5. Spencer
5
SPENCER
I t was rare for me to wake up in my sun-drenched Beverly Hills bedroom.
Almost as soon as I came home from the overseas trip that Dad forced on me, I got a place in the Bay Area. Knowing what I wanted to do with my life meant the need to be close to the action. That meant moving to Silicon Valley.
I didn’t have the heart to get rid of this place, though. It had come in handy. There were nights over the years when I’d crashed here after partying harder than expected. I’ve loaned it to friends, though that’s something I stopped doing after a Fourth of July weekend that ended with a tearful call from my cleaning lady and more than a little redecorating. Sometimes, it didn’t pay to be generous.
Saying Rowan was the first thing to go through my mind when I opened my eyes wouldn’t be quite true since thoughts of her never stopped once I closed them. I had fallen asleep after hours of thinking about her. She was the star of every dream last night. The accident, of course—vivid and graphic and so damn real. Though, it wasn’t the only thing. I closed my eyes again, trying to hold onto the memory of her at the club.
Then, the world around me faded, and I was back in the crowded, dimly lit club. The air was thick with the scent of beer, sticky liquor soaking into the worn floors. The thrum of bass pulsed through my chest, vibrating up my spine as voices rose and fell in an almost primal roar. Bodies pressed together, jostling for space at the bar, a hot, chaotic wave of people, but all I saw was her.
She was there, behind the counter, pouring drinks with a practiced grace that made it look easy. Her ponytail swung with every movement, catching the light just right, gleaming like gold. Her smile cut through the noise, wide and unguarded, as if nothing could touch her here, in this moment. I watched the way her eyes caught the room—bluer than the ocean, bluer than anything I’d ever seen. It’s like she knew something the rest of us didn’t.
How wasn’t every man here hopelessly in love with her? I couldn’t tear my gaze away, and for a second, it felt like I was the only one who saw her for what she was—more than the usual faces that blended into the city nightlife. There was nothing typical about her. She moved like she owned the space, her steps light, quick, her presence magnetic.
It wasn’t her beauty that had pulled me in like a fish with a hook in its mouth. It was her. The warmth she exuded. I could hardly hear a word she said, but I felt her genuine decency like a quiet warmth settling over me. She wasn’t flirting, shoving her tits in my face in hopes of a bigger tip. There was nothing false about her.
I found out later that night the rest of her was very real too. My hands and mouth had examined every inch of her body until I had her memorized.
There was another regret to be added to the rest. I was a dumbass kid then, twenty-two, thinking I had the answers when it came to taking care of a woman’s pleasure. What I had lacked in skill, I made up for in stamina. Now, with another decade-plus of experience under my belt, I could make her toes curl in record time.
The thought took my concentration and moved it south, thickening my dick. I couldn’t stop the groan that vibrated in my throat. Fuck, she was a living sin, strikingly beautiful beyond words.
She responded to my touch with a palpable intensity—her eyes dilated, and her breath quickened, betraying the heat that surged through her.
She loved it like this, from behind, relishing the way I filled heras I gripped her hips and drove into her. Her squeals and desperate pleas for more sent a fire through me that I didn’t want to be doused.
Memories of her were vivid. Her fists twisted in the sheets, her ass jiggling. She loved it when I wrapped her hair around my fist and tugged.
She had made me feel like a king, claiming her, fucking her until she was a pretty, sweaty mess.
I was hard as steel by the time I wrapped my fingers around my shaft. The precum oozing from my tip served as lube. I used it, coating my cock, imagining it was her tight, hot cunt clenching around instead. Or her mouth. She loved giving head and would get wet sucking on my length, bobbing up and down. Sometimes, I would have her turn around so I could eat her pussy, while other times, I’d settle for fingering her while she gave me great head. Those muffled, throaty moans used to drive me crazy.
The sound of my breathing filled the room as I fucked my fist with her face in my mind’s eye and the memory of her whispers in my ears. “ Fuck me, Spencer. Make me come for you. ”
My long, low groan was an exclamation point, filling the bedroom as I spurted once, twice, still indulging in memories that had been locked away for years, waiting to be brought out one day.
One thing was clear by the time I got out of bed and walked naked to the bathroom—I had to see her again. No way would I leave things as they were, with her walking out on me. I couldn’t let the team down by risking the worst. There had to be a way to smooth things over.
