Chapter 21
You Reap What You Sow
Jordan
I was losing him. Even before what happened that night, I was losing him; I just didn’t know it.
After that fateful event, it became painfully clear because Adam withdrew from me completely.
No more silent, awkward dinners because he refused to eat with me.
He was locking the door to his room at night to keep me out.
He even stopped petting the dog as if he were partly responsible for what I did.
Milo was confused. He kept looking at me with his big brown eyes as if to say, What the hell is going on?
After I gave him no answer, he became less confused and sadder as the time passed.
I blamed myself. It was my fault, just like everything else was my fault.
I knew Adam wanted me, and I took advantage of that because I was too needy.
I was starved for a smidgeon of his attention, so when we ended up kissing, I couldn’t stop.
It was as if someone had stitched my lips to his and glued my body to his.
After I came, I was mortified. The fact that he came too only made me feel more guilty.
Bottom line, no wonder he reacted the way he did.
Still, it didn’t make it any easier when, a few days later, I came home from work and found Adam on his feet. Literally. The cast was gone.
“How?” I muttered, blinking in disbelief. “When?”
“Today,” he replied, folding his shirt.
Obviously.
“I thought they were taking it off next week,” I blurted.
“No,” he said curtly. “Today.”
When he put his shirt in a duffel bag, it felt as if someone gripped my heart and squeezed it. He was packing. He was leaving.
I looked at Milo, who looked back at me helplessly. He was lying on the carpet next to the bed and watching things unfold, looking miserable. When Adam threw his socks in the bag, Milo jumped inside.
“No!” Adam exclaimed, pulling him out of the bag. “Bad doggie.”
“Don’t go,” I said, my throat tightening. It was a miracle I could speak.
Adam lowered Milo onto the carpet before glancing at me. “Thanks for taking care of me. I owe you one.”
“Then stay.”
He smiled as if I’d said the most ridiculous thing in the world. “I can’t stay here, Jordan.”
“Why not?”
He came up to me and caressed my cheek, smiling sweetly. “Because I don’t like you anymore.”
The blow was administered with surgical precision, and it hit hard.
“You’re lying,” I said, blinking the tears out of my eyes. “You like me. You want me.”
“Hmm,” Adam hummed thoughtfully. “If you say so. In any case, thanks for the orgasm. I needed that.”
Before he could turn his back to me, I grabbed him by the arm.
“Stay, asshole,” I growled, meeting the piercing blue gaze with defiance I didn’t know I had in me. “Please.”
Adam laughed. “No fucking way. Are you insane?”
As he kept packing, I just stood there, not knowing what to do. I couldn’t physically stop him from going because he was stronger than me. I couldn’t convince him to stay. My heart kept twisting in my chest, the dull pain disabling me from thinking clearly.
“What about work?” I said, trying to reason with him.
“We fucked, and then we stopped fucking, Jordan. It wasn’t as if we were in a relationship.”
“You’re lying. What we had was real.”
“Maybe at one point,” Adam mused. “But you fucked that up. Still, if you can’t be professional, I’ll ask for a transfer. I have been in the LD long enough. If they won’t let me leave, I’ll quit.”
Every word he said was like a punch to my stomach. It left me breathless and almost gasping for air.
“What about Milo?” I said, gulping. “He loves you more than he loves me.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is, and you know it.”
It was the fucking truth. Milo preferred him. He followed him around the apartment all the time. He slept on the bed below his feet. The dog adored him, just like I adored him.
“Would you still leave if that night hadn’t happened?” I asked him.
Adam gave me an incredulous look before zipping up his bag. When he headed toward the door, I stood in his way.
“Please,” I begged. “Stay a little longer so we can talk.”
“I’m all talked out, Jordan,” Adam said, walking past me.
I followed him out of the bedroom, with Milo following us both, barking.
“Please,” I begged, because I had no pride left. “Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave us.”
Adam turned to look at me. His sky-blue eyes shifted from me to Milo, and then to me again. For the first time since he came here from the hospital, I saw something in his eyes that looked like regret.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered, opening the door. “Goodbye.”
“You’ll be back,” I bit out, clenching my fists to stop myself from going after him.
The door slamming shut behind him was his only reply.
Adam
I slowly climbed down the stairs because my leg was sore, when all I wanted to do was run.
I tried not to think, but the image of Jordan and the ugly dog was imprinted in my mind.
