Chapter 34
Wes
Things shifted with Bailey after that night. Everything between us had been gradually changing between us. But that night was the turning point. Since then we’ve fallen into a kind of routine. Bruno and Sadie play and we end up in bed together, but never for the entire night.
Neither of us push to spend the night. It’s like we both know that would officially change everything.
And I’m still worried about what would happen if I were to share a bed with another person.
Not only am I concerned about my ability to fall asleep, but what may happen once I do.
If I hurt her I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.
Bailey never seems to mind because she likes her space. I think the semblance of distance makes her feel safe, which is fine by me because I never feel fully safe, even on my best days.
My time is mostly spent volunteering at the animal shelter, and I still don’t have an update on Bruno.
Bailey’s been trying to convince me to make it official and adopt him, but something keeps holding me back.
I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t take the final step past fostering him to making him mine.
I also continue helping Jameson at his property, and that’s how I end up fully roped into Thanksgiving dinner at his house that Sutton has officially begun calling a “friendsgiving.” The name alone made me not want to come.
Sutton also convinced Bailey to attend. While she put up an argument about us riding together, she finally gave in on one condition. We take her car so she’s not squished with Bruno and Sadie.
To which I conceded on my own condition—that I drive.
“Fine,” she huffs, tossing me her keys. She’s wearing a dark red sweater dress that hangs above her knees. My mind immediately dove straight into thoughts of pushing it up and burying my face between her thighs, making her my meal for Thanksgiving instead of going to this dinner.
We get in the car and I have to adjust her seat all the way back because she may be tall, she’s not as tall as me. The look she gives me is more of a glare while I adjust everything.
“Now I’m going to have to fix all of that back to how I like it,” she grumbles.
I shrug.
“You could’ve just let me drive, it’s not like it’s far.”
“I prefer to drive.” I prefer to be in control. I don’t tell her the full truth—that I don’t like other people driving me at all because I feel like they’ll crash. It’s not that I don’t trust her specifically, I just don’t trust anyone.
“Yeah, yeah,” she grumbles.
“Watch the attitude or you know what will happen,” I threaten and don’t miss the shiver that runs down her spine.
Yeah, I’ve always had a sense of what she likes but ever since whatever this is between us began, I’ve gotten to know her on a whole different level.
What she craves, which lately has been anything to do with me.
I’ve never experienced a connection like this before.
It’s addicting and comes with its own set of fears.
The last time I relied on something so heavily was my job, and that was ripped away from me. Even before that I rarely got close to anyone, never dated seriously or made any big commitments. The biggest and only one I ever made was to the Army.
“I think your threats have an opposite effect on me now,” she taunts.
“Well, I think it just proves that you’ll never learn.”
“It’s been thirty-one years for me; I’m already set in my ways.”
“Good thing I like your ways.” The words slip out without me thinking about it. This has been happening more and more with her. I’m so out of my mind when she’s with me that my filter is nonexistent.
Just another thing that makes me worry about what’s going on between us. I know she feels the same. It helps to not have the pressure knowing she’s not going to hound me for a relationship that’s sure to send me far away.
We get to the main house on Jameson’s family property and Bailey tenses up next to me as I park. “I’ll go in first, then you can come in a few minutes later.”
I raise an eyebrow at her. “Why can’t we walk in together?”
“Because that leads to questions that neither of us wants to answer.”
“Or we’re neighbors who carpooled,” I tell her seriously and she seems to realize that is a completely valid explanation.
“Fine, but as far as everyone knows we still can’t stand each other.”
“Whatever you say, Angel.”
We get out of the car and walk to the door, close but not touching. Even though I’m tempted knowing I shouldn’t.
I knock on the door, and am greeted by Jameson, right before Sutton ducks under his arm and smiles. “Welcome!”
“Come on in.” Jameson opens the door wider for us to enter.
The house smells delicious and it brings back distant memories of my childhood, the only time I ever had a real Thanksgiving. The myriad of scents wafting through the house makes my stomach growl.
“So nice of you to join us,” Emily greets from the kitchen as we enter the large combined kitchen and dining area.
“Thank you for having me,” I tell her honestly. She opens up the oven and I see the large pan with a turkey in it. “Do you need help?”
“If you wouldn’t mind.” She steps aside, giving me the oven mitts.
“Oh, you let someone else help you, but when I offer, you tell me to go away,” Jameson says from across the room.
“That’s different. You coddle me,” Emily retorts.
“I care.”
“I know you do.” Emily lowers her voice so only I can hear. “Sometimes too much.”
The smallest smile peeks out as I lean down to lift out the large cooked bird and place it on top of the stove. Emily checks the temperature before announcing it’s done.
Another loud voice announces their presence, and I turn around seeing it’s a little blonde woman that’s here often. I think her name is Lily. When I look closer, I believe this is the same woman whose car Bailey asked me to look at before Jameson and Sutton’s rehearsal.
“Gross. I didn’t realize you let just anyone come,” she says when she sees Jameson’s coworker, Parker.
“Come give me a hug, Lil, I know how much you’ve missed me.” Parker stretches out his arms toward her and she makes a face, displaying her extreme disgust at the idea.
“I have a boyfriend, don’t touch me.”
Parker narrows his eyes at her. “You’re still dating that asshole?”
“He’s nice, and doesn’t fuck anything that walks so he’s already leagues better than you.”
“I don’t fuck anything that walks,” Parker grumbles.
“Who’s ready to eat?” Jameson announces, putting an end to their bickering for now.
