21. Jude #3
He chews his lip. “Sometimes it’s hard. Jealousy has always been something I’ve struggled with when it comes to the other Boys.
I hated when they got attention from Il Padrone and I didn’t, but…
I know with you it's different. You’ve made it clear I’m always welcome, and have never used my affection and need for praise and reassurance as a weapon. ”
“Never. I may like playing with you, and can be a little sadistic sometimes, but I will never use it against you, Bello.”
His eyes widen. “A little sadistic? Daddy, you’re the best at playing games with your brat.”
I laugh. “I’m glad you think so. I try my best to meet you on your level, and keep you on your toes.”
“You do, Daddy, I promise.” He stares at me intently before asking, “Can you please try to forgive Sandro? I…I know I have no right to ask, but…he’s my friend.
He saved me from a life full of pain, and I will forever be grateful for him.
He gave me the life I have now. I’m not asking you to understand it, but… for me, can you try?”
I sigh, brushing my thumb across his bottom lip.
He darts his tongue out, tasting my skin, and I hold it there while I study him.
“He abused the power he had over all of you. I know he never hurt you physically, and at the time, you had willingly given him your trust, and handed over your body, but…the games he played, the trust he broke in everyone…it’s hard for me to reconcile it all. ”
“I love him, Daddy. He’ll always be the man who saved me, who taught me how to embrace what I’m good at.
He's the man who loved us, even if he had a shitty way of showing it. It’s hard to explain without you living it yourself, but…
I still trust him. I don’t want him, not in that way, but for Lio’s sake, and for his own, I want to see him thrive again. ”
Sighing again, I lean in and kiss him, moving my hand to the back of his head and gripping his hair tightly. He moans and I grin against his lips.
Pulling back, I meet his eyes. “It’s not just Lio and you who want him to find his place amongst us once again.
Tennant has…taken an interest in his well-being.
” Antonio lights up, the promise of gossip too much for my Boy to ignore.
I give him a look. “I don’t know the details.
I haven’t had a deep conversation with Tennant about it, but…
Hollis let us know that Sandro is now off-limits and under Tennant’s protection.
And…I trust Ten with not only my life, but yours and the Boys as well, so…
I make no promises, but I’ll give him a chance.
“I won’t say it’ll be easy, but I’m not unreasonable. Just know that if he ever tries to touch you again, I’ll make what Cristian did to Ignacio look like a papercut.”
He laughs. “I have a protective Daddy. I love it.”
Snorting, I shake my head.
He stares at me for a long moment before asking, “Daddy? Do you think you’ll ever want to get married?”
I watch his expression carefully, but don’t see any hints there one way or the other.
Answering as honestly as I can, I say, “No. Marriage…I don’t need it to show those I care about how I feel.
If…if you wanted that, I’d give you the best proposal and wedding possible, but otherwise, it’s not in the cards for me. ”
His nose wrinkles. “I know it seems as if I should want that, but…I like what we have—you, me, and the Stars. We don’t need anything else.”
“What about children?” I ask, knowing Roman plans on having many, and wondering if my Bel Fiore wants that as well. I wouldn’t mind either way. I never gave children any thought, but I’ll help care for Roman’s as best I can.
He shrugs. “I was always content with being Cole’s fun uncle.
The one who loaded him up with chocolate and then sent him back to his dads, but…
I’ve seen you with him. I’ve watched how gentle, sweet, and kind you are.
And you look fucking hot with a kid in your arms, Daddy.
I…I think I could raise one or two with you, Nicolo, and Nario.
Maybe, if it’s what the three of you want as well. ”
I brush my fingers over his cheek, then kiss him softly.
“Roman wants kids. At least four, maybe five, I can’t remember the exact numbers, but enough to keep us busy for years.
I would love to raise a child with you, Bello.
If that’s what you want. You can be the doting uncle, or the fun-loving, trouble-making stepdad, if that’s what you’re more comfortable with. But…I’m not ruling it out.”
His smile is blinding. “Then…maybe after all this shit with the Senator is done, we can…talk to Nario and Nicolo?”
“Yeah, Bello, we can do that.”
He throws his arms around my neck, hugging me tightly for a moment before letting go and snuggling back into my lap. “Love you, Daddy.”
I tighten my arms around him, holding him so close he might as well be in my skin. “I love you too, Sweetheart.”
Love or not, Tennant’s stupid brain chemistry argument or not…nothing else in the world matters more than this. A Daddy and his Boy? It’s something worth fighting and living for, and I will never take it for granted.
Antonio will know how much his Daddy feels for him, always and forever.