I tried to ignore the pain, but my heart was in agony.
When I walked out of the building, I told myself it would pass.
I told myself that in time things would go back to how they were.
I walked up to my car and threw the duffel bag into the trunk, then slammed it shut.
The next step would be entering the car, but I couldn’t move, and it made me stark raving mad.
“Fuuuuuuck!” I bellowed, resting my hands on the hood, hyperventilating. “Fuuuuuuck!”
I could hear the birds shooting off from the nearby trees, their wings flapping frantically. I could feel people staring at me while walking past me on the street. Was Jordan watching me through his window, too? Could he witness my pitiful state?
Just don’t look. Just don’t look.
Despite my better judgment, I raised my head and looked up, only to see a curtain swaying behind the window of Judas’ apartment.
“The fucker,” I growled, shaking my head in frustration. “And on top of that, I forgot my damn toothbrush!”
I was also talking to myself, but it was the least of my concerns. I locked the car and headed back, this time skipping two steps at a time. It hurt, but I just wanted to be done with it.
When I reached Jordan’s apartment, I was breathless, and the front door was open. Jordan stood on the doorstep with his chin raised and a challenge glinting in his eyes. Milo was nowhere to be seen, but I heard him barking from the pantry.
“I forgot my toothbrush,” I said, keeping my face impassive. “If you don’t mind...”
Jordan let me pass without a word before heading to the bathroom. I followed him there, only to see him picking up my toothbrush and showing it to me.
“This toothbrush?”
“Yes,” I replied, extending my hand. “Can I have it?”
“Sure,” he said, pushing the toothbrush behind the waistband of his jeans. “There it is. Take it yourself.”
I choked on a laugh because the little shit shocked me.
“You didn’t,” I muttered.
“I did.”
He was getting sassy, and I was getting angry. Not a good combination.
“Jordan, I’m warning you.”
“What’s the matter? Are you afraid?”
I snorted. “Of course not.”
“Maybe you’re afraid you’ll get hard,” Jordan countered as his gaze slid to my crotch. “Oopsie. Too late.”
I knew I was hard. After all, I have been hard since the day I left the hospital.
“You’ll regret this,” I said through my teeth, walking up to him.
I yanked at the waistband of his pants until the buttons popped out of the holes. When I stuck my hand into his briefs, a breath caught in his throat. I moved past the trimmed pubes, but still… no toothbrush.
“Fucking hell,” I muttered, pushing my hand lower until I stumbled upon something big and hard.
“That’s not a toothbrush,” Jordan bit out.
I looked at him, meeting the stubborn, amber gaze. Was it then that I said fuck it? Or earlier, when I locked the car and came back? Or even before that, when I left his apartment, climbing down those stairs while feeling as if I were going to the gallows?
“Keep looking,” Jordan taunted me. “You can’t leave without your toothbrush, after all.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling and pushed my hand lower. When I cupped his balls, he swayed slightly as if his legs had turned unstable.
“What about this?” I asked him. “Am I on the right track?”
Jordan looked as if he had trouble keeping his eyes open.
“Please,” he sputtered. “Just… please.”
I cocked my eyebrow. “Please, what?”
“Please like me. Love me. Fuck me.”
“No,” I said, grabbing him by the chin. “You will fuck me.”
When he realized I wasn’t joking, he yanked the cabinet door open and pulled out lube.
A bunch of other stuff fell out, rattling in the sink.
His hands shook as he fumbled with the cap, only managing to open the tube after the third try.
I pushed my pants and boxers down my hips before turning my back to him and leaning over the sink.
When I stuck out my ass in the invitation, Jordan cursed.
“Fuck. Fuck!”
He kept staring at my ass, so no wonder lube was squirting all over.
The majority of it landed on his dick, but there were pools of lube all over the tiled floor, his bare feet, my pants, and his hand.
A decent amount ended up on my hole before he pushed his finger inside it.
It breached me roughly, and I hissed, forcing my muscles to relax as he fingered me.
“More,” I gritted, just as another finger entered me. “Fuck!”
I started stroking my cock that deflated just a little, only to swell even more. The third finger added more pressure, but I needed more.
“Now, damn it,” I growled. “Give me your fucking dick!”
“God, I’m not going to survive this,” Jordan gasped. “Why are we fucking standing up, damn it? My knees won’t hold.”