Ava’s face in my hand and pull her in for a kiss.
I’m kissing this woman like we’re not strangers who just ran into each other in the preschool parking lot less than an hour ago.
Are we strangers, though?
Because she’s kissing me like she knows me. Her lips melt into mine, a warm, soft press that draws a groan from deep in my throat. She reaches up with her free hand and digs her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck.
Christ, that feels good. Goose bumps break out on my arms as she runs her fingertips over my scalp. Just how she did back in Austin.
Just how I like it.
Tilting my head, I slant my mouth over hers, using my teeth to tug on her bottom lip before I slip my tongue inside the seam of her mouth.
She’s hot, eager, her tongue stroking into my own mouth as she deepens the kiss. My body ignites, blood moving through my skin in a frenzied rush. I set my mug on the mantel, pushing aside a pair of picture frames in the process, and grab Ava’s and set it up there too.
Then her hands are on my chest, pinkie catching on my nipple through my shirt. Need rips through me, making me growl.
My hands are on her face, and our hips melt together as I draw her close. Our noses brush. Her fingers curl into my shirt, and a pulse of hot, blinding lust lands between my legs.
We fall into a deep, unhurried rhythm, our tongues, lips, heads moving in a choreographed dance that I know well. The kiss feels easy. Broken in.
I really gotta get to work. With calving season coming up, we’re busier than ever.
But I can’t stop kissing this woman if I tried. And how could I resist putting on my cape for her? She needed a shoulder to cry on, and I’ll be damned if it’s any shoulder but mine.
I see stars behind my closed eyelids when she moves her hands up my chest and onto my shoulders, her thumbs brushing my neck. She presses her tits against me, pulling me closer, and when she tenderly kisses my cheek, my jaw, I just about lose it.
“I don’t”—I lean down to nip at her neck before soothing the spot with my tongue—“wanna make any assumptions here?—”
“Listen, cowboy.” Pulling away a little, she puts her hands on my chest and shoves me backward so that I fall onto the couch. “Your assumption is one hundred percent correct.”
Can’t help but smile. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She climbs onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck as she straddles me. “I definitely need some stress relief.”
“I just so happen to be very good at that.” I curl my hands around her waist. Run them up her sides so that my thumbs brush her breasts. “Any relief in particular you need?”
Tossing her hair aside, she throws off my hat and leans in to bite my earlobe. “You know the kind I like.”
Fuck yeah, I do.
I kiss her mouth. Then I grab her waist again and toss her onto her back on the cushions. She laughs, a light, breathless sound as I pull off her tennis shoes. Without hesitating, I yank down her leggings, sucking in a breath when I see that she’s not wearing panties. Her pussy is achingly small and soft-looking.
“You go commando often?”
“Only when I forget to put on underwear.”
I chuckle, my dick thickening in my jeans. “Why would you ever forget to do that, Ava? Do you just have two full-time jobs, plus a tiny terrorist—I mean angel—living in your house?”
She laughs again, and my heart skips. “Two jobs?”
“I don’t gotta tell you being a parent is a whole other full-time gig.”
“It’s my hardest gig by far.” Her eyes flash when I pull her leggings off her feet. “But also the best.”
I hike her leg over my shoulder, spreading her open as I fall onto my belly, pushing up onto my forearms and knees so I’m on all fours. Good thing this couch is oversize, allowing us both to fit on the cushions. “Stressful.”
“So stressful.” She digs her hands into my hair. I slide my hands underneath her ass, giving it a quick squeeze. “Thank God for coffee.”
“That what we’re calling this now?” I lick her clit, an unhurried stroke of tongue. “Coffee?”
Her eyes flutter shut. “I live for caffeine.”
I hum my assent against her pussy. She tastes exactly how I remember, sweet and earthy and perfect. “The buzz is the best.”
“It really i— oh .” Her breath catches when I move my tongue lower.
“Holy shit, pretty girl, you’re wet.” I lap her up. My dick goes full salute. “Really wet.”
She bites her lip, opening her eyes. They’re heavy-lidded, hazy with lust. “Told you your little wave was a turn-on.”
“I didn’t know I had that kinda power. I wave to a lot of people.”
“Then you’re probably the reason sex toy sales have skyrocketed in Hartsville.”
