Chapter 40 – COSIMA #2
When did I start thinking like that? Planning for all of them like it's normal for me to have four alphas in my bed?
Wondering what it would be like to actually go through a heat surrounded by alphas I trust to care for me and treat me like a person rather than a fucktoy or an object to be traded around for favors?
Even once Azarel showed up and put an end to Monty's abuse, the pills kept me from going into heat. Every time we made love was a moment stolen from our mutual captors, even if his leash was longer than mine…
"Cosima."
Nikolai's voice snaps me back to the present. He's closer now, close enough that I can feel the heat of his body. Alphas are like living furnaces. His hand comes up to cup my jaw, tilting my face toward his.
"Where'd you go just now?" he asks quietly.
The concern in his voice doesn't touch the fear in his eyes. This powerful, lawless alpha is afraid. For me. Like he thinks I'm going to drift away from them again, the way I did on the train.
"Nowhere," I lie, meeting his gaze. "I'm here."
His thumb strokes across my cheekbone, the touch gentle despite the violence I know those hands are capable of. "You sure about this?"
I'm not sure about much of anything anymore. But this… feels right. I nod, rising on my toes to try to close the distance between us. His lips meet mine halfway, and the kiss is nothing like I expected. It's not rough or demanding or claiming.
It's almost... tender.
Fuck.
How am I supposed to seduce him for conniving purposes when he's making me want to do it for very real reasons?
I pull back, breathless and more unsettled than before.
Nikolai's watching me with those mismatched eyes and there's something in his expression that makes my carefully constructed walls feel paper-thin.
"You're tense," Raven murmurs from behind me, his hands settling on my hips. "Let us take care of you, goddess."
His breath is warm against my neck, and I shiver. They're making it too easy to actually get distracted. I need to regain the upper hand.
Now.
I step back from both of them, letting the robe slip fully from my shoulders to pool at my feet. The nightgown beneath is sheer enough to be pointless, leaving absolutely nothing to imagination. I watch their reactions, the way Nikolai's pupil blows wide, the way Raven's breath catches.
Good.
That's better.
I move to the bed, settling on the edge and crossing my legs. The nightgown rides up my thighs, but I don't bother adjusting it. Let them look. Let them want.
Nikolai moves toward me like a man in a trance, but I stop him with my foot against his chest. He freezes, eyes widening as he looks down, following the line of my leg to where the nightgown has ridden up completely.
I'm not wearing anything underneath it.
"Fuck," he breathes, his hands coming up to wrap around my ankle. The touch is reverent, almost worshipful, and it sends heat rushing through me.
I lean back on my elbows, letting my legs fall open wider. "I'm in the mood for a different kind of distraction, actually."
My gaze shifts to Raven, who's gone completely still. His cheeks are flushed, and I can see the moment understanding dawns in those blue eyes.
He knows what I'm asking for.
What I want to watch.
"You've got to be kidding," Nikolai mutters, but his voice is strained. His hand is still wrapped around my ankle, thumb stroking the sensitive skin there in a way that makes my toes curl.
"I know you've fucked before," I say, keeping my voice light despite the way my heart is pounding. "What's one more time? For old time's sake?"
The silence that follows is electric. Nikolai's grip on my ankle tightens slightly, and Raven makes a soft, nervous sound.
"Cosima..." Nikolai's voice is rough, warning. "You don't know what you're asking."
"Don't I?" I pull my foot out of his grasp and sit up, running my hands up his thighs to the obvious bulge straining against his pants. "I think I'm being pretty clear about what I want."
His breath hisses through his teeth as I palm him through the fabric, thoroughly enjoying the thick length of him twitching at my touch. "And what exactly is that?"
I maintain eye contact as I work to undo the button of his pants, then the zipper.
His cock springs free, thick and already leaking at the tip.
I lean forward, running my tongue up the underside from knot to crown, tasting salt and that alpha musk tinged with his scent.
A scent that makes my pussy clench around nothing, unlike the revulsion I feel for nearly every other alpha on this planet.
He groans, his hand fisting in my hair. Not pulling, just holding. Like he needs the anchor.
I pull back just enough to meet his eyes, letting my lips brush against the sensitive head of his cock as I speak. "I want you to fuck Raven."
His gaze glazes over, his pupil blown so wide there's barely any gray left. "Cosima—"
"While Raven is inside me," I finish, swirling my tongue around the crown before taking him deeper.
