11. Tennant #2
Ian rolls his eyes. “That damn bunny. I had to give my Boy something to do with his mouth in order to avoid playing twenty questions about another man’s fucking pet last night.”
I laugh. “Sounds about right.” Part of me is glad only Roman had to deal with Lio’s…excitement over the bunny in her harness and leash, but the Daddy in me wishes I could've heard all his excited chattering.
“Can I ask…what you think of Sandro? What type of Boy he might be? What he needs from me?”
Ian purses his lips. “We haven’t had enough sessions for me to determine that, and even if we have, I would need his permission before sharing it with you. Even for a Daddy, I cannot break my confidentiality rules.”
I incline my head. “I understand. I won’t ask again, but…can you reassure him? Next time you see him, if you could just…make it clear that I’m here as his Daddy, in whatever capacity he needs.”
“I can do that, yes. You understand he might not be Little? Or if he is, he could be very different from Lio?”
“Yes, of course. Already, what they need from me is so different. Yes, they both love Daddy Cuddles—as Lio calls them—but…Sandro needs something softer, sweeter than Lio, to be cared for in a…gentler way. Though, I’m sure anyone will tell you they’re surprised by how gentle I am with Lio, it’s…
different, it feels different with Sandro. ”
“I imagine so. They’re two very different people. But then, you have enough lovers you understand that while the love you have might be the same for them, unquantifiable, the way it makes you feel and how you express it is unique to each person.”
“Yes,” I agree.
Ian sits back in his chair again. “I’ll help both you and Sandro discover what type of Boy he is, and determine what you both want out of your relationship. I’ll do the same for you and Lio, of course. Especially if you’re going to implement age play into your dynamic.”
“I don’t like therapy, or therapists.” I try not to curl my lip. “My past history is…messy. But…I do appreciate the help. It’s refreshing that this is different.”
Ian laughs. “Yeah, non-traditional is my thing. You only have to look at my relationships to see that. Don’t worry, this is a non-judgmental zone, and I’m here simply to make sure you’re all comfortable, happy, and getting what you need in terms of both sex and intimacy.”
I smirk and lift a brow. “And to make sure no one is abusing their power.”
That thread of danger flashes in his eyes again. “Yes, that too.”
“Where would you recommend starting with age play? I want to try to help Lio destress without him having to regress alone. He’s done enough of his healing alone. I want to back up my promise to be there for him with actions.”
Ian shrugs. “There are a lot of things you can bring to the table. Anderson loves coloring. Hell, he’s suckered both me and Reid into coloring with him before, and Reid doesn’t have a Daddy or Little bone in his body.
But it’s…something so simple, yet relaxing at the same time, and it can tell you a lot about his mindset with how he colors.
Not just the…age range he regresses to, but if he’s happy, mad, sad, etc.
It’ll show up in their crayon strokes, kind of like the brushstrokes of a painter. ”
I nod in understanding. Could I get some coloring books and crayons, and just…suggest we color together? The idea…isn’t off-putting. New, and maybe a bit awkward, but not off-putting.
“There are also blocks, Legos, cars and trains and the like, stuffies, books—really anything that you might gift to Cole could be utilized for a Little Boy. Now, if he regresses a bit older, there’s action figures, Legos again—though I think that’s an everybody thing.
Fucking Reid loves the different fandom sets they sell.
It would depend on his personality and what he likes.
“Anderson is fairly confident in his assessment that Lio is a Little similar to himself, but you never know. We try not to judge people by their demeanor and what they ‘should’ be based on society’s rules.
If he were older, then maybe video games.
They have plenty of learning games. I think I heard he’s a math genius?
You could probably find something with numbers for him.
Though limiting screen time for Littles is important.
Little shits can try to push their limits sometimes,” he grouses, as if he’s had personal experience with such a thing, and it makes me grin.
I lose my smile though when I think of video games. I hesitate a little before asking, “Video games…some Littles play those?”
His focus sharpens. “They can, though unless it’s a learning game, or something simple like that, they’re not usually interested or allowed. Middles, on the other hand…yeah, video games can be one of their activities. Have you heard of a Middle in your research?”
