Chapter 13
13
RYLAN
I swore, a mirage sat in front of me. Maybe the California sunshine had rotted my brain. Maybe the lady who’d sidled up next to me at the bar in the airport had slipped something in my drink last night and it was just now starting to affect me. Maybe it was still last night, and this was all nothing more than a dream.
Just another dream—another nightmare —that would tear me to shreds.
Joss turned her beautiful blue eyes on me, and it took everything in me not to fall in love with her all over again. She was just as gorgeous as I remembered. Tanned and perfect from her head down to her toes, and I couldn’t even see that far.
Her lips curled into a hint of a smile before she let out a whisper I could barely hear. “Rylan?”
“Hello, wife .”
Joss flinched, though I wasn’t sure if it was from years’ worth of pent-up anger spitting out of me or something else. I curled my fingers around the counter, leaning closer.
Drawn to her.
“I can’t believe you’re actually here.” She lifted her hand like she wanted to touch me, but she stopped when I jerked back out of her reach.
“I can’t believe you actually exist .”
“I can explain.” She tangled her fingers in her long, dark hair, pulling it off one side of her neck.
I bit back a groan, because her scent wafted toward me, overpowering my senses. I could still remember the feel of her skin against my lips, and if I wasn’t careful, that’s exactly where I’d end up.
Back in her clutches.
Back in her lying, thieving hands.
“Rylan Dennis!” A man’s voice hit like a shockwave, startling Joss so she jumped from her chair. I was startled too, except my first instinct was to go to her, and that wouldn’t do.
Turning my gaze to the man at the end of the hallway, I forced a smile I didn’t feel. “Van Thaylor. I knew it was just a matter of time before Lee got his hooks in you.”
Van took my hand in a brutal grip, same as he always did. “Says the man who gave me glowing reviews time and time again.” He let go, then leaned against the counter.
“Good to finally have you,” I told him, though I was having trouble summoning up the words while it felt like he was putting himself between me and Joss.
“Good to finally be here. I see you met our new admin.”
I turned my gaze back on my wife. “Not quite.”
“This is Joss Monroe. Joss, this is Rylan Dennis, the biggest asshole this side of the Mississippi.”
Faking a smile, I extended my hand to her. I wanted to die the minute she slipped hers into mine.
It was Vegas all over again. One look at her and that was it for me. I was over. I was done for.
My mouth dried up and I forced myself to lick my lips, to try to find a way to keep her from affecting me. “ Monroe , huh? Interesting name you got there.”
She slid her hand out of mine, took her hair off her shoulder and pulled it over to the other, and gave me a small smile that left my heart quivering.
Van edged closer to me, blocking even more of my view of the woman who’d completely wrecked me. “You know your next assignment?”
With a shake of my head, I tore my attention away from Joss. “Lee hasn’t told me what it is yet. Said something about coming in this morning and hopefully finding out.”
Van turned at the counter and hatred like I’d never felt before burned through me. I wanted to pummel him the minute his gaze landed on Joss.
“You get that far?”
She shook her head and—holy shit, was she trembling? Every protective instinct inside of me lit up. I wanted to bash Van in the face and jump over the counter so I could take her in my arms. I wanted to hold her. Comfort her. Let her know that I’d always?—
No.
No, I couldn’t do that again. I couldn’t lose myself to her because what we had wasn’t real.
I may have thought I loved her, but it wasn’t true. She proved that to me by running away.
“—isn’t complete.” Joss tossed a folder to the counter in front of her, and I cursed myself for getting lost in her again. “It’s like Cael’s file but different. Cael shows as ‘on assignment’ but there’s no client listed. But with Rylan…”
Did her cheeks turn pink when she said my name? I couldn’t be sure.
But I could be sure the little thief stole my breath right from my lungs when she peeked up at me under her lashes.
“…there’s no assignment on his chart.”
