16. Ivy
Callum told me the latest news about his sister and her baby daddy. The dude offered to move in with her temporarily to help but wasn’t sure he wanted the commitment. That upset the other lawyer sister who was gonna go after him in court.
His third sister was actually going to move in with Diana for year, which I thought was the best choice. Their mom was in the picture too, but the idea that kept popping into my head was Callum getting drafted. Did he want to be?
He mentioned it’d come with a bonus, which could help Diana out with her new baby, but it came with strings.
“My dad doesn’t know about the baby, and he’ll probably try to offer to buy his way back into our life somehow.” Callum took a sip of the wine and tensed.
“You should let him.”
“No.” He shook his head. “He doesn’t deserve to be in our family anymore.”
“I don’t disagree that he hurt you all and what he did was absolutely horrible, but if Diana needs financial help and the baby daddy is too unreliable, why not let him help? What does she have to lose with accepting help?”
“Dignity.”
“I disagree. I think,” I said, speaking slowly. “People make mistakes and learn from them. They grow. They change. What if he’s not actually buying his way in? He doesn’t even know about the baby yet, and what if he doesn’t want to miss being a grandpa?”
“Ivy, you weren’t there the day he told my mom about his secret other life. It tore her apart, and she’s still picking up the pieces. You didn’t see her break down. That’s not something I’ll ever forgive. End of discussion.” His voice had an edge.
“Excuse me, I don’t appreciate you using that tone with me.”
His face fell. “I’m?—”
“I wasn’t there that week because you pushed me away. You treated me like shit because of what your dad did. I think what he did was shitty, but your sister is in a different situation than you and reserves the right to do what she thinks is best. If she wants to let your dad back into her life, then you don’t get in the way.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t intervene.”
I frowned and shook my head.
“That’s not that obvious from your tone. Also,” I paused, hesitated. “You’ve made mistakes too. Are you saying you haven’t changed or grown from three years ago? Are you the same guy who pushed me away and didn’t reach out for three years?”
I’d never seen Callum look so pained. His posture shifted, and his eyes lost the spark that was there five minutes ago. Guilt ate my stomach up, the gray line of us dating already being blurred from the past. My eyes prickled. I needed a minute. Just a quick one to collect myself. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”
I pushed up before he could respond and rushed toward the bathroom in the back. A lead ball formed in my stomach, and I was queasy. We’d already spoken about the past, and I brought it up, hoping to hurt him. For what?
Because he said I wasn’t there so I couldn’t talk about it?
There was no way this would work. Us, dating? We couldn’t even talk about his family without there being issues. I put my hands on the edge of the sink and closed my eyes. Taking deep breaths, I tried to shake the uneasy feeling off. The hurt from that argument, where I’d pushed him too far and he lashed out lingered. And now, even mentioning his dad had me doing the same thing.
How could I protect myself fully if he’d act this way every time his dad was brought up? Could I even mention my parents without him getting upset?
Was this foolish to even entertain the idea of us? How often would the past resurface and hurt us?
Or what if you’re trying to find every possible reason for this not to work?
Someone knocked on the door. “Ivy?”
“Give me a minute.”
“Open up, please.” Callum sounded upset. His voice seemed worried, strained. Hearing the turmoil in his tone caused the weight in my stomach to double.
How could we go from talking about kissing to this? Me hiding in the bathroom trying not to cry? The up and down was like whiplash, and my poor chest ached from the overwhelming feelings.
Unlocking the door, I planned to step out in the hallway, but he pushed his way in and locked it behind him.
“What are you doing?” I asked, breathless. He towered over me in the small bathroom. His height blended in at the stadium or even in the restaurant with high ceilings, but in here? He was a giant.
“I’m so fucking sorry. I—” He pulled at his hair and stared at the bathroom wall. He seemed to debate with himself before he closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me in a suffocating hug. He hoisted me off the ground, buried his head in my shoulder, and embraced me.
Warmth trailed along my neck, then my jaw. Almost like he was kissing me. Tension released from my muscles from his touch, and I felt anchored again. The softness of his shirt and strength of his arms combined with his minty scent, and my stomach did a back handspring.
I dangled in the air, gripping his arms so I wouldn’t fall, and Callum kissed my neck. This was… too much. “Put me down, please.”
“Okay.” He slid me down his body, his eyes squeezed shut. He kept his hands on my hips though. “You’re right. You were right about my dad and the feelings of anger and guilt mixed, and I’m just… I didn’t mean to upset you. And hearing you say all that, fuck, Ivy. I hate that I said that. I hate that you had to run away to the bathroom.”
“Maybe this is a bad idea?” I whispered, not detailing what this referred to.
