Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
EMMA
Present
Caden’s eyes were pitch-black, stripped of all color, of all charm that usually softened his rough edges.
What stood in front of me was the stone-cold killer, staring at me with a barely contained rage.
He looked as though he was teetering on the edge of snapping, ready to unleash a storm of murder.
“He threatened you?” His voice was low and guttural, each word laced with fury. “I’ll fucking end him.”
“I am so sorry Caden,” I apologized quickly, almost trembling beneath the sharp edge of his anger.
“I should’ve nexed you anyway, but I was…
I’m ashamed to admit James got to me. I feared not being able to see my parents, feared I’d unleash some sort of international conflict between Cyclos and Crown right as the Great Exposure happened, and… ”
My words faltered, the knot of regret in my chest tightening.
Caden straightened his spine, suddenly looking even taller than usual.
“You don’t ever. Apologize. For him. Again.” Every word was delivered with such seething intensity it felt like a physical blow.
He took a deep breath, eyes squeezing shut for a second, as if forcing his anger back under control. “So this is why you think James is Alek’s father? Because James’s real name is Aleksander?”
I shrugged, trying to mask the nerves clawing through me. “Well, since you’re the only other option, let me ask you this: would you ever consider naming our son after my ex?”
He stilled, only for a beat, then muttered, “Wouldn’t be my first choice.”
A laugh snorted out of me. “That’s what I thought.”
“But that is not irrefutable evidence of his fatherhood, and I’ll be damned if I let you think so. We don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. Maybe I turn out to be the biggest fan of the name.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, right.”
“Maybe you threaten me with death after nine months of carrying the baby if I don’t give you whatever name you want,” he shot back, his tone harsh but also almost…amused.
“Maybe Walker dies in some heroic blaze of glory, and we decide to honor him. Hell, if I know what’s coming, but four of the most common letters in the alphabet are not fucking proof of our future.”
I opened my mouth, then shut it again. Let his words circle, sink in.
Our future. Why did those two little words send a strange, electric tingle twisting through my stomach?
“You hear yourself?” he pressed unrelentingly.
“You’re ready to hand Walker your life because of no more than a coincidence.
That is not logic, Emma. It’s fear talking.
And if I had to guess, with your charming type-A tendencies, you’re probably more terrified of making the wrong choice than of not choosing at all. ”
Damn it. He sounded reasonable, and I hated how easily he’d cornered me with logic.
“When you put it like that…” I admitted grudgingly.
Caden didn’t waver. “Good. Glad we buried this bullshit. Now, what happened next?”
My tone softened. “After our fight, I started training with Nino, who’s First Offensive of Cyclos since James has become its Leader. After two weeks, I left to visit my parents. A week later, the bubble happened, and you know the rest.”
He nodded, his expression hardening. “Damn straight I know the rest.”
He pushed off the windowsill. “But there’s something a lot more important you just said.”
His gaze darkened with an intensity that made my heart skip a fucking beat. “You told James you felt some sort of attraction to me when you were at Crown. Was that true?”
I swallowed hard, willing my emotions not to surface. “I didn’t lie,” I admitted quietly.
Caden took a step forward, his voice low and raw. “Do you still feel that way?”
Did I still feel attraction to the most maddeningly intense—and stupidly beautiful—man I’d ever met?
To the need that had gnawed at me through weeks of grief and agony, sometimes even providing a dangerous kind of comfort in the darkest hours?
I only hesitated for a beat before I nodded once, words completely abandoning me.
“Fuck, Emma,” he said, stepping closer. The air between us grew hotter with every inch he closed. “Are you serious?”
The fire in his eyes lit a match under my skin. It burned exactly as it had my last night at Crown. And I was thrown by how easily I still caught the heat.
“When we said our goodbyes on my last night at Crown, before all of this shit happened, I was…” My words faltered.
Gods, what was I going to say?
He lifted a brow, stepping in again. “You were what?”
I clenched my jaw. Damn him for making me say it out loud. “Well… You know.”
Caden took another step, his body so close now I could feel the heat rolling off him.
“I don’t,” he said, voice quiet and relentless. “What do I know?”
Jesus. Couldn’t he just…get it? Couldn’t he read between the lines like a normal person instead of dragging it out?
“You know, like…” I gestured vaguely, grasping at invisible explanations. My brain short-circuited halfway through the sentence. “There was something between us. And that doesn’t disappear simply because the world decided to dump a thousand pounds of trauma on my shoulders.”
I exhaled hard, my cheeks burning. “It’s obviously just a physical thing. You say something or look at me a certain way, and I get all…”
I waved my hand in a helpless circle between us, as if it could explain what my mouth couldn’t.
His gaze dipped to my lips, lingered, then climbed slowly back to meet mine.
“All what?” he asked, sounding rougher now. Darker.
“Flustered,” I muttered.
The word came out softer than I wanted, like it had betrayed me on its way out. Heat crawled up my neck, flooding my face.
“Flustered,” he repeated slowly, as if he were tasting it, trying to decipher its meaning as if it were some foreign concept.
