CHAPTER 49
Noeul sat at his desk, staring at his computer screen without really seeing it.
His thoughts kept drifting between Chung-Hee and Duri.
The incident with Kija had left his interactions with Chung-Hee tense and charged with hostility.
The night with Duri, on the other hand, kept returning to him in flashes: the warmth of his body, his kisses, the strange comfort of waking beside him.
He barely registered someone stopping beside his desk before a familiar voice cut through his thoughts.
“Noeul, may we talk?”
He looked up to see Minho standing there, his expression caught somewhere between uncertainty and hope.
Years had passed since they had truly spoken.
Even now, they rarely exchanged more than what was necessary for work.
The distance between them, born from Haneul’s death and everything that followed, had once felt impossible to bridge.
Noeul sighed, a spark of old pain flickering in his chest. “Of course, Minho. Is there something I can help you with?” he asked, polite but distant.
Minho seemed to notice the coldness but pulled an empty chair closer anyway. He took a deep breath and sat down. “It’s my birthday today. Why don’t I treat you to lunch?” He offered a tentative smile. “I don’t want to eat alone on my birthday.”
“I’m sure plenty of our colleagues, especially the women, would be happy to take my place.” Noeul pretended to type a few lines on his screen. “Ask one of them.”
Minho’s smile faltered. “But they’re not my childhood friends.” He clasped his hands together as if in prayer. “So please, accept.”
“I’m not your childhood friend either,” Noeul said sharply.
Minho fell silent. For a moment, Noeul almost regretted it.
Almost.
Minho exhaled. “It really is my birthday. As a gift, let me buy you lunch.” He hesitated. “Give me the chance to apologize.”
Noeul’s fingers stopped above the keyboard.
Give me the chance to apologize.
Minho wanted something Noeul had wanted desperately himself. A chance.
Noeul could refuse him. He could leave Minho chained to something he had done years ago, the same way Chung-Hee had kept Noeul chained to the past.
But what would that make him?
“All right,” Noeul said at last. Then, deliberately lightening his tone, he added, “But don’t expect to get away with burgers and fries.”
Minho blinked before a wide smile spread across his face. “Sushi, then?”
“Sushi and Daifuku,” Noeul added pointedly.
“Deal. I’ll meet you downstairs at one.”
A small laugh escaped Noeul before he could stop it. For just a moment, Minho looked like the boy he used to know.
His phone rang.
Minho stood. “One o’clock.”
Noeul nodded and answered as Minho walked away. “Liebling… where are you? When did you leave?”
Duri’s soft, sleepy voice sent a shiver down Noeul’s spine. He didn’t know exactly what liebling meant, but he could guess.
And he liked it.
“Some of us work in the mornings, you know,” Noeul teased. He hadn’t wanted to wake Duri before leaving.
“So you spend the night in my bed and disappear before I wake up?” Duri asked. “What am I supposed to think, hyung?”
Noeul smiled. The sound of the shower running came through the phone, and his mind immediately betrayed him. Were the tattoos on Duri’s arms the only ones he had?
He really needed to stop thinking about that.
“Assume I’m a very reliable future partner,” Noeul replied, “who wants to make money and take you out to dinner on your night off.”
Silence.
“Future partner?”
Noeul laughed at the disbelief in his voice. “Aren’t we dating?”
Another brief silence followed. Then Duri chuckled. “You can’t just say things like that and expect me to act normal.”
Noeul smiled.
“But yeah,” Duri added, more quietly. “We’re dating. I was kind of hoping we were.”
Noeul glanced at the time and sighed. “I have to go. It’s going to be a long day.”
Duri hesitated. “Will you be okay with Chung-Hee there?”
The smile faded from Noeul’s face. “I don’t know.” He leaned back in his chair. “I can barely look at him right now. Part of me still wants to help him, but I can’t keep letting him hurt me.”
“Then don’t.”
Noeul was quiet.
“I mean it, hyung. You don’t owe him that.”
“I know.” For once, the words didn’t feel like a lie. “I have you and Ji-Woo. I can’t go back to who I was.”
Duri was silent for a moment. “You won’t.”
Noeul glanced at the time again. “I really have to go.”
“Fine.”
“I’ll come by tonight, if you want.”
Duri laughed softly. “You have no idea how much I want you, baby.”
Heat rushed into Noeul’s face. “Bye, Duri.” He ended the call before Duri could make it worse and stared at his phone for a second, smiling despite himself. Then he returned to work.
As agreed, the two former friends met for lunch. Minho took him to a nearby sushi bar. For the first part of the meal, neither of them said much.
Minho sat across from Noeul, finishing his plate and sipping his iced tea before finally setting the glass down. “Look… I know things between us were bad.” He rubbed his thumb against the condensation on the glass. “I’ve thought a lot about what happened. I just… wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Noeul raised an eyebrow. “Sorry for what, exactly?”
Minho looked down. “For abandoning you when everyone turned against you. For treating Gong’s actions as if they were yours. For believing things about you I should have known weren’t true.”
Noeul didn’t move.