“It’s not.” He ran his hand up my side, onto my shoulder and gently grazed his thumb over my collarbone. He breathed hard, his eyes more focused, more intense than I had ever seen off the field. “I have some unresolved dad issues, which I’ll work on, but I can’t have you pulling away from me. I let my father’s action affect me in a really fucked up way that summer, and I refuse to let him get between us again. I’ll give you all the space you need, sure. But I won’t survive if you shut me out. I just got back in, and you’re… I feel like I’m home when I’m with you.”
Without meaning to, I nodded. I knew exactly how he felt, but that scared me. When I was around him, nothing else mattered. I didn’t think about my internship or what Esme thought of this or who was even sitting around us. All I saw was him and his smile. The all-encompassing obsession with him was terrifying.
Can you survive another heartbreak?
“Come back to dinner with me?”
God, the look on his face was enough to have my knees buckling. He stared at my face without blinking, wide eyes and a worried wrinkle between his brows, which combined with the constant flexing of his jaw. He was worried.
I placed my hand over his, the one on my shoulder, and his expression softened at my touch. How did I, Ivy Emerson, have the power to unravel Callum? Fascinating.
One thing Callum taught me years ago was the power of owning up to your part. I think it had to do with having three sisters, but he was quick to apologize (minus our three-year fight), and despite the out-of-control worry in my gut, there was a blip of guilt.
“I’m allowed to push back on you when I think you’re in the wrong. I’m always going to do that,” I said, swallowing.
“I need you to. I’ll handle it better next time.” He rushed the words out.
“But you also need to call me on my shit when I mention the past. We discussed it a lot, and it needs to stay there. Your tone made me defensive, and I instantly brought it up. I’m sorry for that.”
“I still can’t believe I hurt you,” he whispered, resting his forehead on mine. His breath hit my face, and I swore his body vibrated. “I always want you on my team, and I’m sorry you doubted that for a second.”
Relief flooded my veins. I’d wanted to hear those words for years, and a pang deep in my chest loosened.
“Another thing we need to figure out,” I said, causing him to stand up straight and focus on me. He reminded me of the time we took calculus together. He’d sit in the front row to gain all the knowledge he could. He looked like that now, with me. “You know I need distance sometimes, like me running in here. Usually, back then, you’d be my comfort person, but I might need distance from you for a bit, and I need you to let me.”
His jaw tightened. “Why can’t I be your person still?”
“I need time to adjust my thoughts to you. If you’re always there, then how can I think?” I played with the hem of my dress, my nervous energy needing a release.
“I can comfort you from a distance? Please, don’t run from me. We have shit to work through, but I’m willing. I’d do anything.” He pressed his lips together. “Do you need another minute here alone?”
“See, that was a great ask. Thank you.” I grinned at him, and he smiled back, dimples and all. “I’m okay now. We can go sit down.”
He took my hand and kissed the back of it. Then, he covered my hand with his other and guided us out of the restroom. Thankfully, it was in a dark hallway so no one saw us leaving the small room. Which would’ve been embarrassing.
He pulled out my chair and pushed me in, then returned to his side. He grinned his playboy, charming smile and then laughed.
I found my own lips curving up just hearing that sound. His laughter was contagious. Always had been. And to have him chuckle so closer to my ear, goose bumps exploded all down my neck.
“What’s funny?”
“You. Us.” His eyes sparkled over the light as he gazed at the ivy on the wall. “Call me crazy, but I love learning these new sides of you in this space.”
“Like me running away to the bathroom?”
“Mm, no, I mean, I guess. I meant more how you are in a relationship. What makes you tick. I know your love languages as a friend, but are they the same? It’s like reading your favorite book over and over, but this time, there’s a couple of additional chapters you haven’t read before. Do you realize how exciting that is?”
“That might be… the most romantic thing I’ve heard you say.” I blushed and played with the napkin. I still couldn’t grapple with being on the receiving end of this. Callum didn’t talk like this, ever. I’d never heard him speak this way about any girl he dated. Hell, he never really dated, so this felt special. My mind latched onto his kind words, already planning on obsessing over them tonight. “Plus, you still read?”
“Shut up.” He laughed, hard, and slid his leg against mine under the table. The sensation of our legs touching was like hitting an exposed wire. A buzz coursed through me, a combination of want and need. How else would it feel to touch him now that we were exploring our chemistry? I swallowed with nerves and excitement.
“Now, help me with what I need to do to get Esme on my side.”
Our food arrived, and I told him all about Esme and her brother. He talked about the team dynamics and Oliver—the passing out thing worried me. There were no more heavy talks about his dad or us or the future. For the next hour, it felt like he was my old best friend again.
Besides an occasional brush of his hand over my calf under the table, there were no touches or indications we were on a date. But that changed when he walked me to his car.
The air was charged. Thick.
