24. Annabelle
Annabelle
“We just need one good hit here,” Sawyer says as he, along with Hudson and Lacy, watch one of our own team members step up to the plate.
“That’s Harry, he’s usually pretty good,” Hudson murmurs. I look at my son on first base, having just hit a ground ball and sprinting to secure his spot. Harvey is on second base, and if we win this, we are two for two.
“God, even though it's a kids’ game, it’s still so stressful,” Lacy says with a nervous little shimmy, sealed to Hudson's side, watching their son with pride on their faces, not dissimilar to the expression I have, I’m sure.
“You’ve got this, Harry!” I hear his father yell from somewhere nearby.
God, I swear if I knew kids’ baseball was going to be this nail-biting and anxiety-inducing, then I may have reconsidered my choice to allow Kevin to play.
But as I look at my son on first base, steely determination on his face, I know it was the right move.
“Look at Kevin…” Sawyer says to me.
“I know.” My eyes stay on my son. He’s concentrating hard, taking a step away from the base in preparation to run.
“It’s almost like he knows what's going to happen before it actually does,” he says, as Noah sits comfortably on his broad shoulders, looking over everything and pulling at Sawyer's hair every five minutes. The city lawyer now appears more casual than ever. He’s been in Whispers more often than not for a few weeks now and comes to every game he can.
But it isn’t his looks or his money that have me feeling things I haven’t in a very long time.
It’s the way he’s here, with my son on his shoulders, watching my other son play baseball on a Saturday.
It’s the way he talks to me like I’m his equal, not looking at me with pity, but looking at me like he admires me, desires me, and can’t get enough of me.
And his actions only prove his admiration to be true.
While we’re getting closer, I still see so much of the city in him, and weekends in Whispers aren’t exactly vibrant.
But I’d be lying if I didn’t do a happy dance inside, knowing he wants to spend more time with us.
Should I put my solid walls back up and expect heartbreak?
Maybe. But just like everything else in my life, if it happens, I’ll get through it.
“Here he goes,” Hudson says, and I hold my breath just as the pitch is thrown. Harry hits it well, and Kevin sprints. I had no idea he was that fast, probably from all the running around he does on the farm. He makes it to second and keeps going as the parents start to cheer.
“Go, boys!” Hudson shouts, and I squeeze my hands together as I watch. The ball is being thrown back, but the kids in the field can’t throw too far, one stumbling a bit and dropping the ball, giving us more time.
“Keep going!” Sawyer calls out, and I watch both Harvey and Kevin reach home base, little Harry following behind them and the cohort of us parents cheering and clapping loudly, our kids winning their match, albeit much closer than their last.
“Wow, what a game.” Sawyer looks down at me, grinning from ear to ear.
“Can we go to the playground now?” Noah moans, and I chuckle.
“Sure, honey. Let’s just grab Kevin, and we can all go.”
Sawyer lowers Noah to the ground, and I grab his hand as we make our way over to the team.
“I’ve just got to talk to Bob about something. I’ll be right back.” Sawyer kisses my head, then takes off to the side. As we approach the players, I smile wide at Kevin, who gives me a sheepish grin.
“Good job, honey! You were amazing.” I give him a side hug as we start to say goodbye to all the parents. Looking over to where Sawyer is, I see him still talking to Bob.
“Thanks, Ma.” Kevin’s excitement is palpable at having another good game.
“Good job, Kevin. Brilliant running,” Sawyer says, coming back over to us.
“Thanks,” my son murmurs as he grabs his things.
I look down at the small bag he carries, containing his glove and ball, and my heart clenches as I notice all the other kids with bigger bags, all with more equipment, extra clothes, and fancy looking drink bottles.
“I’ll just go say bye to my friends,” he says before turning and jogging over to the kids, and I watch as they all give each other high fives.
“You alright?” Sawyer asks with a pinched brow. Obviously, my emotions are written all over my face.
“Um, yeah, just… he doesn’t seem to have all the equipment.” I look through Kevin’s bag he left with me, still eyeing the others.
“Still one of the best kids on the team, if you ask me. Probably doesn’t need all the fancy stuff. He has the skill to back it up.”
“You’re right.” I take in a breath, trying to push the feelings of not being good enough out of my body. But it’s always present, my need to provide for my family running strong. I never want my kids to go without.
“Ma… playground…” Noah says impatiently.
“Okay, kiddo, let’s go.” I ruffle his hair, just as Sawyer's phone rings.
“I’ll just take this. Meet you over there.” He frowns, and I lead my little one over to the swings. About ten minutes pass, and Kevin’s still talking with his friends, and Sawyer’s in the distance, looking increasingly concerned on his phone call.
I think about his job then. What he does, what it entails.
Why would a man like Sawyer, who doesn't even really like being in Whispers, even think about me as a long-term prospect? I have this daydream that maybe he’ll stay here.
