8. Callum
Luca, Oliver, and I drove to the stadium together the next morning. Luca drove, but I demanded shotgun, since I was the unofficial DJ of the group. I was cocky about of lot of things that weren’t deserved, but making playlists? Yeah, that was my shit. My sisters and I spent every summer pretending to be DJs and curating lists for moods, seasons, movies… you named it.
If my leg were to shatter today, I’d want to find a way to get paid for playlists. Pretty sure that wasn’t a job unless I was a DJ, but hey, it was always there as a fallback.
“What are we feeling today? We angry? We excited? We sad? We pumped? I need a vibe. What vibe are we feeling?”
“Jesus, you’re the human form of a squirrel.” Luca glared at me. “It is too damn early for this many questions.”
“Did you not see Lorelei last night?” I pretended to wince. “The stick up your ass grew, I can tell.”
Oliver snorted in the back. My teammate always sided with me when I decided to poke Luca. It was just too damn easy. “I’m right, Oli. I know it.”
“You have too many energy drinks this morning?” Oliver asked, hitting my shoulder. “You’re in rare form.”
“No energy drinks.” I puffed my chest. “I don’t require caffeine to function like the rest of you. I am pure energy. Pure?—”
“Annoying.” Luca finished my sentence. “I’m a second away from ejecting you out of my car.”
I grinned. “Ooh, do you have a fancy button? Push it. Punish me.”
Luca cursed and turned up the radio to a country song. I won this round. We didn’t keep score, nor did it matter, but I enjoyed being chaos. A bubble of energy had rooted itself inside me all morning. Dare I say it was anticipation?
Of what? Seeing Ivy?
No way.
Yes way.
Being around her, hearing her argue with me… it was glorious. We had shit to work through, but I had no doubt we could. I didn’t intend to drop the ‘dad’ card on her, but it was true, and even now, I still wasn’t over that. He texted me weekly wanting to talk the past three years, and I kept delaying it. Everyone else was working on forgiving him, but I just… couldn’t. I saw my mom sob. I saw how hurt she was.
How could I forgive that? Yeah, no thanks. I’d focus on my life and my mom and sisters, and that was good.
But, I hated seeing Ivy cry. That… no, that wasn’t great. I knew I had to make up for those tears. She had enough people in her life tearing her down, telling her she couldn’t achieve things, and I only wanted to build her up. Not make her cry. And it wasn’t justified to blame her for our fight when all she did was ask questions and push back at me—something I loved about her.
The thrill of the challenge lit me up. It was a character flaw of mine, (I didn’t have too many) but the thought of working hard for her trust back made my blood sing. My life had been chaotic, a party, just… a continual stream of easy. Partying, girls, football, grades…it wasn’t… they came easily to me. I worked hard, but no real elements of a challenge presented themselves there.
Ivy pushed me. She always had, and maybe that was part of the issue those years ago. That I wanted easy. I didn’t want to be challenged or argued with. I wanted a fan, and she was my friend instead. Zap. There went my energy. I deflated like a balloon after New Year’s Eve party. A sad, gross latex blob.
When my moods plummeted like this, I had to focus on someone else. Anything else. Luca had already been pushed enough today. I might be an idiot, but I knew my limits with him. Turning around, I smiled. My target: Oliver. “Hey, Oli, are you good to practice again? You get cleared?”
He sighed. “Yeah. They couldn’t find anything worrying to explain why I passed out. They think its high blood pressure, so we need to keep an eye on it. It freaked me out. I get this dizzy, heady feeling.”
“How long has this happened?” Luca asked, his tone rather kind from the grumpy giant.
“I think it happened in middle school once.” Oliver scrubbed his face with his hand. “My dad is brushing it off like it’s no big deal, but my mom is worried. She wants me to stop playing.”
I frowned. “The NFL draft is next year.”
“I know, Callum.” His gaze met mine, burning with uncertainty. “My mom always said to trust my body. She’s had migraines her whole life, and it fucked her up. A part of me… I don’t know. It feels like it’s something important happening, but they can’t find anything wrong.”
“Do you still want to play?” I asked. My muscles all tensed. This conversation felt bigger than one we had in a ten-minute car ride. It deserved all our attention without distractions. Plus, I still had no idea what the fuck I was gonna do after college, and hearing his plans were great. Maybe I’d steal them.
My future in football always seemed like a problem for the next day. Yet, those days were coming fast, and I still had no idea. Going into the draft, like these guys, meant continuing this brutal lifestyle of discipline. I craved freedom, but now wasn’t the time to worry. I’d do it later… like tomorrow.
He shrugged. “It’s all I’ve ever thought about.”
