Chapter 20
twenty
WREN
Ryan Haart is kissing me. And oh, does he know how to kiss.
I open my mouth. Ryan crashes into me, tasting like fresh air and danger.
It’s greedy, messy, and perfect. I arch against him, his pulse heavy on my lips.
My skin prickles with desire. Before I know it, I am straddling him.
The friction between us makes my head spin.
I’m grinding against him, feeling him, hard through his jeans.
All I can think is more . He groans against my mouth, the sound vibrating through me.
“You’re killing me, Chirp,” he murmurs, breathless, leaving me breathless, too.
“I’m killing you?” I whisper, a laugh bubbling up, the tension electric between us. I’m surprised by how bold I feel, emboldened by everything that’s happened tonight. “Then why don’t we take this to the bedroom?”
He pulls back slightly. I can see his eyes gleaming in the dim light, wild and mischievous.
He scoops me up over his shoulder like I’m a sack of flour, but it feels more like I’m his prize.
I’m so surprised I let out a tiny, involuntary squeak that makes him chuckle as he carries me down the hallway.
He deposits me on his bed with a grin that makes my stomach flip.
I laugh and flop back, catching my breath, trying to make sense of this.
“You’re such a caveman, Haart,” I tease. But there’s heat in my voice, in the room, everywhere. This is happening.
He hovers over me, his breath hot on my skin. I pull at his shirt, needing it off, needing everything off. He complies, a flash of his bare chest in the dim light. I think about how I am undressing him again with more than just my eyes this time.
We fumble with my shirt, our fingers tangling, my hands shaking with urgency. When I tug it off, he pushes it down my shoulders. It feels like a small victory, but I want so much more.
He stops, breathes, takes me in. His eyes are like a touch, moving over my skin. I want to cover myself, but more than that, I want him to finish what he started.
“You’re staring,” I say, my voice coming out soft and impatient.
“I won’t be rushed.” His gaze is unwavering, full of want. “Let me memorize you, Chirp.”
The way he says it makes my heart stutter. It’s like he’s waiting for permission, like he means every word.
I arch my back and part my thighs, wide, while my cheeks blaze.
His eyes, hungry and bright, never leave me, like I’m the last game of the season and he must win.
My deliberate display breaks the last of his resolve.
He growls, lunges, and is on me. His mouth finds my breasts, kisses trailing down my stomach.
I am slick and ready when he touches me. It’s like a fuse igniting.
“Is that all for me?” he asks, breathless.
“That’s what you do to me,” I manage, not quite a whisper, not quite a shout.
Ryan shifts between my legs, his touch like fire. His fingers rub over my clit in the slowest of circles. Pleasure pulses through me, my head tipping back.
“Please,” I beg, writhing under his hands. “I need more.”
He’s smiling, I can hear it in his voice. “You’ll get it, Chirp. But first this.”
Then his mouth is on me, kissing my thighs, kissing my wet heat.
I’m dizzy, delirious, and already close.
His tongue does something that makes me cry out, makes my fingers tangle in his hair, makes the world around me dissolve.
I’m not used to this, not used to him, my body on fire, barely able to breathe.
“Fuck,” I gasp. His low laughter rumbles against me.
I didn’t know I could want anything this much. “Please, Ryan,” I plead, words escaping like gasps. “I want your cock.”
He doesn’t let up, just intensifies, his mouth and hands like sin.
My body arches, a bow pulled tight. I explode against him.
I see stars. I can’t hear my own cries. It doesn’t stop, keeps going, again and again.
He moves up my body, holding me as I shudder, and captures my mouth with his, letting me taste the wild and wicked flavor of myself.
I don’t know how I’m even alive after that. I feel molten, barely holding it together. His weight is on me. It feels incredible. I reach down, fumbling for him, desperate to touch him.
“Ryan,” I breathe.
“Do you even know what you want?” he teases, breath hot on my neck, hands making the rest of my body catch fire.
I shift and press against him. His erection is so hard against my thigh I can’t help but moan. I catch his lips again, tasting myself on him. “Yes, I do.”
My hands grip Ryan. I pull him down onto the bed, straddling him. His eyes are wild, but I’m wilder, my legs tangling with his. I’m bold, so bold. I tug down his briefs, freeing his cock. It’s huge, daunting, and beautiful. I want it, all of it; I want him.
I position myself above him, feeling reckless and slick, then his length is hard against me. He thrusts upward, making me dizzy with wanting.
“Fuck me properly,” I gasp, my hands pressing into his chest, needing it all. When he hesitates, I lean down to whisper in his ear.
I want him to know I’m serious. I want him to know that I want this, want him.
“Ryan,” I whisper, lips brushing his ear. “I want you to be my first.”
His eyes are wide, wild. He’s never looked more perfect to me. He’s staring like I’ve said something shocking, like he can’t believe it.
“Are you sure, Chirp?” He groans. “You could do so much better.”
I laugh. “What are you talking about, Ryan? Look at you. You’re a walking wet dream with a hockey stick.”
That makes him chuckle.
“That doesn’t mean anything. You should want someone your own age.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re not that old. Get ahold of yourself.”
“But—”
I silence him with a finger against his soft lips. “I know you’ll do it right.”
This revelation makes him move, all restraint shattered.
He flips us, my back hitting the mattress.
His mouth is on mine again, kissing me like he means it, like he’s claimed me and can’t get enough.
He reaches for the nightstand, one hand holding me close, grabbing a condom with the other.
He’s so fast but so careful. When he rolls it on, I’m arching, needy, feeling like my whole life has led to this.
But Ryan doesn’t just fuck me like I want. He takes his time, kissing my neck, sucking on my nipples, teasing my slit until I’m drenched. My hands roam his body and explore his smooth skin, his hard muscles, the way that he tenses and his breath stills when I run my fingers across different spots.
