Chapter 25 Tanner
TANNER
Icome home from the carnival ready to crash. I shared cotton candy with Lulu and a bucket of fries with Dean, and all the sugar and salt is clouding my head. That, and the fact that Des left so abruptly. He said he had a thing he needed to take care of and would meet us back at home.
Did he have to go back to the office? His Silq Cosmetics pitch is coming up soon, and more than anything, Des cares about his career. Despite how my heart beats for him, he’s not going to give that up for this manic collection of kids and one harried dad.
The kids are crashing from the copious amounts of sugar they had at the carnival, as well as the general high of rides wearing off. I make them brush their teeth, and after that, it’s easy getting them into bed.
Des’s car is in the driveway, but I don’t find him in the bedroom. He isn’t upstairs. Did he have a coworker take him to the office? Is he pulling an all-nighter? Before my mind can do its favorite thing—spiral—I hear the faint sounds of music coming from outside. My bedroom window is cracked open.
The roof.
Moments later, I join Des up there. Some ‘90s rock is playing softly from his phone as he stares out on the rows of cookie cutter homes before us. The view can’t compare to the one he gets from his riverfront condo.
“Hey. How was the rest of the carnival?” he asks.
“I won Lulu a Paw Patrol stuffed animal, which she’s currently hugging in bed, even though she doesn’t watch Paw Patrol. Dean is pumped that he won the ring toss game. And I think I ate my weight in cotton candy and deep-fried foods. It’s a shame you had to leave early.”
“I’m sorry about that. Sounds like I missed a good time.” I know Des well enough to sense a tiny shift in him from earlier tonight. His eyes are ringed with heaviness.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” He pats the roof next to him. I take a seat, and we stare into the suburban abyss together. Des feels tense beside me. I’m always the first to sense when his cool demeanor begins to slip.
Worry seizes my stomach.
“Tanner, I hope you get this job. But I also know what it means.” He turns to me, eyes big and serious. Worried. “It means this ruse is over.”
I gulp back a lump in my throat. “We can wait until you find out about your promotion. To keep up appearances and all that.”
“Uh-huh. And you think this is for the best?”
Against every impulse in my heart, I nod yes. “This was only supposed to be temporary. We don’t want to…confuse things any longer.”
“Confuse things?”
“Yes. This isn’t real. You have an exciting career and an exciting life to get back to.” It takes all of my strength not to buckle and break down. This dream life with Des as my husband wasn’t built to last.
“Maybe I want this life.” His voice quivers with emotion.
“Being in this house is messy and chaotic and loud. So freaking loud. And I’ve never been happier.
I spent my whole life outrunning a crappy home.
But being here with you and the kids, it makes me feel like I’m part of a team.
” He takes my hand, squeezes it tight. “I belong here. And I think…I don’t suck at the dad stuff. ”
Before I can object or say anything, he leans in and kisses me. His lips fill me with new life. It’s been way too long since we last kissed, and I don’t know how I survived.
“I don’t want to be your fake husband. I want to be your real one.”
“But I thought…when we were in bed, and you pulled away…”
“I got scared. All of this started to get serious. You have a whole family to think about, Tanner. I couldn’t continue to hook up with you and then freak out and push you away.
I’d hurt you and those kids. But I realized that this is what I want.
You. Me. Kids. Family pictures that end in tears.
Pop Tarts for breakfast as we’re running out the door.
Going to sleep every night with you cuddled in my arms. I want all of it. I’m not running.”
I have to catch my breath as I take this all in. He is saying everything I’ve wanted to hear. My soul gets so light, I might just float away.
“I thought you were a proud bachelor.”
He shrugs. “People change. I thought you were straight.”
I snort a laugh. “I tried to talk myself out of falling for you so many times, and it never worked.”
“You’re falling for me?” Des asks.
“Uh-huh. Are you falling for me?”
“No.” He smooths a hand over my cheek. “I’m already there.”
Des has always been my friend. We’ve been there for each other through everything. I never thought I’d develop feelings for him, but here they are, and they are as natural as the wind.
He takes my hand and twists the ring on my finger. “You really like wearing that ring.”
I blush. “Old habits.”
“Can I borrow it for a second?” He gently tugs the ring off my finger. “I’d get on one knee, but I’m afraid of falling off the roof.”
“We can pretend.”
“Perfect. Okay, I’m on one knee.” That salesman twinkle is in his eye, though I don’t need to be sold. “Tanner Michael Chance, will you marry me for real?”
“Before I say yes, you’re aware that I come with four kids, which you will also be responsible for? There will be fights, and punishments, and throwing up, and forcing them to do their homework, and probably more throwing up, usually on your favorite outfit.”
A huge grin slides onto his face. “Sign me up.”
He slides the ring back onto my finger.
I shuffle over to him for another earth-shattering kiss. He swallows me up in a hug, and we sit there making out in the moonlight, ready for the next stage of our lives to begin.
After a few minutes of romantic tranquility, Des’s hand slips down to my crotch, which is just as excited about the nuptials as my heart.
“Should we pick up where we left off?” he asks.
“Definitely.”
“Technically we’re already married, so we don’t need to wait until the wedding night.”
“We’re having a wedding?”
He pleads the fifth by kissing me hard and quick, priming both our pumps. We make our way back into the bedroom and fall back on the bed.
Des, on top of me, those soft lips kissing down my neck. Our cocks rub against each other through our pants. I can feel how hard he is. Hard for me. I melt to his touch.
“You’re wearing too many clothes. Let’s do something about that.” Des takes his torturous time unbuttoning my shirt. His warm hands glide over my chest, across my light dusting of hair.
He kisses between my pec muscles down my stomach. My cock strains against my underwear and pants, begging to be free.
“Daddy.”
I jolt up. It’s not Des calling me daddy. It’s one of my actual kids.
“Daddy, my tummy hurts,” Lulu whines.
The doorknob twists open, and I work in record fast time to button up my shirt. Des sits on the edge of the bed, his legs crossed, face red from what must be a tight squeeze.
Lulu shuffles in, half-asleep. I pull her onto my lap.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart? You have a tummy ache?”
She nods yes and crumples into a sob. I hug her to my chest while Des rubs her back.
“I think you ate too much junk food at the carnival. Didn’t I tell you that eating all that cotton candy would give you a tummy ache?”
She doesn’t answer, but continues crying. She hasn’t fully grasped that her actions have consequences. Though to be fair, neither have most adults.
“Maybe some ginger ale could help settle your stomach,” I say. I rock her in my lap. “How does that sound?”
“Okay,” she says into my chest.
“Uncle Des will get you some.”
Des holds up the one minute finger. He points to his crotch, apparently wishing ginger ale could settle that, too.
“Don’t worry. Uncle Des is going to go real soon to get you some ginger ale.”
Lulu whines in pain. She looks up, her big eyes all red with large tear drops. “Daddy, can I sleep with you tonight?”
I swivel my head to Des, and we silently commiserate. Looks like sex is off the table for tonight.
He hops off the bed, jeans nice and flat. “One ginger ale coming up.”
“Could you put it in my Bluey cup? With a straw?” Despite being horribly sick, Lulu still remains a girl who knows what she wants.
“Are you sure you still want all this?” I whisper to him.
He winks at me, a security blanket if I ever needed one. “Oh yeah.”