That makes me grin. I use my tongue to spread her arousal onto her clit. “It’s on our Wikipedia page: Hartsville has more vibrators per capita than anywhere else in Texas .”
Ava shuts her eyes again, rolling her hips against my mouth. “Hot cowboys plus backward hats equals—yeah, lots of fun with toys.”
“Or tongues.” I press the flat of mine against her clit. Then I angle my head so I can swipe my tongue through her slit, a quick, front-to-back motion that has her hips punching off the couch.
Her grip on my hair tightens. “Yours is magic.”
“You do seem”—I suck on her clit—“much more relaxed.”
She bends her knees, putting both her feet on my shoulders. I pull my hands out from underneath her ass and put one on her stomach, pushing up her shirt. I splay my fingers so that I’m able to thumb her clit while I slip my tongue inside her entrance, holding her hips down while I work.
She moans, her knees falling apart. Her pussy flutters around my tongue. She’s getting close.
Glancing to the side, I notice the little tattoo on her ankle. “What’s that?”
“My tattoo?” She opens her eyes. “My sisters and I got them on a spring break trip. I was twenty and”—she sucks in a breath when I nip at her clit—“it seemed like a good idea at the time. Three hearts, one for each of us. Mine is filled in with pink, my favorite color.”
“It’s cute.”
“So are you.”
My dick strains against my jeans. I slide my hand up her belly, moving my tongue back to her clit while I cup her breast.
Her bare breast.
“No bra either?” I manage.
Her body rises, back arching as I flick my tongue over her clit again and again and again. “I got—after June—a breast augmentation. I don’t need to wear bras anymore, except when I ride to help with chafing. Implants made me feel—like me again.”
“You’re gorgeous.” I knead her breast, capturing her nipple between my first two fingers. Then I carefully— carefully —trace the scar on the underside of her breast. “I remember seeing this in Austin.”
Ava opens her eyes. “You really do remember everything.”
“I do when it comes to you.”
“Do you judge me?”
“For getting surgery that made you feel human again?” I shove up her shirt, baring her breasts. “How could I? They make you feel good, then they make me feel good. Or, you know, they put me in an extreme amount of pain.”
Ava laughs, throwing her arms over her head. “You’re feeling it too?”
“Pretty girl, you got no idea how fucking hard I am right now.”
“Will you let me relieve your stress, then? Any relief in particular you need?”
I nip at her clit, using my teeth to tease her. She yelps.
“You know the kind I like.”
She’s smiling and I’m smiling, and I feel something inside me crack open. Who the fuck am I, eating out a woman on my family room couch on a Monday morning?
Who the fuck do I think I am, ignoring every responsibility, every should could would , and doing what I want instead?
I feel reckless.
I feel wild as I eat Ava’s pussy, bringing her to the edge of her orgasm. I work my thumb over her nipple, stroking it in time to the movement of my tongue between her legs.
Legs that start to shake. Her hand finds my hair again, and she holds on to me as she rides my face, rocking her hips so I hit her just where she likes.
“Sawyer.” She’s practically yelling now, loud enough that her voice echoes inside the room. “Sawyer, Jesus fucking Christ you’re good. You’re so good, cowboy.”
I suck on her clit, drawing it inside my lips. “You taste better, pretty girl.”
“ Sawyer. ” Her feet press into my shoulders and her hand fists in my hair.
She comes. Hard. Shouting and smiling the whole time.
I kiss her pussy as she rides the wave. Her stomach caves and she thrusts out her tits, her nipple meeting with my palm.
The ache between my legs sharpens. Thank God I brought those condoms home from Austin. I hid them in my closet and haven’t touched them since.
Definitely gonna need one—two—now.
Ava finally falls back to earth with a happy sigh.
I press a kiss to her clit. “Feel better?”
“Much—”
“Hellloooooo!”
I go still at the sound of a familiar voice, followed by the clack of my screen door. Ava’s eyes fly open and meet mine.
“Sawyer? You home? I heard some shoutin’—”
“Stay there!” I yell, pushing up onto my knees. “Jesus Christ, Duke, you’re supposed to fuckin’ knock.”
“Where are you?” he shouts back.
I grab Ava’s leggings off the floor, and together we scramble to put them back on.
