Chapter 24 Des #2
I clench my jaw, memories flashing back to finding that pen in her backpack, the way she flipped the questions back on me, asking about my intentions with Tanner. She’s smart. Too smart for her own good.
“What else? Drinking? Drugs?”
He stares down at the ground and nods again. “I’m sorry.”
“Why did you agree to this?”
“I thought…maybe if we spent more time together, she might actually want to be my girlfriend.”
Matthias crumples, a bigger hunch in his back as he comes to the sad realization that he and Lena won’t be happening. My heart goes out to him.
“Where is she tonight?”
“I can find out,” he says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do anything wrong.”
Said anyone who’s ever been in a fake relationship.
I run a hand over my face, sighing heavily. “Okay,” I say finally, my voice firm. “Thank you for telling me. If I find out you’re lying, or that you’re part of the rough crowd? We’re gonna have a problem.”
He holds up his hands. “No problem. I’m the most boring guy you’ll ever meet.”
I almost smile. Almost.
I text Tanner that I had to leave. Work emergency. I Uber back to the house, get my car, and drive to a woodsy area on the edge of town. I march down a muddy trail, destroying my new sneakers, until I reach a clearing.
I spot her through the haze of cigarette smoke and the glow of someone’s car headlights.
Lena, perched on the hood of a beat-up sedan, surrounded by kids who are all at least two or three years older than her.
The kind of kids with too much eyeliner, torn jackets, and the simmering energy of people looking for trouble.
It’s not like I belong here either. I stick out—pressed shirt, nice jeans, the faint lingering scent of fried carnival food still clinging to me.
She looks so much younger out here than she does when she’s rolling her eyes at me across the dinner table. Her legs swinging off the car. Her hoodie sleeves pulled down over her hands.
I step closer, my shoes crunching over gravel.
One of the older guys notices me first—skinny, wiry, with a vape pen in his mouth, a beer bottle dangling from his fingers, and a look that says I’m not welcome.
“Lost, old man?” he sneers.
Lena’s head snaps up at that. Her eyes go wide. “Des?”
The whole group quiets. They watch us like it’s a showdown.
“What are you doing here?” She turns red, an avalanche of embarrassment. I get that. I’d feel the same if my parents showed up at a party to drag me home. But now that I’m on the other side, I don’t care.
“I could ask you the same thing,” I say evenly. “But let’s not do this in front of your…friends.”
The group mutters among themselves, amused. One of the girls giggles, her hand curled around a bottle of pills.
“We’re just having a good time, old man,” the wiry guy says, his eyes glassy. I doubt it’s just tobacco in his vape.
“Do you know what one of the benefits of being an old man is? Having other adult friends. Like my good friend, the chief of police. Should I call him and ask if he wants to join?”
The wiry guy backs away, hands up. “Narc,” he mutters.
Yeah, I am. And again, as an adult, I don’t care. Being in your forties means everything aches, but it also means I don’t give a fuck if some pissant teenagers think I’m uncool.
“Why don’t you guys get the hell out of here,” I tell them.
Lena slides off the car.
“You’re joining the narc, Lena? Forget him.” Wiry guy grabs her ass to pull her back, spiking a bout of rage in me I didn’t know I was capable of feeling.
I grab him by the collar, yank him off the car and throw him to the ground. I squat down to his eye level. Panic sets in for him, the scared boy shining through his wannabe bad boy facade.
“What’s your name?” I ask.
“Tyler.”
“Tyler, here’s the deal: if you so much as talk to Lena again, I will find out.” I inch closer, my jaw tighter than a steel blade. “And I won’t be happy. I play hockey, which means I have no problem beating the shit of people.”
I stand up. I might be a quarter-century out of high school, but I’ve still got it.
Lena keeps her distance but starts walking with me toward the edge of the lot, away from the cluster of headlights and smoke. I don’t push; I just walk beside her until we’re far enough that no one can hear.
She shakes her head. “I’m going to kill Matthias.”
“In his defense, I didn’t give him much of a chance to cover for you.”
“You embarrassed me.”
“Believe me, suffering a little embarrassment is worth avoiding whatever path you were headed down back there.” I stop, trying to remember what it felt like when I was her age, when I so desperately wanted to experience all the world had to offer.
