Chapter 6 – He’s Such a Cockblocker
Monday
Jacob snuck up to me from behind and wrapped his arms around me.
I laughed and tried to look up at him. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He spun me around to face him. “What are you thinking for lunch?”
“Good question. Um...pizza.”
He smiled. “I’ll go grab it for you.”
“Thanks, babe.” I shook my head. “No, not babe. I’ll workshop it and come up with something better.”
“Call me whatever you want, love.” He leaned down and kissed me.
I was really getting used to this. I looped my arms behind his neck and stood up on my tiptoes. I couldn’t believe this had ever been awkward.
“I thought he broke up with her because she’s a slut,” someone said.
No, not someone. It was definitely Gigi’s voice.
I froze mid-kiss.
“Ignore them,” Jacob whispered against my lips.
I knew Jacob didn’t care what anyone said about him. But I wish I wasn’t so easily affected.
“I guess he doesn’t mind that she hooked up with Mr. Halifax,” Gigi said. Her minions giggled.
I was still frozen.
Jacob sighed and pulled back. “Gigi, none of that is true. Don’t you have something better to do than spread gossip?”
Gigi smiled. “Of course I do. I was just texting my new boyfriend.” She pulled out her phone. “He is so hot. You guys are going to die.”
I wondered what idiot was dating her now. Or if what she was even saying was true. Maybe she had a made-up boyfriend who lived in Canada or something.
“Great,” Jacob said and looked back at me. He rolled his eyes and I laughed. “I’m going to go grab your lunch.” His hands fell from my waist and he got into the line.
“You two make such a great couple,” Georgia said.
At first I thought she was talking to me. I turned my head.
“Ew, not you,” Georgia said.
Gemma laughed. “Cleary she was talking to Gigi.”
Whatever. What did George know about great couples anyway? She was someone’s third. I walked away from them. I was the first person to sit down at my usual table. RJ was nowhere in sight. Or Liam. Where were they? I needed to know who my kiss thief was so I could put this whole thing in the past.
I put on my glasses to unlock my phone. Axel still hadn’t acknowledged the fact that I’d sent him soup. I was really starting to worry.
I sent him a quick text asking if he’d gotten the soup.
And...he didn’t text me back right away like he usually did.
“Seriously, are you okay?” I typed out. “I’m really worried about you.” I hit send.
Sophie sat down across from me.
I kept staring at my phone.
“Who are you texting?” she asked.
“No one.”
She sighed. “Please tell me you’re not texting Axel.”
I just shrugged.
“I feel like I need to confiscate your phone right now.” Sophie laughed. “God, when did I become Uncle James?”
“I’m still allowed to text Axel, Soph. And I’m really starting to worry about him.”
“He’s not your concern.”
“He’s all of our concern,” I said.
She put her elbows on the table and leaned forward. “Scar, if Axel wanted you to take care of him when he was sick, he would have asked you to be his girlfriend. He doesn’t need you to worry about him.”
Yeah. Maybe. But that didn’t mean I could just suddenly turn off worrying about him. I glanced at my phone again.
“Do you think Mr. Halifax is masturbating to pictures of me during his lunch break?” Sophie asked.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Jacob asked as he sat down next to me.
“Thanks,” I said as he slid a tray in front of me.
“Seriously, why would you think Mr. Halifax was doing that?” Jacob asked.
Sophie sighed and put her chin in her hand. “It’s what I hope he’s doing. I took quite the little photoshoot for him.”
“I’m so confused,” Jacob said.
“She got her phone purposefully confiscated in class,” I said. “And put a bunch of risqué photos on it in hopes that Mr. Halifax will look at them.”
“And he invited me to hang out with him after school,” Sophie said.
I shook my head. “He told her to pick up her phone at the end of the day.”
Jacob laughed. “I honestly can’t believe Mr. Halifax and Uncle James are even still working here.”
“Apparently them staying on included a hefty donation to the school,” I said.
“Still. I was kinda hoping we could at least hang out here without him hovering.” Jacob subtly nodded to the left.