“What’s their deal?” I whisper to Bailey as everyone gathers around the already set table.
“I don’t know the whole story, but they used to date. She went to college and now has a boyfriend.” She shrugs.
I hum, not wanting to get in the middle of any sort of these twenty somethings’ drama, but the way I’ve seen them bicker leaves me curious. Especially considering I’m about to sit through a whole Thanksgiving dinner with them.
Sorry, friendsgiving dinner.
Bailey attempts to sit in a chair somewhere away from me, but I don’t let her, making sure to grab the seat directly next to her.
She stares daggers at me, but once we’re sitting down I lean over to whisper in her ear.
“Remember what happened when we were here for Jameson and Sutton’s wedding. Keep it up if you want a repeat.”
She sucks in a sharp breath and I sit up straight.
“Thank you all for coming,” Emily says sweetly. “Thank you Jameson and Sutton for organizing this and inviting you all here. You don’t know what this means to me.”
“To Mrs. Turner,” Parker announces raising his glass, and the rest of us do the same in a cheers motion.
The table is full and as everyone starts to load up their plates, the noise level increases from the conversations.
Looking around, I watch how Jameson and Sutton sit so close they’re touching, and keep saying things to one another with smiles.
Parker is sitting across from Lily who’s sitting next to her mom.
Some of Jameson’s other coworkers are here, Dave and a woman I don’t know.
There’s also another woman next to Lily’s mom and they look so similar I’m assuming they’re sisters or related somehow.
There’s so many conversations going on at once, I couldn’t keep up even if I wanted to.
The noise is borderline too much for me, and I do my best to tune it all out, focusing on the food instead.
I eat a little bit of everything, and it’s delicious.
But it’s so loud I don’t think Emily would hear me even if I said something to her about it.
I look around for Bruno and see him laying against a wall in the living room, he seems to look about the same as I feel. The other three dogs are around the table near their respective owners probably hoping for some food scraps to hit the floor.
I feel the pressure of a hand slide onto my thigh, and my eyes swing over to Bailey who has a concerned look on her face.
“Are you okay?” she asks gently.
Clearing my throat, I nod. “Fine.”
I look away, and down to my plate that’s now empty, but I scrape my fork around like I’m collecting more food on it.
I can feel Bailey’s eyes on me like she doesn’t believe me.
Maybe that’s why her hand remains on my thigh.
Surprisingly, the heat of it is enough to help bring my heart rate down the smallest bit.
After dinner we all help clean up before dessert. I don’t opt for any pie, but Emily gives me a playful glare and tells me that not having pie on Thanksgiving is a crime.
“You’re offending the host.” Bailey nudges me when she overhears the scolding I get.
“I’ll make it up to her by helping with the dishes.”
“If she lets you.”
“She will, I’m clearly her favorite.”
Bailey scoffs, shaking her head.
The rest of the evening goes by smoothly, other than the constant bickering between Lily and Parker, who single handedly became the entertainment. We don’t need TV or music when those two are around because they’re their own reality show.
I’m not going to pressure Bailey to leave before she’s ready because I’m not going to rush her time with her friends. Though, as I watch her, she doesn’t talk much either. Both of us remain mostly quiet, observing those around us more than participating in any conversations.
Which is why I’m not entirely surprised when shortly after dessert, when Emily did in fact shoot me down about helping her with the dishes, Bailey says she’s ready to go.
We say goodbye to everyone; I notice she hangs back with Sutton and Lily for a few moments longer, and I head to the car with the dogs to wait for her.
Sadie lays down on the backseat while Bruno lays on the floor in the back. I glance back at them. “Good job, giving the lady the seat.”
The passenger door opens and Bailey climbs in. We don’t say anything as I drive us back to our neighborhood.
“Are you okay?” she asks after a couple silent minutes.
“Yeah.”
“You sure? Because you seemed pretty tense.”
I’m always tense. I almost say it, but decide against it at the last minute.
“I don’t like crowds either.” Bailey says quietly. “It reminds me of growing up in our tiny trailer with all seven of us. It was never quiet, and if it was, the silence just meant something even worse was coming.”
I glance over at her, but see she’s not looking at me, instead her gaze is fixed out the window.
“Sounds similar to a war zone,” I grunt because I completely relate to what she’s saying. It’s never quiet, and if it is that’s usually a bad sign.
That’s why the sky was where I preferred to be. It wasn’t as loud. Until it was.
“Yeah, I’d say my childhood was a bit of a war zone.”
I’m not going to pry, the fact that she’s sharing this much is surprising in itself. I just wait to see if she’ll say anything else. She doesn’t by the time I’m pulling up to our houses, and park in her driveway.
She looks over at me. “Thanks for driving, but I’ll take my keys back now.”
The heaviness from the moments before feels like it’s pushed back, and that’s fine by me. I hand her keys over, letting my hand rest on hers as I do it. She tries to hide her shocked gasp, but pulls her hand back quickly.
“Thanks again,” she mumbles, getting out of the car and opening the back for the dogs.
I don’t bother trying to come in. I know I could and she would let me, but I feel like if I did things would shift even more. I may even end up staying the night, or wanting to. And that’s a step I don’t know if either of us want to take right now.
Instead, I step up to her, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Goodnight,” I say softly before pressing a featherlight kiss to her lips.
“Goodnight,” she whispers against mine.
Even as I walk the short distance back to my house, I fight the urge to look back over my shoulder. I know if I get another glimpse, I’ll end up going over there. That’s why I don’t even glance at her window before I climb into bed.