“Yes, flustered,” I snapped, my embarrassment sparking into irritation. “I don’t expect you to know how that feels, but let me tell you, it’s really inconvenient.”
“Inconvenient.” His tone was almost mocking this time, as his lips curled into the faintest smirk.
“Seriously, stop repeating everything I say!” My patience gave way, burst into flames, and took all my dignity with it. “You want me to admit whatever the hell this is, when you’re not even…” I hesitated, swallowing the words clawing their way up my throat.
His head tilted, eyes narrowing, the playful edge vanishing in an instant. “When I’m not even what?”
I looked down at the floor for a second, my chest tightening as the vulnerability lodged itself there. “Do you have any idea how pathetic it makes me feel to admit I’m attracted to you when you’re not even in the same boat?”
Silence.
Then Caden blinked, realization dawning like the slow burn of a fire catching on dry kindling. “You think I’m not in the same boat?”
I shrugged, avoiding his gaze, and mumbled, “You never said.”
Gods, this was humiliating. My poor heart was crashing against my ribs.
And then Caden Colt snorted. He actually snorted.
“Let me get this straight, you’re asking me if I’m attracted to you?” His tone was thick with incredulity, and something else, something that stung like a bitch.
I felt my face burn hotter. “Fuck you, Caden. You could just say no. You don’t need to act like a superior ass about it.”
His eyes widened. In…shock? “Wait, you’re really asking me?”
Oh wow. He was that surprised?
Well, that wasn’t great for the ego. My throat turned suddenly dry as the realization hit like a punch to the gut.
Oh my gods. It really had all been in my head.
I took in a deep breath, trying to steady my emotions.
No weakness, Emma.
“Don’t worry, Caden, it won’t affect our friendship.” I forced a lightness into my statement I didn’t feel. “You simply don’t see me like that, which is fine. I would never want you to feel bad or guilty for not feeling a certain way—”
I didn’t even get the sentence out.
He moved, fast.
One second I was talking, the next I was against the wall, his hands gripping my waist, his body pressed flush to mine. My breath left me in a rush, not from pain, but from him. His heat. His size. His power.
“You think I’m not attracted to you?” His voice was low, rough, and shaking with restraint. His eyes were wild. Black with fury. “Are you out of your mind?”
I couldn’t move. Could barely think. The only thing I could feel was him, his breath on my mouth, his control unraveling inch by inch.
“I’m restraining myself every second of every damn day,” he snarled, “so you can have your fairytale ending with your screwed-up little Leader.”
I sucked in a breath. “You are?”
“Oh my gods.” He dragged a hand down his face like he was physically trying to contain himself. Then his focus snapped back up, and whatever restraint he’d held on to, shattered.
His hand slammed against the wall beside my head, trapping me in the heat of him. Too close. Too much. My pulse skittered as though it wanted to escape my body, but I couldn’t move. Not when his stare pinned me in place, burning hotter than the deepest pit of hell.
His other arm shot up, capturing my wrists and lifting them above me, locking them effortlessly in one broad grip.
I gasped, breath catching, body burning, unable to look away.
He leaned in, breath brushing my lips, and spoke in a low, razor-sharp rasp. “Let me be very clear about this, because I don’t do the fucking miscommunication trope.”
The hand on the wall slid to my hip, the heat of his palm scorching through the thin fabric of my shirt.
“I’m not just attracted to you. I’m fucking obsessed with you—your body, your mind, your godsdamn soul.” His grip flexed at my waist, dragging fire in its wake. “And if you’d let me, I’d worship every inch of all three, every damn day, for the rest of our fucking lives.”
A shiver ripped down my spine. Pressure coiled low in my stomach, molten and unbearable.
His eyes dropped to where our bodies nearly touched. When they lifted again, they were obsidian. Pupils blown wide with hunger. With want. With something raw and starved and only barely human.
Like he’d been holding this back for too long.
For me.
How the hell had I missed it?
How had I not seen this burning, this war right beneath his skin?
And why, gods help me, did I want to be consumed by it?
He dragged me even tighter into him, like he needed me to feel it, every word, every intention.
My wrists twitched in his grip, not in protest, but because I didn’t know what to do with the electricity pulsing through me.
Caden leaned in closer, so close his nose brushed mine.
I dragged in a shallow breath, trembling against him. “Caden—”
“Don’t say my name like that,” he growled as his forehead pressed hard against mine. “Not unless you want me to lose what little fucking control I am barely clinging to right now.”
His thumb brushed my hip, slow, dragging along the curve of bone. I felt the full, devastating heat of him—his body, his anger, his restraint—and it drove me mad.
“You think I haven’t dreamed of this?” he whispered, his voice dark silk. “You think I don’t wake up hard and aching from thoughts of you underneath me?”
I whimpered—an honest, humiliating sound—and his eyes darkened, flashing with something feral.
Then his gaze dropped to my mouth. “Tell me not to kiss you,” he breathed.
His lips hovered barely an inch from mine, while time collapsed around us.
Every part of me screamed for his kiss. No way in hell was I telling him not to.
But right before contact, right before the point of no return, Sean barged into the room, his expression wild and panicked. “What the hell did you guys do?”