“You hurt me deeply, Minho,” Noeul said at last. “You took their side without listening to me. You accused me of harming Haneul. They didn’t know me, but you did.” His jaw tightened. “You were my childhood friend. You should have known me better.”
Minho nodded.
“You should have been there.”
“I should.”
“And you weren’t.”
Minho lowered his eyes. “No.” His fingers tightened around the glass. “I wasn’t.”
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then Minho drew in a breath. “I can’t undo that. And I don’t expect you to forgive me because I bought you sushi.” A faint, bitter smile crossed his face. “I just wanted you to hear me say it.”
Noeul watched him closely, searching for excuses.
There were none.
“Why now?” he asked. “What changed after all these years?”
Minho hesitated. “I don’t think it was one thing.”
Noeul waited.
“For a long time, it was easier to believe I had done nothing wrong. Haneul was dead. Gong had hurt him. Then Gong died too, and…” Minho shook his head. “Everything became very simple in my head. There were victims and there were people to blame.”
His gaze dropped to the table. “And you were standing beside Gong.”
Noeul’s fingers tightened around his chopsticks. “Yes.”
“I think that was enough for me back then.” Minho paused.
“But years passed. I got older. I learned more about mental illness. I kept remembering things you had said about Gong, things I thought were excuses at the time.” He looked at Noeul again.
“And eventually I started wondering whether I had ever actually listened to you.”
Noeul said nothing.
“I still don’t understand everything Gong went through,” Minho continued. “And I won’t pretend what he did to Haneul was okay.”
“It wasn’t.”
The answer left Noeul immediately.
Minho’s expression shifted.
Noeul looked down at his plate. “It wasn’t okay,” he repeated, quieter this time. “He was sick. He was scared. But he still hurt him.”
For a few seconds, Minho only stared at him. Then he nodded.
Noeul swallowed. The words felt strange coming out so easily now. A year ago, he might have heard them as a betrayal of Gong.
Now they were simply true.
Minho leaned forward slightly. “You were trying to protect him, weren’t you?”
Noeul looked up.
“Because you knew how ill he was.”
His eyes burned. For years, people had looked at his loyalty to Gong and seen guilt. Complicity. Proof that Noeul was somehow like him.
Minho was looking at the same thing now and seeing something else.
“You took on things that weren’t yours,” Minho said quietly. “I can see that now.”
Noeul focused on breathing. Minho didn’t push.
“It will take time,” Noeul said eventually. “I don’t know if we can go back to what we were.”
“I know.”
“But…” Noeul hesitated. “I hear your apology.”
Minho’s shoulders eased. “That’s more than I expected.”
Noeul looked at him for a moment. “Thank you for saying it.”
Minho gave a small, tentative smile. “If you ever want to talk, I’ll listen this time.”
Noeul almost smiled. “Oh, so now you listen?”
“I deserved that.”
A quiet laugh escaped Noeul before he could stop it. Minho’s smile grew.
“What do you say we grab a drink after work? Like old times?”
Noeul considered him. Not like old times. They weren’t those people anymore. But maybe that didn’t mean there was nothing left.
“Yeah,” he said. “But not coffee. Let’s go to the bar where Duri works. You remember him. Ji-Woo’s best friend.”
“Of course.” Minho picked up his glass. “Drinks are on me.”
“They better be. It’s still your birthday.”
Minho laughed.
After work, Noeul and Minho headed to The Neon Peacock. The dim lighting and low murmur of conversation wrapped around them, familiar enough to calm something inside him. Noeul took his usual seat at the bar, Minho beside him.
Duri noticed immediately. “Long day, hyung?” he asked, setting a beer in front of Noeul. His eyes lingered on him a second longer than necessary.
“You could say that.” Noeul took a sip. “But not all of it was bad.”
Duri raised an eyebrow, but before he could ask, Minho spoke. “I’ll have a bottle of soju and whatever he’s drinking.” He hesitated. “It’s my birthday. Noeul kept me company today.”
Duri’s gaze moved briefly between them. “Happy birthday, Minho hyung.”
“Thank you.”
Duri fetched his drink, polite but noticeably less warm with Minho than he was with the other customers. Minho and Noeul talked about work, occasionally slipping into stories from years ago. Duri remained busy behind the bar, but Noeul caught him listening more than once.
Eventually, Noeul excused himself to use the restroom. The silence he left behind felt different.
Duri wiped down the counter without looking at Minho.
When Noeul returned, Duri was still looking toward the door.
“Where’s Minho?”
“He left.”
Noeul frowned. “Already?”
“Said today was enough.”
Noeul looked toward the windows. Minho had already disappeared into the falling snow.
He sat again. Duri placed another beer in front of him.
“So,” he said. “What made today not entirely terrible?”
Noeul looked at him. “You.”
Duri blinked.
Noeul smiled into his drink. “And Minho apologized.”
“Did you forgive him?”
“No.”
Duri nodded as though that were perfectly acceptable.
“But I listened.”
“That sounds more like you.”
Noeul glanced at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re annoyingly kind.”
“I’m not kind.”
“Sure.”
Noeul kicked lightly at his shin beneath the bar. Duri laughed.