Chapter 24
The last thing I want to do is let go of her, but if I don’t, I’ll have her pinned to the nearest tree with my cock buried between her legs in the next second.
I right her panties but keep a grip on her as her knees wobble. There’s a pink flush on her cheeks and a heaviness to her eyes, lids hooded as she looks at me, completely sated.
So fucking pretty.
The first time I fuck her will not be up against some tree. I want to take my time, taste and tease and learn. I want to read her body like it’s a book, push every button, lick every inch.
We both take a moment to catch our breaths, and when she’s ready, she reaches for the shorts lying on top of her bag.
Her blue eyes meet mine once she’s fully dressed, but there’s doubt there that doesn’t belong.
Grasping her chin, I lower my mouth to hers, not hesitating, just taking.
I haven’t kissed her, not since our wedding day.
She’s always been the one to initiate anything, but I’m taking that back now.
I won’t settle for that look on her face.
I’m not going to hide how much I want her.
I sweep my tongue between her lips, feeling her melt in my arms.
If I could just hold all of her, I would. Keep her in my arms and glue every piece together. She kisses me back with as much as I give, matching the strokes of my tongue with her own, angling her head to allow me in further.
Eventually, I have to let her go. I feel on edge with her as it is, and the longer we remain here, the more likely it is I’m going to have her on that tree.
We remain close as we both catch our breaths but then step apart.
I fucking love the way she looks right now, lips wet and swollen from my mouth, that post-orgasm glow still making her skin a little flushed.
“Are you going to say it?” I can’t help but reach for her again, seeking the feel of her.
“Say what?” She leans her head into my hand.
“That you need me.”
As my words hit, she pulls away. “Roman.”
“It’s okay,” I assure her. “We’ll get there.” There’s a surety to my words that probably shouldn’t belong, but I know it. We will get there.
I’ve gone so long not wanting this, not wanting someone close, and now that I have it I’m not going to let it go.
Even when that part of me knows it’s selfish, that she’s in danger when she is with me.
How do I let go of something that’s made me feel more than anything has ever made me feel? Goddamn I want her.
All of her.
“You’re so confident,” She chuckles.
“I am.” I agree, pulling the keys from my pocket for the ATV, “This may have started as temporary, but I plan to make it permanent, sweetheart. I’ll wait however long it takes, but one day, you’ll say the words, but I don’t mind saying them for us both. I need you, Niamh.”
“We’ve barely started, Roman.”
I simply shrug. “One of the things I had to learn real quick in this place is to watch. Always watching Niamh, I see you. I see how you want to hide, bury those feelings down deep so you don’t get hurt, and put up those walls, so no one gets close.
You’re prickly, and that’s what drew me to you. I figured it would work in my favor.”
“With the whole fake marriage and all,” Niamh smiles, not quite what I want but close. So close.
“Yes,” I admit, “You were the one person who didn’t want more from me.
In fact, I was sure you downright despised me, and I figured it would be easy to leave it all when our year was up.
But they’re just thorns, Niamh.” I tell her.
“But I see you. How you escape to the falls to clear your head, and you use the bar like a shield. But you care so fucking deeply, you take in semi-feral animals to help them. You’re scared, Niamh, but that’s okay.
I’m going to show you that with me, there’s nothing to be afraid of. You just have to trust me.”
Her eyes bounce between mine as my words settle beneath her skin. It won’t be today, it won’t be tomorrow, but it will happen. I’ve gone my entire life not wanting this; it wasn’t even about finding the right person, and then the right person fell into my lap.
“Let’s head back.” I turn to the trail that’ll take us from the woods.
“I want to.” I glance back over my shoulder, waiting for her to continue. “I just don’t know how.”
“First,” I give her a grin, “You’ve got to stop pretending this is pretend.”
“And how does that look?” She wets her bottom lip and drops her eyes to my mouth.
“By looking at me just like that, baby,” I rasp, “By letting me kiss you anytime I want. Step by step, sweetheart.”
“Step by step,” She repeats. “So where do we start?”
“You let me take you on a date.”
“Okay,” She breathes.
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Niamh fidgets with the truck keys in her hand.
“We can do it tomorrow or the day after,” I assure her. “Your bar and your staff are more important right now.”
The reservation I had for the restaurant in the city can be changed, and as much as I’ve been dying to get this woman alone again since yesterday morning, it can wait. We have time.
We were ready to go when she got a call from Ashley letting her know they were now short-staffed due to two of her staff members coming down with a stomach bug, and while Ashley had tried to manage it, it was too busy.
I understand business, and I know when to push. This isn’t one of those times.
“Okay,” She steps closer, that pretty dress she put on just for me swishing around her legs.