“We’ll have to talk to Lee when he gets in.” Van clapped his hand down on my shoulder. “Looks like you’re stuck with us.”
A grin pulled at my face, tempered only by the gorgeous woman trying to busy herself with her files so I wouldn’t notice her looking at me. “There are worse things in the world.”
Van laughed, pulling his hand away as he shook his head. “See what I mean, Joss? Biggest asshole this side of the Mississippi.”
I waved my hand between them, drawing his attention away from her. “Is there a mirror here? You talking about yourself?”
He laughed again. “Always the funny man.” He lifted his chin toward the front door. “You had lunch yet? Joss and I were gonna step out to the deli down the street. You’re welcome to come if you’d like.”
Joss’s shoulders inched toward her ears, and Van’s brows pulled into a V, and he amended, “That is, if it’s okay with her.”
“What? No.” She grabbed for her hair—fucking hell, the mere sight of her neck made my pants uncomfortably tight—and shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I’m not really— I’m just going?—”
“I’d love to come.” I rubbed my palms together and tilted my head to one side. “It’ll be great to get to know my new coworkers.”
“Really, I shouldn’t?—”
“You have to eat, Joss,” Van told her, turning a stern look her way. “You’ve been working non-stop since we got here this morning, and I can guarantee you didn’t bother eating breakfast.”
“Van—”
“Joss.”
Hell, even I would whither under the look he gave her. “Come on, gorgeous.” I reached across the desk before I realized I’d even done it, and I tried to tamp down the hurt that cropped up when she didn’t reach for my hand. I shouldn’t have expected her to. I shouldn’t have wanted her to. I smiled. “It’ll be fun.”
She gave in with the same reluctance you’d expect from someone going to face the firing squad. It was thick in the air as she locked her computer and grabbed her purse. It got thicker as Van helped her into her coat and hung back, waiting for her to walk first.
I led the way, conscious of her presence with every step I took, and even more conscious of the way Van hovered beside her, placing himself between us every chance he could get.
The deli was busy, the line nearly out the door. We squeezed inside and it took everything in me to maintain the space between me and Joss. Especially when she cozied right up beside Van, and I swore I saw him take hold of her hand. The edges of my vision blurred and turned red, and I tried to breathe through it, tried to remind myself she wasn’t mine. That I didn’t even know her and everything she told me was a lie.
When we finally made it to the counter, Joss suddenly took off, and nothing I’d been telling myself seemed to stick.
“Where’s she going?” Panic gripped me and I wanted to bolt after her, to stop her from leaving me again.
“She’s grabbing us a table.” Van stepped forward in line, then turned back to me. “This place is packed, and we didn’t want to get our food and have nowhere to sit. I’ve got her order.”
He gave that order to the cashier, and I forced myself to take a deep breath. Across the restaurant, Joss pulled an empty chair over to a table meant for two and took a seat.
She was staying. She hadn’t run away again. I wasn’t sure if what I felt was comfort, but I tried to let it go.
My order was up seconds after Van’s, and I grabbed my tray and followed him through the crowded restaurant to Joss’s side. She gave him a wide smile which tempered when she turned it on me. She ducked her chin as I took a seat next to her. Then she pulled the bread off the top of her food and promptly pushed away from the table.
“Oh, shoot. They gave me turkey instead of ham.” She grabbed her tray and stood, only for Van to clamp his hand down on hers before snatching the tray from her.
“I’ll get it.”
“No, Van, it’s okay, I’ll?—”
“Sit.” I watched Joss flinch at his tone before she slowly sank to her seat. “I’ll take care of it.”
With him gone, Joss’s gaze darted to me before she fumbled with the thick gloves she’d left on the table. I leaned back in my chair and wanted to curse when I caught a hit of her delicious scent.
“Joss Monroe, huh? That’s an interesting name you’ve got.”
“I can explain.”
“So you said. Is it going to be more lies?”