Ryan closes his eyes when I run my nails up the back of his neck. He tenses when I kiss and suck his fingertips. His breath stutters when I run my tongue over the delicate shell of his ear and nibble his earlobe.
Interesting. I make careful notes of what he seems to like as I navigate the parts of his body I can reach. The second I try to touch his cock, though, he stills my hand and shakes his head.
“Not yet,” he husks out. He gathers my curious hands and pins them back, holding them with one hand while he sucks my nipples and runs his fingers along the cleft of my pussy. It only takes a solid minute of his torturous, wonderful touches before I’m bucking my hips and biting my lower lip.
“Ryan…” I whine. “You’re killing me.”
He flashes me a grin and rubs his thumb against my clit. My back bows and if he wasn’t holding me in place, I think I would shoot off the bed.
“Okay, baby. I’m going to take care of you. Trust me.”
I do, but I’m going crazy right now. He has me all worked up. I can feel how wet I am, that my thighs are drenched in my excitement, that some of it has pooled on the bed beneath me.
I need more .
Ryan parts my thighs and rubs the head of his cock along the seam of my pussy. I gasp and grip his broad back, my nails digging into his flesh.
He enters me, so slow. My breath catches. I know his cock is big, but it isn’t until right this moment that I’m actually worried it’s not going to fit. It’s too much and not enough all at once, stretching me in ways I didn’t know I could stretch.
And it hurts . I wince and let out a sound. He freezes.
His voice is ragged, unsure. “Do you want me to stop?”
I shake my head, more frantic than I intend, more desperate than I can hide. I want to laugh because he’s not the one who gets to decide to stop right now. I want to scream because it’s so much, so real. I’m finally his.
“I’m dying for you,” I breathe. “Keep going.”
He groans and kisses me hard, burying the sound, burying everything else as he moves. The ache turns sweet, the fullness overwhelming and amazing.
“Fuck, Wren,” he gasps. “You’re so tight.”
I want him to know how much I’m enjoying this, how perfect it is, how incredible he is. He’s so careful with me. I can feel the tension in his muscles as he keeps his thrusts slow and intentional.
I warm up fast, my hips snapping against his. I’ve never had sex before, but my body moves in time with Ryan’s.
“Baby.” I don’t even recognize the needy, breathy voice when it leaves my chest. “Please. I need it… harder.”
“You only had to ask.” A dimple flashes in his cheek and he obliges.
He starts going faster and deeper, gripping my hips as he drives into me. His hand finds me again, finds my clit. He touches me, drives me wild, drives me to the edge.
“Just like that,” I moan, nails raking down his back, claiming him back, pulling him in. “Fuck, Ryan.”
“You’re amazing,” he says, breathless, intense, words a hot rush against my neck. “Your pussy’s so perfect. I’ve dreamed of this moment for so long and you’re better than my imagination.”
He’s holding back, tensing, but I don’t want him to. I want him to give me everything.
“Don’t stop,” I plead. “Don’t hold back.”
His thumb on my clit presses firmly. He doesn’t hold back anymore, pushing us both over the edge, feeling my pussy walls begin to spasm. He slams into me, filling me, stretching me, finishing me in a way I’ve never been finished before.
I explode around him, muscles tightening, everything going white and bright and hot.
He cries out, spilling into me, the pulse of it intense, real, fucking incredible.
We keep moving, together, until there’s nothing left to give, until we’re both drained and panting and boneless, holding onto each other like the whole world could crumble and we wouldn’t care.
We’re caught in this, tangled together, hot and slick, until it’s almost too much. I hold him. He holds me. I don’t want to let go.
Our breathing finally slows. He’s still inside me. I feel full, replete, entirely his. When his lips find mine, soft now, urgent in a new way, something shifts, something deep. He kisses me everywhere. When he pulls out, I’m not ready to be empty.
I can’t help but smile when he insists, “Go to the bathroom. I don’t want you getting a UTI.”
I cock a brow at him. “Really?”
He kisses me, long and slow, then pulls away from me with a groan, giving me a nudge.
“Go on,” he says, more of an order than a request. “Trust me, Chirp.”
It’s a little gross, but kind of sweet. Even in this, he’s thoughtful, protective. I could get used to this side of Ryan.
I don’t know why I’m so thrilled that he’s looking out for me, but the warmth that floods my chest is undeniable.
I roll my eyes like I think he’s being ridiculous.
Still, I do what he says, running to the bathroom, then back to him, breathless with the realization that this feels more than just incredible.
It feels like more than I ever thought it could.
He’s waiting on the bed, his eyes half lidded and dangerous. I like this sleepy, sexy version of him. He reaches for me, pulling me close again.
“Chirp,” he murmurs against my skin. “I can’t get enough of you.” Then his head is between my legs, his tongue against my clit. It’s gentle, urgent, nothing like before.
I’m not used to him like this. I’m not used to anyone like this.
I should care that I’m falling apart under him, that he’s got all the power.
I should care that my body’s greedy and needy and helpless.
But I don’t. It’s incredible. I’m coming undone all over again, but slower, softer, with a kind of intensity that makes me gasp, makes me think maybe there’s something here I didn’t expect.
This changes everything.
Or does it? Maybe it’s just another game. Maybe it’s a way to pass the time while Jay’s away. Maybe I’m kidding myself that this could be more.
He’s murmuring things I can barely hear, barely stand to hear.
About how good I taste, how amazing I am, like he means it.
His hands and mouth are all I can think about.
My body’s an instrument only he knows how to play.
Everything trembles, the edges blur. I don’t know what happens after this, but I know what I want.
I know that I’m close, so close, so ready.
I don’t want to stop.
I don’t have to tonight.
But what about tomorrow?