“Did I tell you already how beautiful you are?” I ask her. I don’t think I’ve ever told her.
Her cheeks turn a little pink as she shakes her head.
“You are stunning,” I tell her, “More than that. I never want to look away.”
Pushing onto her toes, she kisses me firmly, slipping her tongue between my lips, but it’s over way too quickly. “I’ll see you later, cowboy.”
My grip on the counter turns firm as I watch her walk away from me, grabbing her cell and purse on the way out, and only when the door shuts behind her do I release my breath and my hold.
I feel fucking feral when it comes to her.
I never want her to leave. I want her here with me, on me, so far under my skin neither of us will be able to tell where one begins and the other ends.
Running a hand down my face, I start for the office, but sitting behind the desk right now is probably going to make this worse, so I spin and change direction.
A ride. I need a fucking ride, and the fences haven’t been checked today. It’s a long job, meaning I won’t be able to get in that damn truck to follow Niamh into town. I have to remember to give her space. I can’t be with her twenty-four seven, no matter how much I want to be.
Yanking the door open, I head into the late afternoon sun, my legs eating up the space between here and the barns, but a loud whistle stops me. Silas is heading this way, a thick envelope in his hand.
“Saw Niamh leaving,” He says, “Figured this was a good time to give you this.”
“What is it?”
“Does it look like I opened it?” Silas deadpans.
“Smartass,” I fire back, taking it from him.
“Our lawyer dropped it off this morning.” He adds.
“You want to see what it is?” I ask, but my brother shakes his head.
“Nah, I’ve got a call with a ranch out of town. They’re looking at bringing in a trainer for one of their new filly’s.”
“Alright, I’ll let you know.”
Slipping my finger under the tab, I open the envelope, pulling out the first page so I can see what it is.
Deeds.
I pull the paperwork from the envelope, but as it comes out, a smaller white envelope falls out with it, landing by my feet.
Roman.
The handwriting makes me pause. I’d recognize it anywhere…
Tucking the rest of the paperwork under my arm, I reach down for the letter from my grandfather and turn back around, staring at the envelope like I might be able to see inside without opening. Lowering onto the top step of the porch, I place the deeds beside me and open the envelope.
I know you’re probably pissed at me, but if you’ve got this, it means you did as I asked.
I knew you were smart, and you’d figure it out, it’s why I put that clause in my will, but everything I did was for you, Roman.
You know me, son, and I know you. I raised you like you were my own, and after your mother died, I saw what it did to you, how you shut yourself off to the world.
I couldn’t reach you, and neither could your brothers, but I couldn’t watch you do that to yourself.
Is this extreme? Possibly, but there is a method to my madness.
I can imagine him writing this, bent over the desk in the office, holding that pen far too tight.
I can feel the indent left in the paper.
He had a heavy hand, and we all used to joke about how he was trying to tear through the paper instead of actually writing.
When our grandmother was still alive, she used to do all his writing for him because he never learned to stop being so hard with the pen.
It seems ridiculous, and a part of me always thought he did it so he didn’t have to handle paperwork.
I know you think love is meant to doom us, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I loved your grandmother more than I can even explain, and losing her was the hardest thing I have ever experienced.
They take parts of you, little pieces of your soul that you never want back.
You were adamant you didn’t want it, never wanted to experience it, and you didn’t even try.
Love is the most precious thing in the world; to never experience it is a life wasted.
Maybe this won’t work out the way I hope, maybe the woman you choose to marry won’t be the one to change your mind, but then what if she is? What if you finally get to see what you’ve missed out on all along?
Your mother would have wanted you to find happiness, as much as I want the same for you. What happened to her is my biggest regret. I wish I had done more, but you knew your mother, how fierce she could be. I raised her that way, and I am still proud of the woman she became.
One day he will pay for what he did to our family.
And for you, son, I want you to try.
That’s why I put the clause in; that’s why I forced your hand. You can hate me for it, but I don’t regret it.
The ranch is yours now. It is our name, our legacy, and you are now responsible for it, but don’t lose touch with who you are, Roman.
Live.
Keep living.
Find the small things in life, the things you can’t live without, and protect them, earn them and cherish them.
I did it with your grandmother; I found it again with your mother and then again with you three boys.
I’m proud of you, for everything you have done and achieved, proud of the man you are.
Now go find more.
P.S., give my apologies to whichever poor woman is going to have to put up with you. I know she’s going to be a tough cookie, and maybe she’ll teach you a thing or two about living.
All my love.
Pops.
My shoulders shake with my laughter. That fucking bastard.
I glance at the deeds and then at the ranch sprawling before me, the horses in the pastures, the cattle grazing on the hills and the mountains that tie it all together.
I have the ranch, now I have to figure out how to keep the girl.