15. Ivy
Fact: anticipation was physiologically the same as feeling nervous. Both exuded the fluttering, butterfly effect where you didn’t really know what you were dealing with.
Like right now.
Callum opened the door to his car for me, resting his hand on my lower back with a slight curl to his fingers. Was that… possessiveness? Or was I reading into it? Probably that.
But he said date.
I was a mess.
Discombobulated. If I was on the field, I’d score a goal on the wrong side. If someone plopped me down in our hometown, I’d get lost. That was how off-kilter I felt.
“You alright over there, Ivy Lee?’
“I’m something,” I said, exasperated. The summer air clung to my skin, coating my body in a light sweat. August humidity would be the death of me one day. Yeah, think about moisture and weather, that was a cool move. Your body might be imploding, but you were thinking about humidity.
No wonder I was single.
Callum winked at me as he started the car and headed onto the main road. He gripped the wheel with his left hand, his right resting on the console between us. His fingers dangled over the side, an inch from my bare kneecap. I wanted him to hit a bump and graze the skin there, but why?
Why was I having these thoughts about Callum, and why was he having them for me? We’d never crossed that line all those years. He wasn’t anywhere near my type, nor I his.
Plus.
We were just getting back to being friends. Yeah. I should focus on that. Not the way he stared at me or called this a date or said this dress made him want to eat me. Shit. I was blushing. I’d watched him flirt and hook up for years, never daring to imagine what it would feel like if it were me. Just the thought of it had me breaking out in sweat. He was so experienced where I wasn’t. He never dated anyone more than a week or two, so this attraction would probably settle down. We’d just reconnected, so the thought of having this end in a week or two had me breathing faster. He said I looked good enough to eat! Those words! I stared at his mouth, his full lips quirked on the side, and I swallowed.
He’d be an incredible kisser. I knew it. Oh my god it’s Callum! What was I doing?
“You’re moving around a lot over there, and I can pretty much hear your mind whirring with questions. You can ask me anything. I’ve never lied to you, you know that.” He reached over and squeezed my knee.
Heat blasted up my thigh to my core, then up my chest. I breathed deep, suddenly aware of the roughness of his pads of his fingers. He’d touched my knee before, but everything was elevated. The scent of his cologne, the mint from his gum, the way he dug his fingers into my leg.
It seemed intimate. He touched me like I was delicate, and that sent a flutter of butterflies deep in my gut.
“I’m confused.”
“Mm, okay, about what?” He glanced at me, a small smile teasing his lips.
Damn, he looked so good. He’d styled his hair and shaved, and his jawline was sculpted like a freaking Greek god’s. My pulse sped up the more I stared at him. I turned up the air-conditioning a notch.
He removed his hand from me as he turned left, and I could breathe a little easier. His touch overwhelmed me, and I liked my thoughts nice and in order, not messy.
“We’re going on a date.”
“Yup.”
“Just… like that?”
“Yup.”
“But, why?” I gripped the door handle, leaning onto the door a bit to provide an extra inch of space between us. I stared out the window, my thoughts clearing out. “We’ve never been close to this before, and I’m not your type at all. You like?—”
“If you’re about to say something negative about yourself, I will refute every comment, so watch it.”
“What? No. I’m not.” I blushed at the intensity of his voice. “I mean, you’re not my type either. This seems?—”
“How the fuck am I not your type?”
“Seriously?” I laughed. “You’re joking with me.”
“I am absolutely not joking.” His tone was short, curt. He pulled into a parking lot and turned off the car, leaning back in the chair and staring at me. He narrowed his eyes as he said, “I know what makes you smile and how to get you to laugh and how to help you when you cry. I know what your favorite snacks are and when you need a back rub if it’s that time of the month. I know when your leg is hurting or your arm and how to push you when you’re stubborn. How is that not your type?”
“Because you’re… you? And… I’m me?”
A flash of hurt crossed his face before he pressed his lips together. I’d upset him. My stomach twisted with guilt, and I hated knowing I did that. A deep wrinkle formed between his eyebrows as he exhaled. “I should’ve asked this instead. What is your preferred type? When you envision yourself with someone, what are they like?”
“Callum.” I swallowed, the uncomfortable feeling in my chest forming again. How could I hurt him? It was wild to even imagine. “You’ve never expressed interest in me once. We’ve known each other since we were five. I’m glad to get dinner with you to reconnect, and if you call this a date, then great. I still…do we even trust each other again?”
“I trust you with my life.” His gaze moved to my mouth before he flashed a grin. “Let me get your door. We can continue talking during our date.”
My stomach somersaulted.
I barely undid my seatbelt before he opened the door for me, his usual smirk back on his face. Gone was the frustration from five seconds ago, replaced with his confident, playful grin that showcased his dimples. This was the guy I was used to. Not… yeah, not the other one. The flirty, charming version flustered me. That version had me thinking things that were not reality. Like kissing him or what it’d feel like to be one of his girls, one of his hookups. That version made me think of all the times I saw him pick up girls and kiss them senseless, and I’d wanted to know what it’d feel like to be them. I’d thought about it a few times, briefly, years ago, but all those suppressed feelings slammed to the front of my mind.