That our quiet country nights might become something more permanent.
It’s silly, really. He’s a rich, powerful lawyer.
Maybe this is just a nice little side distraction, something to alleviate his stress from city life.
That thought leaves my stomach feeling heavy as Kevin walks up to us, Sawyer now not far behind him.
“Kevin, swing your brother for a bit, and then we’ll go,” I tell him, noticing the tension in Sawyer’s shoulders as he approaches. “You alright?” I ask, sensing something is off.
“Yeah. It’s work. I need to get back to the city and sort out a few things that are pretty urgent, so I’ll get you guys home, and then I have to organize a few things and head to the jet.”
Sawyer kindly drove us today, and the kids were super excited to be in a new truck.
Can’t say I minded it either; it was a nice, smooth drive.
But when he talks about catching his jet in a moment's notice to go back to the city, my uneasiness from moments ago creeps right back in.
The clear difference in our two lives hits me right between the eyes.
“Would you like to stay for dinner before you go?” I’m hopeful, yet the look on his face tells me the answer before he does.
He shakes his head, his gaze seemingly just as disappointed. “I can’t. I need to be in the city by tonight, and then I’ll be there for the week.”
My chest burns, but it’s not reasonable. I have no claim on him at all. He doesn’t live here. This isn’t his life. The life of a high-profile lawyer, a billionaire at that, clearly has him not committing to anyone or anything other than his work.
“Of course.” God, I sound almost needy.
“I have an issue. I need to see my team face-to-face to work it all out.”
I wave him off. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”
Reaching over, he takes my hand. “I do. I planned to spend the weekend with you and the boys, and now I'm rushing around, needing to leave. I don’t want to go. But I need to.”
I nod again, swallowing roughly. “So, how big is your law firm?” I should already know this, but my mind is full of my own workload; I don't spend time thinking about anyone else's.
“My entire team is over two hundred people. They work across corporate and commercial, mainly. But this particular client is one of our criminal cases. I personally don’t do criminal cases very often, since I don’t really enjoy the long trials.”
“Oh, okay.” I’m a little surprised. Managing a business with over two hundred people is a massive responsibility.
I mean, I struggle looking after just me and my two boys and the farm, so I can’t imagine managing that many people or being responsible for putting food on the table for that many families.
God, no wonder he needs to leave. I have to stop thinking about myself so much.
“Are they all in your New York office?”
“I have a small entertainment team in LA that mostly helps me manage my brother's business affairs and a few other actors and producers in the industry. I have about fifty staff over there,” he adds, and I can’t help it when my eyebrows shoot up.
I’m now understanding why he’s hesitant to move to Whispers full-time like Tanner’s wanting. It makes no sense, really.
“And you now have your little office here…” I say, bringing it all together. Even just thinking about his workload is overwhelming. His work is important to him, and this small office in Whispers is never going to be enough for him. I’m never going to be enough for him.
“Yeah, one day, I’m trying to manage a high-profile criminal case, and the next, I’m working for Tanner here, and then the next, I’m meeting my new commitments of sponsoring kids’ baseball in Whispers.
Or on days like today, trying to manage all three at once.
” He releases a heavy breath, and I do the same, nodding my understanding.
“It’s a lot.” I lift my hand, touching my forehead, the gash from a few weeks ago now all healed, but the scar still there. A reminder of what my life is, and it isn’t city trips in a jet, heading off to meetings before enjoying fancy dinners.
His thumb rubs my hand where he still holds it, bringing my gaze back to his.
“I’m not sure what day I’ll be back in Whispers…
” As he looks at me, his brow crumples, like he can read my thoughts.
I mentally try to find those steel walls that were around my heart, the ones I started lowering for him, feeling like I need them back.
“It’s fine. I survived many nights without you before, and I’ll survive many after,” I say, more for my own benefit than for his, but he doesn’t look impressed.
“Make no mistake, Mama…” Stepping closer and bringing us flush, he leans over me, his mouth right near my ear, his breath hot on my cheek.
“I would rather be at your dinner table, eating your food, in your bed, eating your pussy, and falling asleep with you in my arms… than anywhere else… Don’t you for one damn second think any different. ”
My heart skips a beat, my body instantly warm all over, as I soften for this man who says everything I didn’t know I needed to hear.
I look up at him, wide-eyed, to see a very serious expression.
There’s only honesty there in his unwavering stare, in the firm set of his jaw and the slight pinch to his brow.
No one has ever said anything like that to me before, and it was hot as hell.
“Well then…” I clear my throat, looking around to ensure no one heard him. “Looks like I’ll just have to take care of that myself until you return.” With that, I turn around and walk to my boys, biting my lip so I don’t release a full-blown grin as I hear a slight growl come from Sawyer.
He knows I’m independent. I wasn’t lying; I can take care of myself, in every way. So I don’t really need him. But wow, do I want him.