18
It's my last day here and I intend to take advantage of every minute. I didn’t close my eyes all night. Thinking about my relationship with the professor, the professional future that he’ll help me achieve, my fear of Johanna’s discovery and… the warmth that spreads between my legs whenever I think of my annoying, sexy boss. The honest conversation we had a few nights ago, when he confessed his feelings for me, suddenly excites me. It feels like my brain is processing and accepting my physical needs. The understanding that I want to get to know Scarface and allow him to get to know me is shocking, but this time I ignore my brain’s warning signals. I realize that I’m entitled to satisfy my physical needs with him. He’s constantly on my mind. I undress and feel as if he’s inspecting every part of my body. I shower and he’s standing in front of me, looking at me. I touch myself and he… oh my God, I must be losing my mind. The incident with the professor makes me reach one conclusion – I must fulfill my sexual fantasies with Scarface, if only to get rid of them once and for all. I walk towards the elevator and feel the warmth spreading through my body, and I feel a pleasant shudder down my spine.
The professor is waiting for me at the entrance to the restaurant where breakfast is served. The familiar shy smile is on his face and I have to force myself to push my erotic thoughts aside, the thoughts that have nothing to do with this perfect man who is here with me, and enjoy real quality time with him. He draws me into conversations with his colleagues and throughout the panels he encourages me to participate and ask questions. As the time passes, I enjoy my involvement and I find myself looking forward to the next opportunity. The main lecture ends, and just before we enter another panel, we’re stopped by Professor Karim.
“Elena,” he says to me, ignoring Professor Sawyer completely, “I’ll be starting on a new research study next semester. I've got a very serious funding from the European Union, and I think that you would be a valuable addition to our team. Are you interested?”
I put my hand over my mouth in surprise and turn my head to Professor Sawyer. He is not smiling, and his expression is cold.
“Thank you so much, Professor Karim,” I answer excitedly, “But I’ll have to say no.” I peek at my professor and see that his small smile has returned. “I have to focus on finishing my degree and then start to work on my thesis. Besides, I’m already a research assistant and I’m really enjoying every minute of it.”
“That’s too bad.” He shakes my hand. “If you change your mind, give me a call.” He hands me a business card and leaves.
“He just made you a very serious offer,” the professor whispers in my ear as we sit down, next to each other. “You should have given it some thought.”
“No,” I say decisively. “We agreed on something yesterday and I keep my word.”
He nods and continues looking at me until the panel starts.
The closing event of the conference is undoubtedly the most impressive one I’ve ever been to in my life. Ten researchers from various fields of physics challenge each other with some serious questions and I dare not even blink. Professor Sawyer is standing among them, and looks like the ultimate man to me, the epitome of perfection.
Again, the same ritual of adoring females surrounding him starts again and I leave him to ride the waves of admiration as I go up to my room to pack.
I meet him in the lobby, and we ride to the airport together. It’s evening already, and I am saddened by this return to reality.
This time, the stewardess at the counter gives us adjoining seats and as soon as the plane’s wheels leave the ground I start to panic. I’ll be back to my complicated reality very soon. I agreed to add another two courses without giving the matter much thought. It’s hard enough to meet all my other requirements already. I need to go back to my crappy job, as this is probably the only way I can afford tuition. Johanna discovered my dark secret, and my body is consistently demanding that I satisfy my immense attraction to Scarface. The most perfect man on earth is sitting right beside me, and all I can think about is satisfying my physical passion with a scarred criminal who is half-angel and half-beast. I must be losing it. The minute I got the news from my mother, something went wrong in my brain. It's simple, I reassure myself. I’ll get him to sleep with me and then, once and for all, I’ll be rid of the sick fantasy in my head. I’ll forbid Johanna to return to the bar and get my life back to studying and work. When my physical attraction to Scarface is no longer a factor, everything will be easier.
Professor Sawyer is reading a book and this time I made sure I had a book before the flight as well. His palm glides toward my thigh and then draws back. He sends me a small, secretive smile and I smile back understandingly.
He says goodbye at the airport with a formal handshake.
“I’ll see you tomorrow on campus.” I smooth the long shirtdress I'm wearing and tighten my belt.
“Don’t bother coming tomorrow,” he says casually. “Rest a little. I’ll only be repeating everything you heard at the conference in tomorrow’s lessons.”
“Fine.” I could use some rest before getting sucked back into my crazy routine. I give the cabdriver my luggage and turn back to him. “Three amazing days,” I smile. “I’ll never be able to show you how grateful I am.”
“Elena,” his face grows serious. “It was just as amazing for me.” He falls silent and then adds, “Thanks to you.” He drags his luggage towards the second cab.
Throughout the drive home my head is furiously swamped with thoughts. I’ll unpack. I’ll talk to Johanna and then I’ll go to the bar. It’s time to put an end to this repulsive fantasy.
I hurry up to the apartment and I’m disappointed to find it empty. I take my cellphone out of my bag and text her:
Where are you?
No answer. I unpack my luggage and send another message:
Johanna, where are you?
This time the answer arrives within seconds:
At the bar. Working. Where else would I be?
Damn! I clutch my head in panic and storm out of the apartment. I wait impatiently for a cab and give the driver the bar’s address. Luckily, this driver isn’t talkative. He doesn’t ask me anything, just looks at me strangely. Probably because I can’t stop moving nervously in my seat. When he stops at the entrance, I throw the money at him and hurry inside.