Chapter 15
15
RYLAN
Every morning when Joss arrived at work, I was camped out in my chair in the lobby.
Every day, I sat there unless I was needed elsewhere.
And not once, since that first day, did she go home with Van.
Something in me was thrilled about that fact, but it didn’t make me feel any better. The girl was a wounded animal, and somehow it felt like my presence just made it worse.
But I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t walk away from her like she had to me. Two and a half years hadn’t taken away my feelings for her, even if they were now laced with anger and pain.
Hell, even walking out of the office to go to work with Van and Kolton felt like I was tearing out my heart and leaving it behind.
“Lee was right,” I said as I pulled my car into a parking spot in the lot after our second appointment of the day. “You’re good, kid.”
Beside me, Kolton beamed like a child instead of a twenty-something year old man that he was. “Thank you. I appreciate you say?—”
Van reached over the seat back and scruffed up the kid’s hair. “And so damn humble, too.”
Kolton looked over his shoulder as he tried to smooth his hair into place. “It helps that I have such old”—he coughed—“I mean, good teachers.”
Laughter shot through me, then doubled as Van tried to look hurt. “He got you there!”
“You’re nearly my age!”
“You’re two years older than me!”
Van grabbed my finger I had pointed at him and shook his head. “One and a half.”
“One and three quarters.”
Kolton raised his hand like he was still in school. “Actually, you’re both kinda old.”
Van’s mouth dropped open. “And here I thought I liked you.”
Kolton ducked his head, but I didn’t give him a chance to sulk. “He’s just kidding, kid. Stick around long enough, you’ll learn we’re all assholes.”
“I have a feeling he’s going to fit in just fine.” Van scruffed up his hair again, and once again, Kolton tried to smooth it.
“To be honest,” I told them, reaching for my door handle, “with the way these last two appointments went, Kolton should be training you, Van.”
“See what I mean?” Van pointed at me. “Asshole.”
We climbed from my truck, Van and I heading toward the front door. I looked around and noticed Kolton hanging back.
“I think I’m going to hit the gym. Gotta get some excess energy out.”
“Sounds like a plan. Good work today.”
“Thank you. See you tomorrow.”
As Kolton climbed into his car, Van and I rounded the building. He tipped his head toward the sky as I pulled the door open, and he let out a groan.
“I can’t wait until the new office is up and running. Having a gym at work is going to be the best thing about it. I still have to hit the gym tonight too.”
I cast a glance over to the front desk where Joss sat buried in paperwork. “I don’t know. A gym will be nice, but I’m more excited about that ice cream machine. Right, gorgeous?”
She couldn’t hide her smile, and it made me feel like I’d won a fucking jackpot. It felt like her smiles were never meant for me, even though I tried every day to catch one.
Joss tucked a loose hair behind her ear, but it didn’t want to stick. Her ponytail was crooked, pulled off to one side of her head, and half of it seemed to hover around her like a halo.
“You and that machine.”
I rubbed my palms together. “Best idea ever.”
Joss dipped her head, and her smile fled her lips. I knew why. The ice cream machine was Kelly’s idea. The whole move was. And Kelly was a touchy topic these days.
We’d finally found her. Just days ago, the call had come in. I’d raced to the scene with Lee and got there in time to see her being wheeled out of an apartment building on a stretcher.
Lee raced to her and surprised the hell out of me when he kissed her like he’d never see her again.
I hadn’t realized their relationship was like that. He’d never let on that he had feelings for Kelly, and I wasn’t sure what to think. She’d been in his care for a month before she disappeared. She’d been living with him in his safehouse and, from what I’d heard from Weston and Zane, the two of them never came out.
Shaking my head, I tapped my fist on Joss’s desk and headed to my uncomfortable-as-hell chair near the windows. Van snagged my arm before I could, giving me a sharp tug.
“Let me show you that thing we were talking about.” The look on his face was just as confusing as his words—we hadn’t fucking been talking about a thing . But he didn’t give me a choice. He tugged harder until I could do nothing but follow after him.
He led me down the hallway to the back room where he spent so much of his free time. Once inside, he closed the door that always stayed open.
“You know she’s married, right?”
If I thought I was confused before, it had nothing on this. “What are you talking about?”
“Joss. She’s married.”
My eyebrows climbed my forehead, and it took a moment to get my mouth to work. “To who?”
Van shook his head, moving toward the makeshift desk he’d set up for himself. He plopped down in his chair. “Don’t know his name. Don’t even know the whole story. All I know is, it’s complicated and they don’t talk much. I honestly think it has something to do with the car accident she was in a couple years ago.”
