Chapter 8 – Shnookums
Tuesday
My mind went round and round all night thinking of all the possibilities. I only had three real kiss thief suspects left.
Apparently Sophie had flat out asked Eli the Halloween Henchman if he was my kiss thief after homecoming. Presumably before they did that weird photoshoot and made out. Either way, he was officially crossed off my list of suspects.
So that just left Zach the Stallion, Leo the Rugged Thief, and Luis the Cheater. And yes. Technically Mr. Halifax was still a possibility, but I wasn’t having it. And I guess maybe Axel. Or a drifter. Yeah, RJ said it wasn’t a drifter, but who knew what he considered a drifter?
I needed RJ to just rip the Band-Aid off already. My kiss thief had texted me back last night and he wasn’t budging on revealing his identity. Well, I guess he said he would budge. His exact words were: “I’ll tell you who I am right now if you break up with your boyfriend.”
Which wasn’t happening. Which meant I had to wait until Friday’s weird reveal. Gah!
“Are you okay?” Sophie asked as we headed to lunch. “You’ve been quiet all morning.”
“Mhm.” I kept walking. Sophie might have said something else, but I was busy making a mental list.
Zach the Stallion had definitely enjoyed dancing with me. The tent in his pants was proof of that. I was pretty sure if my dad ever saw me near him again, Zach would be the next person to get a black eye.
Leo the Rugged Thief would probably be at the top of my list if I didn’t have a boyfriend. I’d really enjoyed talking to him. He’d made me laugh and I felt weirdly comfortable around him. And he was an actual thief.
And then there was Luis the Cheater. Screw him. I didn’t want to be his fourth. He was the worst. Ugh, what if it was him? He might actually be worse than Mr. Halifax. If that was even possible.
For the millionth time my mind settled on Axel. Was that possible?
A part of me had been holding on to hope that it was. At least, before I started dating Jacob I was holding on to hope. Now the thought of it being Axel made my heart feel funny.
Seriously...was it possible?
It didn’t seem like it. Axel and I were friends. If he liked me, there was no reason he wouldn’t just tell me. Although...I’d hidden it from him for ages. But had I really? Apparently soup was only supposed to be sent to lovers. And I’d been sending him soup for ages.
Axel didn’t look at me like he loved me. He looked at me like he enjoyed my friendship. I’d been studying his face for years, so I ought to know.
But what if I was wrong? What if Axel was my kiss thief? My chest actually ached. I rubbed between the lapels of my blazer.
Sophie grabbed my arm before we walked through the doors into the cafeteria. “Seriously, what is going on with you?”
“I think I’m having a heart attack.”
She raised her eyebrow at me. “Does your chest hurt?”
“Yes, terribly.”
“Are you dizzy or anything?”
“I don’t think so.”
She smiled. “You don’t think so?”
“I guess I’m not dizzy.”
“I think you’ll live. Maybe you’re just hungry...” She reached for the door.
“Sophie, what if Axel is my kiss thief?”
She raised her eyebrows.
“What if he’s been in love with me this whole time too and was just too scared to mess up our friendship or something? What if it’s him? He’s certainly been acting weird about Jacob and me dating. He’s tried multiple times to get me to dump him. Why else would he do that?”
“He might just want everyone on the football team to focus so they can get to the playoffs their senior year. Or he knows something shady about Jacob that we don’t. Or...”
“What on earth is shady about Jacob?”
Sophie shrugged. “You’d have to ask Jacob. Or Axel in this scenario.”
I sighed.
“Speaking of Jacob, you’ve been avoiding him all day.”
“I know.” I was a little tempted to go eat lunch with my dad in his classroom. But I’d have to talk to Jacob about everything eventually.
“Does that mean you’re not going to tell him about the kiss thief date? I hope?”
“I have to tell him, Soph.”
“Do you though?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. But...you don’t have to call it a date.”
“What would I call it then?” I asked.
She bit her lip as she thought it over. “You could call it a reveal. Because that’s technically what it is.”
“Technically it’s also a date.”
“Yeah,” Sophie said. “But you’re not going on it for the sake of going on a date. You’re going on it for the sake of the reveal.”
“I guess that’s true.”
“Definitely true. Let’s give that a try.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I really don’t like the idea of lying to him.”
“Well, you have the rest of the day to figure out how you want to word it. If you want to word it at all. Because Axel will be at lunch and it would take forever to catch him up on the whole kiss thief thing. Unless he’s taking another day off, I mean.
” She pushed open the door and pulled me through it.
“Ah! You distracted me from my Axel theory!” I wasn’t done discussing that yet.
“I figured you’d never go to lunch otherwise and I’m starving.”
