25. Real talk
Chapter 25
Real talk
Ariana
I ’m so embarrassed about last night that I can’t look Luca in the eye. I mean, I had a panic attack and stopped breathing, and then threw up on him. And he took care of me.
Because apparently, I didn’t like him enough before, freaking last night had to happen. So naturally, I’m avoiding being alone with him as much as possible.
The three of us are hanging out in our living room after dinner. I can tell he’s frustrated that we haven’t had a chance to talk. I’m trying to read, but I’m not getting anywhere because I glance at Luca’s back every fifteen seconds while he plays another video game. Or the same video game. I have no idea, honestly.
After a few hours, Lil yawns and stretches as she gets to her feet. “Okay, I’m tired as fuck. Shower and bed for me.” She throws her blanket over my head and closes the bedroom door behind her. I debate hiding under the blanket until Luca goes to bed, but that lasts about forty seconds before I get claustrophobic and too fucking warm. I drag it off of my head and immediately see Luca staring at me. Shit .
He drags himself up off the bean bag chair as gracefully as a 6’7” tank can, which is not at all, and sits a few feet away from me on the couch. I focus on my hands and pick at my nail polish. My hair falls over my face, and he brushes some behind my ear.
“Are you okay?” His voice is barely more than a whisper.
“Yeah.” Mine is definitely a whisper.
“Then why won’t you look at me?”
I sigh. “I’m embarrassed. I don’t embarrass easily, but last night, that was some embarrassing shit.”
This time, his hand goes under my chin and gently raises it so I have no choice but to look at him. God, those blue eyes. They’re filled with concern, and I feel like a dick for putting it there. “Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“I mean it,” he continues when I scoff. “I don’t know the details, Ari, but I do know you’ve been through some shit. The kind of shit that leaves emotional damage behind. You’re fucking amazing, the way you’re so strong and bright most of the time. Don’t be embarrassed by those moments when the shit drags you down. They don’t mean you’re weak. They mean you’re human.”
“I hate those moments, Luca. I hate letting them get to me, letting the past take over the present. I hate letting them win.”
“You might never be able to keep those moments from happening from time to time, Ari.” His hand moves to cup my cheek, and I lean into the touch. “But you have people here who want to help you fight those demons.”
“What about your demons? Are you going to let us help you fight yours?”
“I’m trying. I’m not used to people wanting to help.”
“No one?”
He shakes his head. “Nah. I had a few friends, but no one I felt like keeping in contact with. My parents… I don’t know. My dad and I used to be close, but he’s been distant for years. My mom, I think she honestly hates me. Or just hates being a mom. ”
I know what it’s like to have shitty parents. Really shitty parents. “Well, we’re all here if you’ll let us help. And we’re pretty good at fighting the bad shit, especially together. It’s kind of a house-wide love language.” I tilt my head as a thought comes to me. “What’s your love language, Luca?”
After a few seconds of having an adorably confused look on his face, he says, “I don’t really know.”
“Then I guess we’ll just have to help you figure it out.”
He leans in but stops so our noses are almost touching. “Can I kiss you? I should have asked before.”
“Yes. And permission to kiss without asking again granted, too.”
His lips turn up into a little smile before they meet mine. His kiss is gentle this time. And it’s sweet as hell but I don’t want sweet. So I kiss him back like I don’t have a lip that’s taking forever to heal. I kiss him like I’m taking that first breath after not being able to breathe. He moans, and I slip my tongue into his mouth. He meets it with his and we lose ourselves in the kiss. When he pulls away to catch his breath, I tug on his lower lip with my teeth. He lets loose something like a growl, and his lips are back on mine. I think maybe he likes a little bite of pain with his pleasure. I’m here for it. We kiss each other like we’re air, like we’re food, like we’re the essence of fucking life.
But then the bedroom door opens down the hall, and Luca jumps away from me like he’s on fire. Which maybe he is because I can see the outline of his erection in his sweats.
“Shit. Fuck.” He stands and adjusts his dick before Lil walks in, then tosses the bean bag in the corner and storms to his room with a grumbled, “Night.”
All without looking at me once.
The man is infuriating. And hot.
“What’s his problem?” Lil asks, glancing down the hall.
“If only I knew,” I say, shaking my head .
Lil turns my way and narrows her eyes. “Is your lip bugging you? It looks swollen. Actually, they both look swollen…”
“Nope.” I jump to my feet and hurry away. “Shower time for me.”