Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Fou r
Naomi
R eina pointed out the tiny road through the jungle that leads to Sam’s property the first time she took me to town, but that was apparently not enough information to find the place.
I spend nearly an hour going back and forth on the road I’m sure is the one she pointed to before I finally see the little turn off marked with a green wooden palm tree sign that leads down the next tiny jungle road.
I pause at the head of the driveway and try to gather myself a bit, not wanting to show up flustered and sweaty.
I want to get flustered and sweaty after I show up…
No. That’s not why I’m here. It might be a happy side effect of showing up, but the reason I came is to talk this over with the only person on the planet who knows enough to understand.
When I finally get up the nerve to pull my cart beside his, Sam’s standing on the porch, hands on his hips, grinning at me. My heart leaps and relief pours through me. I’m not sure where I got the idea that everyone’s always going to be disappointed when it’s me showing up, but it was probably my childhood where everyone was always disappointed it was me showing up. I’m always braced to smile in the face of their dismay.
“I was just about to come looking for you,” Sam calls as he comes down the steps toward where I parked. He gathers me out of the cart and into his arms and I swear to god I almost fall apart.
“What do you mean? How did you know I was coming?”
I glance up and watch his smile turn into a sly grin. “Reina called Fran, who called me. I called The Sands and learned about your golf cart heist.”
He’s holding me tightly as he says the words, his voice filled with kindness and humor and worry. I’m beside myself with the feeling of belonging. Something I’ve watched other people feel my whole life but never quite figured out for myself.
“The front desk lady was a total pushover.”
He laughs and heaven and earth move.
“Come on, you must be hot after all that driving.”
“I got lost.”
“It’s easy to do. Next time, just call me, okay?”
“Oh, okay. I just didn’t know if you’d…you know. Tell me not to come.”
I can feel his body stiffen, and I hold my breath, waiting for him to agree. Waiting for him to tell me he’s going to grab me a bottle of water and send me on my way before I ruin his entire life.
“These days, all I think about is having you here.”
My brain repeats the words three times silently to itself before finally accepting them. I can’t even begin to form a response, so I just lean heavily into his side as we make our way up the few steps to his front porch.
He lets me go to open the door, and I turn in a full circle on the deck, really seeing my surroundings for the first time.
We’re in an oval shaped clearing in the jungle, large enough that I can only just see the far end from here. There are three small buildings in a little gathering, all painted ocean blue. I stand on the threshold of the largest one. I can see two smaller structures off toward the far end of the property, maybe sheds.
The three larger buildings have sandy trails connecting them, neatly lined with large, smooth rocks and covered with tin roofs. As I glance around, I see fruit trees, heavy with ripening fruit that I don’t recognize from here. There’s a grid of raised beds filled with squash vines and tomatoes in green wire cages.
This is incredible.
And not in the Instagram “take a picture and post it” kind of way, but in the “I want to stay here and live quietly for the rest of my life” kind of way.
“I thought your place was…” I break off, putting my foot directly into my mouth as I try to find a way to soften the harsh way I’ve heard people describe his house. “A work in progress?”
Sam steps over to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with me with his arms crossed and cocks his head, following my gaze out into the yard. “It’s definitely a work in progress.”
“Yeah, but…” How to put into words what I’m seeing right now? What I’m feeling? “It’s amazing.”
Sam slides his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in tight to his side. I melt.
“I’m glad you like it. Come see inside.”
The tour starts in the main house as he calls it, which is the largest of the three small buildings and is essentially the living room. My eyes fall on the sofa, and I flush a bit imagining him there, watching the video I sent. Or was he in his bed?
I need to see his bed right away.
He follows me up the wooden ladder to a sleeping loft that he explains is his temporary bedroom until he gets the other building finished. It’s simple, in a bachelor pad kind of way, with forest green sheets and a small yellow lamp painted with faded flowers that looks like it could have come with the house.
It’s clean, though, and that’s what matters. I can almost smell the warm breeze that dried his sheets on the line outside.
I crawl up until I’ve got my head on one of the pillows, kicking my sandals off before curling up and closing my eyes. When I open them and glance back to find Sam, he’s still on the ladder, watching me.
“No afternoon nap?” I ask, trying to bring lightness to the moment that’s starting to feel heavy.
I meet his eyes and the heaviness grows. There’s something there. Something about the way he’s watching me, arms folded at the top of the ladder, chin resting on his forearms. Like I’m a mirage he’s waiting to watch disappear.
“It’s hard to breathe when you look at me like that,” I manage finally, not lifting my head from his pillow. It smells like him, and I want to take it home with me.
“Like what?” Sam asks, chin still resting on his arms, eyes pinning me to the spot.
“Like…” I know what I want to say, but I also know I have to soften the blow. No point in ruining all the fun we’ve been having with a wet blanket of sad feelings. “Like you’re glad I’m here.”
“Is that so hard to believe?” He sees right through my statement and into the darkness of my heart.
I close my eyes again for a moment before answering. “It’s just not a look I’m used to getting, I guess.”
“How can that possibly be true?”
I shrug, officially regretting saying anything and needing this moment to end before I end up in tears. “Show me the rest of the property?” My voice betrays me, and I watch Sam consider, taking a deep breath in and then out, his eyes searching mine the whole time.
Finally, he reaches out to touch the only part of me close enough, the heel of one foot. His fingers are like electricity, heating me with sparks straight to my core. “Come on, then.”
I follow him down the ladder and out the side door, where he leads me across the short, rock lined path to the second largest of the three blue buildings. I glance up and smile at the tin roof, tacked together in neat, straight lines, but obviously recycled or reclaimed metal sheeting. He passes through the white wooden door and holds it open for me. I meet his eyes, and finding that same loving look still there, I quickly glance down at my sandals.
I don’t know what to do with this. These looks are sending me signals that our situation can’t support. Does he want me or want me to stay a secret? How can it be both? Secret love? Is that a thing?
I shake it off and walk past him into the mid-sized roundish room.
And stop dead in my tracks.
From the outside, this looks like any other small, octagonal building. But inside…
It’s not quite finished, as Sam said, but I can see the vision. He whitewashed the walls and hung sheer white curtains on all eight of the tall, narrow windows. The floors are sanded and polished mahogany, something I recognize after being told about the natural mahogany forests on the nearby islands and shown how it was used for much of the flooring at The Sands. I wonder if these pieces were left over from that. They come together across the room in small chunks, fitted expertly end to end. The slight variations in color give the room a rustic, woodsy feel. I bet if the curtains were all pulled aside, laying in here would feel a lot like being in a tropical forest.
In the center of the room is an almost finished bedframe, mahogany as well, with four sturdy posts and ladder-like head and footboards. I glance up at the vaulted, circular ceiling and see a skylight at the very top, the brilliant blue sky smiling down at me from above.
“That thing used to leak like crazy, but I got it sealed.”
Sam’s voice drags me out of my stupor, and I glance over at him.
“It’ll be amazing to weather the big rain showers in here. Once it’s all done, of course.”
“It’s fantastic. You did all of this?”
He looks down, and I can tell he’s about to go humble on me. “The building was already standing, but…” He smiles as I roll my eyes at him. “Yeah. I’ve been working hard to get this room to match the vision I had when I first saw it. And I’m very nearly there.”
“It looks perfect to me. You just need to drag that mattress out of the loft, and we could sleep here.” I stop short as I realize what I just said. When I dare to look back up at Sam, he’s grinning at me. I can feel myself blush, something I’ve never done so much in my life before meeting this man.
“Come on, I’ll show you the kitchen and then put you to work.”
He’s out the door before I can process that.
And protest.