My mind was made up by the time the first beads of icy water hit my skin. Cold showers always snapped me out of any lingering brain fog, which was what I needed after a restless night full of broken dreams.
There was another task I had to tackle first. My heart was heavy when, still wrapped in a towel post-shower, I texted Miles. He deserved to know what I was juggling, especially since he’d come clean with me the minute we heard Damian was digging into his past in London.
Me: Give me a call when you can. Not an emergency.
My phone rang not five seconds after the text went through. “I told you it’s not an emergency,” I answered by way of greeting. “The last thing I need is a new bride on my ass for waking her husband up early on their honeymoon.”
Miles yawned, then snorted with laughter. “It’s not a problem. I’m jet-lagged to hell and back, anyway. What do you have for me?”
“I hate to do this to you on your honeymoon, but…” It was like ripping off a Band-Aid. Better to get it over with right away, all at once. “Honest to God, I hadn’t thought about her in years,” I concluded after giving him the condensed version of our history. “I wasn’t trying to keep it from you.”
He kept me waiting for what felt like an eternity before grunting. “I’m glad you told me about this. I take it no one else knows?”
“Not even my closest friends here in town. Only my father and his lawyer, and we never discussed it again.” As far as Dad was concerned, it never happened. He sent me to China to work in our shipping offices and washed his hands of the whole thing.
“And the girl,” Miles added.
“And her.”
“What are you going to do about her? Do you think she’s a threat?”
“Don’t worry about that,” I told him, gazing out the windows overlooking downtown. She was out there somewhere, going about her life the way she had all this time like I didn’t exist.
It bothered me more than it should have.
“Respectfully, I’m a little worried.” He sounded so damn British when he said it.
“We’ll be fine. She kept mentioning the contract, and she’s a lawyer. She knows better than to break a binding agreement.” Because, of course, Dad wouldn’t leave anything to chance. I’d been too fucked in the head at the time to think much about it—worried for Rowan, hating myself, guessing she hated me twice as much. I was unable to reach her, obsessed with finding her, always waiting for somebody to show up at the front door with a warrant for my arrest. It was only when he mentioned the agreement she’d signed that my fears cooled a little, but he’d immediately dropped the bomb about sending me to China to hedge our bets and keep my reputation intact. I was too relieved at the time to question it.
The whole thing made my head spin more than a decade later.
“Exactly what was in this contract?”
“To tell you the truth, I never saw it.” When he groaned, I continued, “If there’s one person my old man always had faith in, it was his lawyer. Jarvis Daniels. The man could work miracles, though I don’t think God or Heaven had much to do with it.” Speaking his name brought his image to mind. I had never seen him out of a dark suit like he was always on his way to a funeral.
“I suppose a lawyer would know better than to break a binding contract.” I couldn’t tell whether Miles was coming around or trying to convince himself. It didn’t matter either way. I knew what I was talking about, and that was enough for me.
“Go enjoy your honeymoon. I’ll keep you posted.” Setting the phone aside, I heaved a sigh. Dad and Jarvis had jumped through hoops to keep me from facing the consequences of that awful, reckless night.
After a frantic 911 call, I’d immediately called Dad, who’d ordered me to keep my mouth shut and wait for Jarvis to arrive. All it took was a horrific, completely avoidable crash and the unconscious, blood-covered girl beside me to turn an arrogant prick into a terrified little boy begging Daddy for help, imagining nothing but an empty life ahead of me, my name forever tainted.
It was hard to imagine how many people he paid off to keep me out of the narrative, remove my car from reports, and have reports destroyed altogether. He’d systematically covered up the entire thing.
But then again, there was nothing money couldn’t do. It had the power to make a person disappear the way I had disappeared, whether I liked it or not. At the time, thinking Rowan had to hate me and wished we had never met, leaving the country seemed to make sense. What else did I have to keep me in California?
I had taken the coward’s way out, and there was now a chance of it coming back to haunt us unless I found a way to make sure Rowan wouldn’t decide to retaliate.
* * *
“Is Miss McNulty available? I need to see her.”
The cute redhead behind the reception desk frowned ever so slightly. “Are you the gentleman who called earlier this morning asking for an appointment?”