He started the engine, put the car in drive, then placed his right hand on my knee again. His thumb moved back and forth over the sensitive skin, and it was like I was electrocuted. A buzz spread up my thigh, heating my whole body.
A heavy anticipation clogged each breath. Is he going to kiss me?
Did I want him to? YES. YES, I did.
But it’s Callum!
“Thank you for coming to dinner with me tonight.” Callum snuck a glance at me, lips quirked up, eyes clear and crinkled. “Our first date went well, I think.”
“You only had to follow me to the bathroom one time.”
He snorted. “Success, then. I was nervous, not gonna lie to you.”
“You, nervous?” I sat up straighter. “You’re never nervous for anything.”
“Usually, correct.” That thumb moved a little higher up my thigh. “But I’ve never done the whole dating thing, so I had nothing to fall back on, plus, it was with you. I can handle a lot of things, but disappointing you? No thank you.”
“I was nervous too. I still am,” I said softly. Sweat pooled down my cleavage the whole time we were in the car. It was like my body was preparing for the chemistry part.
His grip tightened, but he didn’t say anything else as he finished the drive to my apartment. He parked the car and shut it off before leaning back in the seat and facing me. “I want to be a gentleman and walk you to the door, say goodnight, then text you stupid memes until I see you tomorrow.”
I almost laughed. “That sounds on-brand for you, yet I sense a second half of that sentence lingering.”
His gaze dropped to my lips. “I’ve always loved your mouth, Ivy, the wild facts you say and your attitude. But I want to taste it.”
Whoa.
Molten lava flowed from my mouth to my fingers, heat pulsating through every cell. I want to taste it. That was the sexiest thing I had ever heard.
I nodded, even though he hadn’t really asked a question. I wanted to kiss Callum too. Chewing my lip, I unbuckled as he opened the door for me. He did that in high school, insisting his sisters taught him to do it, but I disagreed. He liked taking care of people.
Wordlessly, he slid his fingers against mine and held my hand as we walked up the stairs. My pulse raced with each step, a million questions about this kiss swirling in my head. I’d kissed people before. I’d dated here and there. But kissing Callum?
Massive.
Fact: did you know your lips were a hundred times more sensitive than the tips of your fingers?
“Huh, I didn’t know that,” Callum said.
I cringed. “Uh, shit. I thought that but didn’t mean to… say it.”
“I love your facts. What else you got in there?” he teased, his voice kind.
“Simple kisses usually use two muscles, where a passionate, more heated kiss can use 20-30 facial muscles.”
“Interesting.” His voice deepened as we left the stairwell and stood outside my door. “Makes sense, in a way.”
How did people handle this? I was a nervous wreck. We faced each other, my right hand still in his left, and my left knee bouncing up and down. The fabric of my dress made a swish sound with every movement, and it had to echo through the entire building. Man, did my neighbor have a party going on? Music thumped through the walls, the vibrations making their way up my leg. His fingers twitched, and his grip tightened. Why? This was horrible. The anticipation. Could he feel my sweaty hands? Why wasn’t he just doing it?
He breathed deep, then ran his hand up my side and toward my neck. His nostrils flared as he wet his lips. The heated look in his eyes was enough to have me whimpering.
“Oh, what was that sound for?” He pulled me close, my chest touching his as he played with my hair. “I love your hair. Have I ever told you that? I used to stare at it in class, wondering how it felt.”
“N-no, you never told me.”
He hummed, his gaze staying on mine as he moved his fingers from my hair to my jawline, then over my lips. I shuddered and gripped his shirt so I didn’t fall. His fingers were like feathers, tickling me so lightly. Each brush of his calloused thumb had me on edge. I couldn’t fucking breathe.
“Hundred times more sensitive?”
My thighs clenched. Heat pooled between my legs, and my nipples tightened with an aggressive, unfamiliar need. The urge to be touched consumed me. Like I’d die of heat if his touch didn’t soothe it.
“You’re killing me right now.” I closed my eyes. “Just kiss me, damn it. Touch me.”
He didn’t. In fact, he lowered his face and nipped my ear before kissing down my jaw. “Fuck, you smell so good right here. Vanilla and flowers. It’s delicious.”
I fell into him, my legs about giving out from all the blood rushing out of my brain. His cologne mixed with the wine, and I was on fire. “Callum,” I begged.
“I’m showing you, Ivy,” he whispered, his tongue flicking my ear again. “That we have insane chemistry. Is your skin tingling right now from me touching you here?”
“Yes,” I whispered. I was on literal fire.
His other arm wrapped around me, supporting me, as he sucked my skin for a second. The sensation caused a flurry of goose bumps to explode all the way over my hips and legs. He chuckled against my skin. “I fucking love this. Learning your reactions from me touching you.”
“How are y-you so calm right now?”
