Chapter Fifteen #4
He’d never said them before to anyone, because he’d never been able to. People left, and they broke you in ways you’d never be fixable.
But he felt it.
God.
He felt it too deeply.
Taking his erection in his hand, he stroked him, and pulled a deep, warm moan from his partner. Corbin dropped his head back and didn’t look at him.
He convinced himself it was because he felt good.
Not because he felt nothing.
That was a lie.
Oh, but the way his hand and mouth felt on his erection was deliciously wicked as he gave him head.
He hated that it felt like this, and Corbin despised that he could feel his heart opening, betraying his vow and husband.
“Alex.”
At his name, the man shared that intimacy with him, wanting nothing more than to have some permanency.
What wouldn’t he give for someone to love him a little bit to stay?
To love him?
To show him he was worth something?
Alex would give everything to just belong to anyone who could give him the tiniest bit of love. Was it so much to ask to have stability?
As he blew him, Corbin’s hand slid into his hair, and he slowed him down, making sure to show him how he liked his blowjobs.
Slow.
Deep.
And wet.
And Alex gave him that.
In that moment, he’d give him anything. He’d give him what was left of his battered and bruised soul right from his body if he asked.
If he would stay.
But he was a smart man, and Alex knew that in the end, he would walk away to save himself the pain of being told to go.
Yeah, life wasn’t ever going to change for him, and he knew that this becoming more had a snowball’s chance in Hell.
He just wasn’t worth it.
He wasn’t worth anything.
As Alex blew him, Corbin teetered on the edge. His body was wracked with pleasure, and he couldn’t help but want to cum. When he looked down, Alex was staring up at him, and he saw it.
Emptiness.
Yeah, he felt that to his cold, dead soul, too.
“I’m going to cum,” he whispered.
That was all he had to hear. Alex was braced for it. Sliding him deeper down his throat, he knew the exact moment when the floodgate opened. He felt the heat explode from Corbin, and he swallowed it all.
There was a moan, and Corbin realized it was from him. His body loosened up, and he felt the need to give something back to Alex.
He knew there would be nothing past this moment, but he didn’t want to think he didn’t care.
He did.
Way.
Too.
Much.
Pulling him up, they stood toe-to-toe, as he stared into his eyes. Without a word, he wrapped an arm around him, and locked him to his body.
Then, he kissed him.
Alex’s arms went around his neck, and he held on.
He clung to him, hoping to feel. It was out of desperation and loneliness, and it had him by the balls.
He was so hard, and the feel of this man against him made his whole being crave more.
He wanted to know what love felt like.
Alex desperately needed to know.
As his mouth dominated him, he could feel his boxers being shoved down, and the cool air of the room assault his bare ass. Then, he could feel his shirt being dropped from his body.
There were hands everywhere, and the alcohol had given him a buzz, but nothing compared to what he was feeling now.
With two hands on his ass, he was pulled up, and he wrapped his legs around Corbin’s hips. Holding on was his only thought.
He needed to hold on until someone saved him.
Deep down, he wished it would be this man, but he knew the truth.
This was it.
He’d warned him, and there would be no staying with him. In the morning, it would be over.
There was a strangled sob that escaped through the kiss, and it made Corbin break it.
“Please don’t,” he whispered.
And Alex knew why.
Instead of saying anything, he just rested his forehead against Corbin’s.
Then, he spoke.
“I know. Don’t worry. I know there’s nothing here for me,” he whispered. “I know you’ll never feel anything for me. No one ever does,” he whispered. “I’m invisible.”
At his words, Corbin wanted to weep too. That feeling—it was universal for Corbin. He lived it every day of his life. At that moment, he knew he should stop, run, hide, but he wanted to give Alex something before he said goodbye.
Because now, he couldn’t be his partner.
The ties…they would bind them, and only be worse when he told this man he couldn’t give him what already belonged to his dead husband.
No one deserved to be second.
Or last.
Because he couldn’t give him all, he had to let him go.
So, Corbin laid him back on the bed, and began kissing his way down his body again. His legs were over his thighs, and his erection was wet with precum.