“I am,” I told her, as if telling me Rowan was busy would make a damn bit of difference.
She sighed loud enough to get the point across. I was a pain in the ass she didn’t have time for. “Like I told you on the phone, she is in the middle of a conference and rarely accepts walk-in appointments, Mr.…”
“Collins. Spencer Collins.” I lowered my voice, cocking an eyebrow while delivering a slow smile that never failed. “Trust me. She’ll want to see me, and I won’t take up too much of her time.”
Her stony expression softened the way I knew it would. “I’ll see what I can do.” Still, she looked like she wished I had never walked through the door as she picked up her phone and dialed an extension. When it was clear I wasn’t going to do the gentlemanly thing and walk away, she turned slightly away in her chair, mumbling.
Rowan would see me. Not because she wanted to but because curiosity wouldn’t let her turn me down. She wouldn’t want me to think of her as a coward, either. Time might have changed some things, but it couldn’t change a person’s nature. There was a reason we clicked the way we did back in the day, and it wasn’t purely physical. Something in her had appealed to something in me.
Though the physical aspect was definitely there.
“I just want to be famous.” Her voice was soft, wistful. She traced invisible shapes on my chest with one polished fingernail, sighing. “I want to stand up there on a stage while holding an award. I want to soak in all the applause. I want those blinding lights in my eyes.”
I shouldn’t have chuckled. Her head snapped up, eyes flashing. “What? You don’t think I can?”
“Relax.” I folded an arm under my head, laughing when she swatted my hand away from her shoulder. “Why do you always get pissed off before I get a chance to explain?”
Her body sagged against mine a little as she whispered, “I guess you don’t know what it’s like when all you ever hear is people laughing at your dreams.”
“Mr. Collins?” I turned around to face the receptionist and her strained smile. “Miss McNulty finished the conference early so she could accommodate you.” It had better be worth it. She didn’t have to say it out loud. I got the message.
Rather than remind her I’d told her so, I followed her through the small office. It was almost quaint, not much more than a well-decorated hole in the wall. I would have to keep my opinions to myself—something told me Rowan wouldn’t appreciate hearing them.
What was I doing? Flying blind by the seat of my pants. Last night left a bad taste in my mouth. She could fall back on that contract all she wanted, but I needed to be sure.
And dammit, she’d had the last word. That didn’t sit well with me, either.
She sat behind a modern, sleek desk in a similarly appointed office with a decent view of downtown. Her sleeveless, sky-blue dress almost matched her eyes and showed off her firm body without revealing too much. Sexy as all fuck.
“Can I get you something to drink?” the receptionist asked me while Rowan stared at her computer screen, fingers tapping the keys.
“No, thank you.” What I needed was for her to leave us alone. She did that soon enough, closing the door behind her, leaving me standing in the middle of the room like a jackass.
“I said everything I had to say last night.” Rowan was still typing, focused on the screen, effectively ignoring me. “Everything is settled, and you have nothing to worry about. But thank you for giving me an excuse to get off the phone. I was bored out of my mind.”
“Don’t tell me that’s all you care about.”
“Getting off the phone?” she asked.
So this was the game she wanted to play. “Everything being settled,” I gritted out.
Her head snapped around almost eerily fast. “What if it is?” She was glaring, but she was looking at me. At least, she could give me that much courtesy.
“Do we have to leave things like this?” If there was ever a time for my charm to come to the rescue, it was now. I flashed a grin, approaching the desk with my hands in my pockets. “You mean to say after all these years, there’s nothing but hostility? I’ve already explained that I wanted to be there for you.”
“And I appreciate that. I understand now.” Her fingers drummed faintly on the desk, something I pointedly ignored.
Taking a seat without waiting for permission, I shrugged. “Why don’t we try again?”
She gave a start like an electric current ran through her, asking, “Try what, exactly? Because I think we’re past the dating stage. And thanks to you, I’m now allergic to irresponsible playboys.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m no longer irresponsible,” I reminded her with a smirk while devouring her with my gaze. She had no idea what that icy attitude did to me, how it made me want to melt her down.
“Meaning what?” she asked, suspicious.
Meaning you look like mortal sin in that dress, and I want an excuse to peel it off you. “Meaning, let me take you for dinner tonight. Believe it or not, I would like to know more about your life.”
