25. Annabelle
Annabelle
I get the boys ready, glancing up at the bright blue sky and feeling good. As I pull my hair back into a pony, my cell chimes, and I grab it immediately, knowing it’s Sawyer.
You sleep alright last night, Mama?
I grin instantly before I reply.
Terrible, you?
Awful. I had a nightmare that those chickens ate my feet.
I burst out with laughter.
We probably need to get you some farm boots.
I send the message, unable to wipe the smile from my face.
Already ordered. Should be arriving at your place later today.
Very efficient of you.
I bought you and the boys some too. So we all have new pairs.
I read his message, and my breath gets caught in my chest.
You didn’t need to do that.
Even though, as I look down, seeing a hole in the toe of mine, the need for new boots is evident. His kindness is one of the things I like most about him. The thoughtful and generous gifts, the sweet and meaningful comments… He builds me up without really doing a thing.
I wanted to. Besides, if the chickens eat your toes, I’m not sure I could cope with that.
I swear, I’m permanently giddy around this man. Before I can reply, another message comes through.
Miss you…
I feel it in my chest. The pull to him, the ache when I know he’s so far away and not sure when he’ll be back.
I miss you too…
I miss the boys…
My breathing halts. My boys are my world, and for him to admit he misses them, too, means more to me than anything.
They miss you too.
They don’t need to say anything; I see it. It’s like they deflate a little when he’s gone.
It’s hard being without you. I don’t like it.
I don’t like it either.
“Ma! Ready!” Noah screams, bringing me back to reality.
Sawyer left us yesterday, giving me a scorching kiss on our porch that I know Kevin and Noah didn’t miss.
I heard Noah giggle, and Kevin just rolled his eyes, so on our morning walk today, I thought I would talk to him about it.
Even though Sawyer’s been around a lot, we don’t show much affection in front of them.
Even after Kevin asked Sawyer if he was my boyfriend, I’ve been hesitant.
Like I was waiting to see if he’d bring it up to me, too.
But I think the time for waiting is over.
I quickly shoot off another text to tell him we’ll talk later, then pocket my cell as the boys join me.
“Ready?” I look at them both, about to start our usual Sunday morning stroll around the back of the property to check the lavender. “It’s a great morning.”
“Ready!” they reply in unison, and we get to walking.
Noah runs to the side, not able to stick to a slow pace, grabbing a daisy and plucking it from the ground.
“Here, Ma.” He passes it to me, and my smile is instant.
“Thank you, honey.” I make a show of putting the daisy to my nose and smelling it, before placing it behind my ear, where it will, no doubt, get tangled in my hair at some point.
I turn to my older son as we wander over the hill, getting a full view of the farm. “How do you feel after your game yesterday, Kev?”
“Good. We’re a great team.” His expression brightens, and I smile at the sight.
“Well, we were all cheering.”
“I heard, Ma.” I don’t miss the grin he tries to hide. He might be embarrassed by me cheering for him, but I also know he loves it.
“Did you hear Sawyer? He was cheering too.” I hold my breath, and his smile falters a little.
“Yeah.”
“Do you like having him around? Here at the farm and coming to your games?” I swallow, my nerves starting to fester.
“He’s okay.” Kevin shrugs. “Doesn’t seem like he’ll know what to do around here much, though.”
I chuckle. “No. No, he doesn’t. But he’s smart, and he has lots of other great skills.”
“Is he your boyfriend?”
I stop short. Here we go, the moment I was waiting for. And I thought I’d be more prepared with an answer.
“Oh, um, well, we’re just getting to know each other.
” I’m not sure how in depth to go with this.
It’s new territory for us. “But if you don't like him, then he doesn’t come around anymore. This is your home, Kevin, and I need to know if you don’t like or don’t want Sawyer to be in it.
” It would break me, but my sons have to come first.
“I like having him around,” he admits, offering me a soft smile. “I like him coming to watch me play. I like that he makes you smile.”
My eyes burn with tears. “He does make me smile. Are you okay with him being around more? Spending the nights, staying with us regularly?” I’m not really sure if Sawyer will be, but I want to make sure Kevin knows he has a say in what happens in his safe haven.
He nods, giving me a side hug that warms my heart. “Yeah, I’m okay with it, Ma.”
Both of us smiling and walking side by side, we notice Noah’s gotten into something up ahead.
“Uh-oooohhhhh.” I wonder what trouble he’s found.
“What’s happened now?” I look at Noah from top to toe, seeing nothing amiss.
“Ma!” Kevin’s voice has my body stiff. I look to where he’s pointing in the direction of my fields, and I feel life slowly leave my body.
“What?” I barely squeak out as I step forward, then take another step, then another before I’m running, my boys right behind me.
“No… No… No!” I shout as I get closer, my limbs shaking.
The entire far field of lavender, my best producing field, is in disarray.
The plants chopped, pulled out, and raked over.
I search every plant, look up and around at every nearby field, wondering what the hell has happened.
My chest tightens, my mouth going dry, my eyes watering as my heart pounds so hard and fast, I feel lightheaded.
“Ma… What happened?” Kevin asks tentatively, just as distraught.
As I gaze along the fence line, I see something.
Walking over to get a better view, I suck in a sharp breath when I see the metal wires have been cut, which could only be done by using bolt cutters, making a hole in the fence big enough for a person or persons to fit through.
Clearly, whoever it was came in via Bob’s land, so the neighborly thing to do would be to call him, maybe see if he has seen or heard anything.
Let him know that he might have had unwanted visitors on his property.
This side of his land is left well alone, because he’s so busy with the hardware store and managing the kids’ baseball team and he doesn’t run any cattle or crops over this way anymore.
But there’s no damage to his land at all, just the fence.
I swallow down the bile that’s rising and come to the mental conclusion that I can’t tell him, because then he’ll start asking questions, wondering why my land is ruined while his isn’t and I don’t have any answers.
“I don’t know. Maybe horses,” I tell Kevin, wishing that it was, but knowing there are no horses in this field, and there haven’t been for a long time. And it doesn’t matter if there were, since there’s no way an animal could chew through a steel fence.
“Never knew horses could chew through a metal fence.” He’s a smart boy. He knows I’m lying.
I take a deep breath and look down at my son.
The whole thing almost topples me over, and I take another deep breath, looking between him and Noah, knowing that even though I want to fall to my knees and scream, cry, and give up, instead I need to keep going.
I’m all they’ve got, and I can’t stop now.
“We’ve got a bit of a mess to clean up now. We best get to the shed and grab some tools,” I tell them, shaking off any bad feelings and putting on a brave face. It works on Noah, but Kevin frowns.
“Ma, I’m scared.”
“Nothing is going to happen, Kevin. It’s just some wild horses, okay?” I try to alleviate his concerns even though mine are growing. I have no idea what’s going on here on the farm lately, but I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.