22. Emilio
Istand outside Leandro and Hollis’s domain, and every inch of me is ready for battle. But fuck, who thought I’d get to this point? It’s hard because I know this is going to hurt—both of us. I can only hope that in the end, we’ll come out of it stronger, more cohesive as a unit and as a family.
For now, though, it’s time to rip the bandaid off and remind people I am a co-ruler of the Council. That I am Death. I may be a submissive, but Master taught me a long time ago that embracing that side of myself doesn’t make me weak. Hopefully, my Owner understands that as well.
Knocking, I wait for permission to enter, which thankfully, Leandro gives me. When I enter, both Leandro and Hollis are at their units. My lips tighten, and I’m not sure what Leandro sees in my eyes, whether he can read the desperation and fury coming off me, but he immediately stills.
Cocking his head, he studies me carefully, and the brief warning glance he sends my way likely should concern me. Instead, all I do is shake my head minutely. This is between my Owner and me. He can’t step in the way, even though I’m sure he’s already scheming.
With a subtle sigh, he calls out, “I’m going to take Boston outside. Remember, no sex in the office.”
Hollis blinks, straightening from the computer. When he notices it’s me, he gestures for me to come closer. “What is it, Cucciolo?”
The sincere concern in his voice almost breaks me, but I can’t let it.
Even though I’m desperate for his comfort.
Instead, I give him what I can and slide easily to my knees, offering him the gift of my submission.
I fervently wish that it won’t be the last time I give it to him, but the next part of our journey is up to him.
“I need to talk to you, Sir.” The words are soft, but firm.
Hollis pushes his chair out from the desk and turns to stare at me. His hand reaches out and cups my face, an exact mirror of what Master does. These two…they’re so fucking similar, and it crushes me that they don’t see it.
“What’s going on, Pup?”
Taking a deep breath, I slowly let it out, trying to steady myself. Looking into my Owner’s eyes, I try to put into words what I need. “I need you to work with Master, Sir. I…I need you two to be on the same page.”
He removes his hand as if I’ve burned him, a scowl automatically replacing the concern that lingered on his face. “Your Master and I are fine.”
“No, you’re not. Please, Sir. You’re my Owner, and I love you. He’s…struggling. He doesn’t feel like he can be a Master to me.”
Hollis’s brow furrows, and he hesitates for a moment before waving the issue away. “That’s not my issue, Pup. He can work on it in therapy, or talk to Ian. It has nothing to do with me.”
Scrambling to my feet, my body goes numb. This…this is what I was worried about. Because if Hollis loved me, he’d know that my heart can’t survive without my Master, no matter how much I try to make it do so.
“Please,” I beg as tears threaten to fall. “I need you to talk to him. He doesn’t want to cross any boundaries. He’s deferring to you, and to him, that means he can’t be a Master. That the imbalance is too strong, because you’re in charge of everything.”
Hollis’s body stiffens, and he shakes his head. “He’s not wrong. I am in charge. Your safety means too much to me to let him have carte blanche.”
“But you won’t even talk to him! I know he’s tried.
You walk past him like you don’t even see him.
You block every attempt he makes to talk with you.
I’m not the only one who has noticed. Even Roman has.
He says he was told Master was off limits, but that there’d be no discussion about it.
You’re laying down rules, making the decisions, but you’re not listening, and I need you to listen to me. ”
Jumping to his feet, Hollis comes closer to me, his hand whipping out to grab my throat. “Are you questioning me, Cucciolo? Because that’s not your place.”
His voice is like ice and it slithers along my veins, freezing me in place so that nothing can touch me—not even the love that I know must exist between us.
He doesn’t exert any pressure, but he doesn’t have to, just this position reinforces the imbalance between us.
It’s one I normally treasure, because I know he sees me and values my submission.
But now… Now, I’m beginning to wonder if he really does.
Or am I merely a puppet for his pleasure?
When he abruptly lets me go, my hands fly to my throat, testing it even though I know he didn’t hurt me. The guilt in Hollis’s eyes makes it worse, and I wish I could comfort him, but I can’t. Not…Not right now.
“You are my Owner. My Angel. The man I love.” I take a deep breath, stepping even closer so there’s barely a hairsbreadth between us.
I reach out and caress his face before I step back, letting the divide swallow the pain and confusion.
“But, you and Daddy taught me to reach for more in life.
You taught me to have things like boundaries. And to want healthy relationships.
“And Master… Master taught me that I am more than my submission. I think perhaps you’ve forgotten that at some point. You’re used to me falling to my knees. But… As much as I love you, I will not yield anymore. Not when it comes to matters of the heart.”
“What are you saying?” Hollis demands, rage and fear entwined in his eyes, pouring off him in waves hot enough to burn. “Are you saying you’d choose him over me? Over the love we’ve all given you?”
I shake my head, wishing he’d listen. Fuck, maybe I should have talked to Javi first. Or Anderson. I…I foolishly thought he’d hear me.
I hold up my hand to stop him from coming nearer as I back up even further. “It nearly killed me walking away from Master, but I did it. This time, I’m going to walk out that door and away from you. Because if you make me choose… Well, I’m finally strong enough to choose myself.
“I need people who will listen when I talk. Ones who will treasure my submission and won’t just bark out orders. And yes, right now, Master gives me that. But it’s not a competition, my Angel. It never was. You want control. But this time? This time, you can’t have it.”
With that, I whirl around and dash for the exit, nausea clawing at me.
I bolt to the nearest bathroom, promptly losing what little food I had in my stomach.
I take out my phone and send a shaky text to Daddy, hoping he’ll go check on my Angel.
Maybe he can fix this…because all I did was make it worse.
Only…I don’t know what I could have done differently?
Why? Why wouldn’t he listen? Fuck. All I want is to love him, but… I can’t offer blind allegiance anymore. Not even to my Angel…