My knees shook as I glanced at the door behind me. The door that was closed, that was standing between me and Joss. I grabbed for the closest thing to sit on, which happened to be a box full of files. I hoped it held my weight. “What accident? What are you talking about?”
Van reached for the mouse and gave it a shake, not looking at me as he logged into the computer. “It was in all the newspapers for miles around.” He was quiet but for his fingers tapping across the keys. When he sat back, he pointed at his screen.
Still shaking, I rose from my seat and went to his side. I could barely focus on the words, couldn’t make it past her name at the top of the article.
Joslyn Ward.
Beside me, Van read the screen aloud, and I’d never been more grateful.
“Joslyn Ward… hospitalized after a rollover accident… what appears to be a domestic violence case. Um… here. Peter Wright, son of city Councilman, Wayne P. Wright, was also in an accident nearby. But he was taken to the hospital and released.”
DB Peter.
Fucking douchebag.
“There was speculation that another accident nearby, involving Cheyenne Macawi, was somehow related to the breaking and entering charges Wright filed against Macawi’s brother, Dakota Macawi, the next day. Says here both Cheyenne and Dakota were hospitalized.”
Cheyenne . I remembered that name. Once, as Joss caught sight of herself in one of the dresses she’d tried on, I heard her mutter something that sounded like, “If only Cheyenne could see this.”
I’d asked her what she’d said, but she’d shook it off and told me she felt beautiful.
And that was all the distraction I needed to move on from that thought.
“So apparently,” Van continued, “Peter?—”
“Douchebag,” I muttered.
He nodded. “Peter ran Cheyenne and Joss off the road after braining Dakota and leaving him for dead. Dakota was arrested and Peter was let go.”
“Why? How could they let him go after that?” I pulled my eyes away from the screen in time to catch Van’s shrug.
“Discrimination. You’ve got the son of a well-respected politician versus a known criminal and his sister, who just happen to have the wrong bloodline.”
“Did Joss tell you all this?” I held my breath, hating that I had to ask. Hating that he knew this information when I did not.
“No. Just that she was married and that her ex shattered her hand with the same baseball bat he took to Dakota’s head before he chased her in his car and sent her flying into a ravine. Fractured her hand and had to get a pin put in her wrist. She still has problems with it to this day, especially in the cold.”
“Fucking douchebag.”
“I can think of a lot worse names.”
I could think of a lot worse names too. Specifically, his name etched on a gravestone that I’d gladly carve myself.
My chest ached and my mind spun. This was a lot to take in. All that had happened to her. All of it documented in newspapers.
All that I hadn’t been able to find because I hadn’t known her real name.
Van stood and gripped my shoulder. “She’s married. She’s got a lot on her plate.”
I glanced up at him, narrowing my eyes. “And?”
“And, maybe lay off her? Your constant flirting makes her uncomfortable.”
“Did she tell you that?” All I’d seen was her tentativeness flying away in the face of every compliment I gave her.
Van gave me a look I couldn’t decipher. “She doesn’t have to. I can see it plain as day. Did you not notice the way she clammed up the minute you called her gorgeous ?”
No. No, I hadn’t. What I’d noticed was the way she’d gone quiet when her thoughts turned to Kelly. Joss was nothing if not a caring woman who hurt for other people’s pain.
“Just lay off, okay?” Van scooted behind me, heading for the door as I fell into the chair he’d just vacated, eyes locked on his screen. “Shut it down when you’re done?”
I nodded without looking up from the article about the accident. The truth about what happened to my wife the day she left our wedding bed, and I’d nearly lost her for good.
Working through article after article, I learned everything I could about Joss, Peter, and the Macawis. The anger I held against Joss morphed until it was no longer directed at her, and solely directed at the man who’d beat her time and time again. Until the vibrant woman she was had been hidden in the shadows that hovered over her head when I first saw her.
That still hovered over her today.
Was I the only one who could see the way she trembled when Lee yelled at us men? The same way she shook and jumped when a car backfired on the Strip? She’d lived in terror for years, in constant fear of being beaten by this douchebag, Peter Wright.
This douchebag that’d gotten the lightest sentence possible for nearly killing three people within the span of ten minutes.
I was lucky. There was no other explanation. It was nothing but luck that’d brought Joss and I together. Nothing but luck that we’d found each other again. I couldn’t hate her. I couldn’t hold onto the anger I’d been carrying for so long.
