29. Laila
29
LAILA
“So—let’s talk revenge.” Guilia wags her brows over her drink, and I have to actually look around the restaurant to remind myself where I am.
I know where I’m not.
Not in Arsen’s office. Not wrapped around his waist while he drives into me.
To say I’ve been distracted since last night would be an understatement. Guilia’s plate is almost empty, and I’ve barely even touched my salad. How long have we been sitting here?
Things may be simple for Arsen, but my head has been a mess.
I focus on Guilia. “Who are we getting revenge on?”
“Your husband!” Guilia raises a brow. “Please tell me he didn’t take your credit cards after just one little shopping trip? If so, not to worry—you can get lines of credit through the store. This plan can still work.”
“Oh.” I take a sip of my cherry lemonade. “He didn’t take my cards. I actually think he’s glad to see me finally using them.”
Guilia sighs dreamily, cupping her chin in her palms. “A man after my own heart. Remind me why you’re on the outs with him? Because he’s looking pretty dreamy from where I’m sitting.”
I snort. “Does Enzo know all it takes to put hearts in your eyes is an unlimited shopping spree?”
“He knows. And he’s gone that route more than once.” She chuckles. “I’ve maxed out enough of his cards that I can’t blame him for being nervous when I put my shopping face on.”
I run a finger over the rim of my glass, laughing without really hearing what she’s saying. “Funny.”
Guilia lays her hand over mine, stopping my mindless circling. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
Images of Arsen shirtless flicker in my mind. I hear echoes of the words he rasped against my skin. I missed you. I missed all of you.
My face flushes, and I wince. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not looking for an apology, hon. How are things with Arsen?”
Hot. Out of control. Complicated.
“Things are… okay.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know what it means.” I toss my hands up. “We’ve been coparenting fine. He’s actually with Nina right now. He wanted some quality time with her.”
Guilia presses her hands to her heart, and yeah, I know . The man is a dreamboat. Arsen being a good dad the morning after he wrecked me on his desk isn’t offering up the clarity I thought it might.
Shocker.
“It’s quality time with me that is the problem,” I mumble. I drum my fingers against the table. “I’m scared to be alone with him.”
Guilia’s eyes narrow to slits. All at once, she’s the woman who snaps her fingers and gets people killed. “Did he hurt you?”
“What? Oh—no! No . Never.”
She blows out a breath. “Thank God. It was going to be a shame to kill a man so pretty.”
“Arsen has always been gentle with me.” Except the times when he isn’t gentle at all… like last night. My face flushes. “I just don’t trust myself around him. Especially since he’s been making such an effort lately with me and with Nina.”
Guilia clicks her tongue knowingly. “You have feelings for him, and he’s making himself hard to resist.”
I groan, dropping my face into my hands to hide my blush. “I’m pathetic.”
“Are you kidding? You forget I’ve seen your husband. As a very happily married woman, I can barely keep my hands off him.”
“But sex complicates everything. How am I supposed to know what I want when I look at him, and all I can think about is?—”
“Licking whipped cream off of his abs?” Guilia offers. When I frown, she laughs. “Fair enough. Food play isn’t for everyone. What about handcuffing him to the bed?” My frown deepens, and she raises her hands. “Don’t yuck my yum, Laila. I have as much right to my fantasies as the next girl.”
“Just as long as you keep my husband out of them,” I hear myself say.
Jesus . I sound a lot like Arsen.
Guilia cocks an eyebrow at me. “Well, well, it seems like you know exactly what you want: Arsen all to yourself.”
I drop my face to the table, mumbling through my folded arms. “Not wanting him with someone else doesn’t mean I want him with me.”
“Oh, who are you kidding, honey? You want that man. You’re just scared to get hurt again.” She yanks on my arm until I sit up. Her smile softens. “I know it’s a cliché, but love is a risk, Laila. Heartache is unavoidable when you’re that deeply involved with someone. My advice? If he’s willing to try, then let him. That’s rare. He’s not the kind of fish you just toss back to sea.”
Arsen is waiting in the driveway when Gedeon and I get home. Whipped cream and handcuffs flash in my mind thanks to Guilia’s demented fantasies, and I have to blink them away as I climb out of the car.
“Where’s Nina?”
Arsen opens the back door to show me Nina strapped into her car seat in the back. She’s playing with a crinkly avocado toy I don’t recognize and wearing a pink dress I’ve never seen before.
“Did you two go somewhere?” I ask, reaching to pull her out of the seat.
Arsen closes the door before I can. “No, but we’re about to. Come with us.”
“That’s okay.” I back away from him like the walking, talking temptation he is. How can he smell this good when we’re outdoors? It’s like his pores are pumping out pheromones at triple the rate of normal humans. “I’ll just go upstairs, and?—”
Arsen steps towards me. “I’d really like you to come with us, Laila. There’s something I want to show you.”
I glance over my shoulder, but Gedeon has disappeared into thin air. My heart is thundering like he’s asking me to go cliff diving with him instead of on a simple drive. Cliff diving might be the safer option. “What do you want to show me?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“For me?”
“For you and Nina.” He sinks his teeth into his lower lip, rocking on his heels like he’s on the edge of his seat waiting to hear what I’ll say. “Come on, roza . Come with me.”
Nina squeals from the backseat as if she already knows where we’re going, and I relent. “Oh, alright.”
Arsen doesn’t touch me as he holds the passenger door open. He doesn’t even try to make conversation on the drive. That doesn’t stop the tension from building between us until I’m sure the axles on the car will snap under the extra weight.