"Fuck," Raven breathes from across the room, and when I glance at him, he's staring at us like he's struggling to resist touching himself.
Nikolai's hand tightens in my hair, not quite painful but firm enough to make my scalp tingle. "Are you ever going to let me inside you?" he asks through gritted teeth.
I release his cock with a wet pop, smirking up at him. "Maybe. If you prove you can be gentle."
It's a challenge. A test. And we both know it.
His eyes flash with something dark and hungry, but he doesn't argue. Instead, he turns that intensity on Raven, who's still frozen by the door like a beautiful statue.
"Get over here," Nikolai orders, his voice dropping to that commanding tone that makes my thighs clench. Not a bark, but equally compelling in its own right.
Raven moves like he's being pulled by invisible strings, crossing the room in three quick strides. His scent spikes with arousal. Honey and rain and hunger.
Nikolai grabs him by the hair—gentler than I expected, but still firm—and pushes him onto the bed. Raven goes willingly, his eyes wide and dark with want.
"On your knees," Nikolai commands, and there's no room for argument in that tone. "Lick her first."
Raven scrambles to obey, positioning himself between my legs with an eagerness that makes me bite my lip. Always so eager to please. His hands are shaking as they slide up my thighs, pushing the nightgown higher.
"Beautiful," he murmurs, almost to himself. "You're so fucking beautiful, goddess."
Then his mouth is on me, and coherent thought becomes impossible.
He licks me like he's starving, like I'm the first meal he's had in days. His tongue finds my clit, circling it with just the right amount of pressure before dipping lower to taste the slick already coating my inner thighs.
"Oh," I gasp, my hands flying to his hair. The golden strands are silk between my fingers as I hold him there, hips rolling against his face.
He moans against me, the vibration sending sparks up my spine. His hands grip my thighs, spreading me wider, and I can feel him losing himself in it. In me.
That's when I notice Nikolai behind him, settling on the bed with predatory focus. He's shed his jeans, cock jutting proud and thick between his legs. There's something almost clinical in the way he studies us, like he's planning his approach.
Then his hand dips between my legs where Raven is still devouring me, fingers gathering the slick the other alpha's tongue has spread everywhere. Raven whimpers against my cunt, clearly aware of what's coming.
"Relax," I murmur, stroking Raven's hair as Nikolai's slick-coated fingers disappear from view. "You're doing so good. Such a good boy."
Raven cries out against me, the sound muffled but desperate. His tongue falters for a moment as Nikolai's fingers breach him, but then he's licking me with renewed fervor, like he needs the distraction.
"That's it," Nikolai growls, his free hand gripping Raven's hip. "Take it. You want to fuck her, you have to earn it."
I watch, transfixed, as Nikolai works him open. One finger becomes two, scissoring and stretching. Raven's entire body trembles, caught between my legs and Nikolai's invasion.
"Fuck," he groans, shuddering. There's equal strain and pleasure in his voice and I can tell he hasn't done this for a while.
Probably since he found me, I realize.
"Look at me," I command, and Raven's glassy eyes snap to mine immediately. "Relax and focus. You're going to make me come while Nikolai gets you ready for him."
His breath rushes hot against my cunt in response to my words and his eyes glaze with lust. He redoubles his efforts, tongue flicking against my clit in rapid strokes that make my thighs shake. Nikolai adds a third finger and Raven's cry vibrates through me.
"Fuck," I gasp, my head falling back as pleasure coils tight in my belly. "Just like that. Don't stop, don't—"
The orgasm hits like lightning, white-hot and devastating. I come with a sharp cry, hips bucking against Raven's face as he licks me through it, drawing out every aftershock until I'm boneless and tugging his hair.
When I can focus again, Nikolai's got both hands on Raven's hips and the other alpha is panting against my thigh, his face wet with my slick and his own saliva.
"Good boy," I murmur, stroking his hair. "So good for us."
He whimpers, nuzzling into my hand like he's starved for touch. And maybe he is. Maybe we all are. We're a fucking disaster stealing these moments of normalcy where we can.
"Inside her," Nikolai commands, his hand guiding Raven's hips forward. "Now."
Raven doesn't need to be told twice. He positions himself at my entrance, the thick head of his cock nudging against me. His cock is more slender than Nikolai's, but just as long, and curved in a perfect, slight arc. His eyes find mine, seeking permission even though I've already given it.