“My mom took me here when she visited last year. You’ll see what I mean when I tell you it reminds me of you.” He didn’t take my hand, but he walked close enough that our arms kept brushing against each other.
Each slight touch had me sweating. Thank goodness I’d worn black. It was like he was intentionally trying to touch me just enough to get me heated but then backed away. I wasn’t equipped for this. He was too overwhelming when I needed time to analyze whatever this was. I wanted to weigh the pros and cons before letting a touch turn into more. When I was stressed, my brain hyper-analyzed everything, and that happened now. Had I shoved my attraction for Callum deep-deep down all these years to not get hurt or rejected? I wasn’t sure if he’d ever feel that way, so him showing even a little had me on edge.
“This place looks really nice.” I eyed the brick columns and plants placed everywhere. Green leaves covered the walls, circling around them and onto the ground. They traveled inside too.
Ivy.
It was all ivy.
“See what I mean?” He put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into the crook. He smelled like cedarwood and mint, and my mouth watered when I breathed him in deep. “I know my actions don’t match my words, but there were signs of you everywhere. You never really left me. It might seem like it, and maybe I left your life for a bit, but you were always with me.”
My eyes prickled as he squeezed me once, then let go. He guided us to the host stand, putting on the charming smile I was quite familiar with. “Reservation for two, O’Toole, please.”
“Right this way.” The hostess smiled at him, then me. “We have a spot for you in the back, like you requested.”
Requested? I eyed Callum, but he shrugged. I thought I saw a slight pink on his ears, but the dim lighting made me question it. I’d never had anyone reserve a table for me specifically, and it just went right into the column of what is happening.
“This is right by our greenhouse. We grow a lot of our herbs here, which is part of what makes this place special. A waiter will be right with you.” She left us at a small, two-person booth, but my attention was on the outdoor garden. Twinkle lights covered the top, and ivy was just…everywhere.
“This is beautiful.”
“Mm hmm.”
I smiled at him, but he was staring right at me, not the garden. My heart stuttered. No other explanation for it. Warmth shone from every feature on his face, and my axis tilted again. “C-Callum?—”
“Please, sit.” His expression shifted back to normal, the dimples popping out. “What do I get if I guess exactly what you’re going to order?”
“No. There’s no way. I haven’t been here before, so you don’t know.” I sat, thankful for the change of topic. It was almost like he knew I needed this. “I could only eat cheese now. On a strict cheese diet.”
“You’re not, and if you were, I’d give you some tough love because that is terribly unhealthy.” He glanced at the menu before leaning onto his elbows. “What do I win if I’m right?”
“You’re awfully competitive, aren’t you?” I grinned as I scanned the main courses. I was a sucker for sweet potatoes and brussels sprouts. They were my favorite side dishes where the main protein could rotate. The chicken looked good but so did the salmon.
High school me would’ve done the burger and sweet potatoes, but that wasn’t me anymore. But Callum seemed confident, and it was always fun to knock him down a peg or two. “Okay, fine. Guess what I’ll order.”
“And if I get it right?”
I shrugged. “Five dollars?”
“No.” He pressed his lips together again. “I get to kiss you after dinner.”
Holy shit. My stomach bottomed out as an aggressive anticipation flowed through me.
I coughed into my fist, just as our waiter approached. His nametag read Peter, and we both ordered a glass of wine, him red, me white, and I took a sip of the cold water already on the table to settle my heartrate.
Kiss me.
This was the second time he’d mentioned kissing me in the last week. Even thinking about it had my mouth tingling.
”Now, just in case you change your mind and try to find a way to win this thing, I’m gonna write down your order on this napkin and give it to you face down before you say anything.” He pulled a pen from his pocket and wiggled his eyebrows.
“You seem confident about this.” I ran a finger down the menu, already making up my mind. I could order something to throw him off, but then, did I want that?
Did I want him to kiss me? I stared at his lips and found myself licking mine.
“I’m motivated. Super fucking motivated.” His gaze dropped to my mouth before returning to my eyes.
I blushed, hard. “No wonder girls fell at your feet your whole life. I feel so out of my element with you right now, but this charming act?—”
“Two things before we move forward,” he said, his tone holding a bite to it. He waited for me to meet his intense blue gaze. “Nothing I do with you is an act. Ever. Not for a second. Okay?”
I nodded.
“You’re not ready to hear what I have to say. I can see that. I came on too strong, and I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable in any way. This feeling is new for me too, but Ivy, I’ll go as slow as you need.”
“Slow?” I said, my voice barely a whisper.
“I want to date you.”
“Me.”
“Yes. You, Ivy. I want to date you.”