“Didn’t answer the question,” Luca probed. His stopped a red light and turned to face me, his face set in serious lines. “I can’t believe I’m even saying this, but… if you want to talk this out, we’re here for you.”
“Proud of you, Luca Pooka.” I hit his shoulder, grinning wide. I would absolutely be texting his girlfriend Lorelei about this. Not the content but Luca offering to talk with someone besides her.
“Shut the fuck up.”
Oliver laughed, which I wanted him to, but then he sighed into the seat, closing his eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Have you talked to Coach?”
“About the incident? Yeah, but not all this other confusing shit.” He adjusted his hair back into a half-bun.
I was never jealous of others, but if I were, I would have slight envy of Oliver’s hair. It was the perfect length to pull his hair back and tie it with a leather thing, and it was just fucking cool. No other word for it.
I pushed that thought out of my head because again, it didn’t fucking matter. I accepted my role in the house, and while I was the general goofball, I brought people together. I read the room and adapted my mood based on it. This was no different. “After practice, I’ll demand a house-meeting. I’ll say it’s something about house rules, and Dean will get all worked up and show.”
Oliver’s lips quirked. “Dean does love his house rules.”
“Because he’s a quarterback and needs attention all the time, and now that he’s with Mack, she’s not gonna bow down to him.”
Luca barked out a laugh.
“We’ll talk this out but only if you want, dude. This is something you gotta figure out yourself, but we got your back. We love you, man.” I left the unsaid question in the air, and he nodded.
“Yeah, it’d be good to get it off my chest.”
“Then it’s settled.”
We were almost to the stadium, but I fired off a group text.
Callum: New House Rule. You call me King whenever I enter the room.
Dean: WTF no
Callum: I need three of five votes. I already have my team. We will discuss at 4.
Oliver: I’ll be there. My vote is up for purchasing.
Xavier: I’m intrigued.
“There. The meeting is on.”
“Hey.” Oliver leaned forward and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I smiled. This brought me so much joy, helping others. Could it be a deflection because I wasn’t working on my own shit? Perhaps. Did I want to dive any deeper into that thought? Absolutely the fuck not. I was content living in denial. More than content.
I welcomed the locker room when we walked in. Using a workout as a distraction would be ideal, where I could push myself hard and to the point of exhaustion. A ripple of anticipation flooded my stomach, the familiar nervous energy that I lived with the last few years. It was hard to describe or tame, but it was like having a faucet run without being able to turn it off. The current ran hot or cold but never stopped.
It did when I was with Ivy.
The second I thought about her, I sought her out. Her midnight black hair and orange ribbon took half a second to find. She stood toward the back of the weight room, her large black glasses sitting perfectly on her nose. She spoke with the dork who worked with her, her lips curved up in a smile.
It was normal for them to be friendly. They worked a lot of hours together, but I didn’t like how easily her smiles came for him.
She was like a black cat, prickly and selective, and there was no way he put in enough time to earn her laughter. That shit took years.
Way to be totally normal and cool. Great start to getting her friendship back.
Shut up.
Today was an endurance workout for an hour before heading to the field to run defensive drills. I loved playing defense. Luca and Dean liked offense, scoring and taking charge on the field. That wasn’t my flavor. I still had the same drive they did when I stepped onto the field, but I liked being the subtle one. Defense won games. We didn’t take the same risks, but we changed the game.
Ivy told me once after a huge loss against our rival in high school that defense was the spine. You needed all the other parts: the brain, the arm, the strength, etc., but without a spine, the thing holding it all together, the body was worthless. We sat next to each other on the top row of the bleachers, the cold fall weather blowing her hair in every direction. She wore ribbons then too, ones with my number painted on the ends. Instead of hanging with my hookup at the time, I sought Ivy out. She understood me better than anyone else had then, and I wanted that again.
I’m the spine. When I was down, I repeated that. I was a spine that had a shit-ton of records broken, and my jersey sold as well as Luca’s, but all that superficial shit meant nothing. Football wasn’t the dream it used to be for me. It was my escape out of high school and a way for me to get that extrovert time I craved. Being a part of a team and leading others was my shit, but going into the NFL? I didn’t know.
Then what the hell are you gonna do?
I ran a hand over my face, shaking off the worry yet again. I had time. Probably.
I watched my former best friend, a smile forming on my face as she took orders from her boss. Henry was all right, a little intense but a solid dude. Ivy nodded and headed toward me. Once she moved in sight, I eyed her outfit, spending more time on her legs than I intended. She wore white shoes, professional joggers, and a team polo that fit her really well. She had always been a skinny little thing, no real curves growing up. It didn’t matter to me because I loved her soul, and I had no intention of ever hooking up with her. She meant too much for that. But now? Admiring her curves caught me off guard. When did that happen? This was the third time I’d noticed her.