Her teeth sank into her lip, and fuck me. Everything the woman did was designed to drive me crazy. I had the feeling the last thing she hoped for was my hands anywhere near her body, meaning she wouldn’t intentionally turn me on.
Down, boy . Here I was, concerned with a possible scandal over the crash, and now I was looking at the possibility of a harassment suit if I popped a boner out of nowhere.
With her eyes downcast, she murmured, “There isn’t much to know.”
Did she know what a bad liar she was? “Tell me something. In your particular type of law, do you have to do a lot of bluffing? If you do, you might want to get better at it.”
“That’s enough. You can go now. Honestly,” she insisted, shooing me toward the door with one hand. “You can go your way with a clear conscience. I made it through. I came out on the other side, and I’m doing better than ever. I don’t need you to take me to dinner to smooth things over, and I’m not particularly interested in what life looks like for you nowadays.”
“Are you sure about that?” Because, again, she wouldn’t look me in the eye. Not for long, averting her gaze like it hurt to look at me. Like she was lying.
“Sorry to inform you.” Her full lips curved in a sarcastic, sugary smile. “But you are not that fascinating.”
“I think you’re lying.”
“And I think you’re unbelievably full of yourself,” she retorted.
“Oh, I know I am.” The line hit home, and her small giggle told me I was winning the battle. “You don’t even want to know how I ended up getting into tech?”
For the first time since we met up yesterday, her mouth switched to something dangerously close to a genuine smile. “Probably because it’s the opposite of what your father would want you to do? Just taking a shot in the dark.”
I’d wondered if she would remember. That slight touch of familiarity boosted my confidence. “Something close to that. But I won’t elaborate now. It’s the kind of story that should be shared over dinner.”
She ran a hand through her hair, then tucked it behind her ear. The strangest urge took hold of me while I watched. I wanted to be the one doing that—touching her soft hair and even softer skin. It had been a long time. With memories flying hard and fast, I was a starving man craving sustenance in the form of her body.
Her shoulders sank as she informed me, “I already have plans tonight.”
So much for the semi beginning to stir in my pants. “You said that last night.”
“It was true last night, too,” she snapped. “What, you think I’ve waited around all these years for you? I have a life.”
Undeterred, I suggested, “Tomorrow, then. Or Sunday, or any night. I would make time for you.”
“Well, maybe that’s because you’re scared I’ll ruin your—” Her eyes closed before a sigh slipped out from between her parted lips. “That was wrong. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s fine.” It wasn’t, but I had a business to protect. People were counting on me.
In a softer voice, almost defeated, she asked, “Can I let you know? I’ll call you.” When I smirked, she groaned. “I will. I have to check on a few things first, that’s all.”
“You’re a busy woman,” I observed, feeling better now that I’d won this round.
“I am.” Clearing her throat, she sat up straighter in front of a wall covered in diplomas and certificates. She was proud of herself. She deserved it. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have something else I need to do. Don’t you have an office to get to?”
That was the thing. What I was doing in her office was business. Just not the way she thought of it. “My office is wherever I want to be. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”
I had planned on spending time in my office today, but there was nothing that couldn’t be moved. Not that I couldn’t take the jet back here at the last minute, but I didn’t feel like going through the hassle if she decided to cancel her plans for the night.
“Is that your idea of a good closing line?” she asked as I strolled from the room.
For the sake of making sure she didn’t change her mind, I kept my mouth shut, offering the receptionist a parting grin and taking the elevator down to the ground floor.
Walking down Wilshire Boulevard, I considered asking Lex to meet for drinks later. That was until Rowan’s text came through. It had barely been five minutes since I left. She wasn’t as standoffish as she wanted to pretend.
Rowan: Tomorrow night. Don’t make me regret this.
There was no hope of fighting off a grin that caught the eye of a passing goddess who smiled back invitingly. On another day, I might have taken her up on that silent invitation. Not when the pleasure of knowing I got under Rowan’s skin was so much more enjoyable. If anything, her hostility heightened the challenge.
This wasn’t about placating her, not anymore.
There was no ring on her finger. Fair game, as far as I was concerned.
By the time our night together was over, she would remember everything that made us so good together in the first place.