“I said stay there ,” I reply.
“You okay?” I hear his heavy steps ambling down the hallway toward the kitchen. “We hadn’t heard from you, so I came to check?—”
“I’m fine, okay? Just—stay there. Don’t come back here.”
A beat of silence while I pull down Ava’s shirt and reach for her shoes. I feel slightly less like dying when I see the little grin on her lips.
Ava would enjoy almost being caught. I love how she brings this steady, earthy energy to the room, but isn’t afraid to let go and get a little wild too.
The combination is incredibly sexy.
It’s addictive.
“Wait,” Duke says. “ Wait a minute. Are you?—”
“I have company, yes.”
Another beat of silence. Ava’s face is pink from holding back laughter. Suddenly I’m trying not to laugh, too.
We’re ridiculous.
We really are hot as fuck.
Ava is smoothing her hair with her hands, tucking it behind her ears. I grab a pillow and put it over my very obvious erection.
“Oh.” I can hear the smile in my brother’s voice. “Oh, okay. Then I’ll just?—”
“You can come in now, Duke,” Ava says, reaching over to wipe my mouth with her hand. “I remember you.”
It’s weird hearing Ava say my brother’s name.
The sense of familiarity, of warmth, is also kinda great. I may be bent out of shape by my brother barging in like this, but it doesn’t ruffle Ava’s feathers one bit.
Duke pokes his head into the kitchen. He’s smiling like a Cheshire cat. “Well hey y’all. Good to see you, Ava. I heard you were here in town.”
Duke didn’t come to the barn raising because he had to work cattle at our ranch that day.
Ava offers him a little wave. “Hey, Duke. Great to see you again. And yeah, I mean, pretty crazy, right, that we’d all end up in Hartsville together?”
Duke smirks. “So crazy.”
“Coffee,” I grunt. “We—preschool drop-off—it’s Ava’s daughter’s first day, and?—”
“I was tired and a little emotional.” Ava’s eyes are on mine. They glitter with amusement. “So Sawyer gave me a?—”
“Hug.” Oh, God, now I’m really gonna laugh. My sides hurt from holding it back.
Ava runs her tongue along her bottom lip. “I really needed a hug, yes.”
“Hugs.” Duke leans against the doorframe. He looks at the pillow on my lap, then at the hat Ava knocked onto the floor. “Right. Who doesn’t love those?”
“I should get going,” Ava says, rising off the sofa. “I have a mountain of work to get through.”
I give Duke a death stare as I stand, pulling my shirttail out of my jeans. That should cover my, er, problem. “Why are you here?”
My brother lifts a shoulder. “We thought you were dead. Did you not see anyone’s calls or texts?”
“Um. No.” I reach back to ruffle the hair at my nape. My skin is still alive with the memory of Ava’s touch. “I must’ve left my phone in the car.”
Duke’s eyes bulge. “You really are dead.”
“My brain is, yeah.”
“Does Sawyer not forget things sometimes like a normal human being?” Ava asks.
“Mr. Overachiever Father of the Year?” My brother shakes his head. “Never. Like, never ever.”
Ava looks at me. Despite her attempts to tame her long, blonde hair, it’s still a mess, the strands at her crown sticking up every which way. Her lips are a little swollen. Cheeks still pink.
She’s an animal, shameless and wide awake, and I love it.
My mind already races with thoughts on how I can see her again. Do I propose another playdate with the girls? Start slow? Then maybe ask her out on a date? Or do I just go in for the kill right away, tell her I wanna take her to dinner and then fuck her as many times as she’ll let me?
“I take that as a compliment, Sawyer,” she says. “My hugs are so good that I make you forget things.”
Duke shakes his head. “Hugs, man. When they’re good, they wreck you in the best way.”
“Please stop saying the word hug ,” I snap. “Duke, you wait here. I’m gonna walk Ava out.”
Duke touches the brim of his hat. “Ma’am. Hope to see you around here more often.”
Ava grins as she passes by him. “You were wrong about your brother, you know.”
“Oh yeah?”
“He is a killer.” Her eyes flick to meet mine. “Just not the kind I thought.”
“Interesting. I’m all ears.”
