11. Tennant
Knocking on Ian’s door, I impatiently wait for him to shout, “Come in.” This being polite thing is such bullshit. It's so much easier when I can pretend social norms don’t exist and just walk in without waiting.
Pushing the door open when Ian gives me permission, I sweep my gaze over the room, approving of the simple but masculine touch.
The walls are a light-gray, though the one behind his desk is darker.
There’s a rug matching the accent wall on the floor in front of a black loveseat, a comfortable-looking armchair beside it, and another on the other side of the coffee table.
The coffee table has a black frame with a white-and-gray marbled top, with a matching side table beside the armchair.
There are also pillows…so many fucking throw pillows, in varying shades of gray, black, and white.
The dark wooden bookshelves are about half full, both books and tchotchkes dotting the shelves along with the odd picture frame, though only one seems to have an actual photograph. The others have crayon drawings.
The least surprising thing about the room is the artwork on the walls. Whoever did them had a great eye, not only for color, but also for style and class. After all, not many can capture a sexual pose in such an understated yet powerful way.
I wonder if Beha has ever done anything like that. I’m almost tempted to reach out to Sinclair and see if his associate is up for a challenge. After all, Doc loves her paintings, and he deserves a gift after everything he’s done for my lovers.
“I see you’ve made your mark.”
“Yes, we’ve had fun decorating.” Ian says we so easily, effortlessly, with a smile on his lips as he thinks of his men.
There’s a part of me that misses that…cohesiveness from when it was just Roman, Hollis, Jude, and me. Everything has been flipped upside down, but at the same time, I wouldn’t go back to not having Benjamin, Lio…or Allesandro. Even if the latter is something I’m still figuring out.
“I didn’t ask you here to discuss what my men and I have gotten up to, though,” he says. “Please, take a seat wherever you feel most comfortable.”
I don’t bother with the seating area, dropping into the chair in front of his desk. “What can I do for you?”
Ian huffs, leaning back in his chair to study me. “You’ve been busy, I see,” he comments, gesturing to his own face.
I shrug. “Part and parcel of being one of the Head Trainers, and Head of Security. You should have seen the other guy.”
Ian chuckles. “I’m sure I can guess the state he’s in. Though, from what I hear, your men…have some work to do. Protection was one of the things we were promised when we took this job. And yet someone got onto your property and killed your men?”
I scowl. “It won’t happen again. I can assure you, your bodyguards know what the punishment for failure is, and it’ll make death look like a picnic. You can trust your Boy with us.”
“See it done, or you’ll discover that Atticus and Javi aren’t the only ones capable of holding their own.
” There’s the promise of chaos in Ian’s obsidian eyes, and I can respect that.
I’d do much the same in his position. “Now, to the task at hand. Before I dive in, I have to ask if you know what sex therapy is?”
“I’ll admit I’ve had more pressing things to research than your practice.”
“That’s fine.” He smiles, a genuine expression that makes it clear he’s closer to Hol’s age than my own.
“It’s a fairly broad form of therapy, encompassing everything from helping those with sexual dysfunction to those with trauma.
As well as addressing the issues society places on sex and how…
limiting and narrow-minded the world at large can be when viewing something that’s both natural and beautiful.
“There are a lot of mental and emotional roadblocks someone can have due to a variety of things that have either happened to them directly or because of how things are ‘expected’ to be. It can put undue pressure on people when it comes to sex, or anything related to intimacy.
“It’s what I’m here for; to help clear the roadblocks, get people to accept themselves, and maybe find unconventional means to achieve their end goal—depending on what they’re hoping to gain from therapy.”
“I’m sure being part of the BDSM and kink community helps with that,” I say lightly.
He nods. “It does. I’ve been Anderson’s Daddy for years now, and part of the kink community for even longer. My reputation and position has always been good, because I’m willing to listen to those wiser than I am.” There’s something heavy in his gaze, and I sit straighter.
Ian watches me, studying me as intently as I am him.
“Anderson asked me for a favor, and he’s someone I always listen to because he usually isn’t wrong—at least, when it comes to his patients.
Now, he can’t share details because we all take confidentiality seriously, but he was asked by your Boy to talk to me.
So he did, and I listened and agreed to address this with you. ”
“Is Lio okay?”
