6. Javi
“Idon’t appreciate the summons.” Hollis practically spits the words at me from his spot in my office doorway.
Snorting, I shake my head and send a quick text before standing slowly, calmly, letting the predator that resides in me flow out.
His eyes widen in shock, and then I ruthlessly stuff the monster back in the box, drawing on my easy going, slightly crazy persona.
The one that’s safe for the public. But fuck if I’m going to let Hollis come to my office and take a swing at me.
Still, I can’t bring myself to pull out the cocky grin, not when we have things to discuss.
Instead, I gesture for him to enter my lair and to take a fucking seat.
I fight back the nausea that desperately claws at my throat, the reminders of the time I was the prey…
Fuck. It’s a testament to how much I’ve come to accept these fuckers for me to face my past. Some of them have even graduated beyond just random test subjects—not all, but some.
Hollis stares at me warily as he sits down.
With a sigh, I take my own seat across from him.
Trying to cover the nerves, I purse my lips and study the man in front of me, hoping Lio’s assessment that Hollis is trustworthy is correct.
I fold my hands, mainly to stop myself from grabbing my knife and cuddling it like the comfort item that it is to me.
Clearing my throat, I finally say, “I don’t like issuing summons either, but in this case, I needed you somewhere where audio isn't recorded. And I trust that is still true?”
“I gave you my word,” Hollis replies slowly, his eyes narrowing as he studies me. Good luck making sense of me…
“Very well. Then I’d like to tell you a story before we get to why you’re here. I’ll ask that you hold any questions until afterward.” I take a deep breath before uttering a word I rarely use. “Please.”
“Alright. I’ll listen.” Hollis’s brow furrows, and I struggle against my responsibilities to these people and the instinctive need to protect myself. Fuck. I’d better go hunting after this…
“My story… There’s a reason that no matter how hard you and Leandro tried, you couldn't find anything about me before college. Before I became…Javi, essentially.”
I swallow the bile that creeps up before I utter a name I never thought would pass my lips again.
“Abel was the name I was given. And it was certainly not paired with Graves. Of course, even if you searched for my birth name, it wouldn’t come up. The joy of being born into a fundamentalist cult who don’t believe in fun things like modern medicine or pesky government forms…”
Hollis stays quiet, but his steady presence is enough to keep me from going back there. A reminder that I’ve come this far. Shaking my head, I push onward, a twisted, grotesque smile stretching across my face.
“Things they did believe in though…demonic possession for a child who wasn’t quite normal, and exorcisms. And, of course, we’re not talking about exorcists who were in any way qualified, if that even exists.
No, we’re talking about things like beatings…
and worse. Men who preyed on the innocent, and stole what wasn’t theirs to take…
” I cough, forcing myself to breathe through the pain that tries to pull me downward.
“I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. ”
“I do,” Hollis says softly, and I straighten, sneering as I can’t abide pity.
“Anyway, I survived. Even when the Prophet said the exorcisms weren’t working, and that they may as well lock me up and throw away the key.
But…I was lucky. I had a cousin who, despite them trying to convince her I didn’t exist, didn’t give up.
And…eventually, that little girl I remembered came for me, a blood-spattered avenging angel.
One I thought was there to kill me, but instead, she rescued me.
“Fuck. It took years to integrate me into society, and she gives me a level of acceptance that, frankly, I’m surprised anyone ever could. But that’s my point. I had her. She never gave up on me. Just like I know you had people after your ordeal—and eventually, you found your place here.”
Hollis’s face changes quickly, pity disappearing behind caution. His own menacing personality comes to the front as, in a low, dangerous voice, he asks, “Your point?”
“My point is…who does Sandro have? I mean, hell, it’s only recently I was finally kissed—thanks to Jude—and I immediately messaged Ely, even if the kiss did earn me a knife wound.
” I wink at him, drawing the cloak of cockiness back over me, before turning serious again.
“But Sandro…hell, if his father was still alive, well, he wouldn’t be for long.
I’d gladly take care of that situation. What Sandro went through…
there’s no comparing traumas, but the three of us?
Yeah. We’ve all been there. We belong to a certain club that nobody asked to join and, for sure, nobody wants to live through. ”
“He had Luca. And his Boys. And the most precious gift—Lio,” Hollis says stiffly, but I shake my head.
“Sandro’s father made sure to ruin his bond with Luca. His Boys? Sure, they had loyalty. Maybe even some love. But as you Amatos have pointed out—repeatedly—it wasn’t healthy.
“And yes, he had Lio…until he once again faced a significant trauma that plunged him so deeply into PTSD that he burned his world down, reacting like a wounded animal thrashing in a trap because fear is all it knows.”
Hollis scowls, his body tense. I know I’m not getting through to him. Yanking my fingers through my hair, I’m not sure how to do it, but I desperately need him to get with the program.