“Soph! What if it’s him?”
She shrugged. “What if it is? Does it change how you feel about Jacob?”
“No, of course not. But...I...”
“Let’s just say your kiss thief is Axel,” she said. “Would you start dating Axel and break up with Jacob?”
I opened my mouth and closed it again.
“Yes you would break up with Jacob? Or no you wouldn’t?”
“Of course I wouldn’t,” I said. I didn’t hesitate this time. Axel had his chance. I’d given him so many opportunities. He didn’t like me back. End of story. I was with Jacob now and that’s what I wanted.
“Then don’t sweat it. Besides, it’s not Axel. I’m great at reading the room and I’m sorry to say it, but Axel is just not that into you. Don’t make that face at me!”
“I didn’t realize I was making a face.”
“You were. And I’m allowed to say that now because you’re in love with Jacob. I wanted it to work out for you and Axel for years. I was so Team Axel. But it’s his loss, Scar. And you and Jacob are perfect together. Look, he already got you lunch. He’s the sweetest.”
I looked over at our table. Jacob was sitting there with two trays, laughing about something with my brother.
I couldn’t ask for a better guy than Jacob. I needed to let this Axel thing go. He wasn’t the kiss thief. I tried not to be obvious, but everyone around me knew I had a crush on Axel. If Axel had even liked me back just a little bit, wouldn’t he have already acted on it?
“And my money is on Zach the Stallion,” Sophie said. “At least, I hope it’s him. You only ever want to go on dates with guys with big dick energy. And a member to back it up.”
I laughed. “Great advice, but I’m good.”
“I know you are. I still can’t believe that Jacob was secretly hiding such a large trouser snake. I’d be jealous if I wasn’t so happy for you. I’m gonna go grab lunch.” She walked off.
I took a deep breath and walked over to Jacob. “Thanks for getting me lunch again. I’m going to owe you a hundred meals.” I plopped down next to him.
“No problem.” He kissed my cheek. “So what did RJ tell you yesterday? You never texted me last night.”
“RJ didn’t tell me anything. Liam said RJ told him it was Mr. Halifax.”
Liam laughed.
“But you were joking, right?” Jacob asked him.
“I have no idea if RJ was joking or not,” Liam said. “Could you imagine if it really was Mr. Halifax though? Dad would have to beat the shit out of him a second time.”
“I think Mr. Halifax held his own,” I said.
Jacob looked down at me.
“Not that I’m on Mr. Halifax’s side. Obviously. I...” My voice trailed off. “I don’t know who my kiss thief is.” My heart started pounding. Yeah, I was definitely having a heart attack or something.
“I can’t believe RJ won’t tell you,” Jacob said. “But oh well.” He took a bite of his sandwich like that was the end of the conversation.
Oh well? That’s all he had to say? I stared at him. “But I can definitely convince RJ to tell me.”
Jacob shrugged. “Doesn’t he want a favor in return? It’s really not worth it, Scarlett. Who cares who that creepy kiss thief was?”
I swallowed hard. I cared. I really freaking cared. How could Jacob not? “RJ said I could find out Friday night. If I want.”
“What time? I was hoping you could come over for dinner Friday night. Just tell RJ that you already have plans.”
Sophie sat down next to Liam. She didn’t say a word, but she gave me a look. A look that meant it was time to lie to my boyfriend.
I really didn’t want to lie. But Jacob didn’t think unmasking my kiss thief was important.
And it was important to me. I was doing it.
I had to. God, I really didn’t want to keep lying to him though.
Was there a world that existed where he wouldn’t be upset if I just told him the truth?
I mean...he’d have to understand if going on the date was my only option of unmasking my kiss thief.
“Earth to Scar,” Liam said and waved his hand in front of my face.
I had just been sitting here debating this in my head looking like a total maniac. And I think I had my conclusion. There definitely wasn’t a world that existed where Jacob wouldn’t be mad. Especially because he wanted to have dinner with me. And I’d be having dinner with someone else.
“So...is that a yes to dinner on Friday?” Jacob asked.
He was so sweet. And I was a monster. Because I was about to take Sophie’s advice and lie my ass off.
I cleared my throat. “I’m not sure. RJ wants it to be a whole grand reveal, you know him.
He said he’d text me the time and place.
But he made it seem like it would be around dinner time. ” Since I was going out to dinner...
“That’s fine,” Jacob said. “I’ll be calling it an early night anyway because of the game on Saturday. At least you can come to the victory party.”
“Don’t jinx it,” I said. But they were undefeated this year. They probably would win.
I could feel Liam staring at me. RJ must have told him about the dinner date thing.