Ian leans forward, placing his arms on the desk. “Yes, he’s fine. Don’t worry. As I said, I don’t have any details, but my Boy didn’t seem concerned, mostly happy he’d found a way to further help Lio. He likes your Boy, thinks he’s sweet and squishable.”
I snort, but can’t fault Anderson for his assessment. “Fine, what’s so important that Emilio felt he couldn’t come to me directly?”
Ian glares, his eyes flaring with warning. “Don’t do that, it’s not like that. Sometimes, Boys like Lio…they need someone to hold their hand and help them with these things. It’s why they have Daddies, after all.”
“And what does that mean?”
“How much research have you done into Daddy/Boy relationships? Since you now seem to have found yourself in two very different ones, I want to assume you’ve at least tried to do your due diligence. Or have you been winging it?”
“At first, with Emilio, I was ‘winging it', doing what felt right for both of us. But I have done some research, because I’ve noticed…” I pause, reframing my thoughts, trying to get the wording correct. “Emilio has a tendency to regress sometimes, mostly when he’s extremely happy, I’ve noticed, but there are other times as well.
Like when he first…tried to commit suicide, and I was finally allowed to see him.
He was… I’m not sure how to explain it. He was my Little Monster, but…
softer, younger, more vulnerable in a way, and it wasn’t simply because he was recovering. At least, I don’t think so.”
Ian nods slowly, some of his messy caramel hair falling across his forehead as he does. “Yes, I believe your assessment is correct. I’ve only seen Lio a few times, but I’ve noticed he’s been regressing more over the last week or so.”
“Is it something to be concerned about? What I’ve read…”
Ian rolls his eyes. “While there are some idiots who still believe regression is a ‘problem’ and can hold someone back from facing their hardships, I don’t subscribe to that. Hell, none of us mental health professionals you’ve collected do.
“No, regression in the way Lio, and even Anderson, experience it is perfectly normal and natural for their type of Boy.” He pauses, giving me time to digest his words. “Do you know what age play is?”
I shift in my seat. “Yes, that was part of the rabbit hole I went down, and how I first learned about regression.”
“Good. Anderson and I have an age play dynamic. He is always my and Reid’s Lovebug, our sweet, sassy, and soft-hearted love, but he is also my Little Love.
Still sweet, still sassy, but also an adorable Little that wants to love, be loved, color, play with his stuffies, and enjoys when Daddy gives him fun spankings…
and not fun spankings, but he won’t admit that because, as I said, he’s sweet.
“Anderson believes Lio is also a Little. As I said, I’ve noticed he regresses in his everyday life, and if that’s what helps him destress while trying to put himself back together, that’s fine.
But what about the rest of the time? What about when he’s further along in therapy and he needs more?
As his Daddy, that’s something you can help with.
Regression doesn’t need the dynamic in order for people to benefit from it, but for a Little like Anderson, and possibly Lio, having a Caregiver helps keep that safe, warm, and loved feeling going even after the scene, play session, or moment—whatever you engage in—is over.
It helps fulfill the need they have, gives them an outlet where they don't have to think; they simply need to trust their Caregiver to, well…care for them.”
I mull his words over, choosing my own carefully.
“I’m not sure how much you know about the Martellis and their past with Il Padrone, but…
I know Lio and Allesandro had a nursery, one that they spent some time in.
I’m not sure how much because, well, Hollis and I are working on not being so angry with Allesandro.
We’re taking it slow when it comes to the past.”
“That’s something you’ll have to talk to both your Boys about.
See how they feel. I can tell you that Anderson loves his nursery, and it’s probably the one thing I wish I could give him now that I can’t.
It’s a safe place for both Caregiver and Little.
Not just to play, but when you step into it, you know you’re safe, loved, and can just let the world behind the door go for a while. ”
“I’ll admit the nursery is…appealing. As well as a few other things I’ve read about.”
Ian smirks. “Mmm, that’s good to hear. I am happy to answer any questions you have.”
“I appreciate that, thank you. And… I appreciate your insight today into Emilio. I had a feeling it was something along those lines, based on what I knew from his history, what he’s shown me, and what I’ve been reading.
Though…it was obvious he was regressing pretty hard when he met fucking Atticus and Fury. ”