Chapter 37
thirty-seven
WREN
It’s two days later and I’m stuck in a loop of Ryan admitting, I’m so gone for you .
The words play over and over in my head, piling up till there isn’t room for anything else.
I sit stiffly on the couch, my hands clasped so tightly in my lap that my knuckles are white.
The other contestants are chattering around me, but their voices sound muffled, like I’m underwater.
The host walks in with that megawatt smile that always means trouble. He’s wearing a suit that probably costs more than my rent. His teeth are so white they could blind someone.
“Ladies,” he announces, clapping his hands together. “Tonight, we have a twist.”
The room goes quiet except for the nervous shifting of bodies on leather couches. I feel my stomach clench because twists on this show are never good. They’re designed to create maximum drama and minimum comfort for everyone involved.
“For the next forty-eight hours,” the host continues, his grin getting wider, “Ryan will be spending time with one contestant. Exclusively.”
Murmurs ripple through the group. Heidi actually gasps and presses her hand to her chest like she’s having a heart attack. JacqLyn mutters something under her breath that sounds distinctly unflattering.
“This contestant will have full access to Ryan, outside of cameras, outside of scheduled dates. Just the two of them.”
My stomach drops straight through the floor. Oh no. No, no, no. This is exactly the kind of setup that Elena loves, the kind that forces people into impossible situations and then films the fallout. I can already see where this is going and I hate every second of it.
The host turns toward the doorway where Ryan is presumably waiting. “Ryan, who are you choosing?”
For one split second, I let myself hope it won’t be me. Anyone that wouldn’t make me the enemy of the house.
Ryan walks in looking like he owns the place, which I suppose he kind of does. His eyes scan the room briefly before locking onto mine. There’s something in his expression that makes my pulse stutter.
“Wren,” he says without hesitation.
The air gets sucked out of the room. I can feel every pair of eyes turning to stare at me, some shocked, some angry, some calculating what this means for their own chances. The whispers start immediately, a low buzz of speculation and resentment.
My pulse is hammering so hard I’m pretty sure everyone can hear it. I expected some kind of setup, but this? Forty-eight hours alone with Ryan while the other contestants stew in their own jealousy? Elena really went all out on this one.
“Wren and Ryan,” —the host beams— “pack your bags. You’re leaving tonight.”
I look at Ryan and panic starts creeping up my throat. He just smirks and leans back in that casual way he has, like he planned this whole thing. Like he knew exactly what was coming and decided to roll with it.
“This is bullshit,” Divya says loudly. “She already has an unfair advantage because of her brother.”
“Totally unfair,” Heidi agrees, though she’s trying to keep her voice sweet. “Some of us are actually here to find love.”
They’re not wrong. I am here under false pretenses. I am paid to be here. But the feelings… those weren’t part of the job description. I didn’t mean to want him.
The implication stings even though I know it shouldn’t. Because the truth is, I’m not here to find love. I’m here to do a job. But somewhere along the way that job got complicated and now I’m sitting in a room full of hostile women who think I’m cheating my way to the final rose.
“Ladies,” the host says with fake sympathy, “I know this is disappointing. But Ryan has made his choice.”
More grumbling. More pointed looks in my direction. I want to sink through the couch cushions and disappear completely.
“Pack light,” the host tells us. “You’ll be leaving in an hour.”
I stand up on shaky legs, my mind racing. Forty-eight hours alone with Ryan. No cameras, no other contestants, no buffer between us and whatever this thing is that we’ve been dancing around for weeks.
I’m completely screwed.
I should be angry. Embarrassed. But underneath all of that? I’m a little bit thrilled. I wanted him to choose me. And he did.
“Wren,” Daisy calls out as I’m heading for the stairs. When I turn back, she gives me a thumbs-up and a wink. “Have fun.”
At least someone’s on my side.
I make it to my room and start throwing things into my overnight bag with hands that won’t stop trembling. Clothes, toiletries, the book I’ve been trying to read but can’t concentrate on. I have no idea where we’re going or what we’re supposed to be doing for two whole days.
“Hey.”
I spin around to find Ryan leaning against my doorframe, his own bag slung over his shoulder. He looks completely calm, like this is just another day at the office.
“Are you insane?” I hiss, glancing around to make sure none of my roommates are within earshot. “What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I’m tired of pretending I don’t want to spend time with you.”
“Ryan, this is going to make everything worse. The other girls already hate me.”
He steps into the room and closes the door behind him. “So what? Let them hate you. In two weeks this whole thing will be over and none of their opinions will matter.”
“You’re not the one they’re calling a fraud.”
“You’re not a fraud, Wren.”
“Aren’t I? I’m not here for the right reasons, Ryan. I’m here because Elena paid me to be here. The other contestants, they’re actually looking for love. I’m just playing a role.”
“And what about now? Are you still just playing a role?”
The question hangs between us and I can’t answer it because I don’t know anymore. When I signed up for this job, it was supposed to be simple. Play the villain, cause some drama, collect my paycheck. But nothing about this feels simple anymore.
“I came onto this show with no goal in mind other than to get a promotion. But lately, all I’ve been able to think about is you,” I admit quietly. “You’re in my head. You’re what I think about before I go to sleep at night. What would you say that is?”
His gaze sharpens. “Well, whatever it is, we’ve got forty-eight hours to figure it out.”
A PA opens the door, clipboard in hand. He looks between us then waves us out the door. “Ready to go?”
I shoulder my bag and follow them downstairs, trying to ignore the stares and whispers from the other contestants. Ryan walks beside me, close enough that our arms brush with every step.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“It’s a surprise,” the PA says cheerfully.
Of course it is. Because this whole situation isn’t stressful enough without adding mystery destinations to the mix.
The car is waiting outside, black and sleek and probably worth more than I’ll make in five years. Ryan opens the door for me and I slide onto the leather seats, my bag clutched in my lap like a shield.
The car door shuts with a soft click that sounds like a lock. I swallow hard. It feels like a trap disguised as a getaway.
“You okay?” he asks once we’re both settled and the driver pulls away from the mansion.
“Define okay.”
He reaches over and takes my hand, threading our fingers together. It should comfort me, but instead, it makes everything feel more real. More dangerous.
“It’s going to be fine,” he says.
“You don’t know that.”
“No, I don’t. But I know that I want to find out what happens when it’s just you and me without all the noise.”
I look out the window at the city lights flashing by. “What if we don’t like what we find?”
“Then at least we’ll know.”
His thumb strokes across my knuckles and I try not to think about how good it feels. How right. Because in forty-eight hours, this little bubble is going to burst and we’ll be back to reality. Back to cameras and eliminations and the inevitable moment when Ryan has to choose someone.
“Wren,” he says quietly.
“Yeah?”
“Whatever happens this weekend, I want you to know… picking you wasn’t just easy. It was inevitable.”
My throat goes tight and I have to look away before I do something stupid like cry. Because as terrifying as this all is, part of me is relieved. Part of me has been waiting for this moment since the first time he kissed me.
Forty-eight hours to figure out if what we have is real or just really good television.
I guess we’re about to find out.