Chapter 40 – COSIMA
COSIMA
I stand at the window, staring out at the gardens below where Azarel tried to kidnap me less than two hours ago.
The fountain where Knight slammed him into the marble is still cracked, water pooling around the broken stone like blood.
Servants are already working to clean up the mess, their white robes ghosting through the greenery like spirits.
Everything I have done... everything I will do until my dying breath... is for you, Cosima.
Azarel's words echo in my skull, refusing to be silenced.
I press my forehead against the cool glass, trying to find some anchor in the sensation of the chill biting through my skin. But it's not enough to drown out the chaos in my head.
He looked so fucking sincere when he said it.
Like he actually believed his own bullshit.
Maybe he does.
That might be worse.
I've spent months trying to convince myself I hate him. That whatever we had together died the moment he left me. But seeing him again, hearing his voice, catching that scent of sunlight that used to mean safety...
Fuck.
I'm not over him, am I?
But I don't trust him, either, so where the hell does that leave us? Like my mother used to say, an alpha you can't trust is as useless as tits on a bull. Sounds a bit more elegant in Vrissian, but the gist is the same.
The door opens behind me without warning. I don't turn, too lost in my own head to care who it is. Probably a servant coming to check on the defective omega who's been causing international incidents all afternoon.
"Thought you'd be resting."
Nikolai's voice makes me jump, my hand flying to my chest. I spin around to find him leaning against the doorframe with Raven and Geo flanking him. They look like they've been through a war. Which I guess we all have, if you want to get technical about it.
Nikolai's shirt is torn and bloodstained, his red glasses slightly askew on his scarred face. Raven's golden hair is disheveled, his nose still swollen and bruised. Geo's limping worse than before, his eye patch slightly crooked.
They're a mess.
And they're here.
"I was restless," I say, which is the understatement of the fucking century.
Raven's gaze softens with concern as he moves closer. "Understandable, goddess. It's been quite the day."
"That's one way to put it," I mutter, turning back to the window. The servants have already partially rebuilt the fountain, sealing the new stone with some sort of light on a stick. They're certainly efficient. Just like everything else in this pristine prison of a palace. "Where's Knight?"
"Taking first shift keeping an eye on Azzhole," Geo says, and there's something in his voice. Careful. Like he's weighing every word before it leaves his mouth.
My hackles rise immediately. "First shift?"
"We're rotating," Nikolai explains, pushing off from the doorframe to prowl closer. "Making sure your ex doesn't try anything stupid while we're all sleeping."
The casual way he says "your ex" makes my stomach twist up into knots. Is that what Azarel is now? My ex? The word feels wrong. Too simple for whatever fucked up thing we had. Have. Had?
Fuck, I don't even know anymore.
"That's... thoughtful," I manage, though my mind is churning. They're being weird. All three of them. Too careful, like they're walking on eggshells around a bomb that might detonate at any second.
I guess I can't really blame them after the train incident and then the whole drugging and kidnapping royalty thing, but it's still annoying as shit.
But there's something else. Something they're not saying.
I didn't live my entire life before this as a glorified bird in a cage without learning to read when an alpha's keeping something from me.
Especially my alphas, and if there's one piece of clarity I've gotten from this little pilgrimage, it's that my alphas is exactly what these idiots are.
I study them more closely, noting the way Geo won't quite meet my eyes. The way Raven's fingers tap against his thigh in that nervous tell he thinks isn't completely obvious. The way Nikolai's jaw is working like he's chewing on words he can't spit out.
They're keeping something from me.
Of course they are. They're alphas. Keeping shit from omegas is practically hardwired into their DNA, right alongside the urge to piss on things and start brawls over nothing.
And I'm sure Azarel, the crowned king of obfuscation, has something to do with it even if I'm not sure what it is yet.
Geo clears his throat roughly. "How are you feeling?"
The question catches me off guard.
"I'm fine," I say automatically.
His one visible eye narrows. "Bullshit."
I arch my eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me." He limps closer. I can tell he's trying and failing to hide the pain with every step.
He's still clearly refusing to wear the brace I heard the Surhiiran medics talking about giving him.