She looks at me, her gaze teasing. “Killer barista. Guy makes a mean cup of coffee. I’m still buzzing.”
Duke lets out a bark of laughter. “I like you, Ava.”
“See ya, Duke.”
I make sure the door is closed behind us after Ava and I step out onto the front porch.
Tucking my hands into the front pockets of my jeans, I rock back on my heels. “Sorry about him. Boundaries aren’t really a thing in my family.”
“I can see that.” Her eyes look translucent in the mid-morning light, a striking shade of hazel-green that makes the pink in her cheeks really pop. “I can also see you being everyone’s safety net, so of course they barge into your house without asking because they know you’ll be there to rescue them.”
I squint, trying to ignore the mushiness in my chest. Ava is smart. Direct. Weird that I find her honesty a turn-on?
“You figured all that out after one cup of coffee, huh?”
“You wear your heart on your sleeve. It’s a big heart, Sawyer.”
That same heart is going apeshit inside my chest. “Because I’m a gentleman, I won’t make a joke about the other big problem I have in my pants right now.”
Ava’s mouth falls open, her eyes going wide. “Oh, no, you pooped, didn’t you? I have wipes in the car?—”
“Stop.” Laughing, I pull my hand out of my pocket and curl it around her upper arm. I give her a gentle shove, which she returns, the two of us clearly still eager to have our hands all over each other.
“You think your heart is a problem?” Her palm rests on my forearm.
“I don’t know. Maybe. Makes life more complicated, I’ll tell you that much.”
She looks at me, strands of her hair catching in the crisp winter breeze. “Big hearts and boundaries are a tough pairing to figure out, I’m sure. Stressful.”
I’m smiling for what feels like the hundredth time this morning. “Very.”
“You might need some relief.”
“I just might, yeah.”
The sun slants onto the porch and warms the front of my legs. I feel that same warmth in my chest as Ava looks at me and I look back.
“Let me take you out.” I glance over my shoulder, making sure Duke isn’t watching us through the nearby window. “Someplace where we won’t be interrupted. Dinner sound good?”
Ava does that thing where she digs her teeth into her bottom lip. “Is there a place to get dinner in Hartsville?”
“I’ll figure something out. Just—I’m not letting you walk away again without getting your number.”
After a beat of heated, extended eye contact, she nods. “Okay. Yeah. I’d love to go out with you.”
“Here.” I start down the steps. “Let me grab my phone. How do I not have your number, by the way?”
Following me, Ava smiles. “I was wondering the same thing.”
“Thank God I finally grew a pair and asked for it.”
“Thank God I’m still alive to give it to you.”
I open the driver’s door of my truck and take my phone off the dash. “Not the kind of killer you thought, right?”
Her eyes glimmer when she replies, “Not in the slightest.”
She gives me her number, and then I slide my phone into my back pocket.
“So,” she says.
“So.” I put my hands on my hips. I have no idea what to do with them. Do I hug her? Kiss her? None of the above?
But Ava, being Ava, doesn’t miss a beat. She holds out her arms and goes up on her toes, pulling me into a tight, flirty embrace, kissing my cheek.
“Thank you,” she murmurs in my ear. “I can’t tell you how much I needed that.”
I press a scruffy kiss to her cheek. “Anytime, pretty girl. Answer when I reach out, yeah?”
She nods, nosing my neck. “I think I can do that.”
“Hope Junie has as much of a great first day as you’re having.”
Pulling back, she looks up at me and smiles. “I was wondering where your cockiness went.”
“Right here, honey.” I grab her hand and put it on my crotch. “Been here the whole time.”
The gesture is lewd, borderline inappropriate. But Ava just keeps smiling, cupping me through my jeans.
“Coffee at my place next time?” she asks.
“Only if you tell me your last name.”
Her lips twitch. “Another thing I haven’t given you.”
“Tell me.”
“Bartlett.”
I meet her eyes. “Ava Bartlett. That suits you.”
“Thanks. I recently went back to my maiden name.”
“Good for you.”
“Thanks. So remember—my place next.”
I’ve half a mind to throw her in the back seat of my truck and have her finish what she started. But my brother is still in the house, and I really need to get to work.
So I lean in and give her a quick kiss on the mouth. “Long as I get to eat you again for breakfast, I’m game.”