It wasn’t faked.
It was real.
When he reached his erection, he ran his fingers through the precum beading there, and spread it across the head of his erection.
He was being gentle—not because he was rough during sex, but because he knew Alex needed it.
He deserved it.
It had been short, but they’d had a good run, and he wanted them to part ways with something between them. It wasn’t always quantity, but quality.
Ironically, that’s how he felt with Will. It befuddled him how the universe could hate him this fucking much.
As he began blowing him, Alex’s body bowed again, and it sent chills down Corbin’s. His sleek body felt so familiar beneath his hands. His slim waist, and defined thighs told him way too much about the man.
He had a runner’s body, and he felt good beneath him. If he closed his eyes, the feel and scent took him back.
To someone else.
Unfortunately, when Corbin opened his eyes and glanced up the long lean frame of this man, it was Alex watching him as he blew him.
Not Will.
But this time, unlike with all the other one-night stands, he wasn’t disappointed it wasn’t Will.
He was disappointed it wouldn’t be more than just tonight.
“Oh, God,” Alex whispered, as his balls tucked up into his body, and he was about to cum.
And Corbin didn’t hesitate to push him over the edge. He scraped his teeth down the length of him, and Alex exploded in the most amazing orgasm.
As he swallowed him, and all of the cum, Corbin reached off of the bed to paw around for his pants. In his wallet, there was a condom.
He called it the Saturday night special.
It was there in case he needed sex, and he picked someone not-so-special up for a Saturday night.
As Alex opened his eyes, Corbin went back to blowing him again. His own erection was back, and he had the condom out of his wallet and on the bedding beside them.
After this, he needed to sleep.
And he would hide.
Because nothing good came from fucking for nothing more than boredom.
And that’s what he told himself this was.
He willfully ignored the feelings this man gave him. If he denied it, he would be okay.
Even though he knew Alex wouldn’t be.
It was selfish, but he couldn’t stop it. After all, he’d warned him there was nothing more after this, and nothing would change. He’d proceeded at his own risk.
As he added his hand, he gave Alex the most pleasure he could. He only hoped it filled him up enough so he could be okay when they parted ways.
As he felt Alex moving closer to the edge, he used only his mouth, so his hands were free to slip the condom down his erection.
Their journey stopped here.
It ended with him cumming.
As the heat built, and Alex was whimpering from the death grip the man had on his erection, Corbin knew the exact moment he planned on taking his ass.
Using his hand, he started jerking him off, as he got into position. At the nudge of his erection to Alex’s ass, the man opened his eyes.
And Corbin slid home.
There was that startled gasp. There was that frozen look on Alex’s face.
Oh, and Corbin knew it well.
He’d hurt him.
He was frozen in his body, his whole being rocked from the fact that he’d just taken the man’s ass, and it was clear that he was the first one to go there.
“You said…”
Alex blinked back the tears from the shock of pain of that quick and sudden slide into him. Oh, he suspected it would hurt, but then again, everything hurt.
“I gave,” he whispered through the pain.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Corbin felt horrible.
He knew that pain. He knew how much it sucked to have someone shove a dick into you when you weren’t ready.
“I’m sorry,” he said, as he tried to move out of him. Only, Alex locked his legs around his waist.
“Please don’t leave me,” he whispered. “Not now.”
At his words, Corbin stayed above him.
He gave him a minute to adjust to the way he felt in him. The whole time, he stared down into the man’s face, and saw that one tear slip from the corner of his eye.
Instinctually, Corbin brushed it away with his thumb, wanting to soothe the man.
“You should have told me. I would have done this completely differently.”
Yeah, he wouldn’t have done it.
Because now, not only had he used his body, selfishly, Alex would always remember that he’d been the first, and a douchebag at that.
“It’s okay. I’m accustomed to pain.”
That hung there.
And Corbin hated it.
“Alex.”
He shook his head.
“It changes nothing,” he said back, giving Corbin the same shitty words he’d handed him.
And that hurt.