My dad was standing in line for food and just staring at us.
I sighed and turned away from him. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. Let’s just pretend he’s not there.”
That was probably easier for Jacob than it was for me.
“He’s such a cockblocker,” Sophie said. “I’m glad my dad’s not like that. He’s totally cool with whoever I want to date.”
I stared at her. “Are you sure about that? I’m not sure he understands your obsession with Mr. Halifax. He thinks it’s just a little crush.”
Sophie laughed. “I’ve mentioned Mr. Halifax several times in front of him. If he doesn’t know I’m in love, that’s on him.”
I wasn’t even sure if she was talking about Mr. Halifax or her dad anymore.
“What’s up?” RJ said as he sat down next to Sophie.
What’s up? That’s all he had to say? “RJ, what the heck. Tell me who my kiss thief is.”
“Wait,” Jacob said. “You know who her kiss thief is?”
Liam laughed as he sat down next to RJ.
I ignored him. “RJ, tell me.”
“Now where’s the fun in that?” he said took a bite out of a fry.
Sophie slapped the fry out of his hand. “Tell us. Now. Or else.”
“Or else what? I’m the one with all the information.”
Sophie hit him in the back of the head.
“Ow.” He rubbed the spot. “Physical abuse isn’t going to get the name out of me.”
I’d hardly call that physical abuse. “RJ, come on,” I said.
RJ smiled at me. “Congrats by the way. Soph told me you and Jacob are actually dating now.”
I was about to say thank you, but he kept talking.
“Which means you don’t even really need to know who your kiss thief is now, right? You won’t be talking to him anymore either way.”
I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. “Right,” I said.
“Cool, cool. So what was everyone up to yesterday?”
Was he serious right now? “RJ, I still kind of need to know who my kiss thief is.”
“Do you though?”
I didn’t like the way he’d said that. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
“Because, why?” he asked. “I guess you might need an STD test if you went further than third base...”
Sophie hit him in the back of the head again.
“You know, usually when a girl hits me she makes out with me right after.”
Liam laughed.
“Ew.” Sophie lowered her hand.
Jacob cleared his throat. “Scarlett, you never said. Did the kiss thief strike again?”
Ah!
“How else do you think I caught the guy?” RJ asked.
I knew my face was turning red. “Yeah...I...” my voice trailed off.
“Did you guys just kiss?” Jacob asked.
“Of course they just kissed,” Sophie said before I could respond. “Despite what you fake said, Scarlett isn’t a slut.”
God, did that mean I was a slut?! And why was she lying to him?! I needed to come clean about everything.
“Good,” Jacob said and continued eating.
This was bad. Really bad. Now when I told Jacob what actually happened he’d be the opposite of good. I glared at Sophie.
And she winked at me, like she thought she’d helped.
This was a disaster. “Liam,” I said. “Tell me who my kiss thief is.”
“I only heard second hand,” he said. “And I think RJ was just messing with me. You need to go to the source himself.” He nodded toward RJ.
RJ smiled at me.
What did Liam mean by he thought RJ was messing with him? Was whoever my kiss thief was super weird or something? “Liam, just tell me,” I said.
“Like I said, there’s no way what RJ told me is true.”
“RJ’s right,” Jacob said. “Does it really even matter? You are done talking to him, right?”
“Yes.” I was. Definitely. But it did still matter. Of course it mattered. But it didn’t seem like Jacob thought so. So I pressed my lips together. I wasn’t sure I could let this go though...
“Then I don’t see why it matters.”
“Well it matters to me,” Sophie said.
Thank goodness she could press it for me.
“Is it Mr. Halifax or not?” Sophie asked.
RJ smiled.
“Is that a yes?!” she shrieked.
“I’ll tell you who it is,” RJ said. “If you both do something for me first.”
“What do you want?” Sophie asked.
“Wait for it,” he said.
“How long exactly do we need to wait for it?” I asked.