Stubborn bastard. "You had a full-blown dissociative episode on a moving train while holding a gun and then your ex tried to kidnap you. That's not 'fine' by any definition."
Heat and mild irritation prickles up my neck. "I don't need you psychoanalyzing me."
"Not psychoanalyzing," he counters in a gruff tone, stopping just close enough that I have to tilt my head back to maintain eye contact with the huge alpha. "Just calling bullshit when I hear it."
We stare each other down for what feels like forever. I'm about to tell him exactly where he can shove his concern when he does the last fucking thing I expected.
Geo reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, his rough fingers gentle as they graze my cheek.
My throat tightens so much it hurts.
"I'm gonna get out of here and keep Knight company," he says quietly, his hand dropping. "Make sure he doesn't actually eat Azarel. Be good."
The shift in tone is so abrupt it gives me whiplash. I blink, trying to process the sudden retreat from vulnerability back to gruff practicality.
"While you're out there," I hear myself say, "see if you can find some less gamey alphas for Knight to eat instead."
Geo's lips twitch in what might be amusement. "Even a place as posh as Surhiira has to have a few shitbags lying around."
He limps to the door, and I watch him go with a strange ache in my heart. Once he's gone, the silence feels heavier.
I turn to find Nikolai and Raven both watching me with identical expressions of concern they both seem to think they're masking.
"What?" I demand, crossing my arms defensively.
"Nothing," Raven says too quickly, that silver tongue of his suddenly tied.
Suspicious.
Very fucking suspicious.
It hits me that all my alarm bells would normally be going off, red flags flicking up like popcorn, but they're not. No matter what these alphas are keeping from me, I'm sure they've got it in their stainless-steel skulls that they're actually protecting me.
Annoying, but not terrifying.
Huh.
I sigh, suddenly exhausted down to my bones. The adrenaline that's been keeping me upright is crashing hard, leaving nothing but bone-deep weariness in its wake. "I'm going to bed."
I move toward the bedroom, expecting them to leave. To go back to wherever they're staying in this massive suite. But they don't move. They just stand there, watching me with those careful eyes.
Yep. These three are keeping something from me that's big enough they're all in agreement about hiding it, which is a fucking miracle considering they can barely agree on what to eat for breakfast.
Seduction has always been my most reliable tool for getting the truth out of alphas. They get distracted, let their guard down, say things they shouldn't when their blood is rushing to their cocks instead of to their brains.
It's worked on everyone from Monty's business associates to Council members to—
Stop.
I shove the memories down before they can surface. Not now. Not when I need to be present, focused, in control. And for once, I'll be using my skills of seduction on alphas who make my spine tingle rather than make my skin crawl.
Even if they are overprotective idiots.
I pause in the doorway and turn back, letting my gaze drift over both of them with obvious intent. "Are you boys coming?"
Raven's eyes widen slightly, and Nikolai goes completely still. Like I've just suggested laid a trap instead of inviting them to bed.
"Cosima..." Nikolai starts, his voice rough.
"I could use a distraction," I say, letting my silk robe slip slightly off one shoulder. "Unless you'd rather I spend the night thinking about Azarel?"
Nikolai's the first to move, covering the distance between us with that predatory grace that makes my pulse kick up. "What kind of distraction did you have in mind?"
His voice is pure sin, rough and dark and promising things that make heat pool low in my belly.
Raven follows, slower, more hesitant. That's… unusual. But there's something vulnerable in his eyes that wasn't there before. Like he's afraid this is a trap.
Smart boy.
"The kind that makes me forget," I say, which isn't entirely a lie. I do want to forget. Want to stop thinking about Azarel and the way my heart still fucking aches when I see his stupid face.
I step backward into the bedroom, letting them follow. The space is obscenely luxurious, outfitted with silk draperies and carved wooden furniture. A massive bed dominates the room, easily big enough for five people and begging to be a nest.
Good thing, too, considering Knight will probably want to join us later. And he'll take up at least half the bed. Nikolai and Raven are tall, even for alphas, but not as huge as Knight and Geo.
Oh. I'm definitely thinking about Geo, too.
Especially after… whatever the fuck that was.