“Look, I’m still new at this dad stuff. But even you know those kids are trouble considering you enlisted a fake boyfriend to hide them. ”
“You know all about fake boyfriend shit.”
“Watch your language.” Words I never thought I’d ever utter. I think I just aged myself a decade.
She crosses her arms. “It’s not what you think.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Really? Because what I think is that you’re fourteen and hanging out in a parking lot with kids who all look like they failed out of a CW casting call for bad decisions.”
She groans, tilting her head back. “God, you sound like such a dad.”
“Yeah, well, fake stepdad duties apparently come with the lectures.”
Lena scuffs her shoe against the pavement. The streetlight overhead flickers. She looks small again, the hard edges falling off her.
“What are you doing here with these idiots? You know better.”
“You never went to parties?” She cocks an eyebrow, thinking she’s got me.
And she kind of does.
“It was different,” is all I can manage. They seemed a lot less shady than whatever was going on in this parking lot. Though maybe that’s just my recollection.
“Let me guess. Because you’re a guy, they were fine. But because I’m a girl, I have to be saved.”
“I…I know what those guys are like. I wouldn’t want Davy here either. One of the benefits of being older is seeing what happens to these types of ‘friends.’ Spoiler alert: it’s not anything good. You don’t want to end up like them.”
“You don’t know anything about them.”
“That’s because you never brought them around the house, which means you don’t even think they’re good people.
” Internally, I pump my fist. Point Des.
“Why did you lie? The vape pen. Using Matthias as your shield. Sneaking out to secluded parking lots with a bunch of sketchballs. This isn’t you, Lena. ”
“Why can’t it be?” she yells back, her voice breaking. Her cool, detached teenage facade drops, revealing primal emotions.
“Hey, talk to me.”
“I’m supposed to be the responsible daughter, and that’s all I am to him.
” She sucks in a shaky breath, shoulders hunched.
“Dad treats me like I’m the built-in babysitter.
Like I’m always fine and I have it all together.
He doesn’t really care how I’m doing, just so long as I don’t give him another thing to worry about. But I’m not fine.”
The crack in her voice hits me square in the chest.
“I…I miss my mom,” Lena adds, quieter now.
“I miss her so much. Every day, I wake up and have this thought that maybe the last two years were a dream, and she’s going to come into my room.
It lasts for a second or two before my brain kicks on, and I have to remember that she’s gone all over again. ” Tears roll down her face.
My throat tightens. For a second, I picture the version of myself that was fourteen, angry and lonely in my parents' house, wishing someone would just notice I wasn’t okay.
All I want to do is pull her into the tightest hug possible and make this better.
But this isn’t Lulu wanting the last strawberry Fruit Roll-Up. There is no patented dad solution.
I take a careful step closer. “You’re allowed to be angry, Lena.
And sad. And all the other crap feelings that come with losing someone.
But this?” I gesture toward the parking lot.
“This isn’t you. You’re smart. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you.
You don’t need to play at being reckless to prove anything. ”
She sniffs, silent.
“And for the record,” I add, “your dad? He’s hanging on by a thread, trying to keep it all together. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He just…he thinks you’re stronger than him half the time.”
Lena lets out a weak laugh. “He’s such a mess.”
“Yeah.” I smile faintly. “But he’s your mess. And mine, apparently. I’m going to talk to him about finding a different babysitting option for practice nights.”
She looks up at me, eyes puffy but sharp. “I didn’t want him to know about this, but also...I wished he would’ve been suspicious like you.”
“He was blinded by the sweater vest. Your dad was a nerd like Matthias in high school. A nerdy hockey player. He defies stereotypes. He’s going to be so heartbroken when he discovers you and Matthias aren’t dating.”
She lets out the quickest laugh, letting me know I haven’t lost her.
We walk back toward my car, through the muddy trail that destroys my sneakers even more. She keeps pace with me, quiet, thoughtful.
“I’m grounded, huh?” she asks eventually.
“Oh, absolutely,” I say, unlocking the door. As she slides in, I catch her glancing at me, smiling for the first time tonight.
“Hey,” she says before closing the door. “You don’t suck at this dad stuff.”
I look up at the stars blanketing the night sky for a moment. Maybe I don’t suck at this dad stuff. Maybe, against all my better judgment, I’ve found my place. I just hope there’s still time left to save it.