There’s no way Arsen can’t feel it, but he just drums his fingers on the wheel and keeps his eyes on the road.
“Almost there,” he says eventually.
I jump, realizing I’ve been staring at the side of his face for God-only-knows how long. I whip my attention to the window, face flushing, and see we’re in a fancy neighborhood.
The cobblestone roads are narrow with thick shade trees lining the sidewalks. The houses sit far back from the road, nestled into the woods like fairytale cottages—if fairytales were set in multi-million-dollar mansions.
Arsen turns at the end of the street and weaves up a secluded drive that stops in front of a wrought-iron gate. On the stone pillar on the side, there’s a new bronze sign that reads, Barnes House.
“Arsen,” I whisper, unable to take my eyes off of my name embossed on the sign, “what is this?”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he pulls out a key fob and presses the round button in the center. The gates spring open, and we drive through them and towards the two-story stone house in the center of the property.
Ivy crawls up the facade and wraps around tall, arched windows along the front. I’m still staring at the deep front porch and the cobblestone sidewalk when my door opens. Arsen is standing there, already having gotten Nina from her seat.
“You… bought… a house?” I ask, sliding out of the car on shaky legs. Somewhere in the distance, I hear running water.
“Actually—” He pulls out a large key on a gold keychain and hands it to me. “—I bought you a house.”
My jaw drops. “Excuse me?”
His smile is lopsided, a little uncertain for the first time in his life, as he puts an arm around my shoulders and leads me towards the front door. “You can do the honors.”
“This can’t be real,” I whisper in awe, even as I slide the key into the lock and push open the wooden double doors.
Our footsteps echo across the hardwood floors and the high ceiling. Nina lets out a little wail and then giggles when her voice comes back to her.
“I wanted you to be able to decorate it the way you envisioned,” Arsen explains. “I’m sure you’ll have ideas of what you want to do.”
“I don’t have any ideas right now,” I croak.
But that’s not true.
In each room we walk through, I can see everything perfectly. The plush sofa I’ll put in the living room with a matching ottoman for movie nights. The barstools we’ll install at the island in the kitchen, so Nina can sit and watch me make dinner.
Arsen pushes through the French doors out to the backyard, and I can see myself unrolling my mat on the brick patio and doing yoga out here at sunrise.
Finally, I turn to him. “What’s the catch?”
“No catch.” He raises his hands. “It’s yours, Laila. It’s in your name, and you are in total control of it as of this morning when I signed everything over.”
“But you said I couldn’t move out.” Now feels like a bad time to point this out. Maybe Arsen forgot about when he refused to let me get my own place, and now that I’ve reminded him, he’ll snatch the keys and my new favorite place to do yoga away.
But he just shrugs. “I realized you were right.”
If possible, my jaw drops even lower. “I want that phrase embossed under my name on the front gates. This is a momentous occasion.”
He rolls his eyes and kisses the top of Nina’s head. “You’re having a hard time seeing I’m capable of change. I figured the best way to prove it to you was to change. Now, if you ever want to leave, you have a safe place to go.”
Leave . Leave Arsen. Leave his house.
A dull ache forms in the center of my chest at the thought. Before it can spread, Arsen adds, “I’m not inviting you to move out. I don’t want you to leave. Actually—” He runs a hand over the back of his neck. “I’d fucking hate it if you left. But I want you to know that… that you can. If you need to.”
“So it’s an escape route?”
He grimaces. “Can we not make our marriage sound like a hostage situation? How about we call this a gesture of good faith? I’m giving you this house because I plan to keep my word and make sure you never have a reason to need to escape.”
“I… I don’t know what to say.” My eyes burn, but I swallow down the emotion and make a slow turn, taking in the place. “I can’t believe anyone would ever sell this place.”
“Believe me, they didn’t want to.”
I whirl around, eyes narrowed. “You didn’t kill the previous owners, did you?”
If the catch is that I’ll have to be haunted by the aggrieved previous owners…well, it would be a steep price to pay. But I’d pay it.
God, what is wrong with me?
“I gave them an offer they couldn’t refuse.”
“Now, I’m even more positive you did.” Sighing, I take in the rolling hills of the backyard, the chimney stacks rising from the peaked roofline. “This place is perfect. It’s like you plucked it out of my dreams. How did you know?”
“I had some help.”
The curve of his lips has me smacking my forehead as I realize the source. “My mom helped you? How?”
“I already told you: our main topic of conversation was you. She told me everything.”
I dab at the tears pooling in the corners of my eyes. “She always was rooting for you.”
“It’s one of the many reasons I miss her,” he agrees. “My team is a little sparser these days.”
My hands twitch towards him. I’m not sure if I want to throw my arms around him or kiss him or strangle him or little bits of all three. Problem is, I’m not sure I’ll be able to rein myself in if I cross that line.
“Thank you,” I murmur instead, unable to say more because of the giant lump in my throat.
“Do you want to stay a little longer?” he asks. “Or do you want to go home?”
I study his face, searching for signs of a test. Some sort of ultimatum that will determine the rest of our lives. But he gives nothing away.
I think about what I want. What I really want. I genuinely believe that if I asked to spend the night here, Arsen would allow it.
Maybe that’s why I take a step towards him, seeking out his warmth. “Let’s go home.”
He smiles, those bright green eyes softening under the fading light. And when he takes my hand… I let him.