Not after all she’d been through.
Not if I wanted a chance at being with her again.
Husband and wife.
After shutting down Van’s computer, I switched off the light and headed back up front. From the end of the long hallway, I could see Joss wasn’t at her desk. I peeked in Lee’s office, hoping to catch a glimpse of her.
Only to find Lee, arms sprawled across his desktop with his face smooshed against the wood.
“You okay, boss?”
Lee opened his eyes—eyes that could have been some fucked up Christmas ornaments with the way the whites around the emerald green had turned red. Slowly, he peeled himself off the desk and sat back in his chair. Wiped the back of his hand across his lips before tucking both hands into his armpits.
Closing himself off.
“I left her.” His normally booming voice was as close to a hushed whisper as I’d ever heard it.
Taking a seat in the chair across from his desk, I asked, “How’s she doing?”
Lee shook his head. “Don’t know. I left her. Told her parents I couldn’t do this anymore. It’s not healthy for either of us. Kelly—” His voice broke. “She needs more help than I can give her.”
“Maybe it’s for the best,” I offered, hating myself for even uttering the words. “She’s gotta focus on getting her own shit worked out before she can make space for you.”
He scowled and my thoughts flashed to Joss. How she’d be trembling in her seat if she were here, seeing what I was seeing. How his anger would have her cowering and trying to get away.
The same way she had my first day back, when all his anger was directed at me for being a shithead and taking off.
“I fucking left her, Dennis. I love her. I can’t think of anything but her. But she left me, and I did everything in my power to find her and bring her home. And then I fucking left her.”
“I understand?—”
“You can’t fucking understand!” His voice trembled like an earthquake, shaking him and the entire room.
I raised my hands, fending off his anger while mine built. “You got me, boss. It’s not like I’ve ever been in love or married or had my wife walk out on me before.”
Lee’s brows furrowed, but I lowered my hands, wiping my palms down my thighs.
“Look, what’s done is done,” I told him, and watched as he tightened his hold around his chest. “No matter how much it hurts, you have to do what’s right for the both of you.”
He turned his face away. I hated this for him. That he was going through the exact same thing I had, only for him, it was of his own making.
He had to make his own decisions. He had to do what was right for him.
And I needed to do what was right for me.
Rising from my seat, I placed my palm on his desk, leaning closer. When he didn’t look up, I told him what I needed to say anyway. “You need anything, you know I’m here. I may be a shit friend some days, but I’ve got your back. Just let me know what you need.”
I turned and walked away when he did no more than dip his head. He’d come around, eventually. I hoped. I hoped he’d see he did what needed to be done for both their sakes.
Intending to head for home, I walked toward the lobby and the cold Chicago night, only to catch lights flickering out of the corner of my eye, coming from the kitchenette. Inside, sitting at the tiny table, was Joss. She had her fingertip in her mouth, her eyes glued to the screen of her tablet.
And just like always, the sight of her stole my breath away.
I watched her for a few minutes, until she moved to tap the screen. A new video came up, and I realized what it was she was watching. Video compilations of car accidents and stupid drivers—people driving too close to the edge of a cliff and sliding down hills; people getting rear-ended because some numbskull didn’t have the patience to wait his turn; people having their cars practically demolished in high-speed chases gone wrong.
Joss wrung her hands, flexing her left before she lifted her finger back to her lips. And there, where I never noticed it before, was the one thing other than my hopes and dreams she’d stolen when she left my bed: her wedding band. Bent and misshapen, but still right where I’d placed it two and a half years ago.
My wife.
On quiet feet, I came up behind her. My hand hovered over her shoulder, taking in the warmth she emitted, letting it reach for me the way I constantly wanted to reach for her. Finally, when I couldn’t take the torture anymore, I let it fall lightly upon her.
She jumped slightly before she turned her face up toward mine. There she was, the woman I’d fallen in love with. The woman who left me to deal with her own demons and got lost along the way.
Fate brought us back together, and I was done trying to fight it.
Now, I only wanted to fight for her.
I cleared my throat. Gave her shoulder a light squeeze. “Kentucky.”
“What?” Her brow furrowed, just like Lee’s, though hers made me want to kiss her confusion away.
“I’m from Kentucky. Tiny little town close to the Illinois and Indiana borders.”
Joss’s lips twitched before the corners pulled up into a smile. She covered my hand with hers, and that touch, that look on her face, broke something inside me.
Or maybe…
Maybe it was healing me instead.