“Look, I’m not telling you to be best friends with the guy, but we have a situation. Allesandro has broken himself into pieces. Torn himself apart, into what’s ‘acceptable’ and what’s not. Sandro is safe. He bakes. And before you say that proves he had somebody, let me stop you.
“His aunt gave him some good memories. His uncle was involved—partially. But his uncle also married the aunt in the hopes he could be part of the Family, and it didn’t quite work out the way he wanted.
His aunt had significant trauma from her childhood.
All of this means, nobody was truly there for him—until Lio.
“I truly believe he loves Lio, because why else would he get up every. Single. Day. and face such a horrid existence? Rattling along in this house, where people side-eye him, where he’s an outcast, and has lost everything.
“You’ve spent the entire time helping Lio see that it wasn’t a healthy relationship.
And yet, Lio, when faced with everything, would rather choose death than live without his Master.
So, tell me, is it worth having broken pieces of a man like Allesandro?
Or do you want to see that man actually find himself?
Because I’m telling you now, if he doesn’t, you may as well kill him, because he’s in the process of killing himself. ”
“Why is it my problem?” Hollis slams his hands down on the desk, anger burning in his eyes. I know he’s seeing the past…his past, though. And that’s just not good enough.
Growling, I bite back words that won’t help.
Instead, I try to find the ones that will.
“You are the head of your poly unit, correct? You made a big deal about the men in your unit belonging to you, and that whoever they are with also belongs to you. Lio and Tennant have claimed Allesandro. Antonio has forgiven him as well. Even though there’s no sexual component there anymore, he’s within the orbit.
Yet, you refuse to face the man. To give him parameters.
To show him any acceptance. What do you think he’ll do without it? With being spurned time after time?”
Hollis flinches with each word, and I wish I could make it better, but I can’t. He has to face the truth or he’ll be doomed to lose it all. Because, frankly, those around him can’t live with Allesandro in pieces… That way only leads to insanity. And those who will suffer are the men Hollis loves.
“It’s not my job to make things easier on him.” Hollis’s voice holds an air of finality, and I clench my teeth, trying to hold back the venom that wants to flow out. Only when I’m calmer—slightly—do I address him again.
“You know…you’re Lio’s Owner, right? That’s quite the distinction.
His Angel, his Owner.” I scoff at the man in front of me.
“I won’t pretend to know about BDSM. I know what Ian teaches me, and what’s in my heart.
But the ins and outs? Nah, I’m not there.
That’s why I brought someone in. Because you insist you want to do things the right way.
To teach Lio about proper, healthy relationships. Yet, what are you truly doing?
“You’re putting him in the middle of an impossible situation.
One where he’s torn between his loyalty and love for you, and what he feels for his Master.
Hell, at least Sandro accepted you when he came back.
He accepted Lio’s feelings for you, and sure, you make lip service about it, but you don’t accept him.
And Lio can tell. Lio feels it, so you’re deliberately hurting your submissive.
And what? You want me to look at you and say you’re better than Sandro? ”
A gasp escapes Hollis as he presses his hand against his heart. I can almost see the wall of ice around him cracking, but it’s not there yet. It’s not shattered, and him shattering is the only way he’s going to move on—so they can all move on and come out stronger, together.
“Sandro gets up every day and fights. He comes to sessions. He actively engages with therapy. He’s made more than enough overtures to everyone.
But he won’t forgive himself, and that’s because the man who holds his heart—because you hold Lio’s—can’t even spare him a glance.
Do you like seeing his pain? Does it make you feel better to tear him down?
“Because all I see is him doing everything, and you…you do nothing but hide in your office. Summons. Give me a break. It’s the only way I can get you anywhere.
Life is messy, it’s tough. You either face it head on or you hide.
But, I’m telling you now, if you continue to hide?
To ‘protect’ yourself and your status quo?
Get ready to bury Allesandro, and then, you'll have to bury Lio.
And then we'll see what happens when you have to look in the mirror…”
“That’s…that’s…” Hollis shakes his head frantically, his entire body vibrating as he goes pale. His eyes are drenched in the pain that I’m drawing out, like poison that needs to be purged, whether he wants it or not.
Taking a deep breath, I finish with the only truth I can give.
The one that will showcase just how wrong Hollis is on this.
“You know I have rules about who I’ll kill.
Ethics…of a sort. Let me tell you this now.
Allesandro? He wouldn’t be on the list. But you?
Well, keep hurting the man who put his entire being in your hands, and find out what happens… ”
Hollis stands abruptly, refusing to look at me or even say anything.
Instead, he rushes out of the room, and my heart…
the one I try not to think about…suddenly lurches with an unfamiliar sensation.
I know who's waiting on the other side of the door, and I can only hope he helps Hollis start to heal, to understand.
Because Sandro and Hollis both deserve it—and so do those around them.