“But,” I said, taking a deep breath. I felt like I was standing on top of a roller coaster, staring at the drop before making the step toward it. One wrong move, and I’d fall off the rails and crash. “It would ruin our friendship.”
“We already did that, three years ago.” He reached for my hand and ran a finger over my wrist. The slight feather of a touch had my body tightening with need.
A need for Callum. The guy I’d never let myself even think about that way. Not even for a second. I crossed one leg over the other, trying to ease the growing tension between my legs.
“I told you that I have a whole section of my brain for you. You’re confused how I could have this attraction to you, right? It’s simple. I was terrified of losing you, so I put you in this safe, untouchable box. I never let myself admire the way your lips are so full and curve up on the sides or the way your hair is so glossy and shines when it hangs down your back. Even having those thoughts could threaten what we had. But we broke that. I broke it.” He opened his mouth to continue, but the waiter returned with our wine.
“Are you ready to order?”
“Oh, give me a minute.” Callum plastered on that charming smile, just like that. “We have a bet going on that if I can guess her order, then she has to kiss me.”
“Callum!” My face heated. He was just so open about it. It was refreshing and exhilarating.
“What? He gets to celebrate my win with me if I get this right.” He chewed on the end of his pen and clicked his fingers. “Got it. Okay.”
Callum scribbled on the napkin, a cocky smirk on his face. “Here, you can read it out after she orders.”
“This is crazy,” I mumbled, but the waiter seemed excited about the bet. “Have you had this happen before?”
“Nope. But I’m so curious if he’s right.” The waiter read the napkin and nodded. “Okay, so what are you going to order?”
Here was the moment.
I wanted the chicken and brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes, but that was almost too easy. Callum needed to work for it more. “I’ll take the salmon with a Caesar salad and brussels sprouts.”
The waiter’s face didn’t change at all. The guy was good. “That comes with rice, is that alright?”
“Could I substitute that for…” I studied the menu. “Onion rings?”
The waiters lip quirked. “Yes, and for you, sir?”
“Sirloin, medium, mashed potatoes, broccoli.” Callum leaned back in his seat, his nostrils slightly flared.
Did that mean victory or annoyance? I didn’t know! I knew in that second, I wanted Callum to be right. I wanted to feel his lips on mine, to see how he tasted, to have his large hands on me. “Okay, what did he write?”
The waiter shared a glance with Callum and nodded. “Well done, mate.”
He walked away, tossing the napkin on the table. I snatched it up and about gasped.
SALMON, NO RICE
CAESAR SALAD, brUSSELS SPROUTS
ONION RINGS OR GRILLED ONIONS
“What the fuck?” I stared at his handwriting, absolute disbelief numbing me. He got it right. He guessed my order. “How… what?”
“You’re a sucker when a restaurant has a recommended item. The salmon has a little ivy leaf next to it.” Callum sipped his wine before continuing. “Anyone who knows you at all knows you have a thing for brussels sprouts. The Caesar was hard though. I know you love honey mustard to dip fries in, but fries don’t go with salmon. And you are so weird about rice ever since that time your mom made you eat burnt rice. And onions would go well with the brussels.”
“Callum. I’m… speechless.”
Shocked. Impressed. Charmed. No one else in my life knew me that well. And after all this time… maybe his words held truth. Hell, he kept tabs on me after our fight where I hadn’t whatsoever.
“You told me I’m not your type, but I really want to prove to you that I can be. You know the real me, but I have my public personality working against me. I lost you once, Ivy, and I don’t plan to again.”
“You don’t even know if you like me like that. What if we don’t have chemistry?”
Okay, I was grasping at straws. My body buzzed around him, but his words were too much, and combined with the direct eye contact? Walls. I had to build some walls real quick.
His lips quirked. “We’ll test it.”
“Test what?” my voice cracked.
“Our chemistry. I’ll show you I am very into you that way and you’re into me too. I’m not being cocky right now. I have a theory. Do you want to hear it?”
Our chemistry. Holy balls. We’d always been so platonic, so to hear him speak about how we connected? Wild. Absolutely…well… there was a time we’d fallen asleep spooning, and I’d woken up with the urge to kiss him. Or the time we’d danced in the rain, and I secretly wished he’d just kiss me. Maybe there were small moments of attraction, but I never let it go anywhere because he always told me I was his best friend. The constant friend-zoning stopped all those thoughts. So yeah, I nodded, desperate to hear what he had to say. I spun the ring around my finger, over and over and over, because oh my god. This was huge!
“We used the term best friends to hide our emotions in high school. It made us feel safe, when we both know we were the other person’s emotional support partner. That comes with attraction and trust, Ivy Lee. Or maybe we were too immature and not ready to face what this was. It’s clear to me, and I’ll be patient until you figure it out.” He held up his glass of wine.
I cheered it.
“To… us?” I said, half-smiling.
He liked that. “To the new Ivy and Callum. Now, do you want to learn the update on my sister?”