Corbin knew it changed everything. You never forgot that first moment, and instead of making it beautiful, Corbin had made it painful.
When Alex nodded, he knew he was ready. Slowly, Corbin began moving.
The condom was lubricated, so there was that.
As he continued moving, the tension in Alex was gone. Instead, he blossomed and opened for him.
The whole time, Corbin stayed above him, and tried to make amends for what he’d just roughly taken.
He took his ass, but he gave him pleasure.
He gave him part of himself, so when he did think back to this moment, he’d know that it had been special.
Corbin knew he was close, because his ass told the tale. He was tense, and tightening down on him.
“I’m going to cum,” Alex whispered, his body crisscrossed with goosebumps, and so much indescribable pleasure.
This felt…different.
It changed him.
“Cum for me,” Corbin whispered, as he held on, fighting to give him one more after this because Alex deserved that. His only sin was he deserved more than Corbin could give him.
It was the least he could do.
As Alex came, that hot wave of cum splashed both of them, and the shout of pleasure nearly tugged Corbin from the edge.
He watched the man fall, and he enjoyed seeing him take that tumble into that orgasm.
When he opened his eyes, Corbin pulled out of him, and rolled him over. He placed him face down, and he put his body over him.
He was an ass man, and he wanted to remember this moment as something good, too. He wanted to enjoy his partner, before it was done.
Sliding back into Alex, he mounted him, and began moving—this time a little rougher. This time, dominating that mating.
“Oh, God,” Alex whispered, as his whole being filled with the feeling of rapturous pleasure. “More,” he begged, never wanting that feeling to end.
He was a sticky mess, and he wanted this man to sully him up even more.
He wanted it all for a change.
“Please,” he begged as Corbin fought to not cum, even as he checked out the art across the man’s body.
There was a solitary wolf, and it was sitting in a forest of trees depicted across his back. Beside it, there was a spot that was left untouched.
And Corbin understood.
That solitary wolf was waiting for its other half to be placed there.
In that moment, he knew who it wouldn’t be.
HIM.
As Alex was taken, his body was pressed to the bed, and his erection was back. The man above him was taking long, slow strokes in and out of his ass, hitting that one spot.
He wasn’t lasting long.
When he tipped his hips a little, Corbin moaned, and that heat exploded from him as it pulled him from the edge. Maybe it was the tightness, or maybe it was the how incredibly sexy Alex’s ass and body was, but it undid him.
“Fuck,” he muttered, as he came hard.
Only, Alex didn’t feel the wetness, but he still followed him over the edge, cumming himself.
And the room went quiet.
For the next few minutes, Corbin waited for there to be some drama, and an awkwardness, but there was none.
Alex blamed him for nothing, and he asked for even less. It was when he could hear his soft breathing, and how his body moved from deep breaths, that he knew he had fallen asleep.
Yeah, that was probably a good plan.
Hiding from each other seemed like the sanest thing either of them had done today.
As their bodies cooled, Corbin fought to stay awake, but he was so goddamn tired. His plan had been to leave this room, and get a new one in a different hotel, but exhaustion had won.
It had been a rough couple of days on the case, and he knew that later, there would be a fight.
There would be more anger, and he wouldn’t blame Alex for hating him.
He expected it and deserved it.
Tomorrow would be a problem.
But for tonight…
He’d just hide and sleep, and he’d just fake it until he could make it.
That was the story of his goddamn life.
His empty.
Pathetic.
Life.
Because tomorrow, he could never see this man again.
Fuck his life.
* * * The Blackhawk Family * * *
In The Cemetery
Watching
Studying
Oh, he knew who she was, and he also knew that she’d ruined his collection.
It was a shame, too.
He’d worked a long time on that.
It had taken so many years to perfect his means of killing to get away with it.
Now, as he watched her in his space, he knew she would be the perfect adversary.
He loved a smart woman. There was something so deliciously entertaining about them.
Before, he’d been focused on his needs, and the way his collection made him feel.
Now, he’d be focused on how she reacted.
Let the twisted games begin.
Someone had met his match.
Finally.