I frowned, the guilt of missing three years crushing my chest like Luca had sat on it. Her gaze landed on me, and her face lit up. It didn’t last long before she masked it, and I hated that she did that. Seeing that joy got me through some hard times, and knowing it was there even for a second gave me an extra bounce to my step.
“Hi, Callum.” She gave me a half-smile, not the one she gave Abe. “You look particularly formidable today.”
“Just a normal weekday for me. The more scowls or eye rolls I get, the better. I’ve honestly considered myself an energy vampire, where other people’s annoyance fuels me.”
“It would explain so much.” She put way too much emphasis on the word so and looked pleased about it. “You probably get spam callers to hang up on you.”
I cackled. “That only happened once, and it was a dare.”
She hit my shoulder and laughed. Hearing that sound directed at me was a blast from the past, sending a wave of comforting nostalgia that very little could ever replicate. Her throaty, almost octave too low voice rang as she bit her lip, and her laughter died. An unfamiliar buzz formed under my skin. The urge to yank her into a closet to prevent anyone else from hearing that joyful sound was insane.
“I want to hear this story, honestly. Only you would do that.” Her gaze warmed. “I have?—”
“Grab a coffee with me,” I blurted out. It didn’t matter that I had a huge list of things to do. None of them mattered. I couldn’t explain how everything was better when she was around. “Please.”
Her narrowed eyes shifted to contemplative. “Mm, nice save with the manners, Callum.”
I flashed my best, what can you do smile that let me get away with literally anything. It worked on women, coaches, teachers, my family. It was a gift. I used it whenever possible. Never on Ivy though. She scrunched her nose and flicked my forearm.
“Oi, what was that for?”
“Your handsome charm doesn’t work on me. A lot has changed in three years but not that.” She pursed her lips and eyed her watch. “I need to head into the recovery room.”
“And coffee?”
“Maybe.” She tilted her head. “Not sure you deserve it yet.”
“I’ll buy?” Say yes, say yes, say yes, please.
“Well, that was a given.” She pursed her lips. “When did you want to go?”
“Is that a yes then?” Hope flooded me, a foolish emotion. Hope was stupid when there was so much room for error. You worked hard for things, or you didn’t. Things went your way sometimes, other times it didn’t. Hoping my dad got his shit together and didn’t leave a thirty-year marriage for someone at work didn’t do a goddamn thing. Hoping my sister’s baby daddy stepped up to help was useless. I shoved hope away and held my breath. So much depended on her answer for reasons I couldn’t fucking explain.
“Yeah. It’d be nice to… catch up.” She gulped and adjusted her ribbon. “I have questions.”
“I’ll answer anything you want.”
My smile almost hurt my face it was so big. I probably looked obnoxious. I smiled all the time. I was the happy go lucky diffuser of tension. Jokes and smiles were my currency but real joy? Nah. It had been a minute. “I’ll be out of here by four.”
“Oh, you meant today?” Her eyebrows rose.
“Yes.” I was probably coming on a little strong, but this wasn’t a date. I didn’t fucking date. It was Ivy. “Anywhere you want. Wait, I know this place. You would love it. It’s called Zuke’s.”
“I love Zuke’s!”
“Ivy, come on.” Abe joined us, his eyes wide as he stared at me.
The dude was clearly a fan, but I didn’t like him or the way he touched Ivy’s elbow. She didn’t seem to mind, and now I had a million questions. She hated when people touched her. Her love language was the opposite of touch. I knew because we did all those tests together in the summer of freshmen year. So was she okay with touch now? Did he mean something to her?
“I’ll see you at four?” I wanted to reach out and close the distance between us. This momentary truce felt fragile, and it wouldn’t take much for it to shatter.
She smiled, not the full Ivy smile but half of it, and nodded. Then she didn’t look back as she left with Abe. The same flutter of anticipation I had before returned but a thousand times more aggressive. I was excited to catch up with her.
“Dude.” Someone clapped my shoulder, a familiar laugh following it. “You are so fucked.”
I shrugged Dean’s hand off. “Because I’m getting my friend back? What the fuck ever.”
“Sure, that’s what’s happening.” Dean’s grin widened.
I kinda wanted to knock out a tooth to see if he would still be handsome. He’d probably pull it off. “Aren’t you supposed to be on the field of something?”
“Deflection. A sure sign of denial. Oh, let’s analyze?—”
“Fuck off, Romano.”
I grabbed my headphones and got to work, a smile lurking as I thought about coffee. Dean didn’t know shit. He wanted to revenge at me for helping not only his twin sister but also his now-girlfriend. Ivy returned to my life, and I was excited. Nothing more, nothing less. I missed my friend. Dean didn’t know shit. Falling for Ivy? Nah. That’d never happen.