I nod, something curling in my chest. “They can also regress, but not as young, falling more into the age range of a teen or tween.”
Ian snorts. “Pretty much, and all the drama that comes with it. There aren’t many Middles in our circle, but I’ve seen them before. You have something on your mind?”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “I’m not sure if you’ve interacted much with Benjamin yet? He’s Lio’s best friend, one of my lovers, and Ignacio’s ex-fiancé.”
“I haven’t been formally introduced to him, no, but I’ve seen him around.”
Needing to stand for this, I get up and move behind my chair, gripping the back of it.
“Benjamin…never told me that he was into video games, but according to Ignacio, it was a common pastime of his, his way of destressing. He’d play online with his friends from his old life, and…
well, Ignacio described how he would get lost in his games and forget the world around him, and how it seemed to boost him up afterward, makes me wonder if he was regressing while playing.
I’m not the expert here, but…it’s been months since he last played.
As I said, he never told me about his interest.
“But…what if some of his issues are because he hasn’t had that outlet?
It would make sense, at least in what little I’ve learned about age play, regression, and the like.
Emilio is able to easily regress, but he accepts he is a Boy.
He loves having a Daddy and a Papa Bear.
He loves having an Owner.” I shake my head, feeling as if I’m losing control for the first time in a while… but then, Benjamin does that to me.
“Benjamin…he is adamant he isn’t a Boy, and even when I tease him about needing a spanking—though I’m mostly serious—he claims he doesn’t need a Daddy…but…”
“But you think he does need one?” Ian raises a brow.
“I have no fucking idea. And I hate that I don’t know. I’m the one who usually has all the answers, who makes things better. I can’t do that if I. Don’t. Know.”
“Okay, take a few deep breaths. I’m here for this exact reason.”
I ignore his instructions, unappreciative that he’s trying to soothe me.
“He has…trouble sharing me. Is it because of his jealousy tendencies? Or simply because he’s a petulant teenager that wants all the attention?
Even though I’ve explained over and over—and Lio has explained it too—that it’s not sharing.
I don’t work that way. I can’t separate myself into pieces… But… Fuck! I don’t know.”
Ian taps a finger to his lips, seeming lost in thought.
After a long moment, he finally says, “I can’t answer any of your questions without speaking to him, and even then I wouldn’t get a clear picture until we’ve had a few sessions, but…
my professional opinion, as both a sex therapist versed in BDSM dynamics and a Daddy who was involved in the community? I believe you have a solid hypothesis.
“There’s a good chance Benjamin is lashing out because he is a Middle who hasn’t had any time to regress into that part of himself—either because he doesn’t feel safe, or more likely, he doesn’t know about it.
Based on what you’ve said about him insisting that he isn’t a Boy, and doesn’t need a Daddy, I’d wager it’s the latter.
“The sharing thing…that’s more Reid’s territory than mine, but Middles are notorious for being terrible sharers.
Poor Anderson doesn’t always understand it because he loves sharing his crayons.
That is something I can help with, though.
I’ll even throw in personal experience about having a Boy who is married to someone else. ”
Ian leans forward and once more rests his forearms on the desk.
“I’m happy to speak with him. I can’t force myself on him, but…
as part of his therapy program, I may be useful since I understand unique intimate dynamics.
Being poly will give him the insight needed to understand.
I believe Javi assigned Anderson to him as his therapist, which is good.
Reid, Anderson, and I all understand polyamorous dynamics, but the way we see ourselves, and how we approach it, is very different, even though we’re together. ”
I sigh, hanging my head. “I’ve failed him so many times, Ian.
I can’t fail him in this as well.” Deciding to give him something, because he’s been so open and honest with me the entire time, I look into his eyes and say, “I need this to work; I don’t think either of us will live long if we can’t find our way back to each other. ”
“I’ll help in whatever capacity I can, Tennant. I’m on your side.”
Daddy to Daddy, the words are a vow, and I take them as such, hoping that showing my weakness isn’t a mistake.
Failure is not an option. Not when I have so much to live for now.