“Just wait for it.” His smile grew. In that devious way. That meant he was up to no good.
“At least tell me it wasn’t a drifter,” I said.
RJ shrugged. “I guess that’s fair. It’s not a drifter.”
“Is it one of our suspects?”
“What is this, 21 questions?”
“Just answer me,” I said.
“Yes. He’s one of your suspects. And you’re going to be shocked, baby doll. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Stop calling me that. We’re not in the middle of an operation.”
“I think we kind of are until I tell you the name. Operation All Eyes on Baby Doll is still on. Look. Even your dad’s participating.”
I forced myself not to look at my dad.
Jacob leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Thank you. For not going any further with the kiss thief.” He kissed my cheek.
Oh screw me.
My phone buzzed. I pulled it out and couldn’t unlock it. Come on. “RJ, can you please fix my phone?”
“You’ll owe me another favor.”
How many favors did I already owe him? And I was pretty sure I was going to have to do something weird for him in order for him to reveal the identity of my kiss thief. “Never mind.” I shook my head and grabbed my glasses.
Axel had finally responded: “Oh, sorry. I got a couple pints of soup sent to me. I wasn’t sure if one was from you or not.”
Who else had sent him soup? And he knew one was from me. I always sent him chicken noodle from the same place. What the hell? “You know I sent you soup from your favorite place,” I texted. “Are you super sick?” I hit send.
“Nah, I was just up late,” Axel texted back. “If you know what I mean.” There was a winky face at the end of his text.
What? “No, I don’t know what you mean. I was worried about you.”
“Does the boyfriend know you’re texting me right now? Tell him I say hi.”
I looked up. “Axel says hi, everyone. He’s not sick. He was just up late, whatever that means.” I put “up late” in air quotes.
“He was probably hooking up with someone,” Liam said. He was giving me a weird look.
Was he expecting me to react to that? Because I wasn’t going to.
Axel had spent every night in my bed recently.
And the one day he didn’t come, of course he’d crawled into someone else’s.
Because Axel was the slut, not me. I shrugged my shoulders.
“Good for him.” My heart was beating funny in my chest.
My phone buzzed again.
Axel had texted: “This is a whole lot of soup. But I’m willing to share. Want to come over?”
“It’s the middle of the school day, Axel.”
“Right. Well, I’m excited to see you tomorrow.”
Tomorrow. Because he wasn’t coming to my room again tonight. Which was good. It’s what I wanted. I stared at his text. He said he was excited to see me. Normally, I’d be overanalyzing every word in that sentence. But I had a boyfriend now. Speaking of which, I could feel Jacob staring at me.
I went to put my phone back in my pocket, but Axel texted again: “Because I have some fun news to share. I can’t wait to tell everyone tomorrow.”
What fun news did he have? I shook my head and put my phone away.
“Did you send him soup?” Jacob asked.
He didn’t sound upset or anything. He was just asking.
I nodded. “For the last time. Old habits die hard.”
“Does that mean I get soup on sick days now?” He smiled at me.
“I’ll send you soup whenever you want.” I lightly nudged him with my shoulder.
Jacob looked so...content. And I wondered if maybe Sophie had a point. I could just...not tell him that Axel had been spending the night. And not tell him that I went to third base with my kiss thief. I mean, Jacob knowing wouldn’t make him happy. So...
I shook my head. I had to tell him. As soon as we were alone. I’d do it right after school while Sophie was flirting with Mr. Halifax.
Wait, Mr. Halifax. I stared at RJ.
He’d answered my question about the kiss thief not being a drifter. And my question about him being one of my suspects. But he hadn’t answered the question about Mr. Halifax being the kiss thief.
I thought about the A on my quiz that I didn’t deserve. And Liam was so shocked by my kiss thief’s identity that he thought it was a joke.
RJ smiled at me like he could read my thoughts.
No. It couldn’t be. But Mr. Halifax had been the right height when I’d seen him on his knees... Ah! No! Please!
“Meet me after school,” RJ said. “And all shall be revealed.”