“Rylan, I didn’t?—”
Leaning forward, I cut her off. “Bullshit. I looked everywhere for you. There’s no fucking Joss Monroe in North Dakota or Minnesota. Not a single fucking one.”
“I changed my name.”
“Likely.”
“I did, Rylan, I—” She lifted her gaze and tried on a smile. “Hey! That was quick.”
“They handed me the wrong one.” Van slid the tray in front of Joss and took a seat. “You two look like you’re getting along.”
“Joss was just telling me where she’s from.” I turned my attention back to her, watching as she dipped her chin, tucked her hair behind her ear, and picked at the corner of her sandwich.
“Yeah?” Van didn’t appear to notice the way she’d shut herself off. She’d done the same thing in Vegas, and it had taken time I’d been more than willing to spend to get her to open up. “You tell him about the zoo?”
Joss shook her head, glancing up at me.
“Zoo?” She’d mentioned a zoo in Vegas, and after failing to find her, I figured it was just one more lie.
“Her parents own the zoo I went to as a kid. Can you believe that? We’re practically neighbors!”
Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink that I was sure had nothing to do with the cold outside and everything to do with the asshole digging into his sandwich as if the two of us weren’t even there.
“We weren’t quite neighbors,” she murmured. “There’s a few hours between where we grew up.”
Lifting an eyebrow, I asked Van, “Wait. Where are you from?”
“North Dakota,” he said, speaking around the hunk of bread and roast beef he had in his mouth before he swallowed. “It’s fuckin’ wild, man. The fact that we both start the same day, we’re both from North Dakota, and I’ve been to the fucking zoo she grew up in? Crazy.”
Shifting my attention back to the woman who I’d thought told me nothing but lies, I asked, “A literal zoo?”
And as she had back in Vegas, she told me, “A literal zoo. With tigers and bears and all that.”
“And bison.” Van sat back and pointed at her. “First time I’d seen one up close was at the zoo. Of course, they roam all over the place where I’m from, but I’d never gotten that close until then.”
He went back to his sandwich, and I forced myself to take a bite of mine. Joss picked at hers, and it made me think she was getting ready to take off.
Before she could, Van was talking again. “You just got back from Cali?”
Joss stilled in picking apart her sandwich, though she didn’t look at me. I swallowed my mouthful, then took a drink from my soda. “Yeah, landed this morning.”
“What were you doing out there?” Van asked.
I shrugged and forced a grin. “Enjoying the sunshine.”
Joss peeked up from her sandwich as Van continued grilling me. “You go by yourself?”
“Yeah.”
“Thought maybe you had someone out there. Lee mentioned you took off unexpectedly.”
No longer picking at her sandwich, Joss turned her full attention on me. I looked right at her as I answered. “No, no one out there. Last time I was with someone, she lied and stole something from me I haven’t been able to get back.”
“Shit man,” Van said, oblivious to the hurt look on Joss’s face, “that’s tough. Anything I can do to help?”
“Nah.” I pushed the last of my sandwich aside and grabbed my drink. “Just watch who you associate with. Sometimes the biggest thieves come in the prettiest packages.”
He nodded like he understood. Like he had any idea the pain this woman at his side had caused.
But he couldn’t.
Even I hadn’t fully understood it. As I sat there next to her, as she shied away from me like it was me that hurt her , I was finding all new levels of pain.
Van prodded Joss to finish her meal even though she insisted she was full. After she wrapped up her leftovers, we donned our coats and headed back out in the cold.
In the office once again, Van waved as he tromped off to the back of the building. “Catch you two later. Got some shit I need to finish up.”
Joss busied herself at the front desk, shuffling papers before disappearing into the kitchenette with her abandoned sandwich. She came out a few minutes later holding a cup of coffee. She stopped in her place, staring at me where I’d settled in one of the chairs in the lobby. My feet were on the table, and one of the magazines that’d been stacked in the magazine rack was in my hands.
And I wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon.