Chapter 20
Milo, the Ugly Dog, and Other Disasters
Adam
Jordan Slade was a devious cunt. Okay, maybe that sounded too harsh, but he did sneak into my life, broke my heart, and left me with that monstrosity of a dog.
First, that ugly mutt tried to rape me. Then he tried to eat me.
After I ordered some dog food because Jordan the Deceiver didn’t buy any, I fed the damn animal, and he fell asleep in the kitchen.
He seemed uncomfortable lying on the cold tiles, so I ordered some additional stuff for him. It meant:
More dog food
Three stainless steel water bottles
Treats to help him gain more weight because he looked skinny
A collar and a leash
A brush, nail clippers, and shampoo
A dog bed
Poop bags
Toys
And last, but not least, pet insurance.
At some point, a neighbor’s kid showed up at the door to walk the dog because “Mr. Slade said that you are going to pay me”. I pulled out my wallet, cursing the day I met Mr. Slade, before sending him a threatening text.
Me: I will fucking kill you.
He texted right back as if he had been expecting it.
Jordan: Love you. Mwah.
Later, while I watched Milo sleep, I concluded he wasn’t as ugly as I first thought.
He was a fashion model compared to Rusty, but he resembled those weird orange monkeys I saw on Animal Planet.
His paw looked as if it had been run over by a car, which explained why he limped, so no wonder Jordan said that Milo reminded him of me.
We were both scarred for life and we had nasty personalities.
Speaking of personalities, where Rusty was an angel, Milo was a demon.
He possessed wild, chaotic energy and lacked an obedient bone in his body.
Basic commands like sit, stay, or come made him do the opposite.
He kept jumping on me wherever I went, no matter how many times I threatened him or bribed him with food.
He was barking constantly, whether because of the noises coming from outside or to get my attention.
I locked myself in the toilet because I needed five minutes of peace, only to find him chewing on my sock when I came out.
After I put on a football game, Milo joined me on the sofa. Every time my team scored, he barked, wagging his tail, and by the time the game was over, I was howling with laughter. I gave him a snack, he licked my hand, and the order was restored.
“Good dog,” I murmured, petting him behind the ear. “You just have to be obedient, and we’ll get along just fine.”
Milo barked in agreement, and it seemed as if we had a deal. Or not, which I realized around midnight when I heard the front door open. I opened my eyes, still groggy from sleep, only to see a dog's tail wagging in my face.
“What did I say?” I growled. “No sleeping on the bed, demon dog.”
He barked and jumped out of bed as I pulled the blanket over my head and went back to sleep. My eyes had barely closed when Jordan collapsed on the bed next to me.
“What the hell is going on?” I murmured. “Can’t I have a moment’s peace?”
“I came to tell you something, but now I can’t remember what,” Jordan replied, yawning. “God, I missed my bed!”
“Well, you can’t sleep here. Get up and take that dog with you.”
It didn’t happen. Both Jordan and the ugly dog spent the night snoring next to me, which made me realize I had to set some boundaries.
“There will be rules,” I said when I confronted them both in the morning.
“First, and I’m looking at you, ugly dog, my socks are off-limits.
If I see you chewing on them one more time, I will stop feeding you.
Second, my bed is off-limits, too, and it’s nonnegotiable.
Third, no more snacks after dinner. Are we clear on that? ”
Milo barked and wagged his tail, which meant absolutely nothing, but I let it slide.
“Peachy,” I said before looking at Jordan. “You will stop sleeping in my bed, stealing my blanket, and humping my leg like you did last night. Got it?”
Jordan grinned, biting into an apple. “Sure.”
It didn’t sound encouraging, but I let it slide, too.
To no one’s surprise, none of it happened.
I had to hide all my socks. Milo got one snack after dinner because I had to shut him up somehow.
When I went to take an afternoon nap, he joined me on the bed, finding a comfortable spot below my feet.
Since he was kind of warm, I let him sleep there, telling myself that it was “only this once”.
When Jordan came home from work, he showed up in the bedroom under the pretense of checking up on the dog, only to fall asleep next to me.
The following night, he came to my bed as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
At that point, I gave up. After all, a week from now, my cast would be gone.
It meant, bye-bye, ugly dog. Bye-bye, Judas.
As far as I was concerned, they deserved each other.
Then Milo got sick, which made me all kinds of alarmed. I was googling his symptoms when Jordan called me.
“Did you miss me?” he said, presumably joking, after I answered the call.
“There’s something wrong with Milo,” I replied, still peering at the screen. “According to Google, he has both rabies and cancer.”
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He looks pale.”
Jordan chuckled. “Oh, he’s pale. Call the vet before he dies.”
“I’m being serious,” I growled. “He’s not behaving like himself. He’s just lying there, looking all gloomy.”
“Hmm, it reminds me of someone I know,” Jordan mused. “You probably gave him too much to eat.”
“Impossible,” I countered. “He had breakfast as usual, then a few snacks before lunch, and a tiny piece of apple pie because you know how much he loves apple pie. Do we have a thermometer at home?”
“You’re the cutest asshole ever, do you know that?” Jordan said. “Incidentally, have you received Chief Bibb’s invitation to his annual Halloween party?”
I rolled my eyes. “God, not again.”
“Yeah. He said he emailed it to you.”
“I didn’t receive it.”
“You’re lying, Adam.”
“Suck my dick, Jordan.”
“I would if you’d let me.”
I hung up after that, only to find Milo throwing up pieces of my sock all over the kitchen tiles.
“It serves you right,” I said, pointing a finger at him. “I hope you learned something today.”
The look in his eyes told me he’d learned nothing, but I still cleaned up after him and made him drink lots of water. It wasn’t his fault that he was born stupid, but it was my rotten luck that I was stuck with taking care of him.
It was late in the night, or so my internal clock told me, when I heard the front door open. I could hear Milo jumping out of bed, Jordan rummaging in the kitchen, and then the shower running. I was drifting in and out of sleep when Jordan climbed into the bed.
“Hold up,” he said, moving closer to me and sniffing me. “Have you showered?”
“Mm-hmm,” I mumbled into a pillow.
“Without me? Why? How?”
“I used the plastic stool you have on the balcony to sit on it.”
“Are you insane?” Jordan exclaimed. “That stool is not stable enough. You could have hurt yourself.”
“Apparently, it’s stable enough, which means I don’t need you to help me shower anymore. Thank God.”
“Not if I hurl that stool out of the window.”
“Don’t you dare,” I growled, turning toward him, only to recoil. “Jesus! What the hell happened to you?”
Jordan smelled like a shower, and his hair was damp, but all the water in the world couldn’t wash off the shiner gracing his cheek.
“Who did this to you?” I demanded, feeling enraged. “I’m going to kill that fucking bastard.”
“A bouncer in the club we raided didn’t like the look of my detective badge,” Jordan said, yawning. “Imagine that.”
“Which club? What’s this jerk’s name?”
Jordan chuckled. “His name is Conan the Barbarian, and he works in Narnia.”
“Not funny.”
“It is actually.”
I touched his face, observing the ugly discoloration. “Does it hurt?”
“It does,” Jordan replied, looking at me from under his eyelashes. “Can you kiss it better?”
“Fuck off,” I mumbled, lying down on my back. “Go to sleep.”
“Pleeease.” I could almost hear him pout. “I’m in so much pain.”
“You’re so lying,” I said with a sigh when I felt him snuggling against me. His body found mine, his erection found my hip, and just like that… I was in hell. Or heaven, depending on how you looked at it. When his head found the crook of my neck, I didn’t push him away, but I didn’t hug him either.
“I missed this,” Jordan murmured with a sigh. “Did you miss this?”
“No,” I lied.
He tentatively put his hand on my chest, waiting for my reaction, while I—I didn’t know how to react.
I was frozen in Jordan-land. Entrapped in the citrusy kingdom with no way out.
His body heat enveloped me, making me feel as if I were lying on a tropical beach with the sun high above me and warmth soaking my skin.
“Adam.”
I looked at him, only to find him propped on his elbow.
“Please,” he said, glancing at my lips. “Just once.”
I blamed it on the shiner. It was the shiner that made me falter…
the shiner and pity, but nothing more than that.
It was what I told myself when Jordan moved to kiss me, and I didn’t pull away.
Just once. I told myself. Just once, and then things will go back to how they were.
What a joke. Things have changed already.
Maybe the other day, when I let him sleep in his bed.
Or maybe that day when we entered that prison cell.
Maybe even that day when Jordan joined the LD, and my obsession began.
In any case, we ended up kissing, but it wasn’t enough.
It would never be enough, and I realized it as soon as his lips touched mine.
As soon as his tongue tangled with mine.
As soon as the first whimper left his mouth, mingling with mine.
As soon as I cupped his face, tilting it to my liking, so when Jordan climbed on top of me, his entire body trembling, I let him.
When he started to kiss my neck, leaving hickeys along the way, I let him.
When he took off his T-shirt, breaking the kiss for the shortest of moments, I let him.
And when he started to rub his dick against mine, I came in my boxers a few embarrassing moments later.
He was right. I did have one too many erections in that shower.
It was why I bit my lip until I tasted blood to stop myself from shouting it out.
It was why I gripped his waist as my hips bucked until I let it all out…
cum and shame and anger and remorse and love and anger and shame.
“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” Jordan gasped, unaware of my ongoing climax. “God, I’m so sorry.”
I let out another weak spurt, gritting my teeth as he buried his face in my neck with a helpless whimper.
“I’m-m so sorry,” he kept repeating while humping me. “I’m so sorry.”
I could feel his warm wetness spreading over my briefs and mixing with mine. His drool on my neck. His hot breaths fanning my skin.
After he turned limp, I pushed him off me and straightened up. I moved into a sitting position, my back turned to him, my gaze fixed on the starless sky outside.
“I’m so sorry,” Jordan said, still breathless, his voice cracking. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
I couldn’t speak. I was still weak from my orgasm, and my heart pounded in my chest like crazy.
Not enough. Not enough. Not enough.
The words echoing in my head mixed with regret too damn well.
I could hear them loud and clear, like a song on repeat.
They refused to leave, even when I took my crutches and limped to the terrace, where I stayed until dawn.
They were louder than the traffic in the distance.
They were louder than Jordan sobbing in my bed. They were there to stay.