Forty-Eight
I’m still figuring it out
I might look like I have it together
I just want this to last forever
‘Figuring It Out’ from The Brink of Teenage Freedom
My first university acceptance arrives later that day. A small one in London.
I gasp as I see the email in my inbox. I immediately tell Faye and Kira and we agree to meet up to celebrate after my work day. I don’t tell Ty. I haven’t spoken to him since yesterday.
In a few hours we’re in the coffee shop, clinking cups together.
‘To Selena Pia figuring it out,’ says Kira.
‘Well, there’s a lot of things I haven’t figured out,’ I say.
‘Would that be a certain next-door neighbour?’ says Faye.
‘I can’t believe I’ve tried and failed with two next-door neighbours in the space of a month,’ I say.
‘Maybe you should try boys who live more than a few metres away from you,’ suggests Kira. ‘Try one road over next time.’
‘At least we can make jokes about my sadness,’ I say, rolling my eyes.
‘Hey, if you can’t laugh, you’re going to cry,’ says Kira. ‘It’s better this way.’
‘Also, doesn’t it feel like a lifetime since Ollie?’ I say. ‘I can’t believe how much I liked him, considering how terrible he was!’
‘He was not always terrible,’ says Faye.
‘Beg to differ,’ mutters Kira.
‘He was always an arse to you, but he did love Selena. At least once upon a time he did,’ says Faye. ‘You could see it. He just changed, we all have. I think that’s what being eighteen is about.’
‘Well, my grown-up choice is I’ve decided to let Ty go,’ I say firmly.
‘What does that mean?’
‘It means Ty feels he has to go, and who am I to stop him. If he’s determined, I’ve got to let him go.’
Faye is shaking her head. ‘He likes you, you like him – why are you both making this so complicated?’
‘Because his dad is insisting he goes!’
‘Is that the whole of it?’ says Faye, looking at me pointedly.
I crumble. Damn, she’s good.
‘What if it doesn’t work out?’ I mumble into my coffee.
‘What?’ says Kira.
‘With Ollie, I thought he would be the one, and he clearly isn’t. What if it doesn’t work with Ty either?’
‘Selena, you are smart and beautiful and have everything going for you,’ says Kira, taking my hands. ‘And Ty is one of the good ones. You can’t put yourself down like this.’ She pauses, thinking. ‘But maybe this is one of those things not in your control. You’ve got to have hope.’
‘Sure, I’ll also hope I’ll win this interview competition, then everything will work out fine,’ I say, semi-sarcastically.
‘And why won’t you win the competition?’ says Kira.
‘Because the deadline is tonight at midnight and I’ve not interviewed anyone! Forget winning the competition, I’m not even going to enter it.’
‘Selena,’ says Kira, leaning forwards. ‘You cannot not enter. It’s fine if you don’t win, but you have to try.’
‘I’ve been trying! I’ve been calling up places. I nearly had Annie Banannie, but she had a family emergency. But I don’t know anyone good enough to interview!’
‘Well, if you really can’t find anyone, you can interview me,’ says Kira sitting back. ‘And don’t tell me I’m not good enough to interview. They’d be pulling it from the archives in twenty years’ time, when I’m running the country.’
I laugh and shake my head. Kira always has a plan.
‘But I’m sure there’s the perfect interviewee out there,’ Kira says. And Faye nods.
‘You know what?’ I say, looking at them both.
‘What?’ they chorus.
‘I really hate it when you’re both right.’