“Calm?” He pulled back, his blue eyes a storm of lust. “Ivy, the last thing I am right now is calm. Patient? Yes. Mindful of you being nervous, also yes. But don’t mistake me being a gentleman for me being calm. I promise you, you wouldn’t say that if you were in my mind.”
“Tell me then. I’m… burning up. I don’t know what I need, but you’re overwhelming, and my facts aren’t coming, and my body is so hot. I want to feel your skin, but we’re in the hallway.” God, my words slurred together in a nervous heap.
He gripped the back of my head, tugging my hair so I had to look up at him. “I want to kiss every part of your body and learn what sounds you make. I want to see your face when you come over and over on my mouth or on my cock. I desperately need to learn the way you cry out my name in pleasure.”
I gasped. My senses went into hyperdrive. The deep lull of his voice saying sexy dirty things were like fire. The way his eyes kept moving toward my mouth and his fingers tightening their grip on me. His pupils dilated, and I whimpered.
“I want all these things before I sink into you and wrap your sexy, strong-ass legs around me. I want to trace your secret tattoo with my tongue and lick up your body and bury my face between your tits. Is that better for you? That’s where my mind is, but you matter way too much for me to move that fast. Now, I’m gonna kiss you because I can’t wait another goddamn second.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I memorized every single thing he just said before he placed his lips on mine. Simple kiss. It was soft, tender. He did it again, then a third time. A deep, husky growl vibrated from his chest, and I ran my hands over his pectorals and shoulders, feeling his chiseled muscles and the beat of his heart. It was erratic, like mine.
“Perfect,” he whispered against my mouth, his hands digging into my sides. “I knew you would be.”
He peppered me with soft, cute kisses before I lost it.
“Kiss me for real, damnit. I don’t want this slow, soft?—”
He hoisted me up and leaned my back against my door. The hard surface dug into my back for a second, but all that was lost when he licked the corner of his mouth. “That fucking mouth of yours.”
His blue eyes burned as he stared at me a beat. Then, he kissed me hard. He slid his tongue inside my mouth, tilting my head back to go deeper. One hand dug into the back of my head, the other holding my waist as he devoured me. This wasn’t just a kiss— it was a claim. It was hot and somehow so right. The taste of his tongue combined with the feel of his lips on mine overwhelmed me. I could feel my heart pound against my ribcage, each beat faster than the previous. The sounds of the cars on the road drifted away, and all I felt and heard and smelled was him. He lit a fire deep in my core, and it burned in the best way. No other way to describe the aggressive, hot feeling coursing through me. My pussy throbbed, and I rocked my hips against him.
He groaned into my mouth, sucking my tongue as I clawed at him. I needed to touch him. I needed him to touch me.
“Baby, your lips are fucking perfect,” he whispered against me. I could feel his smile, and that little gesture had my stomach swooping. He swallowed so hard it clicked, and his breath washed over my face as he kissed my jaw. “Your skin has me weak right now. So soft, so smooth.”
I shuddered. I gripped his shoulders to prevent myself from falling completely. The charm, the seduction… my insides were on overdrive. I couldn’t get enough of him. I wanted more. His mouth, his hands, his body. It was too far away.
“Callum,” I begged, dragging his mouth toward mine again. He met me with a sexy groan, and our teeth clashed together as we kissed even harder than before. It was like we couldn’t get enough. He overtook all my senses to the point I forgot to breathe.
Gasping, I broke apart the kiss, making him laugh.
“Okay, okay.” He pulled back and rested his forehead on my shoulder. “That was… I need to set you down.”
“What? No,” I whined, the loss of his body heat making me shiver. I felt… let down. Disappointed. My face heated. “Why…” I swallowed.
“Don’t look at me like that.” He gave a half smile before running a hand over his face, glancing down the hall. “Let me do this the right way, Ivy. Please.”
“But—”
“Get yourself off and think about me. But we’re not ready.” His eyes flashed. “I have more work to do to get you to trust me.” He kissed the back of my hand, then sighed. “I’m leaving, but please note that this is very noble of me.”
“Fine, five noble points for you.”
His lips quirked. “Best first date ever.”
“It was okay.” I shrugged.
He laughed. “Fuck, you little ballbuster. Next one will be better then. Now, get your cute ass inside and lock up.”
I did as he said and leaned against the door with a huge grin. This surpassed any expectations I could ever have. After all those years of watching Callum be a womanizer, I’d shoved down any curiosity of what it’d feel like, but holy shit. I’d gone on a date with Callum and kissed him. And he kissed like a god. All passion, all skill. My lips still tingled from his mouth and holy shit. Callum and I had gone on a date. It didn’t feel weird, either. If anything, it felt right.
And pigs didn’t fly, and it didn’t rain gold. Maybe… maybe this could work.